Seth

Dear Journal,

The down time that SG-1 was afforded after defeating Hathor was long overdue. Sadly, it ended far too soon when we received word that the Tok'ra wanted to visit with us. Still, it was long enough that we were all able to catch a second wind of sorts. I think we all had reached a point where we were starting to get more depressed and more desperate for a solution against the Goa'uld. The human body is only meant to withstand so much before it gives out mentally and physically. We've all trained ourselves to withstand more than many other humans, but we're still just that, human. I sincerely believe that without the short break we were allowed, there is no way I would have had the focus or the energy necessary to wield the hand device against Seth, and rather than perishing, he would have gotten away again.

There is always something to be said of human endurance. We last far longer than we're meant to, but we still have our limits. I think that Selmak recognized this limit in Dad. She was able to heal him physically, but emotionally, she couldn't do anything. Only he could act to heal his own emotions. It was revealing to be part of that emotional healing. And I believe that it helped me too in many ways. Mark never had forgiven me for joining the military. For ruining my life just like Dad, for neglecting my family in favor of serving our country. I still don't think that he fully understands why I made the decision I did, but at least he doesn't resent me for it as much anymore. It's going to take a long time for our family to heal, but the first steps to that healing have now been made and Selmak is relieved that she won't have to hear Dad's negative thoughts on the matter any longer.

Daniel started working out with Teal'c during our short break, and I can already tell a difference. He admitted that the exercise is much better than sitting around feeling like a failure for not rescuing Sha're sooner. He's always begging anyone going through the gate to keep their ears open for news of Aphosis's mate or son taking over control of the planets that he once ruled. He wants to be ready to move as soon as there is word of her whereabouts.

Colonel O'Neill went fishing as he has a tendency to do whenever we've got the time away from the mountain to do so. When he came back we had a very brief encounter in my lab where he asked me how I was doing, and I told him I was doing good. And in typical O'Neill fashion, he just nodded his head and said that was good, and assured me that he was also doing good. I told him that was good and asked if he wanted to stick around to watch the results of the experiment I was working on. As usual, he refused the invitation and insisted that he just wanted to make sure I was ok. A few unspoken words of understanding passed between us before he finally left.

I admire Colonel O'Neill. I look up to him. I respect him. And, yes, I care about him. More than I probably should. And I know that he cares about me in a way that isn't appropriate for a commanding officer. But he also cares about Daniel and Teal'c like brothers, more so than as colleagues. If I'm honest, I care them like brothers too. The military says that kind of attachment is a bad thing. But I have an idea that it's what's going to continue to keep all four us alive for a very long time to come. We may not always work together in the same unit as we do now, but we'll always have this bond that supersedes anything else and keeps us alive. I don't know exactly when these attachments formed, but I do know that anyone would be very hard pressed to break them.

I've been working on this theory that Seth may not have been the only Goa'uld left on Earth after the gate was buried in Egypt. Daniel and Dad both seem to agree that it is plausible. However, if that is the case, no one else has been making as many waves in history as Seth did. There are other cults that have formed throughout time, of course, but none of them seem to have as solid a link to Egyptian culture as the one Seth formed did. I'm leaning more toward the assumption that any other Goa'ulds left on Earth kept quiet in the field of religious domination and leaned more toward the field of scientific exploration, perhaps in the pursuit of finding a way back to their home planet. From Newton to Einstein, historically forward thinkers always paved a path in the world of science, and formed theories that we are only just now beginning to understand as truth.

Perhaps they have their hands in more than science, expanding into the arts, literature, even film. Da Vinci, Jules Verne, George Lucas to name but a few examples of men who seemingly knew more about the galaxy than they ought to. Then again, maybe this experience with Seth is making me sound a little paranoid and these outrageous instincts are simply erroneous inventions of my own imagination. Yep, that sounds right. It's just my imagination. Good thing too, I don't think General Hammond would take too kindly to the idea of me going around and shooting up half of Hollywood with a hand device for no good reason. Then again, it would make for an interesting tale. Nah, I could never pull it off. That's just the Colonel's humor rubbing off on me.

-Captain Samantha Carter