Sam looked a little shocked at that, looking from Dean to Lizzy, like he wasn't sure. Then he got he keys, handing them to Dean.
Dean took the keys and gestured to the door. "Please, after you." he said opening the door for her. They walked quietly out to the parking lot. Lizzy led him to the Impala and Dean paused for a moment. He stepped forward and ran his hands over the sleek, smooth lines of the classic car. "Hello, Sweetheart. Did you miss me?" he whispered.
For once, in the longest time it seamed, Lizzy smiled slightly at that, but then it quickly was gone.
"I know there is nothing I can say to make this right. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I really am, but what did you want me to do? Bring them. They were safe with Bobby. Safer then with me..."
"Just tell me why. Why would you even THINK of hurting yourself like that?" Dean asked as his voice cracked with pent up emotion.
She shook her head. "I don't know. I really don't. Did they tell you about the..." Lizzy started. Dean coldly nodded. "After I lost him, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted to see you so badly. I didn't really plan it. I just saw it as a way out at the moment. Maybe it was just hormone from the... loss. But when Sam came and offered me a chance to fight, to at least get some revenge... I took it. It was better then the alternative."
"You think you're the only one to lose something like that in this war? In life? You had Ellen and Bobby. Why didn't you talk to them?" Dean asked tears starting to fill his eyes.
She scoffed at that. "They wanted to commit me, Dean. Did they tell you that? For my own good? Why do you think Bobby even allowed me to go off with Sam? I was going to be taken away from my children either way; at least I had a choice with it. I should have talked to them, I know... but GOD Dean I don't I barely remember doing it. I was so far gone by then," she admitted.
"It shouldn't have gotten to that point, Liz! They were there for you. For you to talk to, to lean on. Hell they both knew what you were going through. They both knew the loss!" Dean shot back.
She wanted to fight more, but she was just too tired of it. "Fine. I screwed up. Again. That is all I ever seem to do. I'm sorry," She said she felt a few more tears slip down. "But there is one thing I never stopped doing," She said, taking her locket off and placed it in his hand. "I never stopped loving you," She said before she turned and started to walk back into the motel.
"HOLD IT!" he yelled, freezing her in her tracks. He took the wedding rings off the chain and walked over to her. "Turn around." he said. "I want you to watch this, now turn around."
She took a deep breath, trying to get herself under control before she turned at looked at him. She was scared, terrified. She felt like her nightmares where coming true and he hated her.
"I am not saying that I'm not pissed and hurt beyond measure, but I am saying that I love you." He slid his wedding ring onto his finger and held hers out for her to take if she chose to.
She looked at the ring, in his hand for a moment. Then she slowly walked back to him. She took it from his fingers looking up at him as she slides it back into place.
"I'm sooo sorry I gave up on you. If I had known... I would have never... I would have waited for you. I was just... lonely," she admitted.
"You did it didn't you... you slept with Sam..." Dean asked quietly not really wanting to know the answer.
She looked at his feet then, nodding slowly. She hated herself for that. "I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did," she said softly. She could try and argue, that it wasn't Sam in her mind, that she was just using him. It had always been him, but then that just made her out to be the slut she felt herself to be. She hated herself for being so weak. So she just stood there, ready for the hated words she knew where coming, that she deserved.
Dean blinked a few times and took a deep breath. He knew that she had been hurting and in her position he might have clung to any comfort he could get but the blatant purposeful betrayal on Sam's part was inexcusable in Dean's mind. He caressed her face gently and kissed her forehead. "Excuse me while I go make me an only child." Dean hissed and started walking back to the door of the hotel.
She felt fear at that. Fear more for his safety then Sam's. "Please don't. Please stop the fighting," she said, grabbing at his shoulder before she jumped back at the intense, unexpected feeling she got at the touch. A feeling familiar but unrecognizable. Then she looked at him, terrified... maybe this wasn't her husband, maybe they where just masking it.
