(Hello my lovely readers,
Thanks for being so patient with me. I have finals coming up and I have been really busy with other school things. Don't forget to check out my other story Coming In Waves that I posted on the website. Leave some reviews or message me to let me know what I can do better with the story and give me some things that you want me to include. Thanks for reading… be brave.)
Chapter 50
Eric POV
I slowly wake up to the sound of her breaths. Her red hair covering her face and her mouth is slightly open. I look to my left and there lies the many files I have to go through before I deal with the initiates. I kiss Lane on the forehead and slowly slide out of bed.
"Babe, what are you doing?" Lane asks in her groggy tone. She turns over with her now facing me.
"I have some things to deal with before we train the initiates. Go back to sleep. It's only six. You have time." I say and walk around the bed. I done hear her get up from bed so I know I can have some quiet. I love her, but I can never get any work done with her there looking as pretty as she does and her being amazing as she is.
Once I open the door, Tank's ears raise and he looks at me and leans his head. I pat his head and go to the kitchen. I make some coffee and sit down at my desk and read the first file. It was about an initiate named ZZ Cruz. She was from Erudite and her real name was Elizabeth. She was apparently not smart enough for them so she defected. I moved onto the next one and she was a dauntless born named Lou. I know her dad, nice guy. His name is Bud and he works with Tori at the tattoo parlor. I was going to move onto the next file, which I found out was on Rei, there was a knock on the door. Tank began to bark but then I shushed him. I walked to the door and then I saw it was no one other than Rei.
"Hey." I said as I opened the door. He was a tall brown haired guy. He looked nothing like Lane with her red hair and green eyes. He had brown eyes and I couldn't help but notice that he was a tad bit muscular than most Erudite that just transfer. I don't know this person, but I have to forge some sort of relationship with him. Lane did it with Nadi and now I have to at least try with Rei. "Come on in." I say finally moving out of the doorway. He looked around and the apartment was somewhat clean. Not up to Lane's standards of clean but clean nevertheless. "Come on, I'll show you around." I say and take him around the apartment. I show him the kitchen and the dining room, then the family room and reacquaint him with the living room and then onto the two bedrooms reserved for Koa and Karissa. Those rooms have cribs in them already, The walls in Koa's room is blue with a black lining and Karissa's is red with black lining. Lane thought pink wasn't fit for her daughter.
"Wow… you guys have really planned for these kids. How far along is Kat- Lane?" He asks correcting himself. He is way more accepting than Eleanor is with Lane's new life.
"She's three months right now. Well three months and two weeks and about a day along." I say as the proud father that I am. We walk back to the family room and I hand him a cup of coffee. "So, what brings you here at six thirty in the morning?"
"Well, I'm use to waking up at six every morning. But what brings me here is that I need your help."
"Here one day and already getting yourself into trouble? I'm impressed." I say and he just smiles.
"There's this girl that I met yesterday. She's amazing. She's smart and funny and amazing. But she's also stubborn and opinionated. I don't know Eric… it's just…"
"You're in love with her." I said confidently. Once the words leave my mouth he is appalled.
"no. Love is supposed to take time to develop. It's not supposed to happen in a day. It can't. You don't look at someone and instantly know that
"Well, then I think you should be dauntless and not so Erudite. That was my problem when I first came here. I thought through everything when the problem always was my head. I needed to get out of it, that's why I left Erudite in the first place. I needed something different and once I found out that was the problem, I worked through it. I may still have some Erudite in me. It will always be apart of me, but I'm dauntless first" I say and look at him. He's a good kid with pure intentions with this girl. I can see that and I hope he does too. When love comes around, you need to follow it and pretty soon it will lead you to happiness.
"Love is complicated Eric. It's not something that happens with just one night or just once look into her eyes. It's all the little things they do. Every step they take, every breath they take, you appreciate it and I don't know if I feel that with her."
"You're acting as if I've never been in love. You are talking to the man who married your very complicated sister with her very complicated family." I say referring to Jeanine and Eleanor. "I'm also a soon to be dad to not one but two kids."
"I get it." He says laughing. "I can see my sister loves you. I swear I don't even know why you would marry her considering the family connections that comes along with us."
"I never said I was perfect. I was a really bad person. If I told you what I've done, you wouldn't even get within a five mile radius of me. She accepts me, which is the main reason I love her. If your girl can do that, you got a good one."
"Eric, nothing you can do will top what my mother has done in her entire lifetime."
