AUTHOR'S NOTE:

All right I changed a bunch of this just so that I could have it so that I was making my point with Lana's and Dean's relationship.

That memory of Lana's is important, and I hope you like this.

WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.

ENJOY!

xxxx

I smoothed down the white dress and I looked in the mirror and smiled—it looked good even though it was kind of morbid. Honestly, yes it was feminine and it was beautiful, but it was the dress I had been buried in. Still, it was the only really feminine thing that I had packed—well the only dress, I had a few blouses.

"Wow." Dean said, coming over to me as I looked in the bathroom mirror. "You look very…feminine today."

I nodded slowly. "All that orange was taking a toll on me, and I figured that I may never wear this dress again so why not wear it now while we do some research?"

Dean came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling his nose into my hair. He kissed my head and rested his hands on my stomach, me resting my hands on his and smiling, leaning back into him. I closed my eyes a moment and took the moment in as he rested his chin in the nape of my shoulder, and then he kissed my cheek.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and opened up my eyes. "I'm good, I just…I'm pregnant again and Sam and Kate have a this budding romance thing happening but they never have enough time alone."

"You shouldn't worry about Kate and Sammy." Dean told me, and he stroked my hair when I turned around in his arms to look at him. "They're on a lunch date right now. I was supposed to keep it a secret until she told you, but I'm all annoyed that you didn't tell me that it was your birthday today."

"Who told you?" I asked him, my mouth agape.

Dean gave me a look. "Well not you."

I nodded and sighed, biting my lip as Dean stroked my hair and kissed my forehead, pulling back and looking me in the eye. He wanted an explanation and I wanted to give it to him, but I kind of felt like I was feeling all sorry for myself. At the same time, I had every reason not to want to celebrate my birthday no matter how many years ago it all happened…no matter who I had lost.

"You're 23 now, Lanni. It's a big deal." Dean said, kissing me swiftly.

"Not really." I told him. "I've been getting older and older for 23 years. It's just one more year."

Dean kissed me again. "I think it's a big deal."

I returned the kiss and then made a face when he pulled away and left the bathroom. I followed him out there and looked at him, putting my hands on my hips and laughing a little bit. What in the world was going on here? Did he have something planned for my birthday? Was that it?

"Baby, what's up?" I asked, loving that he was being sweet, but why was he being so sweet?

"I think it's about time we left." Dean told me and smiled as he looked at me. "You look perfect."

I looked down at my white dress and then back up at Dean. "What? You want me to wear a dress? And wait a minute—we're on the run. Why—I'm so lost."

I slumped down onto the bed and put my face in my hands, flopping back onto it and smiling when I felt the weight shift. Dean laid on his side next to me and propped his head up on his hand, using his other one to rest on my stomach. He kissed me softly and then pulled back, looking at me as I looked at him.

"Look, I just have this big plan, okay?" Dean told me. "Now let me change into nicer clothes, and you put some shoes on and grab a coat."

"You don't have to celebrate my birthday, Dean, really." I said, stroking his cheek and running my thumb along his bottom lip. "Unfortunately, this day also happens to be the anniversary of the fire that killed my parents."

Dean stroked me hair. "So that's why you don't like celebrating your birthday."

"Yeah, that's why." I admitted.

Dean kissed me and I returned it until he pulled away and nuzzled his nose against mine. Then he leaned down and he kissed my stomach which made me feel more wonderful than I could even describe. He smiled at me and then got off of the bed and he looked at me, smiling at me and then pointing at me.

"I promise that today will be unforgettable, okay?" Dean promised me.

I just nodded, smiling a bit because he was just too cute when he was excited and I liked that he was in a good mood. He seemed so calm and happy, and I hadn't seen him like that in a while. I grabbed some shoes and I ran my fingers through my hair, looking in the mirror and shrugging. What he was going to surprise me with I'd love because it was from him, but at the same time, it couldn't be too big because we were on the run.

"Wow." I said, looking up and seeing him wearing a suit. "When you said nicer, you definitely meant it."

Dean shrugged and smirked. "I guess."

I raised an eyebrow. "Where are you planning on taking me that we can actually be seen by people? We're both dressed pretty fancy."

Dean smiled at me. "It's a change of pace."

"Whatever you say." I told him, and went over to fix his tie, smiling a little and then kissing him gently. "Sure you don't want to just stay in?"

"Not today." Dean said, kissing me gently. "Tonight maybe."

I nodded, and took his hand, both of us getting into the Impala. At first I had no idea as to what was going on, but I smiled a little when we pulled up to a hospital. I wasn't really a fan of hospitals and I was dressed far too nicely for a visit to a hospital, but I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here.

"First order of business is hearing a heartbeat." Dean told me, grinning. "Out, out out."

I got out of the car laughing. "You know, you being romantic I could totally get used to so…be careful."

"Just come here." Dean said, rolling his eyes.

I laughed some more and we went in, Dean having apparently set up an appointment for me already. We sat in the waiting room until the nurse called us in and after changing into one of the gowns and letting Dean set my dress aside, the doctor came in and put the gel on my stomach. It was kind of cold, and I smiled when Dean held my hand, squeezing it when we heard the heartbeat—I was most definitely pregnant, and the look on Dean's face made it all worth it.

"It looks like you're about 6 weeks along." The doctor told us. "Congratulations. Now we should go over prenatal vitamins."

I nodded after Dean kissed me swiftly and I smiled at the doctor as we talked about some things. Once we were done talking to the doctor and I got dressed again, Dean and I getting a copy of the ultrasound for the baby scrapbook I was making, we got into the car and started driving again. I felt even more clueless to what was going on when Dean pulled up to a church and I turned to him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa—you don't go to church. You don't even like church." I told him.

He just smiled and got out of the car, opening my door for me and helping me out. When we went into the church, I saw Kate, Sam, Jen, Kevin and the girls, and smiled at them, glad to see them all. I wasn't sure what was going on, but everyone was here, and it was my birthday and I had heard my baby's heartbeat and I was happy.

