AN: IS THIS NOT THE PERFECT SONG FOR BOOTH AND BRENNAN? XD


But what's holding me back is the thought of time we never had
My world's hanging by three words that I can't bear to say

When you hear this chorus
Do you miss the way the world was spinning for us?
Do you hurt the way that I do?
After all this time you leave me broken
This song is every word I left unspoken
When you hear this, girl, I'm hoping that you think of us
That you think of us

-If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet? (Mayday Parade)

Rolling onto his side, he sighed heavily and watched the silver majesty of the moon creep higher into the pitch black sky; the smell of sex and sweat hanging heavily in his room. Beside him rested the beautiful woman he had been dating for almost two months; her blond hair fanned out against one of his pillows.

She was asleep, but he was very much awake, and very much regretful of what he had just done.

As he pressed his lips to her neck; his body hovering over hers; he thought about his dream. The dream he had when he was comatose; listening to the words of his partner; expressing the sweetest of love stories, despite the shadow of death that had covered their lives.

As he kissed her; he remembered all of the times his lips had met with the woman he couldn't stop thinking about. He remembered that first case; kissing her outside of that bar; the rain soaking through to their heated bodies, while his lungs fought for the breath that had been stolen from him.

And as he fucked her; because he sure as hell didn't make love to her; he remembered all of the dreams he had where she was the temptress that wouldn't offer him the mercy of having a peaceful sleep. When he closed his eyes; he pictured auburn hair, and cerulean eyes; and for that, he was ready to damn himself to hell.

If I'm not heading there already…

He felt dirty; like he had just cheated on someone, but as he made his way into his bathroom, and turned on the heated spray of his shower; he decided that in fact, he had cheated on two people.

On Hannah for loving another woman, and on Brennan for still loving her; despite the relationship he had with Hannah.

The scolding water that was slicing down his skin at the temperature at heated metal brought his teeth to grind together, but he accepted his metal punishment; conditioning himself for the fires of hell. He felt her touches burn from his skin, and her scent spiraled down the drain.

He felt himself start shaking against the pain, and once his skin was a raw pink; he relented the turned the heat down. Resting his head against the edge of the shower; he breathed deeply and shook his head; praying, thinking, and then praying again.

The simplicity of three words, never felt so burdening. Like anvils that were dropped from great heights onto his shoulders, and he was frozen; unable to fight back, or search for any sort of relief.

He cursed as he heard his bed squeak, and felt the draft of the open door. He saw her form materialize behind the distorted crystalline glass, and for the millionth time that night, he wished it wasn't who he knew it was.

He felt her hands touch his back, and felt her arms wrap around him; her naked body pressing flush to his back while in his mind; he fought between either bashing his head off the porcelain in front of him; or returning the water temperature to burning hot.

"What's wrong baby?" she asked tenderly; her lips pressing into his shoulders, which automatically tensed against invisible pain.

A lot of things…

"Nothing," he growled; shaking his head as he stood straight, and turned out of her grasp; facing her and smiling weakly. "I'm just…thinking about things."

"What things?" she returned; her lips coming to settle on his chest.

"I'm…I'm wondering…how I can stop something…that never actually started."