First off…there is something I want to say and if you get offended I'm sorry but I need to speak my mind.
Some of the reviews this chapter and last chapter have been…troubling. I know you care about the characters and what is happening to them but the tone of some of the reviews really hurt my feelings and I actually got really worked up over them. And some of you were angry about what I did to Merlin, but he's my character and this is in fact my story and no one is making you read it. With that said, I know I'm not perfect and I try to write my story as best as I can and I know where my story is going. You either have to take a leap of faith and trust me or not.
Again, sorry but I had to get that off of my chest. Now, onto the happiness! As you can see this chapter is really quite long. Much longer than my pre-battle one. I was actually going to make it longer but I decided to save something for next time.
Also if you are interested I rewrote the ending of Chapter 47 because one of my lovely reviewers and I talked about it and I realized that I had made a sort of faux pa with how helpless I had made Merlin.
Also. I was intending on putting these up but I kept forgetting. Avaleora is pronounced (A-vah-lee-o-rah) and Cópenere is pronounced (Cope-en-yair).
Lightbane1905: Grief is a powerful motivator and it can also be a powerful crippler as well. A grieving Merlin also would tend to grow up faster than a non-grieving one.
Moon Fox: She did not, but you will find out why you are sort of right. And I'm almost done.
Aerist: I had more plans for Rubern. You will see.
Sofia Lawrence: No. Her soul is completely gone from her body.
Bri: Hello Love! This should be interesting!
IcarusLSU: Merlin isn't vicious and evil, at least to me he is very much about justice and he was tired of playing games with him. And thank you so much for your support. :)
BB: We've talked. And I changed my ending already and I hope that this chapter has a long enough explaination for you and helps to tie in the loose ends a bit better from last chapter.
Susant123: You don't know what my ending will be like. Leap of faith my dear.
Lily: Unless you are lilmiss and using this name then that was sort of rude and I don't like that. Rudeness is silly.
Helenmorgause: Update on the way and I love Morgana. She's my favorite character and you all really don't think I had something up my sleeve?
Rdemon: First off. I believe in using only the amount of words that meets the need. There is no need for too much fluff. I know and it was hard for me to write too. You know about my trouble with action scenes and I had so much going on at once it was so hard to keep it all straight and things weren't happened at the same time like I like them too. And that was as dark as I wanted my adorable Merlin. No bloodthirsty limb ripping here. I liked doing the flashbacks and it made it a little easier to write up everything. Sorry it confused you. And yeah, I had the Mordred thing in the bag since a little after I thought up the bad guy. And no sharp objects please lol. This chapter here has a bit of the time jumps in it too. But it's only a day or so in between them and I warn you beforehand. I'm done skipping months at a time. This chapter should been an easier read as I really tried to stretch it out and explain everything. He's still angry and hurting and I think you can see it in this chapter too.
Shell22:I agree with you about the show. It ended up being "KILL EVERYTHING THAT MERLIN LOVES" and nothing else. And the explanations are coming soon.
Leather2Lace: **hands tissue**
Mergana456: I hate sad endings too.
Freckled98: Sometime you are clever.
DeaththeKidbemine9: I am full of tricks. I'm CLEVER. :P
Thewolvesaremyfamily: I did kill her. I am all powerful. And you will find out something interesting that might sate your bloodlust for Rubern.
Phhsdj: She is currently dead.
Pongo0614: Hello newbie! Glad to see you here. And don't cry. **hands tissue**
Guest: Because I have plans. That's why.
Ladwarlock: This is what made me sad btw. No joking or anything. I was really hurt by one of my favorites. It's like you don't know me or trust me. :(
AnimeRose93: Don't stress with classes! All will be well. And no reincarnation story, at least not at the moment.
Magpie09: Yay! This is a happy review. I will reward my faithful in the end.
MonsterJunkie: Long time no see stranger. Faith will see you through my dear. And I've missed seeing your monster avatar lol.
African Vintage: It was sad. But I have plans.
Darkangel665: Hello Newbie! And you shall have more. About 3ish more chapters more. And you are awesome.
Isolde: Hello Newbie! And thanks. I like inspiring feels. And I like feeling feels.
Scarletbanner: Tell your friends to hold onto their seats. And tell them I said hello! And that they should review before the end so I can say hello personally. And I'll be waiting eagerly for your review my dear.
Pureangel86: Hello Newbie! She is dead. Not out of itl.
Tigmeyers: Hello Newbie! And it might be worth it. You never know.
Sjritts: have faith.
Snicklelickinboot: I know and I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you.
