Author Notes
This is a special chapter guest written by Takao-kun for April Fools Day with a few very minor changes by me. Big thanks for his contribution to my story.
Lavish Port
Hunter's Lodge
"Hunter Thomas, I have that icepack you requested." the Nursejoy stated while handing me an icepack for my rather nasty black eye.
I sat up just long enough to put the bag in place before laying back down on the couch. Cool, numbing relief pressed down onto my sore eye and I released a deep sigh.
"Thank you Joy." I expressed while burrowing deeper into the couch.
"You are welcome" she replied.
"So how are my girls doing while I am resting in here?" I asked while looking her over with my one good eyeball.
I would have to ask her later on if she would like a Taming as a more personal 'Thank you' for the services provided. I doubted she got enough attention as not many Hunters visited the lodges despite the fact that it was attached the pokecenter.
She raised up a clipboard she had been holding, no doubt expecting that I would want to know about my girls as soon as possible, and began reading off the report to me.
"Your Alpha Karen, the Arachnae, we had her remain in her tauric form so we could work on her injured legs. She has been cursing quite thoroughly about Piratits, Buttaneer, Psi-dykes and what she will do to if she sees them again great and vivid details".
"Your Beta Cecelia, the Milktit, while uninjured has offered to donate her milk to the PokeCenter and is currently being milked, from the amount of moans she is making I would say she enjoying it more than a Level 2 Taming Cycle." She read off while squirming a little from the implications.
"Yes, I am sure Cecelia appreciate you taking that load off her chest." I laughed a little at the joke knowing that Cecelia always got more pleasure from nursing and suckling of her breasts than anything other form of Taming.
Joy giggled at my joke for a minute or two, before taking a deep breath calm to her fits of giggling and continuing her report.
"Pamela, your Boobisaur, we had give her a strong sedative/painkiller so that we could work on her vines that got cut off during the fight. A plant growth paste was applied to the severed ends and any cuts along the length of the vines. She has been placed out back in our greenhouse; several hours of sunlight while being in a flora-rich environment will finish healing her by the time the drugs wear off".
I would have to be gentle with Pamela for the next few days, damn pirate bitches had hacked off her vines when she had been attempting to restrain them. One of them had even gone so far as to threatened to cut off Pamela's bulb. I had shot that bitch in the face with large caliber Electric round, pretty sure I had fried her brain with the discharge.
Joy cleared her throat to draw my attention back to her and out of my memories of the fight.
"Amber, your Catgirl, maybe be suffering a concussion as she has been rather lethargic and unresponsive to our efforts. While talking about 'joy-joy' didn't study hard enough." She told me in a rather somber tone.
I took a deep breath knowing what was wrong with Amber.
"She is just really depressed right now, we may have won the fight, but me and some her harem sister were hurt pretty bad. Just put her out back with Pamela and give her hours. Once the rest of us are better I am sure her mood will recover too".
She nodded at that and scribble a note onto the clipboard.
"Catherine, your Growlie, has been given a bath to wash the blood out, had her teeth and claws cleaned, and will recover from her injuries with sufficient bed rest. She has been returned to her ball. You can pick her up at the front desk when ever you are ready".
I shuddered some at the memory. Growlies were known for their Loyalty; Loyalty to their Master and Loyalty to their Pack and there was no faster way to piss them off than to attack both. I knew that some of the Pirate Pokegirls were now missing limbs. I did not feel much remorse for them, but it had been the first time I had ever seen Catherine act that way. Of course it was also the first time any Pokegirls had harmed and threatened such harm on my girls that way too. Those girls had been on a whole different level than what we had encountered before.
"Hunter Thomas?" the gentle voice of Joy interrupted my internal musing again. I looked up at her again. "If you will just let me finish my report then I can leave you to get some rest".
I nodded at her, while my cheeks heated from shame.
"Sandra, your Sexshrew, was given a sponge bath to clean her off, Potion soaked bandages were applied where she her hide had been cute. Her claws have been cleaned and filed as needed. She then requested to be returned to her ball, give a Sexshrew's nature we did so. Her ball is waiting for you at the front desk."
