Chapter 51: And The Day From Hell Continues
Fathis led me to one of the beautiful Inns that dotted the town and got a suite so I could bathe before making the trip back.
As I scrubbed the filth of Crowhaven off me, my mind churned over everything that happened today after leaving that stinking place…peppered with memories of Gils and I together. Afterwards I propped my head against the rounded back of the tub and lay there, just thinking.
Quiet tears made erratic paths through the fur of my cheeks; my throat strangled back the sounds that would have accompanied them. I must have been there quite a while…I wished I could have laid in there till my heart was reconciled to the loss of Gils, but Fathis tapped on the door.
"Ma'Thjizzrini Qa, are you ill?" Fathis called in.
"I'm just tired Fathis…today didn't go well till you arrived. I'm just…soaking." I sat up and splashed some of the water over my cheeks, wiping away the streaks left by tears.
"You shattered the Orc's jaw with one punch Fathis, should I look for your challenge in the Arena?"
"No worries." Fathis called in, laughing.
"But you used fists, and street moves. When did you start practicing hand-to-hand?" I called, stepping out of the tub.
"Alix has been teaching me."
"He has? Alix was in town?" I shot into the room with Fathis.
"Ma'Thjizzrini Qa…you're naked!" Fathis quickly turned his back toward me.
In the Bloodworks it was common at any given time to see someone nude or in various stages of undress. I had become used to not even thinking about it. Fathis's shock brought the sudden realization that what was acceptable in the Bloodworks would not be understood outside of it. It may even make him angry to know I'd been thus in front of the men in there, or that I saw them naked as well.
I flushed in embarrassment. "I didn't want to put the smelly armor back on when I'm clean. I'll get a towel."
"Don't you have a change in your pack?"
"No."
"I saw a nice glass armor in the window at the Peacemakers shop. It was a pretty green shade that would go well with your coloring. I'll run across the street and get it…" Fathis started toward the door, keeping his eyes averted.
"Wait, I want to hear about Alix. I haven't heard from him since graduation. Let me just cover up." I hurried to the bathing room and grabbed the largest towel, wrapping it around me.
"He and S'Jirra were both coming to see you, but you left town. They were taking care of the Orc first so you would be safe. Let me tell you about the chain Alix ran on that cretin after he hurt your shoulder…" Fathis called from the other room.
He averted his eyes when he saw me, but continued talking. I plopped down beside him, making sure the towel stayed closed.
The towel covered me well, there was nothing to see except legs, arms, and my neck. Fathis's prudishness was at odds with his reputation, did the thousands of women he bedded keep their clothing on in the act? They couldn't if they wore greaves or pants, surely some wore these.
Did he only mate in the dark? A vision of Fathis snuffing candles while a woman waited on his bed crossed my mind…no. I listened to every scrap of gossip about Fathis, it would have come to my ears by now if he behaved thus in the act of romance.
With a sinking feeling another thought struck me. Could it be because I was Khajiit? Fathis had never bedded Khajiit before…was it possible he found the fur offensive?
As he detailed the people who helped run the chain, my thoughts stayed distracted by his averted face…and wondering what Gils was doing.
"Do you regret the promise between us, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa?" Fathis interrupted my reverie, watching my face closely.
"If we are together, no. But you broke with me over the armor and never contacted me since. I didn't think you were ever coming back, and felt…unforgiven, left on a shelf like an unwanted toy. Time waiting alone palls quickly. Then I regret promises."
"Ma'Thjizzrini Qa, we need to settle this. I planned waiting till you were older, but now I think it best to announce you publicly as my intended as soon as you turn eighteen."
"You mean it? And we'll be together like we were before graduation?" I squealed, wrapping both arms around his neck and squeezing him nearly to death.
"Now that's my Ma'Thjizzrini Qa!" Fathis laughed, caressing my cheek gently like he used to at the Arcane. His eyes were not passionate or intense like Gils', but they clearly held love for me.
If Gils had escorted me home he would have been charming and romantic, we would probably be together again by now. He is like a drug in my system, a weakness that binds me to his side through anything. Even now the fire in Gils' eyes burns into my memory evoking thoughts of him while I am here with Fathis.
The promise to Fathis could have been called in anytime, how much more painful it would have been if I hadn't realized Gils was a mistake beforehand…that would help me forget him. Still…this was tearing me inside, I was in too deep.
Having to live broken from Gils in the Bloodworks…that will be my downfall. Unless Fathis removes me, there is only one way to guarantee I never again fall for Gils' charms in a moment of weakness. Fathis would have to start me. If I was bound to him, it should seal all those feelings onto Fathis.
"Fathis…er…I need to discuss something…uh…important. Er…the blue show…it drives Khajiit powerfully inside…er…uh…to mate. It really drives us quite mad till we are…uh…er…started. When a man starts us, we become bound to him for life. It keeps us faithful to him forever. Er…uh…can you…er…will you…start me now? Seal it between us so there can never be another?"
"How does a man start you?"
"You just have to…uh…er…bring arousal. Just squeezing my tail like this works." I showed him then turned my back to him and waved my tail in his face.
