Gintoki had knocked the confusion out of his mind but Tsubasa seems to have changed. Even Gintoki was surprised when she started talking calmly to the Vice-Commander while she was fixing their injuries with Yamazaki. Sougo had expected her to be like a zombie but she is behaving like a normal person. It is a little too fast of a recovery from a heart break.

He had thought it all to be a really bad dream when she appeared normal in front of them; he was expecting swollen eyes and eye bags but she is looking like a normal person. It is all too normal that Hijikata is starting to doubt reality until she starts poking on his wounds in an attempt to troll him.

"That hurt you idiot!" he squawked at Tsubasa after she jabbed a finger at a large bruise. That stupid troll smile is not helping either.

"I thought you were better than this, Toushi." She pokes another bruise on his cheek while saying this.

"Gahahaha! Hijikata-kun, you need some painkillers?" the other one starts teasing him as she pokes the Vice-Commander.

"AHHHH!" it was Gintoki's turn to receive her sadistic attention.

Hijikata's laughter can be heard throughout the Headquarter as it harmonized with Gintoki's scream.

That is the background music when she poured ethanol on Gintoki's open wounds.

"Someone needs a reminder that she's my long-lost sister from the Planet of Sadists." Sougo commented monotonously.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME YOU STUPID TRANNY WITH ZERO SEX APPEAL?!" he screams at Tsubasa who has that stupid expression as when she poked Hijikata's bruises.

"Hey, hot women have tranny-like features. Look at Megan Wolf*." Gintoki stops to take a better look at her chest.

"Megan Wolf has boobs! What do you have?!" She looks down at her chest and back at him before standing up.

Since the men in the room are sitting down and she is indoors, they all got a full view of her legs without boots. Hijikata and Gintoki swallow hard when she did a turn. Kondo was pretty much in his own world while to Sougo, it is no different from staring at his own sister.

'Damn.' Both men thought while averting their eyes from her.

"Legs?" she shrugs before turning. "Ass? Waist? I heard that intelligence is sexy…"

Gintoki and Hijikata throw a roll of gauze and cotton buds at her respectively when they heard the last comment. She manages to catch the items and throws it back at them. Not to mention, they ended up with what they threw in their faces and with new kunai-inflicted wounds.

"Also, Sadists are usually attractive." Sougo gives a thumbs-up at that comment with his eyes twinkling.

Kondo starts laughing when he heard that comment and it earned him an empty 500ml ethanol bottle in his mouth. It is odd that she had snapped out of her catatonic state; moments ago, Gintoki had been worried that she might have died in her sleep but now she is behaving like her usual irritating self. Hijikata did not know whether to laugh or cry when he realized that she had gotten over it.

Or had she?

When they were left alone, Hijikata had an adrenaline rush to his head and avoided her eyes.

"Toushi, are you ok?"

"Ah." She pauses for a while to observe him and she seems to have caught on to something.

"Don't worry about me, Toushi. I'm over with that bullshit. Just be friends!" her cheerful voice made him turns to gape at her in horror. What bullshit?! Is she singing to Megurine Luka's song* or something? Please let that be true!

"What bullshit?" she raises her eyebrows in surprise when she heard his question.

"The bullshit about whether you love me or not. I'm over with that." She smiles. "After that one week, I've sorted it out; I prefer to have you as my best friend."

Hijikata Toushirou had fallen into the friendzone at the speed of light. What had the past fifty over chapters of this fanfiction been for? For fun? Did Sakurai-san ever spare a thought for him or the HijiTsu readers? He had taken a beating from Gintoki for clearing up his confusion to this?! Is this woman what they call a true blue sadist?

For a moment, Tsubasa thought she heard something breaking and falling apart.

'Nah, must be the leftover adrenaline and the side-effect of the painkillers I took for beating up that Beansprout.' She dismissed it while keeping the items back into the first aid box.

While on their way home, Gintoki stops to look at Tsubasa.

"Are you really alright?"

"Yes. Why do you keep asking?" she frowns at the question. He had been asking this question for the past twenty minutes. "If you ask again, I don't think the answer will be the same."

'This is weird. That V-shaped bangs looked like he had lost his soul when I returned from taking a dump. Did something happen when I was in the toilet?' he wonders.

"That Mayora did not look good…" he mumbled.

"Toushi? Yeah, I wondered what happened to him. He's allergic to the ointments or something?"

"It might have been some chemical reaction between the ointment and mayonnaise since 90% of him is made up of mayonnaise." She nods while climbing the stairs.

"He's weird after I told him that I've gotten over it and we shall be best friends."

Gintoki coughed blood and fell through the door when he heard that.

"OI! DID THE SUGAR REACT WITH THE ETHANOL I POURED ON YOUR OPEN WOUNDS?!" Shinpachi and Kagura heard Tsubasa's voice for the first time in weeks.

"SASAAAA!"

"TSUBASA-SAN!"

"ARF!"

"WHY ISN'T ANYONE GIVING A DAMN ABOUT A HALF-DEAD TENPAA WHO FELL THROUGH THE DOOR?!" Tsubasa yells while trying her best to help Gintoki but Shinpachi and Kagura and Sadaharu had stepped over the unconscious man to hug her.


*Parody version of Megan Fox. There were rumors surrounding Megan Fox that she used to be a man.

*Megurine Luka has a song titled 'Just Be Friends'