"SURPRISE!" They all yelled and I smiled, hugging each of them rather fiercely, and then I turned to Dean and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Okay...did you plan this?" I asked happily.

Dean nodded with a smile on his face. "Yeah and I also have one more surprise for you that I think you'll really enjoy. Greg!"

A man dressed as a priest came out, and I started to get what was happening, my mouth gaping open a little. I even started to cry as Dean got down on one knee and pulled out a set of wedding bands, smiling up at me. There were absolutely no words here and I knew that after this big romantic blow-out I could expect not so much romance, but I could handle that…I really could just to be able to change my last name to his.

"Lanni…will you marry me? Right now?" He asked me.

I smiled and nodded quickly. "Of course I will, Dean."

xxxx

It turned out that Greg was one of John's old friends, and he was able to put mine and Dean's actual names on the legal papers. As of right now, I was officially Alana Rose Winchester. I'd just dropped the name Meckenzie and married the man I'd loved for almost two years now. Wow…Dean and I were married…I'd just married Dean Winchester…wow.

"Wow." I told Dean, kissing him again. "You outdid yourself today."

"I'm staying in a different tonight so you two can have a bit of a honeymoon." Sam informed me, and Jen smiled.

"Well, you've landed him." Jen said laughing. "I have to admit that I almost had a heart attack when Dean called and told me that he wanted to make your birthday special. I mean it wasn't that part—it was that special meant marrying you."

I smiled at her, and then I looked at the girls and they smiled at me, both of them excited enough to be near their Auntie Lana. To be honest I loved them to pieces and I was glad to be near them too because I missed them. They were so adorable and so innocent, and being around them made me want my own family…one Dean and I could now have.

"Uncle Dean has some romance in him yet, doesn't he?" I asked, picking Kaydence up. "Is that a smirk? Is that a smirk?"

I blew on her tummy Minah holding out her hands to be held too as Kaydence smiled and laughed a little, and Dean picked her up, smiling at her. Dean looked like he was actually enjoying Kaydence's company even though I knew kids were still kind of a thing for him. He liked them well enough and all, but settling down was still a new thing for him to wrap his head around but he was willing to try for me…I loved him for that.

Dean and I smiled at each other for a moment, knowing that things had just changed and yet things were still the same. He and his flirtatious nature I knew would stick, but I didn't have anything to worry about—he was mine, and I was his and we had the rings on our left ring fingers to prove it. I knew that at the end of the day, we were one now—truly and honestly one.

"Well, I'm starting to think that you two are thinking of starting the honeymoon already." Kevin joked, and I looked away from Dean and smiled at him.

"Who wouldn't?" I asked him with a smirk. "Dean's all cute and wonderfully endowed."

Kevin laughed a little. "I'm happy for you two—really."

"Paige is moving in with me." Jen told me, changing the subject. "What with Kevin traveling for his new job, I needed someone else to help me with the girls. Ryan has been pitching in a lot too, actually—as has Lance."

"Man, how are those three?" I asked her. "I haven't even tried to keep in touch."

Honestly, part of me felt bad about leaving Lance, Ryan and Paige in the dark, but the other part of me didn't care. I mean Lance was a good friend, and I considered Ryan and Paige friends and Paige was a hunter, but at the same time they just weren't in my life like Annie, Kate, Jen, Bobby and Kevin were. Bobby had me keep him in the loop on practically everything these days, and I appreciated his concern for my well-being.

Jen shrugged. "They're fabulous, but we should all prolly be getting back. Happy birthday, Lan. Oh—Lance sends his congrats, as do Ryan and Paige, but Lance really wanted you to know he's happy for you."

"Well tell him, 'thanks' then." I told her. "And of course tell Ryan and Paige that too since they sent their 'congratulations' too. I'm just glad that you, Kevin, and the girls got to come for this. I'm used to spending my birthday without you. I mean even with the boys, I've found a way to get them to have you either along, or to go back to Kansas without telling them what day it was."

"Yes, but now I'm going to remember your birthday." Dean told me, kissing my temple. "Besides…it's close to Mom's."

I was a little caught off guard that he had said that, but I nodded and kissed him swiftly before I turned to hug Jen long and hard. We ran our hands along each other's backs and squeezed, before I turned to Kevin and hugged him too. Then they took the girls and they left the church, leaving just Kate, Sam, Dean and I and I took a deep breath. It was just the four of us…and I was going to have to get used to that damn quick because I had a feeling it would always be the four of us.

"You two can still pull together some semblance of a honeymoon tonight." Kate told me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "I know it's not the same, Lanni…I know you wish that Mom, Kalli and Annie had been here, but you have us."

I smiled sadly at her. "Yeah…thank you for being here, Kate. Hey, though, don't let Dean and I kick you out on our account."

"Hey! Speak for yourself, Lanni." Dean told me, firmly holding his ground as I sent him a look. "I'm sleeping with my wife tonight and that's final."

"Its fine, Lanni, really—Sammy and I actually…have a real date planned for tonight." Kate said, a blush rising in her cheeks.

I looked at her a grinned, hugging her tightly and whispering to her that I was happy for her. She was just the most adorable thing ever with that look on her face—she really liked Sam and that was just all there was to it. Sam seemed to genuinely be interested in her too and so I hoped that they worked out. I really hoped that they worked out.

"Sam, you sly dog." Dean told him, elbowing him in the side playfully with a large grin on his face.

Sam gave Dean a look. "Oh get over it."

"If I'm going to get into the mood for some consummating, we should head to the hotel now." I said, trying to save Sam and Kate some of Dean's embarrassment.

"That sounds like the perfect idea." Dean agreed, grabbing my hand. "Let's go."

xxxx

I got up in the middle of the night and went into the bathroom, freaking out a little bit at what was happening to me. Instead of going to go and talk to Dean, Kate or Sam, I just snaked the keys and borrowed the Impala, driving to the hospital and checking myself in under the same name I'd used a couple of days ago with Dean. It probably wasn't the best idea in the world, but I did it anyway because I needed to talk to the doctor about what the Hell was going on.

