Chapter 52

Adrianna POV

"What time is your doctor's appointment today?" Nik questioned before softly kissing my head.

We were currently laying in bed before he had to get up and get ready for his shift today, I didn't want him to go to work today. He has had the last two days off and I've enjoyed it immensely, I hated that I was being selfish and always wanting him around, but I felt incredibly safe and protected around Nik.

"Late this afternoon and Dimitri said that if the doctor gives me the okay to be back in the gym he said he'll join me and help out."

"Okay so that is one thing sorted, when are you going to talk to a therapist?" I stiffened and I felt Nik shift me so I was facing him.

"Why are you so against talking to a therapist Dri?" Nik questioned softly and I just closed my eyes.

"Because I just want to get past it, my nightmares have finally stopped and I'm nowhere near as panicky when you leave for your shifts. Why can't that be enough to make people realise I'm past what happened?"

"Do you walk across the grounds by yourself? The only time you've seen Rose and Dimitri is when you've had to go to that side of the grounds for whatever reason, you are still refusing to receive your tattoos and when was the last time you saw Lissa or Christian? You have literally spent all your time since returning with either myself, Rose or Dimitri or Zoya since she returned."

"If I get my stupid tattoos will you be convinced I'm past everything?" I grumbled while attempting to roll over but Nik's grip on my waist prevented me from doing so.

"No because as much as you hate admitting it, I love you Dri. I know you incredibly well, you are trying to shut that part of you off in hopes of forgetting what happened. You need to deal with what happened properly by talking to someone, you need to realise that what happened was a freak accident. You need to stop blaming yourself for Clary's death because it could have been you instead of her that got fed off first, you saying your nightmares have gone is a lie. Dri you talk in your sleep sometimes." I stared at Nik for a moment.

"Let go…"

"Dri…"

"I said let go Nik." I hissed at him and his grip on my hips eventually lessened and I pulled away before getting off the bed grabbing pants on my way past and storming out of the apartment.

It wasn't until I was half way across the grounds that the panic set in, Nik was right. I hadn't really left the Guardian side of the grounds because I was terrified of what could happen, I was leaving a party heading home when I was taken with Clary. Couldn't the same thing happen again?

"Adrianna is that you?" I spun around at the sound of that voice and found Eliza standing there.

"Eliza, what are you doing back at Court? I thought you left after Clary's funeral." I still regret not attending Clary's funeral, but I couldn't leave Nik's apartment. I was way too scared back then.

"I had to return, I couldn't continue staying away knowing it's all your fault. You know it's all your fault, you couldn't even face me when I had to bury my daughter. If you hadn't of dragged her off to that stupid party she wouldn't have been taken, if you had of been the Guardian everything thinks you are because of your grades then my daughter wouldn't have been killed or taken in the first place! You're the reason I lost my daughter! You don't deserve to live anymore Adrianna."

And that was the part of the dream that caused me to wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

"Dri, it's going to be alright." I heard Nik's voice before he wrapped his arms around me and I twisted into him before I started crying against him.

Nikolaus POV

I admit there have been moments where I have been terrified in the past, the first time I came across a Strigoi, the time where I lost my brother, when Kass had told me that something bad had happened but she couldn't tell me what, moments when I thought I was going to lose my mother but nothing could prepare me for the moments that were regarding Dri.

I never expected to find love in my life, it wasn't something male Guardians got all that often. I was afraid when I first realised my feelings, when she was taken, even once she returned and I had to deal with all the repercussions of what happened while she was gone.

Aside from Dri refusing to get her tattoos or speak to a therapist, things had seemed fine for her. Majority of her bruises had disappeared, the one of her ribs were a yellowish colour making me think that maybe her ribs have finally healed completely so she can set foot in the gym again.

I thought her nightmares had stopped, she hasn't woken up in the middle of panicking for a while now, but her waking up screaming and in the process freaking me out, well I was absolutely terrified and I didn't know what to do.