"I killed people. Not just one but at least a dozen and it was under your mother's orders." I say and his eyes widen. He doesn't speak, he doesn't move. I don't even think he's breathing right now. I had to tell him. I need to tell him who I am before he could even know who I've become. People deserve that much.
"Does Lane know?" He manages to get out.
"Yes. When we first started to see each other, I told her that I have done a lot of bad things and she was okay with it. But up until yesterday, she thought that I stole something or was like an alcoholic. She was smacked in the face with the truth."
"How did she react to this?" He asked still looking down at the floor.
"Pretty much the same way you would expect her to react. She ran and she needed time to cool off. We talked and well, I'm not that person anymore."
"When did you stop?"
"About four years ago." I say and he looks up at me with a face I cannot read.
"The war against the Divergent's." He asks and I nod. He stands up and paces the room, just like Lane does when she's stressed. "So, you worked with our mom?" I nodded again. "So you know what she did to our father?" I'm confused now. She told me that her mother killed her father, but I thought she was being melodramatic.
"What happened then? Lane was really vague about the subject."
"She would be…" he said and finally sat back down. He is being unordinary calm about the entire situation. "When I was about twelve, my father was still alive. He was closer to Lane and I rather than Eleanor. You can see why now, but one day they came into the living room with guards while our father was reading to us about the kinetic molecular theory. They started to handcuff him and they took him away. About a week later, we finally saw him again, being tested on by our mother. He eventually died, but it was a slow and cruel death and she dragged us along every damn time she did something to him. She always said 'he is dying for the future.'" He said and I can see the tear swelling up on the side of his eye.
"A year." Lane said at the doorway to our room. "We went there for an entire year. We watched him scream and yell at Jeanine and beg her to not let us watch that. She didn't listen. When he finally died, she didn't even spread the ashes, she just left them and eventually they threw them out." She moved over to us and she sat on my lap. Her legs draped over me with one hand on my chest and the other arm around my neck.
"He would be proud of us." Rei said as he touched her leg.
"So you told him? About your past?" She asks and I nod.
"He deserves to know who married into his family."
"Just don't try to kill me and we're good." He says and gives a slight smile.
"Well, we have to get ready for initiation. Rei, you can stay here and watch T.V or something." Lane says and he nods. She walks back into the room and he looks at me.
"The bookshelf is in the family room." I say and he smiles. He stands up and he walks to the family room. I turn and try towards the door.
"Eric…" he said stopping me. "I didn't know you when you did those things, but I see now that you are a decent guy. Lane wouldn't have married you if you weren't."
"Thanks Rei." I said and I went to the bathroom. He accepted me, I feel like I am living the good life. Anything I did isn't justified, but acceptance is the key to a happy life.
D POV
I was in the kitchen reading the new addition to my library, If I Stay by Gayle Foreman. It's a nice book that has a bunch of love and feelings. I've already cried two times and I'm not even done with the first hundred pages. Anastasia is already fed and Zeke hasn't even woken up yet. I like this time to have some peace. Even though I like being dauntless, I normally just sit, read and drink my coffee. I was just on the couch soaking in the silence with Chance at my side when I felt a kiss on my cheek.
"Hey gorgeous." Zeke said sitting next to me. "What's today's reading material?"
"If I stay by Gale Foreman." I say holding the book up to my cheek. "I cried like twice already."
"Is the sequel if I go?" He says laughing and I laugh a little. "So, we don't have to do the whole initiation thing, so we could spend the day just sitting and we could take Anastasia to the secret park…"
"We have to take Tj from Tris and Four today. And the rest of initiation as well."
"I know, but what do you want to do?"
"Well, all faction administrations are shut down to focus on the initiation, so I'm free,"
"Or, we could make Mark and Nadi watch the kids and we could have the day to ourselves." He says and raises an eyebrow.
"You already have the day planned don't you?" I ask already knowing the answer
"I might've already had something worked out…"
"Okay, I'm in. But can we do it after twelve? I haven't had the morning to myself in a while."
"Anything you want." Zeke says kissing my forehead. He then went to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast and I sat there enjoying the book.
Tris POV
Tobias and I were in the training room setting up for the first day of training. We normally take the job for setting up for stage one, I think it's our little tradition. We dropped Tj off at D's a little while ago. We still had fifteen minutes before we have to wake up the initiates. I was in the corner setting up the knives while he was adjusting something for the targets.