Renaissancebooklover108: I am infinitely clever my dear. :)
MEEC7: Hello Newbie! And I have a neat name for the offspring. And that's really sweet! Thanks for your patronage and whatnot! I love to see my readers review so I can respond to them.
Bgeiner: Hello Newbie! Hopefully you will have more to say this chapter.
Iricious: I've missed you my dear. :) And have faith in me. You might find a reason to review this story for this chapter. And you have a gift for me?! This must have been a long time ago. I love gifts!
Mickey G.B.: I almost missed you. You reviewed past 10 on an update night. And you will see what I have in store. Sorry about your internet though. Tough luck.
Kini: You know I love you, right?
Alright. This is a super long chapter and I hope I covered everything. If not, tell me in the reviews so I can remedy that next chapter maybe.
I love all my readers and wish you a really good week! Oh! And I just started a new job last week as a nurse! Finally! Lol. I wish good news on you all!
I don't own Merlin…but man I want to.
Also! Does anyone watch OUaT besides the people I already know? Or Call the Midwife. If you haven't watched either I recommend it. Call the Midwife has 2 seasons up on Netflix and I love it.
XxOxX
"You've been asleep for a little over two months. You were struck with a poisoned arrow, and it traveled through your body quickly, so quickly that I didn't think you were going to live through it." Merlin sat down at the foot of the bed as Arthur adjusted his upper body against the headboard and pillows with a wince. His hand touched the dressing at his chest and he looked down at it with a confused look on his face.
"I don't remember…wait, yes I do." His head came back up as he looked back at Merlin with slightly widened eyes, "Did you say two months?"
"Yeah. Two. You've been here healing."
"How did the battle go? Where are my men? What was the death count? How are Annis and Odin? Did you kill that bastard? What about Gwen and my girls? Have they been here to visit? And what exactly is this place and why am I here?" The questions were rapid fire and the King of Camelot wasted no time in coming back from his slumber to demand answers.
Some part of Merlin missed their relationship, missed him and now that he was back; it was like a great weight had been lifted off of his chest. Morgana might be gone, but he still had Arthur and his child. "Slow down. You've only just woken up so one question at a time."
"Fine. Since you can't process more than one question at a time in that tiny brain of yours. Where am I?" Arthur looked around the cabin. "This doesn't look like anywhere I know of."
"It's not likely you would know where we are. After you were shot I had my dragon bring you somewhere safe. He chose Avalon, realm of magic and the fae. The poison that was on the arrow was specially made and came from here, so the only place a cure could possibly be found was here."
"But I don't have magic. How can I be here? Isn't that like a requirement or something?" Arthur's tone was incredulous as he stared at his friend.
"Normally, yes, only people who have magic or practice it can come to Avalon because only those with it can pass through the gate."
"So how am I here?"
"You are the exception to the rules it seems. Remember when you went to Morgause, after she challenged you? When you had seen your mother through her magic? You were born of magic, even though you don't have any yourself and that was how you were able to pass through the gate. You should see the look on your face, Arthur." Merlin gave a mirthless chuckle as his friend's open-mouthed gaze.
"So…why here again?"
"You were injured by a poison that only comes from here. No cure other than time spent within Avalon. If it had been anyone else, such as one of your men then they would have died within minutes. The healer that has been tending to you told me that you could come awake now."
"And why not before? Why did I have to stay here, asleep instead of awake?" Arthur was now looking around the room, his stormy blue gaze taking in his surroundings, checking weaknesses and assessing everything, but they were also searching as well.
"The pain, I'm told would have been intense and unimaginable had you been awake to experience it."
"Ah, good then." Arthur replied somewhat absently as he looked over his shoulder and winced as it pulled the skin of his wound.
"Are you looking for something?"
"Wha…oh…no. It just feels like someone is watching me."
Merlin nodded, "Yeah. It's just the sidhe that are here. I used to feel it too. They are always watching me anytime I come here, especially in this room. They don't trust humans."
"Oh. It feels familiar somehow, like it's someone I know."
"There's no one else here."
"No, I know. But what else happened? What about the battle? Where's Morgana? I was trying to get you away from Mordred when it happened. She had started to breathe again, but her eyes hadn't opened. Is she alright? What about Mordred? And…everything…" Arthur had brought his hands up and made a grand gesture with his arms.
"It's a long story, but first, do you want something to eat? I brought some soup." He gestured over to his pack, "Still warm. I didn't know how you would do with something more substantial."
"Oooooh, substantial, Merlin someone is using big words. Yeah, that's fine. I suppose I haven't eaten in 2 months so I should be starving… Why aren't I?"
