Jared's POV

I love the feel of Sofia's body.

I don't mean that in a sleazy way, I just like when our bodies touch. It doesn't have to be a big touch, a simple graze of our arms or holding her hand in mine. She just seems to fit with me, and I with her.

It was unbelievable. That someone as beautiful and perfect as Sofia would be with someone like me. She was superior to me in just about every way, smarter, funnier, sweeter and prettier. It wasn't that I had a bad self image, I knew who I was; I just knew that Sofia was better, even if she couldn't see it.

She was leaning against me, as we sat on the floor of her room at the Clearwaters'. My arm around her shoulders and her head rested on my chest. She'd just tried astral projection again and she was exhausted. It always took it out of her when she did it and it killed me that I couldn't help her with it.

It also scared me, because no one really knew what was happening or what should happen. She had to lie down when she did it because as her spirit left her body, her body became limp. I didn't want her knocking herself out in case that impacted her getting back into her body. I was terrified that she'd get stuck in the spirit world and I had no way of knowing whether she had or not, until she came out of her trance.

Old Quil, Sam and I had made sure to tell her that she didn't need to push herself any more. Now that we knew she could do it, we were happy to let her get there slowly. Sofia didn't like that. She wanted to learn how to do it properly and, now that she was part way there, she didn't want to stop until she could do it perfectly.

She was definitely getting better. It took her a few minutes to drop into a trance and a few more to get to the point where her spirit was inching out of her body. After ten minutes looking like she'd fallen asleep, she'd tear herself from the spell and collapse into my arms. The first time it had taken more than half an hour.

I was scared but I was proud.

Paul wasn't too happy with me either. He'd been concerned when he heard Sam and I thinking about what happened that first time she'd done it and he was not happy about how she'd reacted. When he saw her come out of another attempt about a week ago, he'd just about lost it. Sam had to remove him from the house before he phased and attacked me. He calmed down quickly enough but he had been angrier than he had for a long time.

Maybe he was right though. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I hated seeing Sofia in pain and I wanted to free her from it, but despite the pain she kept going back. She said that it wasn't getting better but she believed that it hurt because she was half way between the two worlds, between the physical and spirit worlds. Old Quil said she may have a point but he believed that in time it would get better. I hated that it hurt her and wished I'd never suggested it.

But Sofia was determined and she kept telling me that she wanted to do it. I believed her but I feared she thought I was more interested in her spirit walking than being happy, and that she was putting herself through this pain purely because she thought I wanted her to.

"You know you don't have to do this. I'm glad you've tried but..." I said, looking down at her relaxing form, "I don't like to see you hurting and I just want you to know that you don't need to keep going if you don't want to."

She turned to look up at me, "I know that and I want to do this."

I rubbed my finger gently on her bare arm, "But it hurts you."

"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger." she sighed.

I loved her attitude towards this, even though I was concerned for her. She may not be the most confident and proactive person but once she starts something she always sees it through. This mentality scared me a little too because I was afraid she would push herself too hard, in her attempt to spirit walk properly.

"It's been a month and it hasn't gotten better. Maybe you should take a break."

She shook her head, "If I take a break then I may never try again."

She nestled her head into my chest and I got a whiff of her coconut shampoo. She smelt so good. I kissed her hair and breathed in her scent. I felt kind of stalker-ish, sniffing her hair, I knew she didn't mind but it didn't stop a small part of me from feeling strange doing it. But it smelt too good to resist.

I knew Sam felt the same way, only he felt it about Emily. He was besotted with Emily and often did things that he used to think were creepy, like smelling her hair and watching her sleep. I used to think he was weird for doing it, that he was more stalker than lover. I now realised how innocent and non-stalker it was, even if no-one else could.

The thought of ever being without her frightened me. I couldn't imagine not being able to do this; I didn't want to imagine it. In 53 days she would be getting on another plane headed back to Australia. I wanted to go with her but Sofia thought I was needed here; Sam hadn't yet made a ruling as to my necessity.

Sofia wanted a chance to talk to her parents about me, because she'd admitted that she wasn't sure if she could handle a month without me. She was nervous about telling them because they believed that 'teenage romances' weren't reliable. Apparently Sofia's sister, Samantha, was in love with a 'wanker' and so her parents were even more against serious teenage relationships at the moment, than usual.

She had also pointed out that she wouldn't be able to study if I was there. It'd been almost impossible to pry ourselves away from each other just after the school year had ended. You would have thought we were stuck together with superglue. And that was how we liked it. We always wanted to be together and, nowadays, I spent more time with Sofia than I did with my own parents.

"Anyway," Sofia mumbled, tearing me from my thoughts, "it's better than the first time. I'm quicker and it's not quite as loud anymore."

I sighed, "But it still feels like you've been dropped into a pot of boiling water. I don't like that."

She pulled away from me and turned so that we were facing each other, "If I wanted to shave my head, would you let me?" I nodded, I couldn't imagine her without her beautiful hair but I wouldn't stop her if she really wanted to do it, "And if I wanted a tattoo; would you stop me?" I shook my head, I didn't want her to mark any part of her body with something like a tattoo but if it made her happy, I wouldn't stop her, "Well, this is far more important than either of those two things, so it should be more painful. The pain will fade but I can't get another chance to learn this."

Her lips curled into a sweet smile and I pulled her back to me, kissing her gently.

"Okay, but you know that you can stop at any time?" I asked with as stern a voice as I could possibly use on her.