"hey babe, can you bring the other knives over here?" I ask not turning around.
"Sure." He says and I hear knives and the next thing I know, he's next to me putting the knives on the table. He organizes them and then he hugs me from behind. His touch, to this day, gives me goose bumps. The thought of his hands on me gives me butterflies. He moves my hair and kisses my neck "I still remember four years ago that you jumped down onto the net and you changed my world."
"I still remember the first time you told me that I was too skinny." I said and laughed.
"I was giving you advice not commenting on your perfect body." He says tightening his grip around my waist. "I loved you. Then and now. Nothing's gonna change that."
"Not even the harlot initiates?" I ask a little irritated. At least once a year, there is an initiate who tries to interfere with our relationship. It never works, but who knows? My guard will always be up around those sluts.
"They're irrelevant." He says resting his chin on the shoulder. "That ring is a promise; Forever and Always." I turn and kiss him on the lips. No matter how many times I do that, I will always love it. We unlock our lips and just smile at each other. Our foreheads touching, the silence saying everything we are thinking.
He holds my hand and I just smile. The door opens and it's Eric and Lane. "Hey." Eric says.
"Good Morning." I say and smile at them. "Who wants to wake them up?"
"I'll do it." Tobias says and I can see him going into his instructor mode yet again. He leaves the room and they walk to me.
"So, we come to that time of year where instructor four is resurrected." Lane says and we all laugh.
Zahara POV
I was dreaming of that mountain moving kiss that Justin and I had last night. I don't want to read too much into it. It would hurt too much if I imagined the whole thing. I was pulled out of my mind when I hear a pipe on the entrance of the room.
"Everyone in the training room in ten minutes." I hear my big brother yell. I open my eyes and I see Rei just sitting in his bed already dressed. I sit up and I walk to the communal bathroom. I brush my teeth and I get some cloths that were given to the dauntless initiates. I finish dressing and head out. I already know where the training room is, so I don't need someone to walk me there.
"Hey Z!" I hear Rei yell from down the hall. "Wait for me." I stop and turn around. I haven't talked to him since last night. I hope he talked to that girl because he was literally drooling over her. He finally catches up to me and gives me a hug.
"Well someone is very happy this morning. I hope it's due to the fact that you finally got some fucking balls and asked that girl out."
"Wow, same girl different faction. Are you ever going to stop cussing?" he asks as we make our way to the training room.
"Can you stop being a smart ass and just answer the damn question?" I ask and roll my eyes.
"Yes. She's really awesome. I think you would like her."
"It doesn't matter if I like her, all that matters is that you like her. So do you?"
"Yea. I do. Eric thinks I'm already in love with her, but you know that I don't believe at love at first sight type of nonsense."
"Well, you might want to start." I say and push him. "So you talked to Eric? So that must've meant that you talked to Lane…"
"Did you talk to four?" He asked.
"Yeah, I hung out with them after I left the girls. Oh yeah, I don't think you know…"
"Know what?" He asks and I just smile. I lift the right side of my shirt and immediately his facial expression was amazed and shocked all in one. "Oh my god!"
"Do you like it? I got it with this guy and he picked it out…" I began to say before he stopped me.
"Oh so Ash finally told you how he felt?" He asks and I have no idea what he is talking about. I think he could tell based on my facial expression. "You didn't? He didn't say anything to you?"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Never mind. So wait. Who's the guy you got the tattoo with?" He ask confused.
"Oh no, you don't get to be confused. I'm confused. Ash has feelings for me?"
"Yeah, he was suppose to tell you last night when I talked to Elena." He says and now I'm really confused. I have known Ash for a very long time and I had no idea he had feelings for me. "Just don't tell him I told you. So who's this guy?"
"His name is Justin. He's a dauntless born." I say and we keep walking. We finally get to the training room and Rei walks in but someone tugs on my arm. I trip and fall into him.
"You are really clumsy aren't you?" He asks and I instantly know the voice as the manly seductive voice that Justin has. I look up and there he is looking all perfect; with his perfect green eyes and dark brown hair.
"Shut up." I say adjusting myself. He laughs and flashed his enticing grin. "So, what's up?" I ask nonchalantly.
"I wanted to know if you want to eat lunch with me today. You know, just the two of." He asks and I think he's blushing a little.
"Sure." I say and smile at him. I realized that he could be as nervous as I am. But the truth is, its accelerating. "I have to go. I swear, my instructors will kill me if I'm late. Or make me hang over the chasm or something."