"So, Mrs. Fields, you're bleeding?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly. "It looked like spotting at first, but I think there's too much blood. I've had a miscarriage before and I just…I really needed to make sure that this baby was all right."

"It says on your chart that you should be about 6 weeks along so we should just be able to check the baby with an ultrasound." She explained to me. "Also, I'd like to draw some blood and see if we can see if something else is the problem."

"All right." I told her, lying back and lifting my shirt up a little.

She smiled at me and she asked about my husband and I explained that this would be our first baby to come to term if it made it that far, and she and I both smiled when we heard the heartbeat. I was so relieved that the baby was all right, and once the gel was wiped off of my stomach, she drew some blood and left me in the room to take it to the lab. She said it would take a few hours since they had to open and she would call me about it and as I made it back out to the Impala, my phone rang—Dean.

"Hey, Baby." I told him calmly.

"Where are you?" Dean asked me without skipping a beat.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I jacked the Impala, I just—I really need to borrow it and I am on my way back to you, Sam and Kate right now."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asked me.

I closed my eyes and got into the car. "I'll talk to you when I get back to the motel."

I hung up and pocketed my phone, putting the key in the ignition and turning the engine over. I wanted to just tell him that I was worried, but what if nothing was wrong and I was just worrying him for nothing? Then again, what if something was wrong and I hadn't told him? That was almost like lying and I couldn't do that to him ever again.

I was actually really surprised that Dean even wanted this baby so much considering my heritage. What if our baby ended up being more demonic than we had bargained for and it posed a problem? I would never want to do what John had done and tell Dean that he may potentially have to kill his own child if he couldn't 'save' them…what were Dean and I getting ourselves into?

I just tried to push the thoughts away and parked in the motel parking lot, taking out my motel room key and letting myself in. Dean was the first one up and he came over to me, kissing me, resting his hand on my stomach. I smiled a little more and kissed him harder, slipping my fingers up into his hair and holding up the keys to the Impala so he could take them from me.

"Finally." Dean told me, kissing me swiftly again. "I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I went to the hospital because I was bleeding—but don't worry, the baby is still alive and well, but they took some blood so they could run some tests."

"I think that's a worse scenario than you getting caught." Dean said, stroking my hair.

"Baby, I'm fine and I promise the baby is fine too." I told him, kissing him and holding my hand on his and he rested it on my stomach and ran his thumb along it.

Dean nodded and then kissed me swiftly. "Kate's still sleeping since it's late, but I want to check in on something. You should get some rest and Sam will watch over you and Kate while I'm gone."

"All right…I am kind of tired." I admitted.

Dean nodded and kissed my one more time, heading out after taking the keys from me. Then I kissed the top of Sam's head and went to snuggle into mine and Dean's bed, content for now even though I was a little worried about what was going on with the baby. Still, I snuggled into the covers and told myself that everything was going to be fine—I was having this baby no matter what it took…switch or no switch.

xxxx

*Third Person - Inside the Other Reality*

The last thing Dean remembered before he woke up was the Djinn touching his forehead and now suddenly, he was waking up in a room—in Lana's room, Lana sleeping right next to him peacefully. Wait…there was absolutely no way that they were back in Kansas. He had been out hunting, and now…where the Hell was he? What had the Djinn done to him?

"Momma! Momma!" Cried a sandy-haired boy, no more than 5, jumping onto the bed.

Lana groaned a little and then sat up. "Johnny, honey, you can not go around yelling at this hour! You're going to wake Lily up, and Mommy and Baby are tired."

"Sorry baby." Johnny said, resting his hand on Lana's very slight pregnant bump and kissing it softly. "It's just that Casey is being mean! She jumped on my bed and woke me up!"

"Dean, honey, can you go talk to Casey, please?" Lana asked, turning to him and then noticing how astonished he looked. "Dean, honey?"

Dean wasn't sure if he knew exactly what to say and he just stared at her and the little boy that looked like he could definitely be his. He was also trying to absorb all of this information because from the sound of it, he and Lana had three kids and they were expecting a fourth. Where was he? What had the Djinn done?

"Johnny, why don't you go back to bed and I'll come talk to Casey in a second, all right?" Lana told him, and he nodded hurriedly, Eskimo-kissing his mother and then bounding back out of the room, Lana turning to Dean. "All right, Baby—what's got you looking so freaked out?"

Dean swallowed and he honestly couldn't get a handle on his emotions in the slightest. The Djinn granted wishes and deep down he knew what his one wish had been—he wished that his mother had never died. There were other wishes that he had, but that one was most important to him and he was wondering if this could really be a wish…could it? Here Lana was, pregnant with child number four and he could feel a ring on his finger and they had had a chance to know each other in Junior High…could this be happening, honestly?

"I just…Lanni, I…" Dean trailed off and shook his head.

Lana leaned in and kissed him, his mouth completely responsive to her, whether this was really his Lana or not. Part of him had so many questions to ask her and the other part of him just wanted to enjoy this. They had children—they had several children…how could he screw this up? This was something he had always wanted, and yet known he could never truly have the way it was supposed to be.

"Let's get coffee and talk after we talk to Casey." Lana explained, getting up and heading to their bedroom door in her tank and pajama pants after grabbing a baby monitor. "You coming, Dean?"

Dean just nodded and got up, a t-shirt and pajama pants on and he followed Lana past a nursery that he glanced into, and to a room with a little girl who looked almost like the spitting image of Lana. He really had to hand it to his children—he and Lana had given them some damn good genes. Now he really wanted to see his other daughter and he wanted to know how far along Lana was to know if they were in store for another girl or another boy this time around.

"What's with waking up your little brother?" Lana asked Casey, leaning on the door frame.

Casey shrugged a little. "I had a nightmare."

"Case, honey, you can always climb into bed with Daddy and me and you know that." Lana told her, heading over to her and sitting on the side of her bed, stroking her hair. "Why didn't you come to us?"

