Oh my God...I might have been on crack when I wrote this chapter.
You reviews are better than anything I have written...just so you know!
And oh my you pervs...so many of you want a threesome. Nasty...nasty readers.
"Edward? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Alice screeches as I explain to her and Jasper what I need her to do.
It only took them five hours to get here and now we were all standing on my porch while Elizabeth stood just inside the house watching us in all her ghostly glory.
"She is dead! There is no way I am going down on a dead girl! And she looks just like your girlfriend. Imagine what it will be like for me on Thanksgiving." She shouts and I'm like…
Oh yeah.
"Well what about Jasper…" I start to suggest but Alice comes at me, tiny fists flying.
"No way! Just fucking fuck her your fucking self!" She screams as I put my hands over my head to protect myself.
"No way! I will not let him have sex with my dead sister! No way will I have sex with him after his cock has been inside this frigid bitch!" Bella yells as she tries to pull Alice off me.
Jasper is just standing there laughing.
Asshole.
"Hey guys!" Jake shouts and the ladies stop their catfight long enough to turn and look at him.
"I found this guy in the woods while I was walking and he said he can help us!"
Standing behind Jake is a tall pale blond guy.
He is wearing really fucking old overalls with a dirty white shirt under them.
He looks like he might be homeless or maybe…
"Dude are you dead?" I ask and…
"Why yes sir I am. The name is Carlisle Masen and I have been haunting these here woods for the past 109 years. You see my wife Esme left me for our farm hand back in 1902 and I hung myself as I couldn't stand the grief. When I ran into this here Indian and he explained what was going on, I thought maybe I could offer my services." He says and I reach down and pinch myself.
This is not happening.
But apparently it is.
Apparently this whole fuckedupness really is happening.
I was fail to mention that theonlykyla also suggested that it might be a relative. I am fail...you should know this by now.
Are you reading 'Please pass the peas?" Edward named his cock Wilson...as if you need any more incentive to go read.
