Blair felt anxious. She had brought everyone to see the house except for Todd but what he was about to see was a house that was pretty much move-in ready save for the last bits of furniture for the kids' bedrooms. He was going to see her in a way she didn't think he, or anyone else for that matter, had seen her in years.
This place had every bit of her heart and soul in it, a place that belonged to her, a haven and refuge where she didn't live on borrowed time. It was appalling in a way that it had taken her this long to set up her own home. For so long now, Dorian's mansion had been a place that she could feel secure in the concept of family but over the past several years, Blair had felt she had outgrown it.
Perhaps it was the lax security that had really changed things. Once someone walks into your bathroom and stabs you a few times, a sense of security is hard to recapture. Blair wasn't foolish enough to believe that her new home was impenetrable but it wouldn't have so many bad memories attached to it.
This was all brand new and now that it was so close to being realized, Blair felt the tremors of fear and anxiety.
Stop it, she told herself. Open the door and everything will be fine. She cast a sideways glance at Todd, noting the death grip he had on the handle of the bag he was carrying. Presents always made her feel better. "So… when do I get that?"
"Patience," Todd cajoled her softly.
The elevator doors opened to the outside foyer. The front door was rather plain and Blair wanted it to be like that. She liked the idea of the outside not revealing the inside… she'd had a lot of experience with that.
"This is nice," Todd commented as he looked about the foyer. It was painted in taupe and even though it wasn't particularly dressed up there was a sense of comfort in the air. A dark brown backless bench sat in the middle of the space.
"I'm still not convinced about this thing," Blair sighed. "But there's got to be something here or else the area just looks naked." She looked around critically. "Maybe I should put a mirror or an art print on that wall or something."
Todd didn't say anything; much like he didn't say anything back in the day when Blair was first decorating their penthouse. She had a tendency to talk out loud when she was figuring out decor, he'd learned that long ago.
"You ready?" Blair moved forward and put her thumb against a tiny screen on the door. Then she opened the door wide and beckoned him inside.
Todd had done his best to keep himself from any flights of fancy when it came to the new place. The first thing he noticed was the soaring entry way, the wall of windows on the far side of the area, the sweeping staircase in clouded glass and steel and the chandelier with pops of bright colored crystals. The chandelier kept him from calling the place 'minimalist' but it was very modern and when he turned his head to look at Blair she fit so perfectly it stunned him.
It probably shouldn't have, this was all by her design after all. Todd was startled by how emotional he felt. This was going to be their home. And it was all dreamed up and designed by Blair to include them all. This wasn't someone else's penthouse that they purchased, this wasn't someone else's penthouse that they were staying in, this wasn't someone else's home that they were staying it.
It was theirs completely.
"What do you think?"
Todd looked at Blair, who was twisting her fingers waiting for him to respond. He dropped the bag he carried and stepped towards her, covering her hands with his and drawing her to him. "It's perfect," he said softly. "It's you… so it's perfect."
She breathed out a throaty laugh. "Only you, Todd, think I'm anywhere close to that."
He shrugged slowly. "That's because everyone else is a moron."
"I've got a surprise for you."
"Another one?"
She pulled him down the hallway, past the doorway where candles were lit and a small dinner set out.
"Are we eating?"
"In a minute."
She opened one door to him and let him step inside. "Ever since you walked back into my life I've been making room for you here… even when I didn't quite realize it," she explained. "But as our courtship continued I knew you'd end up here. So I set this space aside for you. Do you like the desk?"
Todd shouldn't have been so moved by a mostly empty room but the idea that Blair had been rearranging her world for him the moment he came back was gratifying to say the least. It meant that she had known, just as he had, that they belonged together. It wasn't something he had to convince her of, it was something she only had to allow herself to hope for.
Apparently she had.
"The desk is great," he nodded. Blair always had been able to read him. He wasn't exactly a traditionalist and she'd always managed to find desks and furniture that mirrored that.
"I didn't mess with the shelves because I figured you'd want this little office to work for you. But it does have a secret."
"What?" Todd turned to look at her again. "The room has a secret?"
"A lot of them do," Blair's sly smile was irresistible. "There's a secret passage that leads from here to the master suite."
"What is it with you and secret passages?"
"You know how much I love secrets."
Todd's smile widened. "Yeah, you sure do."
"I loved the idea of those old homes with secret passages, old murder mysteries where you could spy on people through the eyeholes of portraits," Blair rubbed her hands together in delight. "I didn't build anything like that, or like a secret room or anything but I wanted everyone to have their own little private pathway to somewhere. Jack and Sam both have little hangout nooks, Starr and Hope have a secret passage from their apartment to here. You've got yours and I've got one hidden away in the bathroom."