"You've been having hot flashes and I didn't want to be a pain." Casey said with a shrug.

Lana smiled and kissed her eldest daughter's forehead. "Case, honey, you're never a pain. Next time you have a nightmare, no matter what, come to Daddy and me and let Johnny sleep, okay? I don't think he understands. Now…want Daddy to check for monsters?"

"Yes." Casey said, nodding furiously.

Lana nodded and then looked at Dean, who smiled and went to go and check the closet and under the bed. Casey smiled at him and told him that she loved him, Dean grinning and telling her he loved her too. Honestly he felt like he could get used to this…even though it was hurting him inside that this kind of normal life would have given them Casey…would have spared him and Lana the heartbreak of losing a child.

"You think you can go back to sleep now, Case?" Lana asked her.

Casey nodded and smiled. "Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight, honey." Lana replied, kissing her head again and then walking out of the room and taking Dean by the hand, making sure Casey's night-light was on.

Dean simply followed Lana out into the kitchen and then smiled at her as he watched her make some coffee and yawn. She closed her eyes and rested her hand on her tiny pregnant bulge, smiling when Dean came up behind her and kissed her neck softly, moving her hair off of her neck. Nothing ever made her feel as good as when Dean did the small things like this that made her feel so much more comfortable.

"So why were you so freaked earlier, Dean?" Lana asked him softly, turning around in his arms and smiling up at him. "And careful—we've been married long enough that I know when you lie."

Dean nodded and stroked her cheek, kissing her softly. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"No?" She asked him.

"I was hunting a Djinn and one second he touches me, and the next I'm here." Dean explained to her.

Lana stopped smiling and Dean suddenly realized that maybe he shouldn't have said it like that. Just because his Lana was a hunter, didn't mean that this one was! What if he had just effectively made her think that he was crazy? All he knew right then was that Lana was looking at him differently now, but then she just closed her mouth and she nodded at him.

"You're really not entirely my Dean." She said finally. "Okay, until we figure this out, there are things that you should know."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "You believe me? Just like that?"

"I've been keeping the secret that I was a hunter for years, Dean…I believe you." She told him and then took a deep breath. "Casey is our first and she's 6. When she was four months old, you and I were in a really good mood and we had a really amazing night, and then Johnny was conceived so he and Casey are only 13 months younger than her. We also have Lily, who is seven months old and only just now sleeping through the night, and I'm three months pregnant with our fourth and last, baby. I love you but…four is a lot of kids, Dean."

"Definitely is." Dean replied with a nod. "So…what is it all like here?"

Lana smiled at him. "Well for one, you're an amazing father—not like I would ever think you wouldn't be—and your Dad died recently, which is tragic. I think Mary misses him a lot, and I really can't blame her."

Lana looked up as Dean turned to walk away from her, following him out into the living room and watching him as he looked at all of the pictures. There were pictures of him and Lana, of him, Lana and the kids, of John and the kids, and then there she was—Mary. His wish had come true and he had to see her—had to see his mother. He looked at Lana and he knew she was confused, but he grabbed his coat and pulled on his shoes.

"In my world…she died when Sam was six months old." Dean explained to her.

Lana nodded sadly. "Then you have to go see her."

Dean smiled at her, glad she understood, and headed out in the Impala, glad it was still his car even though there was an SUV—that was obviously to chauffeur the kids around. He went straight to Mary's house and he knocked on the door, ringing the doorbell quickly and was amazed to see his mother there. She looked miffed to see him in the middle of the night, but she had him come in and after asking her the one question he could think of, he was convinced it was her and he hugged her.

He hugged her and he talked to her a little, her letting him stay the night and Lana understood that. She had a cup of coffee and she went back to bed, the kids sleeping peacefully as Dean slept on his mother's couch, happy to just be in her presence. He had missed her so much, and if he had a chance to get to know her, then he was going to make the best of it. Dean had always missed his mother, and he knew that he always would…unless he never had to wake up.

When he did, though, he was still in this strange alternate reality, so he headed to a nearby college to learn more about Djinn. The thought had crossed his mind to talk to Lana about it, but at the same time she was probably busy with the kids on her own. It really made him smile to know that they had such a beautiful family…to know that she was happy—that he was happy. Right now though, Dean was doing what he did best: he was pretending to be someone else to get some answers.

"I don't recognize you from any of my classes." The professor told him.

Dean chuckled. "Really? I'm there everyday. I really love it."

The professor smiled. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"I wanted to know about Djinns." Dean replied. "Like can they really alter reality?"

"No." The professor told him. "Because they aren't real."

"Yeah, but, I mean if they were—could they really change everything based on a wish?" Dean asked him.

Dean knew his answers had to be here somewhere and since he in this reality was not a hunter, they had to come from someone else with the knowhow. Since John was never a hunter, none of John's contacts or any that Dean had made over the years would even know him, so he had to settle for a professor. Besides…he kind of liked this reality, and he really needed to know if this was real—if he could have this.

The professor nodded. "That's what the texts say. Djinns are almost godlike, and they can alter reality any way they see fit."

"But what do they gain from it?" Dean asked him. "I mean really. What do they get in return?"

"Have you been drinking?" The professor asked him, looking him over.

Dean sighed loudly. "Everyone keeps asking me that, but no."

When Dean got all the information he needed, he went outside to his car, but spotted a strange girl watching him. As he got closer to her to try and figure out who she was, a car almost ran him over, drawing his attention away from her. When he looked back up, she was gone, so he went back to his car, and headed back to Mary's, smiling when he saw that Lana's SUV was out there, meaning she and the kids were visiting their grandmother.

"I'm back!" Dean announced, coming into the house.

"Daddy!" Casey cried, running to him.

He picked her up and he smiled at her, kissing her head and she hugged him close, Mary smiling as he brought her into the dining room. Lana and Mary were making everyone food and Dean had to admit it—he was starving. So he set Casey down next to Johnny who was eating some cereal, looking up as Mary set a plate in front of him and Lana went over to a basonet as a soft cry was heard. It suddenly dawned on Dean that he hadn't even seen Lily yet, and he beamed as Lana picked Lily up and smiled at her.