I did the only thing I could do, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close while she cried herself to sleep.

I knew she did end up falling asleep at some point because she had stopped crying against me and I was able to get some more sleep even though I was terrified that she was going to wake up screaming again at one point.

My alarm woke me up and I was glad to see Dri still sound asleep, I quietly pulled away to shower and get ready for my shift. Dri had been bugging me for the last couple of days about being back in the gym, she has another check-up this afternoon to determine whether or not her ribs had healed properly and I promised her that if they had we could go to the gym. So of course I had to switch my shifts around to make it happen, but the look on her face was enough for the early start and lack of sleep to be worth it.

When I had finished in the bathroom I entered the bedroom to find Dri missing from the bed, I panicked a little but then I saw her walk through the door. She looked at me for a moment before looking away and climbing back into bed pulling the blanket over her head.

I wanted to laugh at how she was acting, but I couldn't not today anyway because she was embarrassed for what happened last night.

"Dri?" I spoke as I walked closer to the bed but I was met with a muffled response. "What was that?"

She sat up and pulled the blanket away from her looking at me for a moment, "I said leave me alone." I wasn't at all surprised when she laid back down pulling the blanket over her.

I walked over and sat on the side of the bed before gripping the blanket, "remember I'm stronger than you, are you really going to fight me on this?" I kept tugging on it lightly waiting for the moment her grip lessened and I was able to pull it away from her.

"How much sleep did you end up getting?" she frowned but I just leaned over and softly kissed her, I was grateful when I was finally able to kiss her without her panicking anymore.

"It doesn't matter, we're trained to work on less anyway. Are you going to talk about your nightmare?" she shook her head. "Dri, you were terrified about something. You need to talk about it."

"Are you mad at me?" her question shocked me, ever since she got back I've told her I'm not mad at anything she's been doing. Yes I hate that she refuses to talk to a therapist but I'm just worried about what's going to happen with her future because until last night with her nightmare she seemed like she was getting better.

"For your nightmare? God no Dri, I would never be mad at you for that. Why would you think that?"

"But you got barely any sleep, you can't go and work a shift on barely any sleep." She rolled away from me but all I did was lay down beside her and pull her close to me.

"And it's not the first time, I promise you I'm not mad at you for that. If you're really that worried I'm just in the office today anyway, nowhere near the boundaries."

"Still doesn't make me feel any better." She mumbled before pulling away from me.

"Look I have to leave otherwise I will be late and won't make your doctor's appointment, you still want me there yes?" she finally turned around and looked at me, I was partly afraid she'd say no but then she nodded. "Alright, do you want me to come back here or are you going to meet me there?"

"I'll meet you there…" her voice was so soft I barely her and it shocked me, normally she wants me to come back here and get her before we go anywhere.

"You sure?" she nodded. "Okay, well I will see you this afternoon then, I love you." She nodded again before I softly kissed her.

I gave her one last look before leaving the room hoping she would say something, anything else but she didn't, she just curled up in the bed before going back to sleep.

"She still not here?" I looked up at the sound of the doctor's voice and shook my head before looking at my watch.

Dri was almost 10 minutes late, I was so close to getting up and leaving in search of her but I wouldn't even know where to begin searching for her. There was a part of me hoping that she was still in the apartment and just too terrified to leave because the other thoughts I had were worse, I was terrified she was taken again.

I finally got fed up and left in search of her but as soon as I exited the building I saw Dri heading my way, "I'm sorry," her voice cracked as she walked over and put her arms around me, it was then I knew she wasn't okay.

"It's okay, are you okay?" she shook her head against my chest.

"No, I thought I would be fine. I thought I would be able to walk across the grounds in the middle of our day where so many people are present but I was scared something was going to happen but then I didn't want to ring you and tell you I was scared because I was afraid you would use it against me in hopes of me talking to a therapist. I don't want to talk to a therapist Nik, I just can't talk to a stranger about everything and I don't want to. Not yet." Her voice broke and I didn't know what to say, she just started to slightly crying against me and all I could do was hold her until she calmed down.