"Finally your Trixie, Barbara Ann 'Babs', despite her loud wailing of agony was not actually injured although her costume was torn up. Upon being told this she stopped screaming, apologized, and went to work repairing her costume. She has since gone on to entertain the various Tamers and Pet Owners that are waiting in Lobby of the PokeCenter. We are very grateful for her efforts of distraction".
"On a more personal matter you should have gone to the hospital, considering the extent of your injures." She stated while glaring at me.
She was giving me the look that every woman instinctively knew how to convey to a man A look that said 'You have done something stupid, and are refusing to get proper help. You silly man'
In reply I laughed at her, it was hollow laugh, it was just a reminder of a bad joke that always came back to me. I then sat up to give her a good look at me while removing the icepack from my eye. I knew the extent my injures: black eye, split lip, both sides of my face were swollen from slaps, ribs bruised, sternum bruised, my left arm had been dislocated and reset.
The only reason none of my ribs weren't broken was the Concussion Vest lying on the table in front of the couch.
"I can't due to my Shady Character Blood Curse. Because of it no human being will ever trust me and at worst they will be absolutely convinced I am up to something evil. That's why I came here, it has no effect on pokegirls. Well it works on Dark and Infernal types but they're attracted by it" I said, almost growling while doing so.
The Joy had backed away from me during my rant and was waiting to see what I would do next. I took a deep breath and sat back down on the couch. I then pulled out a tall canteen from my pack and took a long drink from it. Cecelia's healing milk, kept fresh and cold inside the container calmed me as I drained the canteen dry.
"Sorry, just had bad day" I apologized "I came here because I knew I would get treatment, exclusive treatment at that, and get my girls healed too".
As I put the canteen on the table before laying back down on the couch. I realised that I could really use a few hours of sleep.
"At a hospital I may have been the last patient seen or even turned away because they said they are full" I finished.
Which would be a lie. Hospitals didn't turn people away.
"Very well sir, though in the future I would suggest avoiding getting into a duel with a Piratit." She amended as she head for the door turning lights down low in the room. Looking back at me as she opened the door.
"I ordered my girls that we would not let any of them through to the Docks, Limbec Pirates or Sanctuary forces, we would not allow them to reach those boats and get away. Had the compare that Piratit to a scared little Kunoichi running away like a coward to piss her off enough to come back and kick my ass before I manage to Taser her. I never ask anything of my girls I wouldn't do in their place." I explained answering the question I knew she had really been asking.
She shut the door after having heard me and I place my icepack back on my black eye as I drifted off to sleep.
(Line Break)
Lavish Port
Hunter's Lodge
I awoke some time later with a deep breath interrupting snort and a spasm of my arm hitting the table in front of the couch. While the painful flare up my arm certainly woke me up. What had set me off was someone attempting to quietly open the door to the Hunter's Lodge.
Because of having a Trixie, Catgirl, and Arachnae all in the same harem, and because each of them had different sense of humour, I had quickly developed a sense of when someone was attempting to sneak up on me in my sleep. There was only so many times I a man could deal with being bound up in the middle of my Archnae's web. My masculine pride could only take me screaming like a little girl so many times.
The NurseJoy had returned and was leading a Hunter into the lodge. She looked as if she was disappointed that the new visitors had woken me up as they made their entrance
"Hunter Thomas this is Hunter Gothic. Hunter Gothic this is Hunter Thomas" she introduced us to one another while I was sitting up.
I watched him and waited for the reaction of my Blood Curse to take effect. It always went the same way. The shift in stance from passive to defensive, the eyes to tighten into a glare, and the face to turn into a barely concealed sneer . . . . a moment passed . . . then two and still nothing . . . . no change in expression.
He simply nodded at me and then looked over the rest of the room over, only stopping to let his eye linger on my gear, which was scattered all across the big table that was in front of the couch.
While surprised I managed to return his nod of my own. Which caused icepack on my eye fall. It hit the floor and I went to pick it up, this also gave me the chance to recover from my shock at meeting someone that was unaffected by my Blood Curse. By now ice had melted and was now just a water bag so I handed it to Joy,
"Thanks Joy, I am sure we will be fine from here." I manage to convey, still a little surprised by current events.