She smiled and all my fears subsided, "Of course."

She settled back down beside me, just as she had been before my anxiety fit. She felt so good snuggled into my side, like she was the only one that would ever fit there. I was designed for her body and her body alone. No matter her weight, which I knew she still worried about, only she could fit so nicely against my body.

Thinking of her body and astral projection got me thinking of something else. Something more important and potentially more immediate, I had to ask her about it. But how? I didn't want to sound like I was intruding or that I was some sort of freak.

I decided that Sofia would know me better than to assume that I was being a creep, "Have you had your period?"

"What?" She had no idea what I was getting at, her confusion was written all over her face as she manoeuvred to look up at me while keeping our bodies close together.

"Well, about a month ago we forgot to... you know..." for some reason it was hard to actually say it, I felt like I was thirteen and in a sex education class, "use the appropriate protection."

I must have sounded like a fucking fool. Like a child. Why was it so hard to say condom in front of her? I could say just about anything else, cock, vagina, whatever it was I could say it. I just couldn't say condom. I'd said it before, but not now. Why not now? I have no idea. I must look like an idiot.

She raised her eyebrows at me and I could tell that she was thinking I sounded stupid, "Condom? We didn't use a condom. I know that but..." She seemed to be thinking about something but shook her head to continue, "I'm not pregnant, if that's what you're asking."

That didn't make me feel as relieved as I thought it would.

I had first thought about it a few hours after the event but Sofia was fast asleep by then. I'd remembered that I needed to ask about it a few dozen times since then but never when I was around Sofia, or never when it was just us, there was one time in front of Sue but I didn't want her knowing that we'd been so careless. Paul had threatened to deck me when I accidentally thought about it while on patrol once, he didn't like any mention of sex with Sofia. Sometimes his brotherly affections were terribly annoying.

At those times I thought about how awkward it would be for Sofia to return to Australia, three months pregnant. I thought about how hard it would be for her to be a teenage mom, she hated when people stared at her and the weight gain probably wouldn't help her much. Then telling her father, whose wish in life was for his daughters to all go to college before they were 'weighed down with responsibilities'.

It came out before I could stop it, "If I asked, would you marry me?"

I had been thinking about it a lot for the last week. Bella's wedding was tomorrow and it was on everyone's mind. Jacob was coming back for it, we expected him back tonight, and it was something that was on his mind. Therefore it was on everyone's.

Maybe I should have thought it through a bit better because Sofia was staring at me like I had officially lost the plot. I hadn't meant it to be that blunt but I had to know. I suspected the answer would be yes, all the others said that it would almost definitely be yes. Even Leah. But until Sofia said the answer was yes than I couldn't rest.

I knew she loved me but that didn't mean she'd say yes. Maybe she wanted a less conventional relationship, maybe she didn't want to wear a white dress and have everyone watch her. Maybe she was happy calling me her boyfriend and didn't want me to be her husband. I wanted to be her husband, one day.

She sighed, "If you were to ask today, then... don't ask today, please, don't ask."

"No, no, no. I didn't mean today, I meant... in a year, or two, or ten." To say that I was starting to panic was an understatement. My head latched onto the idea that she didn't want to marry me and I didn't like that. The second Sam mentioned marriage to Emily, she had jumped at the idea; it hurt a little that Sofia wasn't the same.

"I love you, Jared. I really do... I just... we're only teenagers; marriage is not a thing for teenagers." I could hear fear in her words; fear that she was upsetting me.

I cupped her cheek in my hand, "It's okay. I'm not looking to ask you any time soon."

This didn't seem to appease her and I wanted to kick myself for even mentioning it. I could see that old tornado swirling in her eyes, I hadn't seen it in a while but I could see it now. I had come to realise what it meant. She was blaming herself, most likely she thought that she had hurt me and now the thoughts were building.

I had to stop them.

My hand slid from her cheek to the back of her neck and I pulled her towards me. Her lips were so soft and smooth and she tasted like butterscotch, she had been eating it before she tried to astral project again. I loved kissing Sofia, it just felt so right. I would do it every day for eternity if that was an option.

Sofia pulled away and I let out a soft whine, "It's semantics."

"What's semantics?" I sighed as I tried to pull her back to me. She complied for the most part but refused to kiss me again.

She gave me a small smile, "If we were twenty and you asked... I'd say yes."

I couldn't contain my happiness at hearing that. I launched myself forward, catching her lips in my mouth without giving her a chance to pull away. She had as good as promised to marry me, we may as well be engaged. Okay, so that may be a little bit of an exaggeration but I was good with that.

There would never be anyone but her, because no one will ever compare. No one can do to me what she can. All she has to do is look at me and I would throw myself under a bus for her, under a train. If she asked me to, I would swim the long way from here to Australia. I would do anything werewolf-ly possible to be the one that she wanted to sit with. The one she wanted to lie with.

Her back rested on the carpet, her legs were wrapped around my waist. I could feel the warmth of her core and felt myself twitch. It only ever took moments for her to get me at full mast and she didn't even really need to do anything.

I loved making love to her. I loved having sex with her. I loved fucking her.

It didn't sound romantic or sweet to call it that but that was how I felt. To be inside her and know that only I could turn her to putty and make her want to scream. It didn't matter how sensual or how rough, we knew each other better than we knew ourselves, we would get there every time.

I love the feel of Sofia's body.