"Magic." Merlin offered as he crossed the room to get his pack open and brought the sealed container of soup over. A quick look behind him with his second sight confirmed Morgana's status with the silvery aura surrounding her body. His child's mood changed on a whim it seemed.
"Ah, yes. Of course. Magic." Arthur responded warily.
"Still odd for you isn't it? Magic? Being surrounded by it? My having it? I don't know how you must feel about all of it, even after seeing me in action."
"A bit overwhelmed I have to say. You were utterly destructive on the battlefield. In fact I was a little jealous of you and a lot frustrated. If you could do things like that all along…"
"You would have burned me at the stake had a revealed myself too early and even now sometimes I think it's just a bit too much for you. And I haven't always been able to do things like that. My magic grows with time and use, and I'm able to hone it better as I use it. Think of it as a weapon like a sword. The first time you picked one up you weren't a master with it and it took time and practice to master it." Merlin brought the soup over and a spoon and Arthur took the food with a wince.
"Yeah…" He brought the spoon up to his lips and inhaled the concoction with a slight rumble of satisfaction at the taste. After the first bite he looked back up at Merlin, "If I'm healed, then why does it still hurt?"
"It will always have some pain, even though the wound is closed and the poison extracted. That's what your healer told me."
"And who was that?"
"A sidhe. She prefers to remain unknown. Eat your soup."
"I am eating. Now keep talking." Arthur took another bite of soup.
"What do you want to know next?"
"The battle?"
"Where to begin? I destroyed the army with a wave of my hand. A bit late actually. The earth swallowed the remaining enemy forces whole. It was quite the sight. After you had been shot I had summoned my dragon here and Aithusa as well and after he had taken you from the battlefield Aithusa and I had started a manhunt to find the bastard. It didn't take me long to do so. And after I found him I killed him with the same sword that Mordred had used on Morgana."
"Did you destroy it?"
"No."
"But why not? It's dangerous."
"All things are dangerous, Arthur, but I didn't destroy it because it is still very special to me. After the battle was over and the soldiers had been reclaimed with minimal losses on our side I went back to retrieve the blade and I found something very interesting had happened. When I had killed him, I had impaled that bastard on his own sword. After I came back to his dead body I found the blade alive with warmth. It seemed that through some feat of magic and my rage that his soul had come into the blade and is being tormented as we speak. I've sealed it in my vault below the Isle of the Blessed and only I can get into it. Death would have been too simple and if I had decided to I could have released him from suffering, but why would I do that?"
"Remind me never to make you angry, at least not really angry."
"He was the one who hurt everyone I cared about and he deserves it. I feel guilty enough about letting you get hurt. I should have been paying more attention."
"Accidents happen. No one can know everything and be all powerful. You are still only human. What matters is that I'm alright now." Arthur told him dismissively.
"Mordred is in my dungeons too. I locked him down there after the battle."
"Why? And what do you mean your dungeons? You don't have a dungeon."
"I do. The Isle of the Blessed."
"I thought you were rebuilding that for the druids."
"They sort of made me their king after the battle, after I had proven that I could protect them and aid them. It's really just a title that they gave me. The elders still manage most of the things they used to. I'm just the collective voice of the magical community. The one who has a say in the laws that are passed and I lead the holidays and ceremonies."
"You aren't a druid."
"Two months ago I wasn't. Now I am." Merlin loosened the ties on his shirt and pulled it to the side to expose the tattoo. "The elders had seen my coronation as the king, as the only one who could make our voice is heard. I've had to learn a lot of things in a very short amount of time and I've had a lot on my mind. I've also been out gathering magical items that were lost and returning them back to the Isle."
"You've done all this in two months?"
"Yeah. I guess I have." Merlin put his hand behind his head sheepishly. "What do you think about it?"
"I think that they chose well in their leader. And that you will make a fine king, after all you've learned from the best." Arthur winked at him.
"And who would that be exactly?" Merlin gave an innocent and confused look to his friend.
"Ha ha ha. You are so very funny, Merlin."
"I'd like to think so."
"So you are a king then? Really?"
"I started to rebuild the Isle, gave the druids a home, been fighting for magic to be legalized again, commanded the battle druids and have protected them. It's not like the way you are King or the way Odin is. It's different. It's not really a big deal."
"Of course it's a big deal! Serving boy to sorcerer to King! We should celebrate."
"You are taking this all in stride."
"What else am I supposed to do? Demand that you come back and scrub my floors? Stop being your friend? You are my best friend and I am happy for you."