As she left us I recalled that there were only three types of humans that were unaffected by the Blood Curse Shady Character. Those that had the same Blood Curse, those that had Blood Gifts powerful enough to counter the influence of the Blood Curse, and finally those who had the Phase 2 or 3 Pokeboy Gene as they simply had too much Pokegirl DNA to be affected by the Blood Curse.
I immediately discarded the Pokeboy theory due his appearance, and because Pokeboys were extremely rare. Having the same Blood Curse wasn't the answer either, as he didn't have the look that came with being rejected by the rest of humanity. So that left him possessing some very powerful Blood Gifts to counter my Blood Curse. I couldn't remember the last time I had the chance to have a civil conversation with another male.
While I had been thinking Gothic had finished visual inspection of the lodge and had discovered the fridge. He was in the process of making a sandwich, and seemed to quite comfortable here.
"The perks of being Hunter." I called out to him.
"I didn't even know the Guild had these" the darkly dressed Tamer remarked.
Few people did. The Hunter's Guild wasn't in the habit of telling people. Only members who had earned the respect of older hunters got to learn everything about the guild.
"There aren't that many even in this region" I explained as I leaned back into the couch "normally we stay in hotels or at the homes of our associate members. But a few cities have a lodge attached to the pokecenter. It's handy if we get really banged up in a fight".
I then did a few stretches feeling that most of injures I had were now just dull aches of pain. Which gave my fellow hunter a chance to finish making his snack.
Once I was done I saw that Gothic was coming over here so I moved aside some of my gear that was on the table to clear a spot for him set down his meal. He put his food down and took the chair opposite me.
"Got enough gear here? I think you are a few grenades short of being Rambo?" he said with a smirk on his face.
I didn't know who Rambo was, but I knew that he was joking me with.
"Oh I had a few flashbangs with me, but I gave them to Babs, my Trixie, so she could sow some chaos among Pirates we were fighting." I explained.
The news made the hunter choke on his sandwich, apparently he hadn't expected me to have grenades in the first place.
"Why do you have so much gear in the first place?" he asked after managing to get his sandwich down.
"I cant quite remember were I got everything" I said truthfully, as I really couldn't "I was taught not rely on the strength of others to make up for your own weakness. People say when a human fights a pokegirl in most cases it is a forgone conclusion that the pokegirl would win. They may be stronger, faster, and have access to powers we can only dream of having, so we have to be smarter and more cunning than them to survive".
Most Hunters learned this early on, those that didn't were either very lucky or they died very quickly.
"I have a large Elemental Pistol single shot that can fire Incendiary, Cyro, Electric, Toxic, Magic, and Blessed rounds. Most of the damage done is from using the proper element against the right pokegirl." I explained while handing him one of the Incendiary rounds. "I've also got a high voltage taser, an extendible baton, an 18 inch combat knife, a Concussion Vest, and all the rest. I'm well prepared for the eventuality that I will end up in a combat situation without my girls. I am not going down with out a fight and if nothing else it will buy time".
Gothic seem to contemplate what I had said a for few moments, looked like he was about to say something before changing his mind and saying something else.
"The Nursejoy said you got into a duel with Piratit, seeing as how she is in jail and you are here you must be doing something right." he conceded as I started putting away most of my gear.
Gothic's face changed to an expression that meant he had a question.
"You said earlier that you gave flashbangs to your Trixie, is that the same Trixie I passed in the lobby on the way in?" he asked as I was packing up.
"Depends; was she in a pink costume, with two long hat tails with bells attached, doing various impressions of Pokegirls, crazy party tricks, and acting like a hyperactive loon?" I questione.
At his nod at I grinned.
"Nope, never seen her before in my life" I answered.
He laughed at my joke before, explaining why he'd wanted to know.
"Last I saw of her she was juggling spare pokeballs before she slipped sending them all into the air and they all came crashing back down on her head one right after another. Unfortunately for her one of them wasn't empty and she manage to wake a Tigress from her nap. She ended up being chased around the lobby by what she was calling a 'poor cranky putty tat' before the Nursejoy lead me in here".
Now I was falling over on the couch laughing, even when I wasn't around Babs manage to get into trouble all on her own.