"You have Eric, so it's more than likely." He says and grabs my hand. "So I'll see you later?"
"Till then…" I say and he kisses me. It's a soft kiss, but a kiss nonetheless. He looks me in the eyes which normally I would feel intimidated by, but right now it feels right. I don't know how long we stare at each other, but all I know is that I could do it for an eternity.
"Initiates, get where you're suppose to go." I hear someone yell from down the hall and then Justin looks frightened. I look and it's no one other than my big brother. He walks towards us but Justin never releases my hand.
"I'll see you later." He whispers into my ear and goes down the hall to the dauntless born training room. After he leaves my brother is face to face with me. Well not really, he's at least a foot taller than me. "What do you think you're doing?" He asks in a scary tone. He doesn't scare me though. All my years with Marcus didn't make me afraid of people, it made me want to face my problems head on.
"Tobias, I'm not a little kid."
"You should be focusing on initiation right now." He says, his tone unchanging. "I mean, you could become factionless and have to be with him again…"
"Okay." I said trying to calm him. "I am focused. It's my first day of training Tobias. I haven't even been taught anything yet."
"Zahara." His tone back down to a regular person's "I just want you to stay here."
"I will." I say and punch his arm. "Okay, now go back to that scary instructor voice to scare the piss out of these people." I walk in first and head over to Rei. Tobias soon follows after me and walks over to Tris and the rest of the instructors.
"Okay initiates." Eric yells. "today is your first day of training and you will be learning to accurately throw a knife. Over the course of the next week and a half, you will be ranked over your actions, also how well you are competent on what we do here in dauntless."
"The lowest ranking initiates will be leaving us at the end of the first stage. Work hard and maybe you'll stay." Lane says
"We will teach you how to properly throw a knife. Yet, we don't give a damn how you throw a knife if you can throw it accurately." Tris says. "Four, would you like to show them?"
"Of course." He says and they walk to the targets together. They are so cute together. My big brother has a life here; a wife, a son, a job. I'm glad that he's accepting me, but I also want him to let me be an adult.
When they finally get to the targets, Tris keeps walking. Tobias gets three knives and gets ready to throw. Tris stands in front of the target and he winds his arm back. I look at Rei and he looks back at me. I don't know why he's doing this. What the hell is going on?
"Ready six?" Tobias asks. She nods and then he throws the knife. I gasp and close my eyes. In about three minutes, Rei forces me to open my eyes and then I just walk to my target. It takes forever to get to lunchtime. So far I've gotten to the middle of the target. It's not that hard but my shoulder hurts a little. Lane came by to give me some tips, but other than that, I didn't talk to anyone I just focused. Tobias is right, I need to focus on getting into dauntless.
"Okay initiates, that's lunch. Be back here in an hour." Eric yells and everyone leaves. I stay behind to pick up the knives I threw. I picked them up and set them down at the starting point.
"Zahara." I heard someone call my name. I turn around and it's Tobias and Tris. They are looking at me with compassionate eyes and huge smiles. I walk over to them and their facial expressions stay unchanging.
"Why the hell are you guys looking at me like that?" I ask confused.
"Well, I hear that you have a boyfriend…" Tris says
"Tobias!" I yell. "He's not my boyfriend."
"oh, might want to tell that to the guy that's standing outside of the door." Tobias says which makes me smile. "but before you go, I have to tell you something."
"okay, what is it?" I ask
"I'll tell you at dinner. But, right now, I think you need to go with that guy. But tell him that your brother will rip off his head if he hurts you." I smile at this. He's being the protective older brother that he couldn't be in Abnegation. I walk to the door and there he is, looking perfect as usual.
"Hey." I say and he smiles. "Thanks for waiting."
"No problem. I already got us some lunch. I want to take you somewhere." He says and grabs my hand. We walk down so many hallways until we finally get to our destination. The net.
"Justin, what are we doing here?" I ask and he just smiles at me. He takes me to the net. He brings the bag of food onto the net along with him. He gives me his hand and pulls me up. We sit down and eat the deep fired burritos that he got from the pit.
"What is this called again?" I ask laughing because it's so good.
"A bufriedo. It's a deep fried burrito." (looking for Alaska reference) He says as I take the last bite. I drink some water and pop a piece of gum in my mouth. "So, Zahara. Tell me about yourself."
"Okay, I don't like general questions. It leaves too much room for lies." I say which is true. I have been lied to so many times and I never give anyone the opportunity anymore.
