A/N: My name, unfortunately, is not J.K. Rowling. Therefore I did not invent this marvelous place called Hogwarts, therefore I have no rights to this story except for the plot and my own characters.

Hi guys,

I have had the worst writer's block EVER. Seriously, I have the whole story scheduled out in my head and it is going to be fabulous, but I can't get the words out?!

It's horrible and as if that's not absolutely and utterly meh I have barely been able to sleep.

And that's going to be why this chapter is going to be such utter crap too, but oh well, I am over it. I'll edit it after this story is finished, which is going to be on the first of August!

Because I have decided to end this story the way it started with 1.7k words a day! (Who is excited? I am!) I check my tumblr almost every minute - I am addicted and I am ashamed - so if there's a day that I do not update (aka a day that I will be behind schedule because I have exactly 15 days and 15 chapters left) you have my permission to stalk me, poke me, throw rotten tomatoes at me, whatever you like. Because I need my ass kicked into gear and now that my writer's block seems to have left the premises, I'm going to jump right in. My username is pranksterprongs so feel free to nudge me if I forget to update again. (Also there are some Jily drabbles on there if you're into that sort of thing!)

That being said, I know that there are some of you who immensely enjoy reading smut (*waggles eyebrows*) and those of you who don't. There is some light smut in this chapter so you have been warned.

Thank you to all of the amazing new readers that have followed and favorited me! A huge thank you to all of you who have reviewed this story so far. And most importantly thank you to all of you for sticking with me. We started this journey in November and I'm beyond grateful that you're all still here with me eight months later!

I hope your holidays are fabulous, guys!

Love,

Kelly


Chapter 49

But I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before
I'm gonna love you like I'm indestructible

~ Indestructable - Robyn

Dear Lily,

How have you been? It feels like ages since we last spoke, and that's partially my fault. I must admit that I'm sulking about a certain person - yes, I know, you were right! - and I've been avoiding any and all owls. I've decided to face my problems head on, partially because I'm spending the Summer at the Potters' now and I can't exactly run away from someone I'm living with.

I know that your mouth is probably agape right now and I can't say I blame you. It came as a surprise to me as well, and I can't say why I'm spending the holidays with them now. At least not through owl, but I will tell you face to face when I see you again.

Since I can't stay over like we first agreed, I was wondering if you would fancy going to Diagon Alley with me to buy some supplies for the new school year? I must see you, Lily! It's simply been too long.

I hope to see you soon!

Love,

Nika

"Have you finished writing your letter, dear?" Mrs. Potter asked me after I'd given it to the family owl and joined her in the dining room.

"Yes, thanks again for letting me use your owl," I said quickly. We'd been busy all day with getting me settled in my room and studying baby photos of James. (He had been such a chubby child. Who would have thought?!)

Mrs. Potter gave me another one of her worried looks; the ones she had been sending me throughout the entire day, the ones I pretended to ignore. "Oh, you're welcome to him anytime."

She took a sip from her tea and was about to tell me something when she saw what I was looking at. It was a recent picture of the Marauders, and my eyes were immediately drawn to one laughing Sirius Black. He looked genuinely happy, and I couldn't be more thrilled to see him like this.

"He's a good lad," Mrs. Potter said just as we were finishing our tea.

"I'm very lucky," I told her with a genuine smile. I knew I was.

Mrs. Potter gave me a broad grin. "We all are," she said with a happy twinkle in her eyes. "So, tell me about this Lily Evans lass. Is she really as beautiful as the goddess of love? Or was that my son's way of telling me he's irrevocably smitten and asking my permission to marry her?"

I burst into laughter. "He's irrevocably smitten, Mrs. Potter, that's for sure. I doubt that he will let your permission determine whether he'll marry her or not. I think even Lily barely has the power to stop him."

Mrs. Potter frowned at that. She seemed to hesitate before asking her next question, but she went ahead after a short pause anyway. "He is behaving himself, right? He's not really... bothering her? Making her feel uncomfortable?"

Now I was the one hesitating. How was I going to tell Mrs. Potter that Lily felt uncomfortable on most days? I decided to tell the truth. "He's getting better."

Mrs. Potter studied me for a moment before giving me a firm nod of her head. "Good. I would hate to have to interfere on his part."