"Look I can under stand why you would look to him. Aside from yourself and my father Sam knew me better than anyone. But God, Liz, he promised, he swore to me that no matter what happened, whether we saved me or not that he wouldn't cross that line. He wouldn't touch you. He betrayed me." Dean said. "I raised him, took care of him, gave him everything I had, and he betrayed me. He took the one thing, the one person that I loved more than anyone else that I had ever met in my life for himself. And you want me to just let that go?"
She barely listen too him. Trying to see if she could get a sense of anything thing again, but nothing.
"Who are you?" she asked, looking at Dean's now confused face. She pulled out her silver knife, one that Dean himself had gotten her. It was old and worn. "You're masking me aren't you? But I felt it.. just for a second," she said backing away from him.
"What are you talking about? I told you I'm back, I'm real and I'm me. If you don't believe me take the silver and cut me. Or did you not just see me put on my SILVER ring?" Dean said. What happened? What had she felt? "Come on, Liz, talk to me what ever you felt might be the thing that brought me back."
He was right, he did have the ring. She walked up to him tentatively, thinking. She looked him over again. She touched his arm but nothing so then she touched his left shoulder again, getting the same feeling again. She pulled up the sleeve of his shirt quickly and the gasped at the mark.
"Dean... what happened to you?" She asked.
"I don't know." he said. He pulled his t-shirt off revealing smooth, toned unmarked skin. "I should have scars. Knife wounds, gunshots, claw marks... even that ache in my right shoulder. It's all gone except for that." Dean whispered. He shivered as she ran her hands over his flesh.
She looked him over, exploring his skin with her finger.
"Oh, God, who could have done this... what could have done this?" She said, thinking of touching the mark again, fingers tentative to touch it, skin on skin. Dean stopped her and she looked up at him.
"It's cold out here, and I need to get back soon. They need me," Dean said softly.
She nodded. "Let me get my things..." Lizzy said as she turned to head back into the hotel.
Dean walked with her putting his shirt back on. "This ain't gonna be easy, you know. You hurt her. Badly. She won't even listen to anyone talk about you. She didn't want me to talk to Ellen about you," Dean said honestly.
"I'm sure I have. It's my punishment for leaving. And I will have to take it," Lizzy said as they got back to the Hotel.
"Please... I just want to go home now. If you think you can't help but fight with him, then stay out here. I just want to get my stuff and go,"
"That's just it. He's not going to let you go," Dean said as they continued to the room. "He thinks he's right and everyone else is wrong. He thinks he's won."
Lizzy opened her mouth the protest to even defend Sam but then she realized something "You're right," she said with a sigh. "Stay out of it if you can. This is between me and him now," she said as they got into the room. They found Sam sitting on the bed, waiting. Bobby looked like he had said he peace and cleared out. He stood up, looking at the two of them. She walked right past him, and got her bag, starting to put some things into it.
"Lizzy, where are you going?" Sam asked.
"Home. I shouldn't have been gone this long," she said to him. Sam looked heated at his brother before turning back at her.
"Lizzy please... think about this... what your doing,"
"Dean's right. And there isn't a point anymore,"
"SHE NEEDS TO BE STOPPED!" Sam yelled.
"Yeah but not by me. I kept trying to fool myself that I was doing what was best for my kids... but I was only doing what was best for me. I need to stop being so selfish. They need me." Sam looked at Dean's angry expression, before dropping his voice so that only Lizzy could hear him.
"I need you," He pleaded, grabbing her leather-covered wrist, stopping her packing. "I saved you," He pushed.
"Back off, Sammy," Dean said slowly. He'd stayed quiet long enough. He watched as he tried to manipulate his wife into staying with him.
"You have NO idea what we've gone though these last 4 months Dean! She was so broken, but I picked up the pieces and made her whole again," Sam yelled. Lizzy laughed, low and almost cruel.