"No broad questions. How about this one? Have you ever been in love?"
"Oh that is a question indeed." I say and he just smirks. "why is everyone in such a rush to fall in love? I mean, I've read books about love and I don't get the big idea. I mean, love can turn into such a mess and I don't know if I'm ready to dive into that mess."
"you don't believe in love?"
"I believe in love. I just don't know how someone can handle those kinds of emotions. Love hurts. It makes you happy; and sad and angry. It's such a complication to deal with and I don't know how you just decide you are ready to fall in love."
"You cant just decide you are ready to fall in love; you just do. It's a risk."
"But risking your sanity? Is it really worth it?" I say and he touches my hand.
"You never know." He says and he moves closer to me. "So, do you like your tattoo?"
"I love it." I say and smile at him. "It really says a lot."
"You know, I never got a tattoo last night. I was thinking that you could come with me to get one tonight after dinner." He asks and makes eye contact with me. His eyes are mesmerizing and before my mind could come to a conclusion, my mouth was already saying "Yes, of course." He has done that twice to me. He smiles at me and raises his head a little bit and I meet him halfway for our lips to touch.
"Okay." I say parting us. "Now I get to ask you a question." He puts his pressure on his elbow and I lay my head on his chest. "What's your full name?"
"Are you just asking me question that that one guy asked that one cancer girl in that cancer love story that isn't about cancer?" He asks and I raise my head to look at him and nod. "That's cheating."
"I didn't know this was a game."
"Fine. My full name is Justin Keegan. No middle name, my parents thought it wasn't necessary."
"Well, any complicated history?" I inquire "Well, let me answer that question first."
"Okay…"
"My name is Zahara Eaton. My father was Marcus Eaton from Abnegation. I…"
"You don't have to tell me all of this." He says moving his hand to touch my cheek. I look at him and he isn't afraid, he's compassionate. "If you want to keep your past in the past, I have no problem with that."
"I want to tell you. It's something I want you to know." I say and touch his hand "My mother died giving birth to me. My older brother defected four years ago to dauntless and my father…"
"Is that why you have a scar on your back?" He asks and my eyes come to his. "Last night, I saw a scar on your back."
"I normally don't scar, but that one night he came home really angry." I say looking down. "I remember that night. He came home from Tobias' choosing ceremony without him. I knew then that I was in for a hell of a night. He hit me for what seemed to be days. Somehow I managed to learn to stop screaming."
"That's awful…" he says.
"Yeah well, he's out of my life now."
"Good…So we still have some time before we get back, which means I have some time to tell you all of my secrets." He says and looks into my eyes. For a second, I think I forgot how to breathe. He tells me of the time he couldn't jump off the train because he was afraid. He tells me about his sisters who he deems annoying and his hovering mother and a father who is as reckless as any dauntless father. He's the oldest of his siblings and he isn't really close to his family. I find it really cute when he smiles when he talks about how his sisters are so sweet especially when he turned sixteen, they made him a cake that said choose dauntless.
I told him about Tobias in the vaguest terms possible. I told him his name but I didn't tell him what happened to him. I mostly talked about when he was in Abnegation, he cared for me and he tried to protect me. I talked about my father and my childhood. I loved the fact that when I told him, he didn't want to coddle me, he wanted to protect me. We eventually stood up and walked back to the training room. Then we started talking about our friends; my relationship with Rei and his with his friends; Anova, Elena and Tim. We finally reach the doors of the transfers training room and I look up at him. I'm very comfortable with the idea of him being my boyfriend but I wont say anything first. He flashes his million dollar smile once more which makes me blush.
"So, did you have fun?" He asks intertwining our fingers and pushing me up against the wall trapping me in his arms.
"Why wouldn't I have fun?" I ask moving my wrist side to side.
"Don't forget about our date tonight. I'll meet you for dinner okay?" He asks
"I have dinner plans already… I can meet you at the tattoo parlor at eight. Is that okay?"
"Sure."
"So is this considered our first date or is tonight our first date?"
"I thought last night was our first date."
"I have to go." I say and look into his eyes.
"I wouldn't want to make you late a second time." He says and he leans in for a kiss. I duck out and I smile. "You tease…" He leans against the wall and I stand in front of him and hug his waist. He brushes the piece of my hair away from my face and touches my cheek. I go on my tippy toes and I kiss him. I finally part and run into the training room.