"There's my hungry girl!" Lana exclaimed, nibbling on Lily's stomach through her onesie, which made Lily laugh a little. "I think it's your turn to be fed too…yes I do."

Mary handed Lana a weird looking piece of fabric according to Dean, but he watched and learned. It covered Lana and held Lily, letting Lily breastfeed without making anyone else watch—it was almost ingenious as far as Dean was concerned. He dug into his sandwich in front of him as Casey began to talk about cheese and its calcium, completely lost in the taste of it as Lana winced a little.

"This is the best sandwich ever!" Dean exclaimed.

Mary smiled at him. "I'm glad you think so."

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Johnny asked Lana.

"I'm fine, just…I'm definitely going to have Braxton Hicks when your brother or sister comes along." Lana said with a nod. "Just like when you did."

Mary ran her fingers through Lana's hair. "You're a brave one to juggle so many kids and still breast-feed while pregnant."

"I want four perfect little angels." Lana replied with a small shrug, trying not to upset Lily too much because her nipples were tender enough as it was without Lily feeling the need to latch on any harder.

"I don't know if you have any angels." Casey said, smiling when Johnny protested and Mary told her that she, Johnny and Lily were in fact angels.

Dean was just so happy in that moment—Lana was beautiful and a wonderful mother, Mary loved her like her own, his children were attractive and sassy, he led a rather decent life…but what about Sam? In all this time, Dean hadn't ever incquired about Sam. What was he up to? Where was he? What about Lana's family? How were they? How did hunting fit in with her?

"Where is Sammy?" Dean asked aloud.

Lana smiled at him, adjusting Lily a bit. "He should be here later today."

"Good, because I'm dying to see him." Dean replied with a smile and then he got up and looked out the window. "Wow, your lawn looks like it needs to be mowed."

"Are you offering to mow the lawn?" Mary asked skeptically.

"I would love to mow the lawn!" Dean told her happily.

Mary nodded slowly. "Okay…you'd think you'd never mowed a lawn in your life."

Lana laughed a little and then shrugged and waved it off when Mary sipped her coffee and looked at her. Lana knew that in this reality Dean had mowed the lawn plenty of times, but in his, he was a hunter and he hadn't had a normal life. Mary told him to knock himself out, and then after finishing his sandwich, he went out and got the lawnmower, Casey and Johnny coloring as Mary went to grab a couple of things and Lana burped Lily, watching Dean out the window and smiling.

He was adorable—and he didn't know how to mow a lawn at all, but it was cute and Lana was enjoying it. This Dean was definitely different, but at the same time he was Dean, and he seemed to be genuinely in love with her even though she wasn't exactly his Lana and she almost loved him more for that. Besides, he was great with the kids even though he hadn't been around them that much, but he genuinely seemed to love them…and Lana was just happy Dean was happy.

"I think I deserve a nice, cold beer for that." Dean said, coming in and smiling at everyone.

Lana smiled and handed him a very happy Lily. "Hold your daughter and I'll get you one."

"All right." Dean said with a nod, taking Lily and holding her like he'd held Kaydence and Minah before, smiling when she smiled at him and reached for his nose. "I think she likes me."

"I would hope so." Lana replied with a laugh, handing him a beer after popping the top off and then holding out her hands. "Give her back and go sit on the porch and enjoy the beer."

Dean looked at Lana. "Do you…do you mind if I take her with me?"

"Knock yourself out." Lana told him, even though she knew she kind of sounded like Mary just then.

Dean smiled because he'd thought she sounded like his mother too, and he took Lily outside with him, sitting on the porch. He kissed her head and drank the beer, looking up as Johnny and Casey came out with some sidewalk chalk. Lana came out too just as Sam pulled up with Jessica, both of them fresh from California and happy to be there.

"Sammy!" Lana cried as Jessica shut the door of the car hard.

Sam's eyes lit up and they ran to each other. "I missed you, Lan! How is my niece or nephew?"

"Great, I promise you." Lana replied, hugging Sam tightly and then turning to go for Jessica, but Dean was already there with his arms around her, holding her tightly.

Lana glanced over to see Casey holding her sister on the porch, and Johnny grabbing Sam's hand. Sam looked down at his nephew and smiled at him, nodding when Johnny tugged him over to where Casey and Lily were. Johnny was hoping that the baby in his mother's stomach was a boy—he had enough sisters and Sam could understand where he was coming from even without firsthand experience.

When Dean was done hugging Jessica, Lana went in for a hug, the two embracing each other fondly. Dean smiled at that—Lana really was part of his family, and he realized that he should have realized that a long time ago. She was just his perfect match and the fact that she was like this in just a wish reality was perfect for him…she was perfect to him.

"So you ready for Mary's birthday dinner?" Jessica asked Lana, both of them pulling apart but staying fairly close.

Lana nodded as Dean made a face. "Yes, completely. I just need to make sure Lily naps so she won't be too fussy. I know the restaurant will throw a fit if I have to breast-feed her while we're there."

"Oh they can get over it—you'd be covered. Besides, babies are just a part of life." Jessica replied she and Lana hugging again. "My God Sam and I have been so busy, but that's no excuse to go this long without seeing each other!"

"I've been busy too but trust me…I get where you're coming from." Lana replied with a nod.

Dean just smiled at them, and then after a little bit of talking with Mary, they all kind of split up to get ready for the night. Lana got Casey and Lily dressed before she even started getting ready herself, and Dean helped Johnny to get ready, all of them dressing pretty fancy. Dean smiled at his family and then they went to the restaurant, all of them sitting at the table, Mary genuinely happy to be spending this day with her family.

Lana smiled at Dean as he rested his hand on her knee, and then all attention was on Jessica and Sam. Mary and Lana's eyes lit up when Sam took Jessica's left hand and showed them all the ring on her finger, Casey clapping excitedly as the uproar happened. She and Johnny understood what was going on and they were happy for their uncle—they wanted Jessica to be their aunt. So everyone got up and they hugged and offered Sam and Jessica congratulations, all of them turning to see Dean walk away from Sam abruptly towards a figure.

