Chapter 48 TNB
Stefan awoke, feeling as rested as he'd felt in a long time. He stretched his legs and pressed back into the body heat of Damon behind him as he sighed. Damon was still fast asleep and holding him. Stefan made a humming sound to waken him gently and Damon tightened his arm around him a little.
"Not yet." Damon mumbled, half coherent and Stefan smiled and made the sound again.
Slowly he turned onto his side to face him, making Damon groan and scrunch up his face. Stefan traced his features with the tips of his fingers and Damon's expression straightened and he relaxed again, kissing his fingers as he traced around his lips. He opened his eyes eventually and yawned.
"I love you." Stefan said.
"So you should." Damon smirked.
"That's how I found out about us you know? Our texts to each other."
Damon raised an eyebrow and put his face into his pillow.
"Wouldn't have been a good way to find out I guess." He mumbled from within the pillow.
"Can I touch you today?"
"Stefan it's too hard." Damon turned his head to look at him. "You saw what almost happened last night. I wanted you and I didn't even notice you were afraid."
"I wasn't afraid, I just wasn't ready." He assured and Damon closed his eyes again.
"I'll steer clear of danger areas." Stefan teased and kissed the tip of his nose. "Please."
"What about dating?"
"If I can touch you now, then you won't have to worry about me trying to drag you into a bathroom somewhere."
Damon smirked and sighed again, turning onto his belly so that Stefan had access to his back. They'd both slept with their clothes on so Stefan had to wrestle him out of his shirt as he grunted. Finally Damon's back was bare and Stefan propped himself up on one elbow and dragged his fingers down his shoulder blades. Damon shivered and hummed.
"Your skin is so soft." Stefan whispered as he admired it, gliding his hands down his back to the dip in his spine.
"You should know." Damon sighed softly. "You've fed from my back and lain on top of me."
"God I wish I could just do that now."
"Baby steps." Damon yawned.
"Hmmmn." Stefan agreed and continued to stroke every contour until he reached Damon's jeans.
He paused and chewed his lip.
"Damon?" He whispered and Damon grunted sleepily. "Can I take your jeans off?"
"Hmmmn." Damon hummed, half asleep.
Stefan felt his heart speed up as he reached around, brushing by Damon's manhood which was mercifully soft. Damon was beginning to drift to sleep peacefully, so this was all safe. Stefan pulled his jeans off carefully and dropped them onto the floor. He felt beyond excited. The fact that Damon was consenting but not aroused made this so much easier for him. He slid his hands over Damon's bottom, smiling at how soft and muscular his gluts were and Damon sighed. He loved Damon's body. God he was perfect, like Adonis. He couldn't help himself as he leaned down and gently placed a kiss on each buttock softly.
Damon began to snore very softly and Stefan began to kiss his back and spine, caressing his skin as he moved. He could do this. He could be physical. It didn't feel weird at all. He was his brother and yet he was also an old lover, whose body he knew inside and out. Inside. God…
He felt his manhood come alive as he remembered pushing inside of Damon's body. It had been glorious. He looked to Damon's buttocks again and licked over them this time. He wanted him. Damon made a soft sound of pleasure and Stefan moved down and ran his tongue in between his buttocks, tickling his entrance as he did so and Damon jolted awake.
"Stefan." Damon mumbled in warning and Stefan sat back up and stroked his back again.
"Maybe I could have you instead. I can't…I don't think I can let you, but I want you Damon. God I want you right now." Stefan breathed as he slid his fingers along his entrance, not pushing in but stroking there to make Damon fist the sheets and tremble.
"Stefan…baby steps." Damon groaned into the mattress, clearly fighting the desire to allow it.
Stefan climbed up to the back of his neck and began to kiss there, making Damon sigh in want.
"I've done this a hundred times, please let me. I can see how much you need me. You've held back so much these past few days. Let me release you, please." He whispered seductively into his ear and ran his finger into the cleft of his buttocks again.
"You're going to kill me." Damon groaned. "Just trying…uhhhh…" Stefan slid a finger into his entrance, "…to protect you." He gasped.
"Let me have you." Stefan kissed his shoulder and bit down into his neck to drink from him and Damon's eyes rolled into his head as he let out a moan.
Stefan suckled gently, licking his skin as Damon panted and contorted in pleasure. He pulled his fangs out and breathed. Damon seemed less reluctant now.
"I want you." Stefan growled possessively.