"I'm still broken Sam, I just hold it together some days better then others," she shook her head as she went to gather more of her things. "Don't fool yourself into thinking this wasn't anything more then what it was. Two desperate people seeking comfort. Now Head back to Ruby, she misses you," Lizzy bit out, before pulling her bag on her shoulder, leaving.
"You made her whole again? You? That's rich. If she's so whole, so much better then where are her children? You think I didn't see what that was just now? How many times has she wanted to go home to her babies, Sam? How many times did you stop her? This isn't your Family, Sam. Butt the Fuck out!" Dean said.
He followed Lizzy out to the car and climbed into his beloved Impala. "Mmm," he sighed and the worn leather seat hugged his form. "Yeah, baby, I missed you too." He put the key in the ignition and something near the radio caught his eye. "What the hell is that?"
Lizzy smiled slightly at that. "It's an Ipod jack. Sam got it..." Lizzy started before she just grabbed it, throwing it into the back seat. Dean smiled at her at that.
"I wonder how long it's going to take Sam to realize... I stole the knife," she said with a light glint in her eyes.
"That's my girl," he said as they started driving back. As Dean drove, she looked at her wrist.
"He gave me that..." she said, looking at the black leather around her wrist... I should have given it back to him," she said, as she started to take it off, but stopped. She hated looking at her mistake.
Dean pulled of to the side of the road. He took Lizzy's hand in his and carefully unstrapped the leather from around her wrist. He looked at the scar. Ellen had done a fantastic job of fixing her up. He could barely see the scar. "Liz, there's barely anything there. I wouldn't know what I was looking at if I didn't know ahead of time." He brought her wrist to his lips and kissed it. "When did he get so good at manipulation? If you want to cover it up I'll have something special made for you."
Dean paused. He hated having to ask but he needed to know. "Liz... the money we had in the bank... for Abbs and Mikey... Sam didn't touch it... did he?"
She shook her head. "I never touched it. That was theirs, not ours... I mean.. mine or Sam's," she corrected. She looked at Dean sadly. "I maybe a bad mother... but I'm not THAT bad," she said. The she looked at the dashboard. "We hadn't been... together for long, you know... a few weeks. If I just held out a little longer..." she said softly.
"If I was worried about you taking their money I would have said so. But after seeing Sam try to manipulate you into staying with him and not going back to the kids... I wouldn't put it past him to have tried," Dean said pulling back onto the road and heading toward South Dakota.
Lizzy was quite most of the trip. Ether silently looking out the window or sleeping the trip away. When they got there, she just sat in the car, unmoving. She was scared.
Dean opened the car door, grinning at the familiar squeak. "Come on. You gotta face them sooner or later."
She nodded before getting out of the car. She looked at the place she called home not just 3 months ago. They walked up to the door and Dean knocked on it. She wasn't sure the reception she was going to get.
"Breathe, Liz," Dean said. "It's going to take some time but it's going to be alright." The door opened and Dean smiled at Ellen. "Sorry. I took off with out a key."
Ellen looked between Lizzy and Dean.
"It's about damn time you got your ass back here," Ellen said, letting the two of them in. They took about 2 steps in when Abby came into the room to see what was up. She looked at Lizzy and Lizzy looked at her.
"You've gotten so big, sweetie," Lizzy said with a smile. Abby just turned, and went upstairs.
"Abigail Mary Winchester, come back here right now," Dean said loudly.
Abby just ignored him, heading to her room.
Lizzy looked devastated at that. "I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but that hurt more then I imagined,"
"What do you expect? You left her for 3 months. You for 4," Ellen said pointing to Dean now. "It's going to take her a while to warm up to you, Lizzy. And mind you, Dean," Ellen said. "Abigail you get your scrawny butt down here now!" Ellen barked.
"I don't want too," Abby yelled back.
Dean went up to Abby's room and knocked on the open door. "Cupcake, can I come in?"