Dean was seeing the same girl from before again, but as he got closer to her, he was distracted by almost running into a waiter. When his focus went back to the girl, she was gone again and Dean knew he looked pretty foolish, turning back to his family. They were all looking at him funny and Lana was biting her lip and Dean wasn't sure what it was that he was supposed to do, but Lana hurriedly made up an excuse for them all to get on back home after finishing up dinner.

When they got back to Mary's, she decided to turn in, but hugged everyone one last time and welcome Jessica into the family. She kissed the sleeping Lily in the car-seat, then Dean offered to take Sam and Jessica out for a drink to celebrate, but Sam gave him a look. Lana asked Jessica to watch Lily, Casey and Johnny for a moment, and then dragged Sam and Dean into the kitchen, smiling a little at Johnny and Casey resting their heads together, both exhausted.

"How about tonight we get the kids home, and then tomorrow the four of us can celebrate? Tomorrow's Dean's and my day anyway. That sound good?" Lana asked them.

Sam nodded and then explained that he and Dean weren't super close at all. They were close because Lana had made them close and she had definitely changed Dean for the better, but Lana was the one that kept in touch the most. Sam and Dean actually did love each other, but it was more of a have to than a want to and that hurt Dean more than he could say. The hunting was what brought them together, and in this world…in this world the hunting didn't exist for them.

Dean let it go though and helped to carry his kids out to the car, watching Lana hug Sam and Jessica one last time before they piled into the car. All three kids fell asleep on the car ride home, and then Dean helped Lana get them all changed and tucked in, both of them getting into their own pajamas before Dean went to sit on the couch. Lana smiled at him a little and got him his favorite beer, handing it to him as he pondered.

"Wow…you know me like the back of my hand." Dean told her, smiling up at her.

Lana shrugged and sat down next to him, cuddling into him. "Well I've been married to you for almost 8 years now so…I'd like to think so."

"I'm still getting used to that." Dean admitted with a nod, and then he smiled at her. "I honestly can't believe that someone like me who isn't redeemable in anyway without hunting could still get a girl like you."

"You know here's something about you that I don't think will ever change—you don't think you deserve anything. Damn-it, Dean…you do." Lana said, pulling him closer to her. "How about we do this instead: how is your other world?"

"Not as happy as this one." Dean admitted with a small laugh.

Lana smiled at him and nodded, waiting for him to continue talking even though he was silent for a moment. He didn't know exactly what to tell her, but he felt happy that no matter where he was, when he was with Lana he knew she believed in and trusted him. Dean ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head, smiling when she laughed a lightly and ran her fingers along his chest.

"You travel with Sam and I hunting in my world because our mother died when Sam was 6 months old and Dad got into hunting to avenge her death and in turn dragged us into it." Dean began softly. "You're pregnant right now and you're having some problems that I can't help you with. You're a Godmother—Jen and Kevin have twin daughters—and you're afraid that you're demon half is going to hurt your children…our children."

Lana just nodded and managed a, "She's having a boy."

"Baby, why are you crying?" Dean asked her.

"I just…Kevin was kidnapped and we found his body." Lana explained sadly, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "She went kind of hunt crazy and was killed by a Shapeshifter."

"Baby, I'm sorry." Dean told her, kissing her head again.

Even if this wasn't entirely his Lana, he hated to see her in pain and he knew how much Jen meant to her. It was no wonder that she would feel so bittersweet hearing that Jen had children and a family—that what this Lana had wanted with her best friend. Dean continued though when she asked, explaining about his childhood, and about the demons and about everything he'd ever been through with her and on his own before he and he wished that some of the stories that he was telling this Lana, he had told his Lana.

"So what about this world? What about this 'us'?" Dean asked her finally, holding her close to him on the couch, both of them lying down now.

Lana smiled at him. "I was best friends with Sammy right off the bat, actually. He and Jen dated early on in High School and then Kevin admitted how he felt and Jen wanted Kevin. Sam was all right with that, and your mother and I became fast friends, so you had to deal with me a lot. Then I went in the same Prom group with Sammy—Lance was my date—and you and I ended up practically going at it in the back of your car. Unfortunately for you, I wanted a relationship so you didn't get lucky…instead you asked me out."

"I made a good choice." Dean replied, kissing her softly. "Now…why do you say my Lana's having a boy?"

"Because Casey's pregnancy went smoothly—so did Lily's and so is this one, so I'm assuming we're having another girl." Lana said with a smile and a shrug. "With Johnny though…Johnny's pregnancy was really rough, but we got him and that was all that mattered."

Dean nodded and kissed her again, pulling back a moment and frowning a little as he ran his hand over her stomach. It was nice because he was in love with this world, and he was glad that he and Lana were happy, but he couldn't do this. She wasn't the same—she didn't have the same memories. This just wasn't his Lana, or his world…no matter how desperately he wanted it to be.

"I'm kind of exhausted actually, so…goodnight, Dean." Lana told him, nodding because she caught onto his pulling away.

She kissed him softly and left to go to bed, Dean turning on the TV after watching her until she disappeared. He nodded slowly drank his beer and switched around on TV, landing on the news, his eyes widening. It was a tribute to the flight he had saved but in this world…in this world he hadn't saved anyone. His curiosity got the best of him and he got onto a computer and he realized that everyone he had ever saved had died…and then he saw her.

At first Dean thought he was seeing things, but he saw the girl that he had been seeing everywhere walk past him and so he followed her into the bedroom, Lana lying there. She looked up when he came in and watched as he opened up the closet, jumping at the sight of all of the hanging bodies, but the second he blinked and looked away and then back, the bodies were gone and there were just clothes and some boxes of baby things on the top shelf.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Lana asked him as he hurried out.