He tilted his bottom a little in invitation and Stefan immediately removed his clothes in a blur. Damon lay his head back down and closed his eyes as Stefan took over. He couldn't lie, his body was fit to exploding with Stefan here, touching him. It had been the longest he'd gone without sex since he could remember and he was desperate. All of the women in the bar and a few men, rubbing against him, touching his arms, his backside, slipping their cell numbers into his pockets, had been maddening at the bar and he'd almost succumbed a few times, just to release his demanding libido.
He could hear Stefan panting in excitement as he opened Damon's legs a little wider and Damon turned his head to look at him.
"Stefan, stop if it feels…"
"No, I want to fill you. I want to make you mine again." Stefan was flushed and had his vampire face on and Damon relaxed into the mattress, his stomach fluttering with want and excitement too.
Stefan lay down between his legs and began to prepare his entrance. Damon moaned and squirmed. His young Stefan had been inexperienced and unsure how best to use his tongue but my god, Stefan Salvatore had clearly done this before – to women mind you, but the principle was the same aside from the prostate, which Damon really hoped his younger Stefan would remind him of.
Before long Damon was thoroughly stretched and moaning, flexing his bottom upwards to help Stefan reach his prostrate with his fingers. He panted and gyrated unashamedly as his heart started to batter against his rib cage. Oh yes, Stefan knew what he was doing and he was going to make him scream. Damon panted and tried to talk but his words eluded him, slurring and making noises more than anything and Stefan finally pulled up, biting into his left buttock and drinking a little as Damon arched his back and cried out.
"Now you want me don't you? No baby steps today." Stefan smiled victorious and Damon just collapsed into the bed in response. "I've got moves too."
He lined himself up and slowly entered him as Damon whimpered. It had been so long, so long since anyone had touched him like this and he could cry that it was his love doing it again. It was like his dreams had come true. Stefan was gentle, instead of ramming him hard and fast like he could see Damon wanted, he lay down on top of his back and kissed his neck and shoulders. Damon pushed back against him and Stefan circled his hips and gyrated gently. Damon drooled into his pillow. Stefan was gentle and slow for a few minutes until he was sure Damon could accommodate his size and then he leaned up onto his hands and changed his angle so that as he entered with each thrust, he was diving deeper into him. Damon moaned loudly and Stefan sped up, breathing loudly as Damon squirmed and tried to reach back for his hands. Stefan leaned forward and pulled him upwards by his chest so that Damon's head fell back onto his shoulder and then he rammed him, hard and fast, shaking the bed as he held him tight in that position. Damon cried and reached back to hold Stefan's hips, almost trying to pull him in deeper, until Stefan finally hit his prostate and he yelled.
Stefan bit into his neck again and drank as Damon's body felt like marshmallow, sagging into him as Stefan flexed and repeatedly hit his prostate again and again until Damon had to beg for him to climax. It was too intense. Stefan panted, spilling blood down Damon's collarbone and reached around to pump Damon's penis. He barely even touched it when Damon climaxed all over his hand.
Stefan followed suit and held Damon upright as he emptied inside of him, Damon's head falling forward as he tried not to wilt. Stefan cried and cried and buried his face into Damon's raven curls that had now become plastered to the back of his neck. Damon wilted entirely and Stefan lay them both back down, Stefan staying inside of him as they breathed.
"I can do this." Stefan breathed into Damon's neck but Damon had already drifted off, satiated and happy.
Stefan chuckled and reached around to feel Damon's soft manhood again. He had a lot of ejaculate there. Clearly, he hadn't slept with anyone for a while. Stefan kissed his back and neck as he realised what that meant. Damon had been waiting for him, hoping that someday he'd come back to him. He wound his arms around him and gyrated a little inside of him still. This felt right. They fit together. As he gyrated he felt some more semen release into Damon and he sighed and kissed the back of Damon's head. Damon made a sound of happiness but his eyelids were fluttering.
Stefan would stay inside of him until they had to move, he didn't care.
When they awoke later they tried just kissing again and this time it was much easier. Damon, however put his foot down about a few things they needed to be clear about for a while. Stefan sat, sipping coffee as Damon paced in front of him.
"Ok, you know how I feel. I've made it abundantly clear."
"You could say that." Stefan smirked into his coffee and Damon gave a side smile but tensed a little too.
"I don't think we should have sex again…for a little while."
Stefan coughed into his cup I surprise and frowned at him.
"Stefan, I want you, whether you're in me or I'm in you – it doesn't matter to me, but clearly it still does to you."
"I…"
"No, listen…" Damon sighed and put his hands on his hips. "You came here a couple of days ago as my brother and that was all you wanted. You only even came here to tear me a new one. You didn't come back here to fall in love with me again Stefan."