"The bathroom?"
"I'll show you later." She led him back to the dining room where their dinner awaited.
Todd chivalrously held her chair out for her and then took a seat next to her. "You thought of everything."
"We didn't have time to eat before," Blair pointed out. "I know it's late but a light dinner is always nice. Besides," she lowered her eyes demurely. "I thought it would be nice for us to have our first meal here together, alone."
Demure was rather captivating on Blair. It wasn't card she played very often. Only when she was happy. When she was happy she didn't feel like she had anything to prove. When she was happy, she was every color of the spectrum; shameless, demure, fiery, peaceful… but always Blair.
They ate their dinner, sharing ideas for the upcoming holidays and talking about presents for the kids. Soon the house would be overrun by a rambunctious child who wanted to be Spider-Man and a moody teenager who could give anyone a run for their money as far as noise went. Not to mention a twenty-something young woman and a four year old, both of whom expected the world to cater to their every need, would be regular visitors.
It was nice to have their first dinner just be the two of them and let the silence of the new surround them. It was something they'd always have.
"So," Blair hedged as they put their dishes away. "Do I get my present now?"
Todd chuckled softly as he dried his hands and went to fetch the box. "Here," he set it on the counter and let Blair open it.
When she did, her eyes widened slightly. "Todd," her voice drawled his name out in that way that always sent a delicious shiver up his spine. "They're beautiful."
"Remind you of anything?"
Blair held the nightgown up against her body to test the length. "I used to have a set like this years ago."
"You wore it when I came home from Ireland," Todd murmured. "You came down the stairs looking like… liquid light."
Blair looked up at him.
"You looked so beautiful and I wanted you so much but I was so angry and stupid."
"That was a long time ago, Todd."
"Doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt," he told her. "If I had just done what I really wanted… if I had gotten into bed with you that night… everything would have been different."
"Hey," she reached forward and touched his face. "If we could, we'd change a lot of things, I know that. Sometimes, I think we both have a tendency to dwell too much in the past and torture ourselves with what could have been. I mean, who knows, if everything had gone right for us back then maybe we would have gotten sick of each other by now."
Todd stared at her. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."
"I'm trying to lighten the mood," she replied. "I don't want you getting into a self-loathing kick. Not now, not when we're in our new home and it's so beautiful… look over here," she grabbed his hand and started to pull him to follow her.
Todd didn't give an inch, he yanked her back to him, holding her tightly.
"I was going to give you a tour," she whispered breathlessly.
"I don't want a tour. I want you."
"You have me." She kissed him, sliding her arms around his waist to dig her fingernails into his back.
When they parted, he nodded slightly at the nightgown set. "Go upstairs and put that on."
She raised her eyebrows at him slightly. "Are you trying to recreate something?"
"I'm trying to…" he hesitated, "do something right."
"You do a lot of things right," she whispered.
"Please."
Blair stepped back at that and took the box with the set upstairs.
Todd passed underneath the walkway that separated the two wings of the house. The wall of windows beckoned to him. Blair had always liked the view that the penthouse gave them but he suspected she had designed this with him in mind as well. He always loved staring out the wall of windows over the lights of Llanview. It had made him feel powerful; as if he had made something of himself.
Now, it felt like he was home.
The Manning Building was only a few blocks away and it dominated the part of the skyline that could be seen from the new place. Todd would have thought that it wouldn't necessarily be a view Blair wanted given the state of her relationship with Victor before he came back.
Still, it was a good looking building and it gave the view a suitably dramatic slant that Todd figured Blair appreciated no matter what else.
It was a very different kind of view than the penthouse. That had been on a high-rise building which made everything look very small. This building was maybe half the size of the one that had housed the penthouse so even being at the top he was looking up to the larger business section of Llanview. Instead of being above it all, he felt like he was part of the town.
It wasn't a bad feeling.
The lights dimmed significantly then and Todd turned just as Blair softly called his name. She came down the sweeping, curved staircase, one hand on the railing, the white robe trailing behind her.
Sexy was always a word that could be attributed to Blair but Todd always liked her best like this… a column of white, beautiful, ethereal… a vision he had clung to during horrible times. He was already moving towards her when she held her hand out to him. His pace quickened as he neared her, and he stepped up on the first step and reached for her mouth with his own.
They kissed there on the stairs before Blair pulled away, backing up a step and taking his hand in hers before turning and leading him upstairs.
How many times have we made this trek? Todd wondered. He could imagine that it was two decades ago, and this was the penthouse, and he had just come home from Ireland. There was no Patrick Thornheart just the wife he left behind and yearned for. This time, he was coming home the right way. He could fix it in his head.
He wanted to fix things so badly.