He quickly grabbed his shoes and his jacket as Lana called Kate, and he headed straight to the cemetery, looking at John's grave. Dean didn't know what it was that he was supposed to be doing, but he knew he had to talk to his father…even though his father wasn't there. He looked at the grave and he tried to keep the sadness in, but he couldn't keep the words in any longer.

"All of them…everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy, Lanni and I saved—they're all dead…and there's this woman that's haunting me." Dean explained to his father's grave. "I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is—not yet, anyway. It's like my old life is coming after me or something, like it doesn't want me to be happy. Of course, I know what you'd say." Dean admitted with a nod. "Well, not the you that played softball, but you'd say, 'Go hunt the Djinn. It put you here. It can put you back. Your happiness or all those people's lives—no contest'. Right? But why?" Dean asked sadness mixed with anger. "Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? I'm not supposed to have a family? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's…" Dean tried, but he just nodded and wiped the tears off of his face as the pain hit him.

"Baby, what do you want to do?" Lana asked him.

Dean turned to see her standing there and when he made a face she explained that she had called Kate and she was looking after the girls. Apparently Kate and Lance were married and they were having some problems and Kate wanted out of the house. Lana walked up to Dean and she took his hand with one hand, and wiped the tears away with the others and she smiled at him softly.

"I need to go back to my own world…I can't stay here." Dean explained to her sadly.

Lana nodded slowly. "Why? Why can't you be selfish? Aren't you happy here?"

"I can't, Lanni." Dean whispered to her. "I want to, but I have to do this."

"Then I'll help you because I'm not letting you do this all on your own." She told him, but Dean could tell that she wanted him to stay with her.

He just took her help and they went to Mary's after grabbing the blood they needed, Dean looking for some silver and Lana not wanting to explain everything to Kate. Unfortunately Sam caught them and he was disappointed that Lana was actually letting Dean steal from his own mother. Dean made up a story about a bookie and a debt to be paid, and Sam decided to come with—he didn't want Dean and Lana to do anything on their own.

"So why are you coming, really?" Lana asked him.

Sam sighed. "Because Dean is still my brother, and you're still my best friend."

"Bitch." Dean told Sam with a smile.

Sam made a face. "Why'd you call me a bitch?"

"No, you're supposed to say, 'jerk'…never mind." Dean said, and they drove a little ways, and then Sam found it.

"What is this?" Sam asked, holding the bag out of Lana's way when she reached for it.

"You don't want to open that." Dean said, but Sam took it out of the bag.

"Oh my God!" Sam exclaimed loudly.

Lana nodded. "Yeah…it's blood."

"I know what it is! Why is it in your car?" Sam asked Dean.

"Because silver dipped in lamb's blood is the only weapon you can use against a Djinn." Lana replied with a shrug.

Dean tried to convince Sam that demons and ghosts and such were truly real, and then Sam fell asleep on their drive to Illinois. He didn't believe Dean—not even when Lana tried to back him up—but he did get up when Lana woke him up gingerly, and they went inside the building Dean had been confronted by the Djinn in, in his world. Dean found the girl that he had been seeing hanging there, and he, Sam and Lana hid when the Djinn showed up, and they watched as he tasted some of the girl's blood as she hung there, that being enough to convince Sam that this was real.

"This is real? You're not crazy? We have to get out of here, now, before that thing comes back!" Sam exclaimed.

"What if I'm in the same predicament?" Dean asked. "This is all in my head, isn't it? I'm hung up somewhere dreaming all of this—Djinn's can't change reality at all. What if that's why she keeps appearing to me? She's not a spirit. It's like more and more I'm catching flashes of reality…you know, like I'm in here somewhere, I'm catatonic, and I'm taking all this stuff in, but I…but I can't snap out of it."

Dean was running things through his head, more and more convinced that this world, as much as he wanted it, wasn't his. He couldn't stay here and be happy—he was out in the real world suffering and he needed to wake himself up. Part of him was screaming at him not to be rash, but the other part of him really wanted to wake up in the real world and kick some Djinn ass.

"Okay. Look. Yeah, you're right—you're right, I was wrong. You're not crazy, but we—we need to get out of here fast." Sam told Dean, pulling on his brother's arm.

"I don't think you're real." Dean said, freeing himself from Sam's hold as Lana bit her lip.

Sam grabbed Dean's arm. "Did you feel that? You feel this? I'm real. This is not an acid trip. I'm real, and that thing is gonna come down here and kill us for real. Now, please."

"There's one way to be sure." Dean replied, pulling out the silver knife.

"Dean!" Lana cried out softly.

Sam was surprised too. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?"

"It's an old wives' tale. If you're about to die in a dream, you'll wake up." Dean explained to him.

He didn't like the fear and pain on Sam's and Lana's faces right then, but he did feel like he was doing the right thing here. This wasn't his world and he had to wake himself up and fight back—he couldn't die like this.

"No, no, no. That's crazy, alright?" Sam protested.

Lana nodded quickly. "You could just be killing yourself and where am I going to be without you? What about the kids?"

"Lan's right, Dean. This isn't a dream, alright?" Sam pleaded with him.

"No, I'm pretty sure—like 90% sure, but I'm sure enough." Dean told him, and turned the knife dipped in lamb's blood on himself.

"What about the other 10%?" Lana asked him, as Sam screamed, "Wait!"

Mary, Jessica, Casey, and Johnny appeared, Lily suddenly in Lana's arms and Dean paused a moment. He couldn't believe that they were all standing right there and he felt part of his urge to do this slip away.

"Why'd you have to keep digging? Why couldn't you have left well enough alone? You were happy." Sam told him.

Mary nodded slowly. "Put the knife down, honey."

"You're not real. None of it is." Dean told her.

"It doesn't matter." Mary answered him. "It's still better than anything you had. It's everything that you want. We're a family again—you have a home…let's just go home."

Dean looked at her. "I'll die. The Djinn will drain the life out of me in a couple of days."

"But in here, with us, it'll feel like years, like a lifetime. I promise. No more pain, no more fear." Mary told him, resting her hand on his cheek, smiling as he leaned into her touch, wanting to have his mother back so desperately. "Just love and comfort and safety. Dean—stay with us. Get some rest."

