A/N: Okay, so if you did see Let's Kill Hitler - who laughed and loved it? I certainly did! For those who are still waiting - you're in for a treat!
Also, if any of my readers are in the Hurricane Irene area - my thoughts are with you! Stay safe, my lovelies.
Some of you have been asking where I got the idea for this from. I knew I wanted to write a DW story, but if I'm honest, the characters just literally walked into my head and demanded their story be told. Being an enthusiastic writer (I write non-fanfic in my spare time), how could I resist? I wrote the preface, and it all just spilled out from there. The events even take me by surprise, sometimes xD I've grown to love it. I hope you love it too :) If you have any questions about it, don't hesitate to ask!
I'm considering a sequel for this, fyi. I've had a few enthusiastic yeses, so what are your thoughts? :)
Simpa007 - how very horrible, yup.
MandaPanda89 - very gracious of you :P
blackcat711 - does the above help? :)
Jo Brookes - Twisty twisty yep. It's about to get even more insane-erer :P
BeatnikFreak - Mindfuck indeed :D I LOVE SUSPIAN! xD
2xLove - hurray! :D
padmay97 - no, no, no, no. All too human, sorry xD
Snowy702 - can we do Tuesday? I'm busy tomorrow :P
Ourania-Annais - indeedy. good luck with your exams, my dear! :)
Mrs 11th - because he thinks it's best :P
Tsukiko13 - It really was, wasnt it? Loved Rory in it!
Wow, apologies for the super-long intro. I hope this makes up for it!
Not a minute had passed after Deorsa and Ondine had departed when Jack and River skidded into the room, their faces ashen.
"Tell me I didn't just see who I thought I saw," Jack said, shocked.
The Doctor did not look at them. "It was him, Jack, yes."
"What did he want? Where's Ondine?"
There was a horrible, pregnant silence.
Slowly, he turned around, and River went white at the expression he wore.
"You didn't," she whispered, dreading his answer yet already knowing it.
He glanced away, uneasy.
"I did. There was no other way, River, I had to."
"You let him take her?" Jack said in pure disbelief. The Doctor fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"I did."
The anger which he was so prone to these days was bubbling within him; did they not understand? Did they not realise how close he was to snapping? Again?
"Why?"
Too late.
"Because I had to!" he shouted. "I had to, Jack Harkness! If she's around, I couldn't save her if she stayed, because if she knew, Deorsa knew! He's in her head every second of every day! I couldn't risk it, and the only safe place for her was a TARDIS. So he took her. Are you happy now?"
"Of course, there is one vital thing you forgot, Doctor," Deorsa said lazily, leaning in the doorway. They all jumped at the sound of his voice, and the Doctor's eyes narrowed as they fixed upon his enemy.
"And what would that be, Deorsa?"
"I will still know what you're planning. You see, Ondine's not the only one with a psychic link to me. Isn't that right, Ms Song?"
Absolute silence fell, and three pairs of eyes swivelled to River. She stared back, only slightly abashed.
"And I'll leave you to ponder that," Deorsa said slyly. "Till then."
He left the room, and one confused man and one very angry Time Lord looked at her.
The Doctor's eyes flickered, and he took a step forward.
"River, you tell me. And you tell me now. Who are you?" the Doctor asked quietly. She backed away, but Jack caught her arm.
His eyes were pleading.
"I can't," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."
"Please," he begged. "Who are you? Why do you know Deorsa, River? Just tell me. Please."
It broke her to refuse, and she moved back from him, her mouth trembling.
"No."
She turned, and with tears in her eyes, she fled.
Jack stared at the Doctor.
"We can't trust her, Jack," the Doctor murmured. His eyes were icy. "Understand that. I know you love her. I know this is difficult –"
"Did you know?"
His eyebrow rose. "I'm sorry?"
"River. Did you know you couldn't trust her?" Jack's scrutiny was cold. The Doctor gazed back calmly.
"I suspected."
Jack made a noise of disgust.
"Do you trust anyone?"
"I do."
"Oh, and who would that be?" Sarcasm lay heavy on the immortal's tongue, but the Doctor answered calmly.
"Ondine. No-one else."
Jack's eyebrows shot into his hairline. "You don't trust me."
"I can't. You're emotionally tied to River –"
"Oh, you're a bastard," Jack cut in, his tone bitter. "No wonder the Master hated you. You're worse than he was."
The Doctor's expression darkened. "That's enough, Jack."
Jack laughed grimly.
"No, it's never enough. When have I ever doubted you? When have I ever given you a reason to not trust me? Huh? And you stand there, cold as anything, telling me that I'm not one you have faith in! That's why you end up alone, Doctor. You don't trust anyone completely. You didn't even trust Rose with your secrets – and look where that got you!"
Perhaps it was the mention of his former love, or the fact that Jack thought him worse than his nemesis, but the Doctor began to crack. He moved closer to Jack, eyeing him carefully.
"This is why I don't trust, Jack. Everyone that I do have faith in either ends up broken, dead – or they stab me in the back. In this case, it's the latter. Do you know how terrible it is? I loved Rose, but I let her go before I completely destroyed her. It will always happen, whoever it is. I don't trust you now, Jack, no – the reason being the minute I do, you will wind up damaged. I've already ruined your biological clock; there are still a million other things of yours I could devastate. And I do not want that for you. I don't want everyone I care for to be as screwed up as I am. Can't you understand that? Can't you, Harkness?"
Jack was speechless; a rare occurrence. The Doctor, having said all he needed to, turned away from him and went from the room.
He mentally scolded himself for lashing out at Jack – one of his few honest friends – but he knew that he needed him to focus.
"Love makes fools of us all," he muttered. "And I'm the biggest one of all."
Love is not to be admonished, Doctor. Remember that.
His eyes widened.
Where are you? How are you –
Patience, dear. You'll find me soon enough. Don't worry. In the meantime… do not lose your ability to trust. You have a lot to learn of trust, Doctor. Do not let Deorsa take it from you.
He felt warmth brush at his mind, and he clung to it with everything he had.
Don't go, he whispered. Please. I need your help.
Oh, my love, she hummed gently. You've never needed me less. It's Ondine you need now.
I sent her away. For her safety.
Regret rolled through him, regret that did not belong to him.
Oh, Doctor. You sent her into the opposite. You sent her right into peril.
His hearts froze.
What did you say?
A pause, and then the TARDIS spoke the facts that he'd never known, the words that threatened to stop his hearts entirely.
You gave her to the creature born during the Last Great Time War, Doctor. The entity that swallowed Davros, the being which destroyed so many worlds.
Oh, Doctor.
You sent her into the jaws of the Nightmare Child.
A/N: Yup, yeah... he fucked up. Royally. I assume you've all heard of the Nightmare Child, being the Whovians you all are. If not - 10th mentioned it before once. How could I resist? ;)
I have a fic to recommend this week as well - Set The Fire To The Third Bar by BeatnikFreak. It's a Narnia fic which is FULL OF SUSPIAN. AKA Susan/Caspian. It's deliciously M-rated, and so excellent to read and re-read. Trust me, you'll love it. Enjoy, my lovelies!
Lightning xoxo
