Matt didn't get much sleep. As much as he tried not to be, he was jealous. His friend was getting some major action. With his other friend. Which in his mind actually made him slightly ashamed of himself. But yet, he was jealous. To hear their out cries of pure pleasure made him harder than he had ever been in this type of situation. And he had to use it to his advantage.
Matt frantically pumped his cock. He thought about the women he had in the past. He wasn't that guy that slept around. But he was the guy that took pride in his work. He was an excellent lover and he chose to fine tune it almost to and obsessive compulsive level. And now here he was, listening to moans and relieving himself in his own hand. It was better than nothing.
Matt groaned when the sun came into his widow. He had slept. Not all night. It was next to impossible to sleep all night. But he was a heavy sleeper. When he fell asleep, he was asleep for the night, no matter what went on. He slowly rolled over in the comfortable bed and looked at the clock. Derek and Meredith were supposed t be on the plane in and hour. And it took a half an hour to get there. He quickly rolled out of bed, wanting to say goodbye and leave when they did. He was hoping they could all enjoy a breakfast out before they all returned to their lives.
Matt was surprised when he went out into the hallway and saw their door shut. He quickly walked downstairs, looking for them. He was half expecting Meredith to be sitting in the kitchen in Derek's pajamas. But she wasn't. And the coffee wasn't even made.
Matt quickly ran up the stairs. They were going to be late. He knocked softly on the door as he stood there. No answer. He said their names. Still no answer. He wasn't really sure what he should do. His first thought was to call. But he didn't know the number. He knocked harder and nothing. He winced as he opened the door. He knew them well enough to know that he didn't know what he could be stepping in on.
A faint smile crossed his face. Meredith was snuggled deeply into Derek's side. They were naked, covered with their bed linens. He could see Meredith's shoulder, and Derek's chest. Meredith had her head on his chest and a smile on her face. And Derek had his arm around her. Seeing that, he knew how close they really were.
"Um... Guys." Matt said softly as he looked up.
"Mmm... What..." Derek muttered as he slowly opened his eyes. "What?" Derek said again in shock as looked at Matt.
"What's going on, baby?" Meredith moaned as she stretched slowly and kissed his cheek. "What are you doing in here?" She asked, looking up at Matt.
"I think you guys are late..." Matt said quickly.
"What time is- Oh my god! We're late!" Meredith spat as she grabbed the bed sheet and jumped out of bed. "We are fucking late! Damn-it Derek!"
"Me! What the hell did I do?" He asked defensively.
"You had me all strung out." She spat. "Shower. Me. I smell like sex!" She shouted.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Derek asked as he looked over at her.
"Ugh..." She groaned as she walked over. "Good morning." She said as she kissed him sweetly. "You have morning breath. And you need to take a shower. Use the other one. You are too distracting. Oh... Good morning, Matthew." She giggled as she walked away with her sheet.
"You guys kill me." Matt said with a chuckle.
"Why?" Derek asked with a chuckle as he leaned down and grabbed his pants.
"Normal. Who would have thought Meredith Grey could live a normal life. You're good for her." Matt explained.
"I try." Derek said with a chuckle as he climbed out of the bed.
"I'll make the coffee." Matt said with a nod as he turned and walked out.
Matt sat at the kitchen table. They had fruit available to eat. There really wasn't time to cook a breakfast. So he grabbed it out and placed it in a bowl and waited. Finally after several minutes, he wondered where they were at. He made his way around the corner and shook her head at the two of them.
"Too much, Mer. This is ridiculous." Derek said as he dragged more bags down. "No one needs this much shit!" He said as he raised his voice.
"I do. Need that much stuff. Things. Items. My shoes. My clothes. Not shit. I would not expect you to carry shit around." She growled as she looked at him.
"You are killing me, Mer. A little each day." Derek joked as he pulled her close. "Shaving time off of my life..."
"I try, baby. I try." She giggled as she kissed him softly. "Oh..." She muttered as she looked at the bags.
"I know. I'm sorry." Derek told her softly.