"No." Stefan said gravely as he paled.
"So we start there. I love both parts of you and I can see right now that I'm looking at one of them."
"What do you mean?"
"Stefan I know you feel the same love that I do and that was what made you want me earlier today, but you need to integrate your thoughts ok? I mean, before, would you have just jumped into bed with someone without getting to know them first?"
"Damon, I think it's safe to safe to say that I know you." Stefan snorted annoyed.
"No you don't Stefan." Damon said bluntly and Stefan sighed exasperated. "You know your brother and a couple of months of a newer me. I don't even know who the hell I am right now."
Stefan looked to the ground as he processed that. It was true. Damon had really changed a lot from the person he'd been. He'd made huge changes to be with him and now he was continuing to try and stay that guy young Stef had fallen for and wanted to marry because he liked himself better that way. Did Stefan really know him anymore then?
"So, dating." Stefan said after a few minutes of silence.
"With no sex right now." Damon chewed his lip and Stefan nodded.
"Ok. So what now?"
"Let's go on a trip."
"Date?"
"I guess we'll find out." Damon gave a small smile and Stefan chuckled, standing up.
It was a little difficult to see Stefan head straight for his Aston and ignore the vintage cars as they headed out that day. Although Stefan remembered the love he had for the crank handle car and the red Camaro, he felt embarrassed that they'd been something that his younger version had gushed over so much because of their association with Damon. It was kind of like fighting with a teenage in his head sometimes and he wanted to integrate everything and make informed choices with all parts of his brain, just like Damon was saying.
As Stefan drove he tried not to touch Damon too much. He wanted to. He wanted to hold his hand or something, but Damon had made it clear they had to start from a beginning. He must have sighed because Damon looked over at him.
"What?"
"Nothing." Stefan chewed his lip and Damon smirked. "I just, can't find my re-set button as easy as you."
"You think I even have one?" Damon laughed in amazement and Stefan sighed again moodily.
"This morning was so perfect. I know we are doing the right thing here, but I feel like you're punishing me." There, he'd admitted it.
Damon stared at him for several seconds and Stefan frowned unhappily. Damon sighed and reached over, resting his hand on Stefan's thigh gently. Stefan looked at him and Damon leaned over and kissed the side of his mouth. Stefan closed his eyes briefly and Damon leaned back but kept his hand on his leg. Stefan smiled, feeling a little better.
"Where are we going?" He realised he was on autopilot and had started heading back to Mystic Falls.
"Home."
"Why?"
"There's something I need to check."
"That's cryptic." Stefan chuckled and Damon seemed a little tense again.
When they got to the Boarding House they got out and headed inside. Damon looked around, noticing how empty the place looked without his things there and Stefan watched him.
"Do you want to move back in?"
"No." Damon said confidently.
"Ok." Stefan swallowed. "Living separately. I get it."
"Come on." Damon tilted his head up towards the bedrooms and Stefan frowned but followed.
Damon oddly walked past his bedroom door and went into Stefan's room instead and Stefan followed curiously. Stefan had tried to re-arrange it back to the way it had been before and Damon looked around, noticing that.
"What are you upto?" Stefan raised his eyebrows and Damon looked at him nervously.
"Proving a point."
"What point?" Stefan asked and Damon was suddenly on him, pushing him onto his bed and climbing on top of him as Stefan gasped and looked up into his face.
Damon's pupils were huge and he had an erection pressing into Stefan below him.
"What are you doing? You said no sex." Stefan panted as Damon leaned in and kissed his neck, rubbing his groin against his. "Damon, you said…"
"Forget what I said." Damon whispered into his ear and kissed his neck and throat as Stefan frowned and tried to figure out what was going on. "Take me Stefan. Right in your bed. Take me like this morning."
Stefan panted, feeling desire curl in his stomach as Damon continued to rub himself against him and caress him. Stefan rolled them over and began to kiss him deeply and urgently as Damon opened his legs and melted into Stefan's mattress, making small noises of pleasure and need that were driving Stefan insane. Stefan reached down and began to undo Damon's jeans as Damon closed his eyes. He pulled the jeans from his legs and dumped them onto the chair beside the bed when he paused for a second. He'd been trying to get this room back to normal and stop hating his brother so much, so he'd brought the old photograph of them as boys here and sat it in a frame by the night stand.
He looked at it and felt his stomach clench. Damon whispered his name seductively and tilted his hips up at him and Stefan looked down at him, trying to get back into the mood again. He kissed him again, feeling Damon's underwear fit to bursting with his erection. Damon wrapped his legs around Stefan's back, pulling him flush against him when Stefan felt himself begin to panic. He panted and tried to loosen Damon's clutching to him, but Damon gyrated, rubbing their erections together and licking his lips to draw attention to them.