"Oh if you think that was funny let me tell you how I caught her on All Fools' Day." I manage to get out between deep breaths.
Gothic leaned back in his chair getting ready for my story.
"Originally for All Fools' Day I had planned to stay inside my hotel room with my girls, but that Trixie wrecked those plans when she dressed up as one of the maids and claimed to be room service with my complimentary breakfast for Tamers. I took the top off the platter and . . . . SPLAT! I got a pie to the face, I flicked my tongue out to taste it and discovered that it was Coconut Cream Pie. Which I hate and the entire time she is cackling at me like a mad 'girl"
"My Growlie, Catherine, attempted help clean me by licking it off me my face, she actually seemed to enjoy the flavor. Anyway a towel worked better for cleaning it off, and I ordered my Growlie, Catgirl, and Arachnea to get the Trixie We chased her down the hall, but she got to the elevators first and was blowing kisses goodbye as the doors shut on us".
My fellow Hunter was smiling by now, so I felt that it was okay to carry on with the story.
"Seeing she was heading down to the Lobby we flew down the stairs and we were ready to ambush her when she came out of the Elevator. Only she didn't come out of the elevator some snobby uptown woman came out. As I was watching her go, cause she's got an ass that you just had to watch when she's walking away, and one of her jiggle bells fell out from under her hat and we chased her out onto the streets during All Fools' Day".
"Have you ever been out on All Fools Day?" I stopped to ask "I mean out and about in the bigger cities?"
Gothic shook his head, so I took the time to tell him what I could.
"All Fools' Day isn't really something you can really explain in words, you really have to experience it yourself. It is chaos without rhyme or reason; someone is about to be pranked, someone is being pranked, someone has been pranked. When we stepped out onto the streets, within moments we had to dodge a pokegirl being set flying into the hotel's front door. What followed was several pies being thrown, followed by a water balloon counterattack from pokegirls inside the building".
I paused for a moment to reminisce about that fight.
"The Trixie was waiting for us down the street swaying from side to side, with her hands beside her head waving at as us, and sticking her tongue out. My Catgirl, Amber, does the same damn thing when taunting her opponents. Anyway my Growlie and Catgirl rushed toward her with my Arachnae and I following close behind. So we were chasing her and we had to dodge various hazards, people, and pokegirls. You know trash cans, pranks items, prank victims, passed out drunks that had decided they couldn't handle All Fools' Day sober, and anyone she was able convince to slow us down."
"At one point she turned into an alleyway and we all thought we had her only it turned out it wasn't a dead end like we had expected and she was waiting for us at the end of the alley. My Growlie attempted to pounce on her to catch her for me . . . . and she smashed face first into a wall, the alley was a dead end. Only the wall was invisible. She'd convinced a witch to cast an invisibility spell on it".
Gothic chuckled upon hearing that.
"Amber almost caught up to her at one point later on when we were chasing her down until the Trixie doused her with catnip and that makes her useless for hours, so I had to ball her. Luckily there is some kind of truce from noon until one to give everyone the chance to stop and eat, and to let the Trixies and Harlequins to prepare more pranks. At one the truce ended and the pranks began again. We got separated from the Trixie by a parade/marching band, well Catherine and I did. Karen my Arcahnea took her battle form and jumped clear over the parade. After it passed Catherine had to track down Karen and the Trixie by scent. Karen had manage to surprised the Trixie by jumping over the parade and had her all wrapped up in webbing, but I knew that this wouldn't hold the Trixie for long as they're escape artist and this was All Fools' Days so she would only stick around as long as it was funny. So I had find a funny way to capture her".
"What did you do?" Gothic inquired.
"Well I pulled out a Pokeball and order the Trixie to get into the Pokeball. Only she was like 'I don't wanna get into the Pokeball' so I said 'Get into the Pokeball' 'I don't wanna get into the Pokeball' she says so I say 'Get into the Pokeball' That's when I use reverse psychology and say 'You don't want to get into the Pokeball' and it works as she says I wanna get into the Pokeball' then I said 'You DON'T want to get into the Pokeball' and she starts screaming 'I WANNA get into the Pokeball' so I start shouting
'YOU DON'T WANT TO GET INTO THE POKEBALL!'