"Ma'Thjizzrini Qa, you don't understand how it works. A man isn't built for starting and stopping, just doing. You will be eighteen soon, legal age. We can't be kissing and touching before then."
"You don't have to stop, Fathis. It was saved for you, is yours to have whenever you wish. Just please make me bound to you, it is a lifelong commitment that I will belong to you and no one else. I'll feel better…er…you'll feel better knowing…"
His eyes showed a negative response was imminent, I broke in before he could speak it.
"Fathis, the Legion didn't even know I was Khajiit when they found me. They just guessed at my age. Hannibal is sure I'm older, he said the blue show only appears at twenty years old. The legal documents can be appealed. Look, we are behind walls and doors." I pointed.
"No one knows what we do in here. When the flag is blue, men know I'm untouched. They try to be the one to take it from me. When you start me the flag turns purple. Men will know I'm bound to someone and they'll leave me alone."
That caught his attention.
"Fathis, we are together in this place that breathes romance…I've never seen such a view. The scent of the sea and sand…everything here is white like me, even the horses. No one knows us here…it would mean everything to me for it to be here in such a place…please?"
Fathis kissed me then.
Dunmer men are sought for their expertise, but until they marry rarely find a partner that pleases them. After marriage they can teach only their first wife the sacred Dunmer mysteries - the secret tricks to pleasing and keeping the men faithful to the marriage.
It is rigidly adhered to, bringing severe consequences to any man who breaks tenets. That law keeps polygamy and divorce out of their culture.
Gils taught them to me because we swore marriage vows together. I've never claimed to be the brightest, but to be honest it never occurred to me to pretend I was ignorant of them when I kissed Fathis. He is a Dunmer after all.
Not having kissed any but Gils before, I didn't know there would be differences. There was. I suddenly was faced with what it felt like to be with someone really experienced and why Fathis got chased by women all the time. He had all the skilled moves of a courtesan, a maestro directing an orchestra of sensations.
Oddly, for it felt so good…I found only minute passion building in me. My body fought arousal for some reason…Oh dear gods! Could I have been started already by Gils?
And then I noticed Fathis was having little response as well. The kiss I gave him was a full passionate kiss designed to bring Dunmer arousal to its peak. It wasn't working on Fathis. I tried several different mysteries…still no response.
An unsettling feeling came over me as it had earlier when he averted his face. Could his lack of passion be because I am Khajiit? He couldn't have earned his reputation without arousal…does he think me less than all those human women he bedded? I felt an involuntary flicker of anger at the thought. What other explanation could there be?
Suffocating those thoughts, I doubled my efforts and tried every single trick Gils taught me to evoke the passion from Fathis even one of them would have brought out in Gils. I finally got a response, but not the one I was looking for. Fathis was in a rage. The only desire reflected in his eyes was to see Gils' lifeless body
"Should I have waited to see what else you've learned? If I see that Dunmer I will kill him! I know it is him, don't deny to me, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa!" Fathis jumped up, his eyes boring into mine while he buckled his sword on.
My nerves were rapidly shattering. Tears crowded my eyes and began spilling out in a flood as a terrible fear gripped me. Fathis didn't make idle threats, he would kill Gils.
"What are you doing, Fathis? Are you leaving me?"
"Nae, I will escort you, and we will seek your lover on the way. He has taken from me what was mine, and broken Dunmer tenets. You will see him die before he does either again, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa."
"Fathis, that which I held for you still waits. None have been before you with it. You ended it with me and never returned to tell me different, how would I know our commitment to be valid still? Yet I remained intact, this is not enough for you? My lips are in the same place they've always been, they were not hard to find if you sought to be the first to kiss them."
"You are under legal age, I awaited your eighteenth birthday as any decent man would." He emphasized the word 'decent'.
He paced to the end of the room and was looking out the window. Dear gods don't let Gils be out there…
"Nature made those documents invalid with the blue flag, Fathis. And age wouldn't keep you from sending me word that you still cared."
Fathis turned his head slightly my direction, was he listening?
"The proof awaits you and I begged you to take it, Fathis. If anger is the only passion I can arouse in you then withdraw your suit and find someone who fuels your desire. I'm obviously not experienced enough, or maybe not human enough to do that. Or will some magic happen when I turn eighteen that you will suddenly feel what you could not here today?"
Fathis spun around, staring hard at me. His molten eyes were raw with rage and…pain?
"Human! You think that of me? Aye Ma'Thjizzrini Qa. I could have taken you twenty times off just one of those mysteries. The desire is there, but knowing another taught them to you will eat through me till I kill him for it. You see the pain you've caused me in my eyes, you know it."
"Fathis, you broke with me. It was over between us. I have a blue flag on my forehead that tells everyone I am ready and up for grabs. It drives needs in me that you know of and ignored. If something is important to you, do you not watch over and protect it? You don't abandon and ignore what you care for, expecting no one will steal it."
Fathis looked like he had run into a brick wall. He came slowly over and sat beside me, then took my hand.
"Aye, Ma'Thjizzrini Qa. Traven and your father both said as much, many times. We need to forget what is past and make a fresh start together. I'll give you no more cause to seek attention from others. Will you end it with the Dunmer then?"
"I already have."