I pulled away from her and wiped away her tears, "Dri I would never use something like that against you, yes I want you to talk to a therapist but only because I know it will be good for you but I would never force you to because it can do more damage than good."

"Promise?" I was a little hurt that she had to question me like that but there was nothing I can do.

"I promise, now let's go inside and find out if you're allowed to be back in the gym." I was so glad to see a smile on her face at that. Everything, all my plans, ideas and actions are just so I can put a smile on her face.

I hate that she went through everything that she did and I knew it would take some time to heal from it all, I remember what Kass was like and what she had was one night. I just want Dri to get better and she just has to take it one day at a time and by me making her laugh and smile every day is enough for it happen.

Adrianna POV

"Please…" I was literally on my knees begging to Nik and he had a smirk on his face.

I had no idea who he was on the phone too, all he did was state that maybe our trip to the gym would have to wait and then he answered his phone. I of course cannot understand a single word of Greek and the bastard refused to teach me.

The doctor had stated that my ribs were now perfectly fine and I was allowed to get back into training, keeping in mind not to throw myself too far into that in case I did more damage than good. I of course completely blanked with the knowledge that the doctor had access to my records as well as what happened two years ago with me throwing myself into training and therefore leading to my eventual collapse on the gym floor.

The smirk was still placed on his face as he slid his phone into his pocket, "you coming?"

"Depends are we going to the gym?" I scrunched my face up at him, I didn't want to follow him if he wasn't going there. I was finally allowed in the gym and I will be damned if I didn't go there now.

He grinned at me, "of course, I told you we would if the doctor gave you the all clear." I scowled at him but he just laughed. "Who was on the phone?"

"My mother, but that is another conversation for another time." He linked his fingers through mine as we headed towards the gym.

"Back to basics okay? You might feel fine but you've been out of training for months now, the last thing you need is to attempt something that you won't be able to perform and hurt yourself. I want you to promise me now you won't do anything too advanced unless you've done it successfully with someone else," Nik had cupped my face, I was confused as to why he was making me promise this.

"But…"

"No buts Dri, just the other week you tried to flip me and couldn't. Before you were taken you could flip me no problems if I wasn't putting up any resistance. Don't you remember how weak and useless you felt when you realised it was impossible for you to do?"

"Yeah but what's your point?" I raised an eyebrow at him but he just laughed softly.

"The point is, if you did something else like lifting weights you used to it could backfire badly. Just promise me you will take it easy, like I said back to basics. Follow what Rose, Dimitri and myself put out there for you, even Damon and Josh when they return for Christmas break. Just not Zoya okay? I know she's family and you love her but she doesn't know you as well as the rest of us do, the boys know when you are pushing yourself too far. I don't want to go through the fear of losing you again." my heart broke at the sight of how hurt he looked, all I could do was nod.

"I promise." I finally spoke.

"Good, now let's start with Cardio and maybe if you're feeling up to it we can do some basic weights." He kissed my forehead before pulling away and I followed him back outside.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading and has set alerts for my story, it means a lot to me. Please review!

peggy thank you for reviewing, it means a lot to me. I never planned on giving up on this story, as I stated massive writers block even now I am slightly struggling but I'm slowly getting through. It's just a struggle writing about Dri and her recovering from everything that happened and piece it together when the next part of her life.

Reedy1012thank you for reviewing, it means a lot to me. Thank you so much for everything you've said in your review, you don't understand how much that means to me considering in school with my English classes or basically any class where I had to write something I always struggled with that sort of thing. Writing fanfictions have really helped due to the constructive criticism along the way. I'm glad you can't describe how you feel when it comes to the emotions Dri is going through, it was my plan and hope when I wrote those particular gruelling chapters for many reasons.