I admired her greatly in that moment. It was obvious to anyone that Mrs. Potter adored her son, and, yet, she wasn't naive enough to let her love blind her. She knew he had flaws and she took care of them. She wanted to know that he wasn't causing any real trouble for Lily. I was quite sure that if I told Mrs. Potter then and there that Lily felt harassed, stalked and extremely uncomfortable around him, she would put a stop to James' behaviour. She'd try to make sure that he never came near her again.

That was a quality I could admire in a person.

We both took another sip of our tea. We didn't have to wait long for the boys to arrive and to say that I was a bit nervous would be an understatement. I'd been told that the boys didn't know I was here. When I'd asked about Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter had quietly informed me that he was spending the next six months in the USA with distant relatives for his health. Mrs. Potter had chosen to stay behind, but apparently James was having difficulties.

"I'm glad he has his mates," Mrs. Potter had said, nodding faintly. I wondered how she fared now that she was suddenly left on her own. Having a House Elf looking after you wasn't nearly the same as having a husband caring for you, I figured, and James was at Hogwarts for the better part of the year. She must get lonely, right?

I didn't dare say anything else on the matter though.

I took another sip of my tea and was about to ask her about any advice she might have on boys for a friend, when the front door banged open.

"Mother dearest, we are home," Sirius Black shouted into the great void of the Potter mansion.

"That's my mother you're sweet talking, you sly dog."

Sirius started laughing loudly, and Mrs. Potter cracked another one of her radiant smiles.

"In here, dears," she shouted back.

I heard them shuffling about and even heard something crash, to which Mrs. Potter only rolled her eyes, before a dishevelled James Potter stood in the doorway. He froze when he saw me sitting opposite his mother. "Oi, Padfoot?" he shouted without looking away from me.

"Little busy, mate!"

"You can take a piss later," James shouted back again.

"James Fleamont Potter," Mrs. Potter started, looking at her son in utter disgust, "we have a lady present!"

He coughed. "Right. Padfoot, you can do your walkies later, mate!"

I nearly drowned in my tea, and Mrs. Padfoot helpfully patted me on the back.

I'd just recovered when the love of my life finally appeared. "What did you say?"

James merely pointed at me and it was like the sun broke through on Sirius' face. He started beaming as he walked toward me. "Hey love," he said softly, before pulling me up in a hug. "Everything all right?"

"Now it is," I whispered back, feeling the weight of the last 48 hours fall off my shoulders. He kissed my forehead gently, gave me a look that promised more later and then James was hugging the breath out of me.

"I'm sorry I didn't greet you properly earlier," he said happily into my hair. "Marauders' Code of Honour!"

"The what, now?" I asked laughingly as I tried to escape his arms.

"Oh," Sirius said, glaring at James, "that's just something we came up with while we were at Remus'."

"Well, Padfoot, if you weren't such a sissy-"

"Well, you're one to talk, Princess Prongs!"

They glared at each other for a moment, before James turned to me with a big grin.

My eyes met Mrs. Potters' for a brief moment, before I raised an eyebrow at their vague explanation and their weird behaviour.

"So, not that we aren't thrilled to have your sunny self among us, Nika, but why are you here?" James asked me.

"She couldn't stand to live without me, obviously," Sirius said, before he bent down to kiss Mrs. Potter's cheek in greeting.

"Hello, darling," Mrs. Potter said to Sirius, to which James' grin only widened.

I had wondered throughout the whole day how James responded to the fact that in Mrs. Potter's eyes he really had a brother. I mean, I was an only child too. I don't know how I would have reacted in this kind of situation. I only know that I certainly wouldn't have been as big of a person as James is, I thought as I stared at how genuinely he looked at Sirius. They really are brothers, I mused.

"Now, James, be a doll and help your ancient mother upstairs. She's in a terrible need for a nap," Mrs. Potter said as she stood up from her seat.

"You're hardly ancient, mum," James said, rolling his eyes.

"James Fleamont Potter, if you do not take my hint and follow me out of this room right this instant, I will confiscate your broom for the next two centuries." She walked out of the room with a threatening look over her shoulder.

I loved that woman.