When Blair led him up to their bedroom, she opened the door and stepped inside, releasing his hand and letting him look around.
The lights were low but didn't hinder visibility. Blair had not chosen a sleigh bed this time but in it's place was a sleek platform punctuated by a headboard that took up a significant portion of the wall. A fire burned softly in the fireplace across from the bed and another impressive set of windows gave another, slightly different, view of downtown Llanview.
"Wow."
"You like it?"
Todd was at a loss for words. Blair moved towards him and gently removed his jacket, laying it over the back of a nearby chair. "This is our room?"
"Mm-hmm."
"It's different from our room in the penthouse," he said as he toed off his shoes.
"Well, we're different. Styles have changed a bit. It's okay, isn't it?"
"I was imagining coming back from Ireland," he said, moving towards her and pressing his palm against hers. "I was imagining putting that right, fixing it… but now, looking at this room, this house… I don't want to be anywhere but right here, right now… with you."
Blair entwined her fingers with his and leaned up to kiss him. "I'm glad. Here we are… a whole new house, a whole new life." She began to unbutton his shirt, kissing his neck as she did. Once his shirt was off, she moved away again and lowered the lights. As she did so, he noticed the pinpoints of light cast about the room from the Moroccan lamps that sat on the endtables next to the bed.
"Impressive," he breathed when she approached him again. He slipped his hands under the straps of her gown and pushed it off her shoulders. The white silk puddled at her feet and he slid his arms around her waist, pulling her close again. "You always did have a flair for the dramatic." With that, he grabbed her waist and tossed her on the bed.
Blair shrieked as she went flying onto the bed, landing with a soft grunt and then bursting out in laughter. Todd joined her, laughing as well. As they entwined together he thought to himself, the past is the past.
It was hard to languish over past mistakes when a beautiful, naked, exuberant Blair was wrapping herself around one's body and getting rid of the rest of one's clothes. Todd wanted nothing more than to christen their house the right way.
It was a good time later that they lay in the darkness, watching the firelight cast shadows on the ceiling.
"I think it should just be our immediate family for Thanksgiving," Blair murmured softly. She was nestled against his side while he held their clasped hands over his chest. "We've never done that. I'd like to do it just once… all of us."
"Okay," Todd sighed contentedly.
"We won't be going to Llanfair or La Boulie," Blair said firmly. "And they won't be coming here. It's just family. The next day we can go calling if we have to."
"For propriety's sake?" Todd laughed lazily. "Spare me."
"I'm just saying…" Blair trailed off. "The Christmas tree will go up in front of the windows, I think it will be so beautiful."
"We're going to have to get new ornaments," Todd told her. "We aren't bringing Dorian's tacky French crap with us."
"I'm buying you a special tacky French ornament just for that," Blair smiled.
"Unless it's a picture of you in a French maid's outfit, I don't want it." Todd grunted softly when Blair sent an elbow into his ribs. "You know, I've been trying to figure out a way to smoke you out of Dorian's ever since I got back."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah," he caressed the shell of her ear with one finger. "You don't belong there. You never did."
Blair didn't say anything for a moment. "I'm a Cramer, aren't I?"
"That's not what I mean," he sighed. "You belong at La Whatever about as much as I belong at Llanfair. We're both the misfits of our family."
Blair didn't respond for several moments. "You're… you've always been… very good at cutting through the bullshit."
"I know you don't like to think of yourself that way."
"Does anyone?" She turned against him, throwing one arm over him as she did. "All I've ever wanted was a place to belong… even finding my family didn't really do that."
"You belong with me," Todd replied softly. "You belong with me and our family. We are where you belong… not in Dorian's collection of Cramers. Out of all of them, Blair, you're the only one who found a place that's yours. That idiot Kelly can't decide which Buchanan she wants to settle on for more than a year. Cassie… well, she made some bad choices, too. Maybe it's because of Dorian. Maybe they're both because of Dorian… it's not like your evil aunt has ever set an example of how to find a lasting love."
"No one in my life has ever set that example," Blair pointed out. "But I found it. And I have to say that you didn't exactly have that example either."
"Maybe that helped," he mused. "Maybe because we knew what we grew up with wasn't the real deal, it made it easier for us to find it."
Blair chuckled low in her throat and Todd sighed happily as the vibration of it coursed through his own body. "You must be very happy indeed, Mr. Manning, if you're going to be so generous as to call our relationship 'easy.'"
"Not easy," he squeezed her against him. "Easier. You know what I mean."
Blair let him have it. It wasn't worth arguing about even if any reference to 'easy' was the furthest thing their relationship had ever been. She raised up a little and kissed him deeply. "What do you say about another round for the road?"
Todd laughed softly. "How soon before we don't have to leave?"
"Very soon."