"What?" Matt asked with concern.
"Time to go back." Derek explained with a frown.
"Oh." Matt said, understanding why.
They went on. Trying to be normal was impossible. Even Matt was in a happy bubble when he was around them. They were all happy. And now it was back to prison. Prison for Derek. Prison for Meredith. And Matt, he was back to juggling the mess that Thatcher wanted to take from him. No one was ready to go home. No one.
--------------
Meredith was sick. She was always sick about going back. But this time it was worse. This time she spent the whole time in the bathroom vomiting. It shouldn't be that way. She shouldn't have that much tension. She shouldn't have that much anxiety over going home. He couldn't help but think part of it was his fault. She was worried about getting caught. She was worried about not being able to give him the affection that he needed. And that hurt.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly as he looked at her.
"Yeah..." Meredith moaned as she held her stomach. "Yeah..."
"Do you need something?" Derek asked as he grabbed her hand.
"A new life." She moaned as she closed her eyes and squeezed his hand.
"I'm sorry. If I could, I would in a minute." Derek said with a frown.
Meredith and Derek laid their heads back. It was the dread of going back that was so hard on them both. It drained them dry. It took out all of their life. They quickly drifted off to sleep. Meredith in a quiet, comfortable state. Derek was in a dream. A dream he wished was real.
[iDerek pulled up to the house that seemed so familiar to him. It was perfect. Four bedrooms. The perfectly manicured lawn. In a quiet community. The kids loved to play with the other kids in the neighborhood. Derek groaned as he looked at the bike in the driveway. He had warned them about that time and time again. Next time he would run it over.
"Mer?" He yelled as he walked into the noisy house. The kids were running wild. He didn't like that, but she was tired, and he knew it. The hospital had been kicking his ass. "Mer?"
"In here..." Meredith yelled back from the kitchen. "I can't do this!" She spat as she pushed the spaghetti away. "It tastes horrible."
"That's okay. The kids and I are used to it." He said with a chuckle as he looked around.
"Hey... How are you feeling?" He asked as he walked up and kissed her.
"Like your son wants to kill me." She giggled as she rubbed her huge stomach.
"Wow... He is kicking hard today." Derek said with a smile as he placed his hand on her stomach.
"That's want I'm saying. He has only sent me to the bathroom every ten minutes." SHe told him with a frown. Derek took a spoonful of her sauce and his eyes got wide.
"Eh... I think we will order out." He told her as he tasted her spaghetti sauce.
"Thanks! Thanks a lot!" She said as she punched him playfully.
"I still love you..." Derek told her happily.
"You should. You really should. You so overachieved with me." Meredith pointed out.
"So true, so true." Derek agreed as he kissed her on the cheek.
"Oh god... Here he goes again!" She said as she waddled off to the bathroom. Derek couldn't help but chuckle at the movement she was making. He had only gone through this three times before.
"Not funny!" She shouted. "Kids... Daddy wants to wrestle!" She yelled, hearing them run in and pummel him.
"Not nice, Mer!" He yelled back as they took him to his knees.
"Stop!" He heard his little green eyed girl yell to her brothers. "Daddy is a doctor. He can't go see the doctor. He would be embawassed. Don't hurt him... Mommy! They're hurting daddy."
"Oh... Daddy is fine. He has stamina." Meredith said with a smile.
"Yes he does!" Derek said with a chuckle and a wink. "Lots."
"What is stamina?" One of the kids asked quickly.
"Daddy never stops... So keep beating him up." Meredith giggled as she watched the kids playfully wrestle with Derek.
Derek looked up and smiled at his perfect wife. She was everything he had ever dreamed about. Even standing in the kitchen wight months pregnant, she was breathtaking. His perfection. The mother of his children. His wife. His lover. His friend.[/i
Derek quickly jerked awake. She was sleeping with a smile on her face. He wondered if she was having the same dream as he was. A frown came over him quickly. He would never have that. He would never have what he truly wanted. But he would have her. Even if in secret, he would have her. And that was enough.