"I'm too old for threats like that," James replied as he followed her out nonetheless. "Besides, what are you going to do with my broom anyway? You're ancient!" he joked.

"I'll whack you on the head with it, is what I'll do," was the last I heard of their conversation.

"So boys really do fall in love with their mothers, hm?" I asked Sirius as I turned to him with a smile on my face. I couldn't help but note the similarities between Lily and Mrs. Potter, it was a bit eerie. I completely froze however when I saw the look he was giving me. He was at my side in a matter of mere seconds.

"Merlin," he prayed as he pulled me flush against his body. "I hope not."

I gasped as he connected my mouth to his in a smooth move and kissed the sense right out of me. My hand immediately cupped his cheek, and my thumb carefully, worshipfully even, caressed his cheekbone. I would never have thought to find myself in his arms again after all that had happened, and it was such a relief to feel the sensation of coming home again.

Because that was what home was to me. It wasn't a distinct sense of place, but rather the person currently pushing me against the wall. I opened my eyes to see that his were still closed as he kissed me. His tongue teased my lips gently, and I gladly provided him access. He groaned as his tongue battled mine for dominance and my eyes closed again. He pushed his body even closer to mine as if he couldn't stand to have the barest inch of distance between us anymore, and when we finally pulled away - because I have no idea who ended the kiss - we stared in each other's eyes as we waited for our senses to return.

"I missed you," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

I felt tears filling my eyes and saw the worry immediately appear in his. I grabbed his neck and pulled him to me again. I kissed him fiercely, because I needed him to forget all the questions I was sure he now had. I needed him to make me forget the last 48 hours until all that remained was him.

Was that healthy? Probably not, but it wasn't like I cared.

My lips trailed to his chin and then to his neck. He had his head thrown back slightly to give me better access as I explored his skin. Countless of dreams popped into my head but nothing could compare to the real thing. Sirius Black was a dream in his own right.

"I appreciate -" he stopped for a second as he gasped for breath.

I smiled against the soft spot behind his ear as I kissed it again. So he liked that, hm?

He cleared his throat and gently cupped my face in his large hands. His eyes were burning with desire for me, which was still such a difficult concept for me to grasp, that I momentarily froze. That was all he needed. "I appreciate what you are trying to do, Nika, but it isn't working."

I bit my lip worriedly and looked away. "I don't want to talk about it?" I offered.

He kissed my nose gently. "I'm not going to force you to, love. I understand the importance of a well-kept secret, I just wanted you to know that you don't have to keep them from me. My secrets are yours from now on if you want them to be."

My eyes widened as I stared at him. This wizard was charming the pants off of me, and I didn't even mind. Merlin, I didn't mind at all. "Do you even realize what it is you're saying?" I finally asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He smiled before showering my face with kisses. "I am going to fuck this up," he promised me.

I laughed hoarsely. "We both will," I agreed.

He kissed my temple and I melted. "I understand what I'm saying, Nika."

He wanted to share everything with me? I studied him carefully and wondered what to say or do next. This was fucking huge and I was just staring at him like an idiot with her mouth wide open. I must be quite the vision. "I know about Remus," I blurted out. Not where I had wanted to take things, but I can roll with this.

Besides, if Sirius wanted to share everything with me, then... I could do the same, right?

He blinked a couple of times but he didn't move away, which I took as a good sign. "Okay," he started cautiously. "What do you know?"

I cleared my throat. "That he is a werewolf."

He was absolutely expressionless. "And how do you feel about that?"

"Sorry," I replied, "I feel sorry that I didn't know." I hadn't known a lot of things. Remus Lupin was a werewolf and I didn't figure that out till six years after our first encounter. Regulus Black was actually quite all right and in need of a friend. Lily Evans had been in need of a friend as well, only she had wanted me to be that friend for years.

I was so stupid sometimes.

Sirius slowly stroked my cheek with the back of his hand. "And you're all right with him being a werewolf?"

"Him being a werewolf doesn't define him, Sirius. Remus is a kind and bright wizard. That is all I need to know."

He shook his head with a soft smile gracing his lips.

"What?" I asked.

"You, my dove, are most definitely nothing like my mother," he said before pushing me against the wall again with devilish intent in his eyes.

Oh my.