Abby opened the door and glared at her father, a look that she inherited from her mother. "Why did you bring HER back?" Abby asked.
"I'm sorry, baby," He sat on the floor and pulled the little girl into his lap. "I'm sorry that Daddy and Mommy went away. Some bad things happened to Daddy and I couldn't get away. All I wanted was to come home to you. But the bad people wouldn't let me. I wanted to come home so badly and just hold you in my arms for hours.
"And Mommy... well Mommy got sick. And she had to go away to get better. She should have been home a long time ago but someone was lying to her and keeping her away. I brought her here because she belongs here, with us, with our family."
"Was it Uncle Sam?" she asked. "He scares me. I told Mom not to go with him but she left anyway," she said, half sniffling now.
"Yeah it was, Cupcake. He scared me too. What scares you? When did it start?" he asked her holding her tightly to him. He didn't realize that he had started to rock his body gently, or that Lizzy was standing at the top of the stairs watching and listening.
"When he came back. He... felt... Different. Wrong. He felt... evil," Abby admitted.
"I'm so sorry, Cupcake. I'm going to work extra hard to make sure that I never have to go away like that again." He kissed the top of her head. He could feel him self shake as he held in the sobs and held back the tears. He'd missed his little girl so much. "I love you, Abby. I just want to make sure you know that."
"I love you too Daddy," Abby said, curling up closer to him. "I missed you so much, but I'm glad you came back. Everyone told me you wouldn't but I knew you would," she said.
Lizzy just sat on the top step of the stairs watching the two, tears within her own eyes. She couldn't believe how much she missed her little girl, he son, and her husband. How could she be talked in to staying away as long as she did?
"What do you mean, Cupcake? How could you have known?" Dean asked. He smiled as he felt her snuggle into his arms.
"I had faith that you wouldn't leave me," she said with a big smile.
Dean smiled. "That's my girl." Dean said squeezing her again. After a few moments of just holding her Dean had a thought. "Cupcake. Daddy has a strange mark, like a burn, on my shoulder. Mommy said she felt something odd when she touched it. Do you think you could tell me what you feel?"
"Ahh, I would rather you not," Lizzy said, announcing she was there. Abby looked at her mother, then her father.
"Of course I will, Daddy." Abby said
Dean glanced back at Lizzy. "Why not? What are you afraid of?" Dean asked her.
"I'm trained, Dean. Even more in the past few months. I've been hunting.. a lot. I've gotten really good control over it and yet it was so strong. It almost overwhelmed me. I don't want her hurt," Lizzy said.
"And who trained you? Sam? Some how I wouldn't trust that right now," he said.
Lizzy huffed at that. "No jerk, it's called on the job training. I taught myself," she said before getting up walking downstairs. She wasn't going to be apart of this.
Abby looked from Mother to Father.
"You don't have to if you don't want to. Have Grandpa Bobby and Grandma Ellen been helping you?" Dean asked.
"Not really but I will try," she said.
"Ok, sweetie." Dean said he rolled up his sleeve so she could see it. "And hey, tomorrow how about I take you into town and we get you a new charm for your bracelet?"
She nodded, looking at the mark. "That is weird. It's a hand," she said she closed her eyes, contracting. She went to place her hand on the mark before she went tense for a moment, before she passed out. She was only out for a moment or so before Dean saw her eyes flutter open.
"Thank God," he whispered. "Cupcake, are you alright?" She shook her head.
"Daddy, whatever it is... it's powerful," she said. "It scares me."
"I know, baby. It scares me too. I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you to do that." Dean said rolling his sleeve down and hugging his daughter.
"I'm tired. Can I go lay down now?" Abby asked.
"Of course, Cupcake." Dean tucked her into bed and then kissed her forehead. "Daddy's going to be outside. Okay?" Abby nodded and Dean left the room.
A/N: I always think we write Sam a bit OOC here, but hey, we can all just blame it on the Demon blood :P