"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore." Jessica explained to him. "You get to watch him live a full life."

Lana nodded and kissed Dean softly, Dean responding to the kiss because he knew he couldn't not. This Lana loved him, and she had a family with him, and when she pulled away, he looked at Johnny, Casey and Lily and he felt Lana take his hand with her free one and rest it on her slightly protruding stomach. Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat and looked Lana in the eye.

"Dean we have a family—we have a home. Please…just stay with us." Lana pleaded.

Casey nodded. "We need you, Daddy."

"We don't want to be without you." Johnny explained.

"Why is it our job to save everyone?" Sam asked him. "Haven't we done enough? I'm begging you…give me the knife."

Dean nodded sadly and looked them all over, taking a step back and thinking it all over in his head. He knew he wanted to stay—he wanted to stay so terribly that he almost couldn't stand it—but he also knew he couldn't. So he just shook his head and looked directly at Sam, and then at Lana.

"I'm sorry." Dean told them, and then he plunged the knife into himself.

xxxx

Lana's POV

"Dean! Dean! Dean. Oh, God. Come on. Hey, wake up." Sam told him as I used some of my magic to get Dean's wrists out of the restraints. "Wake up, damn it. Hey. Hey."

"Auntie Em." Dean said weakly. "There's no place like home."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God! Sammy and I thought we'd lost you for a second!"

"You almost did." Dean admitted wincing a little as Kate removed the needle from his neck. "Why the Hell did they let you come?"

"Oh you'd rather they leave me alone in the motel room all by myself?" I asked him, wiping a tear away.

I had been worried sick about him, and just when I was getting Dean down, the Djinn showed up and began to fight Sam, gaining the upper hand. Dean yelled and then he smiled, Kate stabbing the Djinn with the lamb's blood silver knife, and saving Sam, who smiled at her. I helped Dean to lean against me, and then he straightened up and said he could walk on his own.

I just nodded and Sam and Kate got a young woman down—one that Dean said that he recognized. We got her to the hospital and then we went back to the motel and I sat next to Dean as he thought everything over and I knew he was in pain. I didn't understand exactly what was going on, but I knew that he was definitely sad.

"Okay. Uh, well, thank you so much for the update. Okay, bye." Sam said, hanging up his phone and sitting on his bed, Kate next to him. "That was the hospital. The girl's been stabilized. Good chance she's gonna pull through."

Dean nodded. "That's good."

"Yeah." Sam admitted, and then he looked hard at Dean. "How about you? You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm all right." Dean told him. "You should have seen it, Sam—our lives. You were such a wussy."

Sam chuckled softly. "So, we didn't get along, then, huh?"

"No." Dean admitted to him.

I studied him as he got up and went to go lean on the dresser, Kate watching him too. We were both aware because of our heightened senses that he was upset and he was in great emotional pain, but neither of us knew what to say. He just looked at us and I tried to smile, but I knew that wasn't what he needed.

"I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy." Sam told him.

"It wasn't—it was just a wish." Dean explained with a nod. "I wished for Mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting, and you and me just never, uh…you know. Hell, Lanni and I were on baby number four."

I nodded slowly—that was it. "Someday we could still potentially get to baby number four…well, maybe—that's a lot of kids."

"Well, I'm glad we do." Sam told Dean, letting him know that the bonding they'd done was very important to him. "And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. They would've just stayed."

"Yeah, lucky me." Dean said softly. "I got to tell you, though, man—you had Jess. Lanni and I had a happy family. Mom had grandkids and two daughter-in-laws that she adored to no end."

Sam cut in. "Yeah, but, Dean, it wasn't real."

I looked at Sam as Dean nodded, Kate's hand squeezing Sam's as Sam tried to console Dean because I didn't have the words. There was nothing that I could say that would make this better for him and I just…I couldn't figure out how to talk to him. If I was so perfect for him—why couldn't I figure out what to say?

"I know…but I wanted to stay." Dean explained to him. "I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad…all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much…we've sacrificed so much."

"But people are alive because of you." Sam explained and Dean made a face. "It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and, you know, it hurts like hell, but it's worth it."

Dean looked up at Sam's pleading face slowly and I just nodded and after a moment of silence I held a finger up and left the motel room. I wanted to take that hurt away from him but how could I do that? We were hunters. We went after things that wanted to destroy us for a living and I couldn't give him that home he craved for.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I smiled at him and shook my head as he went to wipe my tears away, cradling my face in his hands. It was bad enough that he was enduring the emotional pain that he was enduring, but now I was crying? He needed me, and I was an emotional wreck of my own and I didn't know how to fix this.

"I'm not dead." Dean told me.

I nodded slowly. "I'm so happy about that, but I just…you don't think that you deserve or that you can have a family and that's all I want to give you. I want you to feel like you have a home and a family, Dean."

"Baby, I do." Dean said, kissing me softly. "You're my family…you're my home…I love you."

"I made you have a chick flick moment." I told him, scrunching up my nose.

Dean smiled and kissed me softly. "I think I needed it."

"Oh, hey—the doctor's said that the baby and I are fine, but that I needed to try and reduce my stress and to make sure I got back to them if anything else happened or if the bleeding lasts very much longer." I explained to him.

Dean nodded and kissed me again, murmuring that he loved me one more time and then smiling when I gave in and just kissed him. I had him back, and he actually genuinely seemed happy to just be with me, so I really couldn't complain. He wanted to be where he was, and he wanted that with me, and I wanted him in my life…I was never letting him go—he could count on that.

Note: This chapter was REALLY long, but I hope it made everyone happy. So much happened—Dean and Lana got married, they're having a baby, Dean saw a future he wanted that he doesn't think he can have (I LOVE Dean/Carmen but as I said before I wanted to show that in this story Lana/Dean are kind of…I don't wanna say 'destined', but kinda, yeah) but he's trying and WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS 'SWITCH'? Feedback is always appreciated!