Gothic was laughing at this point, and it felt good to hear another human being being so cheerful around me.
"By then she'd freed herself from Karen's webbing and she snatchs the Pokeball out of my hand, and screams at me saying 'WHEN I WANNA TO GET INTO THE POKEBALL THAT MEANS I WANNA GET INTO THE POKEBALL RIGHT NOW!' then she pressed the activation button on the Pokeball. I swear as she went in she had this dumbfounded expression on her face right before she got sucked in. The Pokeball rocked for well over a minute before going still. Later she told me she was having a laughing fit inside the ball".
My tale finished I went digging into my pack for another canteen of milk as my throat had become dry while telling my story. Gothic meanwhile was double over laughing, trying to breath, and get out "
You! . . . . She! . . . ." before losing it again in laughter.
Babs would be proud that even a just story of her could incapacitate people in laughter.
By the time I had finished off the canteen Gothic had most regained control, though there was a few chuckling coughs from him.
"Wait, so you managed to trick a Trixie into capturing herself on All Fools Day, and you have had her ever since?" was Gothic's next question."Yep." I responded as I packed away more of my gear,
"Why? You interested in her? Cause I'll tell you as much as I love how much laughter she brings me, lifts my spirits on after bad, and does revenge pranks on a lot of the people that she think are mean to me. I just cant keep up with her . . . . emotional that is. . . . I've got the Blood Gifts of Endurance and Recovery so physically I've got no problems Taming her, but she is happy, upbeat, and is always looking for her next prank"
It was tiring on my spirit and mind to try to be as happy as Babs wanted me to be and she thought she wasn't doing her job if I was sad or depressed. Which made me feel worse for not being able to take care of her properly.
"Well I do have one space left in my harem and I think my ladies could use a few laughs. We've all had some bad times lately. Even when we try to relax something seems to go wrong".
I didn't need to ask to know what he'd been through. I'd seen a few hunter's with that expression on their faces. At least when they didn't know I was looking at them.
"How about I introduce you to Babs my Trixie and if she wants to go along with you, then we can work out a price" I offered while putting on my black steel toed boots.
I quickly put on my trench coat and grabbed my pack as we headed out of the Hunter's lodge and entered the pokecenter, Gothic went toward the front desk to retrieve his Pokegirls while I went to find Babs. She was over in a corner stuffing her pranks, gags, joke items, party tricks, juggling balls, and various tools of her trade into her Bag of Tricks. Which was an enchanted bag big enough to hold all of her stuff since she wasn't powerful enough to use Hammerspace yet.
Babs, run out of people to entertain?" I asked as she finished loading her Bag of Tricks.
She bounced up excitedly and swiftly embraced me in a hug.
"Oh silly Master, there is always someone that need a joke, prank, or a pie to someone's else face to make them laugh! I just saw you coming this way and thought it was best that I clean up my act!" she giggled as though I had asked a funny question.
I smiled at her joke and patted her on the head causing her bells to jiggle.
"The Nursejoy told me pass on to you thanks from them for distracting all the Tamer and Pet Owners while their Pokegirls were being healed." I told her and watched her preen from the attention.
"Babs, listen I met a man that needs some comedy in his life. He saw you preforming earlier and he thought you were really funny, especially after I told him about our meeting on All Fools' Day."
As I spoke I watched her face shift serious face, curious face, eager face, proud face, and thoughtful face. She then stood there think for a few moments before coming to a realization.
"You're . . . . getting rid . . . . of me!" gasping out between hiccups of breath and looking up at me with teary eyes and pouty lips before burying her head in her hands, and wailing"
Her cry was loud enough to inform everyone one in the Lobby. My palm meet my forehead with a loud clap before I drag it down my face and let out an exasperated sigh.
I then pulled out a cloth rag and handed it to her. She promptly took it, wiped her eyes, blew her nose into it sounding very similar to a trumpet, and handed it back to me. I received it with two fingers and dropped into a nearby biohazard.
"Barbara Ann!" I then said sternly.
As those two words left my mouth Babs stiffened and stood up straight. I put my hands on her shoulders and looked her straight in eye.
"You know damn well that I would never get rid of any girl I claim as my own and I would kill anyone that tried to take you from. I just want you to met this guy and decide for yourself if you want to help him or not".