Stefan pulled up suddenly and separated their bodies as he held his chest and tried not to freak out. Damon lay and looked up at the ceiling calmly – not even bothering to ask what was wrong. Then Stefan realised why. This had been a test. He huffed hurt and Damon sat up on his elbows and looked at him.
"Making a point huh?" He almost wanted to punch him and Damon gave a small frown and sat up fully.
"I'm not punishing you." He said gently and Stefan shook his head at him angrily. "Stefan, why did you stop? I didn't stop you – you pulled away from me."
"What?" Stefan panted, slightly confused as he tried not to become angry again.
"You stopped. Why? Think." Damon said simply and looked to the photograph on the nightstand pointedly.
Stefan looked to it too and let out a tired and unhappy sigh, closing his eyes.
"Do you get it now?" Damon reached out and squeezed his shoulder and Stefan nodded and swallowed down some tears. "Rome wasn't built in a day. When you can make love to me here, where we were family – where so much of who we are developed, then you'll know that you really want this. Want me."
"And you could have sex with me here? In your bed?!" Stefan shot at him accusingly and Damon looked at him confidently.
"Yes."
Stefan huffed mockingly and turned away from him, throwing his jeans back at him.
"No you couldn't." He said bitterly and Damon grabbed him from behind and blurred them to his bedroom, throwing him down as he gasped.
Damon's eyes were burning and Stefan sat up.
"This room doesn't mean anything to you anymore. It's empty." Stefan pointed out and Damon huffed annoyed and looked around.
"Ok." Damon sat annoyed and grabbed him again, blurring down to the lounge and throwing him onto the sofa in front of the fire. "Satisfied with this location?" He asked bitterly and Stefan panted and nodded.
Yes, they spent most of their time here, drinking and talking. Being brothers, planning, fighting, remembering the past. This was the best place of significance. Damon climbed on top of him and began to kiss him passionately and Stefan tried to relax. He felt strange again, even though they were only kissing. But they were kissing on the sofa they'd shared as brothers. It did feel…it didn't feel…
He sighed and bit his lip, trying to focus on how much love and desire he felt for Damon - Damon's naked body, being inside of him this morning, all of the wild, fantastic sex they'd shared previously, all the feelings…
Damon kissed down and undid his jeans, sucking his manhood into his mouth as Stefan panted and tilted into him. God it felt so good. Damon was a master at this. He tried not to look around and imagined they were at the apartment and Damon stopped and slipped him from his mouth.
"Stefan."
Stefan grunted.
"Open your eyes."
"Why?" He opened his eyes.
"Look at me."
"I am looking at you!" He said annoyed again and Damon scowled angrily.
"I said, Look. At. Me."
"I am!"
"Who am I?" Damon said.
"For fuck sake!"
"Stefan I'm going to fuck you right here on this couch because you asked me to. You want me to don't you?"
Stefan panted and didn't respond as he tried to figure out what Damon was thinking again.
"I could fuck and suck and marry you, right here on this fucking couch, in front of the whole of the godamn Mystic Falls parish because I love you."
"Damon…"
"Stefan do you want me to have sex with you right now?" Damon began to remove his jeans and pump his manhood and Stefan squeezed his eyes closed. "Because I'm aching for you and I want to. Unless you tell me to stop because you still think of me as your brother only, despite your memories."
"Damon, don't torture me." Stefan croaked. "I can't just forget you're my brother just like that. I can't!"
"I'm not asking you to. Of course you can't, that's what I've been telling you. But I have to be all, both, all one at the same time. Just like you are for me. So what are we doing? Are we having sex here Stefan?" Damon opened Stefan's legs and unzipped himself, pumping his flesh as Stefan tried to breathe.
Stefan looked around at the room, at their family history, their things, their relics and he closed his eyes and grunted.
"No."
Damon tucked himself back in his jeans immediately and sat back as Stefan put his arms over his eyes and hid his face. Damon re-dressed him gently, kissing his stomach as he buttoned up his jeans for him and Stefan removed his arms and looked at him feeling betrayed and hurt.
"Get to know me Stefan. Want to get to know me, because if you can't love me fully I have to move on and so do you." Damon spoke gently and Stefan sat up as Damon pulled him into his lap and hugged him.
"You're a fucking asshole." Stefan whispered as he buried his face in Damon's neck and Damon chuckled and kissed his head.
"Yeah, not everything about me has changed."