------------------
She was quiet. Scary quiet. The whole way home. Literal silence. Derek didn't even know what to say to soothe her. It took a few days. It was like a shock to the system. But once she actually got home, she was better. Not perfect, but better. It took days for her to get back to reality, back to realizing that she could only have Derek in secret.
"How was your trip, Meri?" Sofia asked as she walked up and gave her a hug.
"Good, Sofia. It was good." Meredith said with a smile.
"Good, dear. I made your favorite pasta." Sofia told her with a smile. "And fresh bread."
"Thank you." Meredith muttered meekly as she made her way up the stairs.
"Is she okay?" Sofia asked Derek with a bit of concern in her voice.
"She must be tired." Derek said with a sigh as he walked up the stairs, carrying as many bags as he could.
Derek carried the bags upstairs. Cristoforo followed him with the last of them in his already full arms. Derek knocked twice before walking into Meredith's open room. Meredith was standing on the balcony, staring outside. She looked over at the two of the and walked to them.
"That's good, Cristoforo. Right there. Derek, can you put the shoes in the closet?" Meredith asked softly.
"Sure." Derek said quickly as he walked into the closet. She watched as Cristoforo walked down the hallway.
Derek looked around in shock. He had never really be in the closet. It was incredible. The shoes. It almost made him sick. It was true, she could give a whole nation footwear. He couldn't help but laugh. His sisters would kill to get in this closet and have a good time. He sat the boxes in front of the others and stood up. She was blue. She was down. They looked into each other's eyes before he pulled her in. She laid her head softly on his chest and let out a sigh.
"I am here. That's all that matters." Derek said as he kissed her head. "You need to calm down."
"It kills me, Derek. I hate it!" She said loudly.
"I know you do... I know." Derek told her as he kissed her again and pulled away. "I have to go..."
"I know you do." Meredith replied with a faint smile on her lips.
"Love you." Derek told her as he kissed her cheek softly and walked out.
Meredith walked over to her bed. She wished she could get out of the funk that she was in. But she couldn't. She was stuck in a spot that she couldn't seem to crawl out of. A year ago, she was unhappy, but not like this. Now it was up and down. Derek made her happier than she ever was. And then when they had to be apart, she dropped through the floor.
Meredith laid there forever. It seemed like forever. And it probably was, because next thing she knew, it was time for dinner. Meredith looked down at herself. They were going to know. She came in the house wearing a Gucci boatneck dress. And now she was in her pajamas looking like she had been for days.
Meredith quickly pulled herself out of her bed and threw on a pair of her True Religion jeans and a top. She had to pull herself together if she was going to put on a decent show. She was doing this too often. She couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't come home like it was the end of the world. She didn't need people to notice.
"Meri..." Sophia said with a smile as she looked up.
"Mmm... Smells good." Meredith replied softly as she sat down.
"So how was France?" She asked with a smile as she sat down at the table.
"It was great. Paris was wonderful." Meredith replied with a smile.
"How did you like it, Derek? Have you ever been?" Sophia asked quickly.
"No, I have not. And it was great. Really nice." Derek agreed as he took a bite of his salad.
"Oh... Meri!" Tony said with a big smile as he walked in.
"Eh." Meredith groaned as she looked up at him.
"What a nice way to say hello." Tony told her curtly. "But then again, I know you're not nice."
"You have a point." Meredith said frankly as she looked over at him.
They all ate dinner quietly. Meredith and Derek were talking. It was a silent language. they were both thinking about the amazing time they had together. Meredith let her mind drift off to the mornings when she would wake up in his arms. She wanted to wake up in his arms like that every morning. Her face dropped at she thought about it. Then she looked up. Derek gave her the slightest smile. But that wasn't the impertinent thing. It was the wink. He closed both of his eyes. Their "secret" wink. A loud giggle escaped her lips.
"What are you so happy about?" Tony asked as he looked at her.
"I'm just happy... That's all." She replied as she glanced up. It was good.