Her face changed from sad into a gleeful expression with a wide grin.
"Oh I know Master, I was just teasing you. I just really like when you get all overprotective of us. Now, where is this guy you want me to meet"
I pointed him out at the front desk as he received his pokeballs and promptly release one of them.
"He's the one with grumpy Sorceress, he really needs a some laughter. Will you help me with a prank for him?"
I nodded as she began whispering into my ear.
Several minutes later I was sitting in one of the Lobby chairs. I had pulled my hoodie attachment out of my Trench Coat and had it covering my head. My face mostly hidden from view as I looked down at the floor as Gothic approached with his Sorceress and stood in front of me.
"So did she decide against it? I think everyone heard her crying while you were talking to her." He questioned while shifting from foot to foot.
I didn't look up, didn't respond, had to play the part, and also his Sorceress had some really nice legs.
A few moments passed where everything was still and just as Gothic looked like he was raising his arm to shake me there was sudden noise; a deep intake of breath through a tube, followed by a click, then a hiss of air being released. Gothic went very still with a wide eye look before slowing turning around at what was behind him.
I slowly looked up focusing my eyes past them to Babs. Gone was her pink jester outfit with bells; now she was wearing a black skin tight cat suit, with my gas mask on her face, my spare black trench coat hanging off of her shoulders, and she had a first aidbox with lots of button attached to her suit just below her breasts. Just looking at her brought on a strong sense of deja vu for Gothic I could tell and was happy that someone else shared my taste for centuries old movies.
Gothic and his Sorceress stepped aside; one in shock from what he was seeing and the other out of dull curiosity to see where this was going. Babs stepped forward and dropped to one knee in front of me
"What is thy bidding, My Master?" Her voice having taken on a deep and echoing quality to it.
" There is a grave disturbance in The Laughter." I spoke with a gravelly voice repeating the words she had told me to speak.
By now Gothic had recovered from his shock and was smiling.
"I have felt it" she stated
Only a really good prank could get her to act this serious.
"One of great Grumpiness has emerge, if The Laughter is to prevail she must be defeated!" I spoke as Gothic looked to me then Babs.
Then realization crossed his face glanced at his Sorceress. He put his hand over his mouth to cover his chuckling.
"But, if she could be turned, she would be a powerful ally" my Trixie suggested while Gothic had put his fist in his mouth to stop from laughing.
"Yes . . . . yes. That would be a great asset." I declared.
By now Gothic's shoulders were shaking from barely contained laughter.
"She will join us or be tickled, My Master." Babs finished before turn to the Sorceress and drawing out a long red feather.
"The Grumpinss is strong within you, but it not compared to the full power of The Laughter." Babs in a quick flourish of feather tickles in few unusual ticklish spots.
Her actions resulting in snorting laugh from the Sorceress before she falls into a giggling fit. Rather than save the spell caster her Tamer was just laughing loudly. I join in the laughter and once again Babs proves that her unusual ideas worked.
Once the trick was done Trixie left to go put on her usual attire, perhaps because of the way the Sorceress had been glaring at her.
Gothic and I finalized the sell. He paid me a lot more than what Babs would worth be worth at the Pokeexchange. I almost refused the offer until he explained that he money to spare, and that he wanted to help out a fellow hunter.
As we were are saying goodbye I handed over an Everstone to him.
"This is for Babs when she evolves into a Harlequin. Use it because if I find out that for any reason you let Bab becomes a Jokette I will hunt you down and use you for bait to turn her into a Mary Ann Drew." I warned.
Perhaps it didn't need to be said, but Jokette's are extremely dangerous. Many a person had suffered because some fool had wanted to evolve his Harlequin in the hopes of getting a more powerful pokegirl.
"I understand" was his reply.
As Gothic began to leave Babs rushed back to me and handed me a gift wrapped present.
"Something to remember me by." she says before give me a kiss and running off to join her new Tamer.
As soon as she was out of sight I untieed the ribbon and bow, and for my effort I received a pie to the face. I flick out my tongue to taste it.
"Coconut Cream Pie" I growled "I REALLY HATE COCONUT!"
