Man up right. That's easy to do. Michael pepped himself up for his big moment. He gave a fake one two punch to try to gain some confidence but he still felt just as nervous. How could he just walk up to Blake and just profess that he…he still has…

Dammit. Michael curses as he turns back. Blake doesn't need to know. I mean he's happy with Nellie right? No one needs to know about Michael's issues. They can all just focus on themselves and how easy it is for them.

Aylin was right back at the park though. Honestly she had to be the smartest girl Michael had ever met. Michael had to step up. If he wanted Blake then that is what he needed to fight for. No amount of drugs or any other shit would help Michael with what he had to do. The problem was though Michael still wasn't too sure what he had to do. He could try to rebuild a friendship…live in that putrid shadow but that was like driving a knife into his soul. Only a lot worse.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

Honestly Michael knew something. He knew that Blake still felt something…good or bad or something in between Michael knew just how confused Blake was. And maybe that would be enough to finally end it. Michael just had to set off one little itty bitty explosion before that happened.

He took his phone into his hand and scrolled through his contacts for that one number. A number he wished he didn't have to call now. Instead Michael sucked in a quick breath before hitting the call button.

Shit, crap. Maybe I can still hang up.

Just when he decided it was a stupid idea she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Nellie," Michael greeted as nonchalantly as he could manage. He was gonna burn in hell for this.

"Hey Michael, what's up?" Nellie greeted back sounding somewhat happy to hear him.

"Just wanted to catch up Nellie," Michael lied.

"Really? Wow, so you're better then?" she asked in a peppy voice. Michael wanted to shoot himself for this.

"Yeah, you know it was really sweet, what you guys did for me at the park. It was really a good day."

"Yeah it was, I'm glad you're better though Michael…I don't suppose you want to tell me why you were fucked for a while?" A sting stung Michael's heart at the reminder…any reminder really made it hard for Michael. He just really wanted to not have to hurt anyone to accomplish anything.

"I was just…hormonal. I wanted to be cool or some shit like that for a while."

"Michael that's really stupid."

"I know, thanks for setting me straight. I won't forget it Nellie." That only made it harder to hate her for having what Michael wanted. Michael fidgeted for a second at the awkward silence between them, he knew what he needed to say but he would feel shitty later for this.

"So how goes things between you and Blake?" Michael tempted. He scratched to keep from holding still. He was too anxious now to keep still.

"Good really good. Blake is so sweet, and I could just eat him up." Nellie stated.

Kill me now.

"Yeah, that's why he's my best friend. Speaking of eating him up have you guys ever…" Michael left it open for her to fill in the blank. She started laughing on the other end.

"Not that much, we went pretty far once when his parents weren't home. I think his dad thought we were gonna have sex and left a condom on Blake's dresser."

"Was it Trojan? If it was it was probably from Blake's Christmas present from his Dad." he points out. They both start cracking up for no apparent reason, but now Michael was dying to know what the hell they did with that condom.

"Yeah so I guess Blake was prepared. But anyway we sort of just did stuff," Her stressing the word stuff was not helping the situation running off in Michael's mind. Horrors were running through his mind, and really made him want to slap the shit out of Blake.

"Really," Michael said dryly. "Interesting," he had to clear his throat that had run dry. "Let's not go into details. But you know, you still have to tell me, how far?"

"We sort of just…well not all the way but…"

"Did you go as far as we did?" Michael finally just blurted out. There's a silence for a second before she responds.

"No," A soft quiet voice says. Michael can't decide whether to praise god for tiny miracles or curse him for huge disasters that seem to plague him. He knew they had done stuff but Michael never knew how far…and it still sucked to hear about.

"You know Nellie I'm still…sorry about that. It was my fault it went that far." Michael tried to apologize but he still had a goal to achieve here.

"It's fine Michael. We were both drunk and stupid that night. It shouldn't have gone as far as it did but it happened alright. No one got pregnant or anything so can we just forget it?" Nellie asks, Michael can hear the pain in her voice. It was a bad memory in general and that only made it worse with what Michael had just done.

"Alright so anyway, what else is going on?" Michael finally continued.

After about an hour long conversation catching up with Nellie Michael was finally done. And he was definitely a tool now. Indisputable proof was now on his phone. Michael was finally able to listen to the recording app that was running on his phone and listened to that chunk of their conversation over and over again as he tried to come up with the strength to do it.

Just do it you pussy.

If he wanted Blake back it had to go on plan, even if it hurt some people in the progress. Michael began to fumble around his phone until he found the contact with that beautiful face. Before he could think Michael hit send.