"I think you are still delirious from that poison."
"Yeah, that's it. What about Annis? And Odin? And the Sarrum?"
"There were minimal losses on our side thanks to the healers. They made all the difference in the world. The only thing that might be important was that Percival was gravely injured and he was healed by Morgana."
"Where is Morgana?" The question hurt a little more than he had thought it would and he averted his eyes from Arthur and the woman in question as he answered.
"In the bed next to yours." The gestured he made was vague in her direction.
"What?" The king reached over and pulled the curtain masking her aside. "Is she sleeping?"
"She's dead." Merlin spoke softly.
"Dead? But…" He watched as she took an even breath, then another, "…she's breathing and look at her belly. It's even bigger than the last time I had seen her. She can't possibly be dead, Merlin. She's just asleep." Arthur argued with him.
"You have no idea how long I thought the same thing, how I wished for it to be true. Morgana's not there. Not in that body and not in the underworld. Ysira told me that her soul must have been destroyed in the spell that had thrown us back when she saved our lives."
"Well if she's dead then why is she still breathing?" Arthur was being stubborn again. "The dead don't breathe, Merlin."
"My son. He's keeping her body alive until he's born."
"What? Your son?!"
"He'll be quite the handful I think."
"But unborn children don't have magic."
"I did. I was moving objects like this before I could walk." Merlin lifted a candle from the bedside table with ease and set it back down.
"So, she's dead?" Arthur's voice had softened and a familiar emotion filled his eyes. It was an emotion that he had struggled with for different reasons than the man in front of him was currently struggling with. It was sadness, but at the loss of a sibling rather than a lover. Arthur cleared his throat as the king felt it tighten in pain. He set the bowl of half-finished soup on the table and put his head in his hands.
"Yes." Merlin nodded.
"I'm so sorry." Arthur's eyes filled with sympathy and Merlin closed his eyes against the wave of sadness that started to build in his heart. "Merlin, I know what she meant to you…"
"Don't." Merlin said quietly. "Please don't. Not right now." He took a deep breath, "It was hard enough to accept that she was gone. I've read so many books, thinking that she couldn't be dead, but not one gave me any hope."
Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but closed it with a sigh and settled further back into the pillows.
"Gwen is fine. And so are the girls. They miss you desperately." He changed the subject quickly.
Arthur kept his eyes shut, "I miss them too."
"Your Queen has quite the arm on her, but being a blacksmith's daughter I didn't expect any less."
Arthur's eyes came open in surprise, "What?"
"She hit me after I told her that she couldn't see you...again. She misses you desperately, but she is handling the kingdom well in your absence. You've prepared her well."
Arthur laughed, "I'll have to congratulate her when I get back…how long will that be?"
"A few days more. Just to make sure you are recovered."
"Can I get up?"
"Yeah. Let me help you." Merlin started to get on the side closest to the window when Arthur stopped him.
"No, this side." Arthur gestured to the opposite side of the bed, nearer to Morgana, his face was pensive again as he stared at Morgana's body.
"Arthur…"
"Get over here. Now." Arthur commanded the sorcerer and Merlin answered his summons as he walked to the other side of the bed as Arthur used him as leverage to lift his body up. His stance was wobbly to start, but the king found his balance quickly as Merlin aided him to his destination, which was Morgana's bed. Merlin lowered his best friend onto the bed next to Morgana and stepped back while turning his back to them.
Arthur took his sister's warm, but unmoving hand in his own. "Morgana…I know you probably can't hear me right now but I have to say a few things to you. First off…you were always so stubborn. What in the world were you doing on the battlefield? You are pregnant! What were you thinking? I guess I will never know. Secondly…Thank you. Thank you for saving my wife, my daughter and thank you for being there for her when she needed you. You two had always had a bond like sisters and she was so devastated when you had betrayed us because she had lost you. You have no idea how much your friendship really mean to her and she told me so many times while you were there how happy she as to have you back no matter how much I told her that it was only going to be temporary. She believed in you though when no one else did. But it was so hard to even hope that you would come back to us because of all the hate…all the senseless rage against those who had always loved you. I could understand your anger at our father. He wasn't the easiest man to get along with but you were always so kind and generous as a child and young woman. You always set me on the right path when you knew that I was straying. You reminded me about the important things all of the time until I could do it myself. Even after I had seen it with my own eyes I didn't believe that you were capable of such great suffering. When I finally accepted it my heart broke, especially after you had father killed. He was so broken after your betrayal…you have no idea sister. You hurt us and it was hard to cope with after so many others betrayed me. I thought it would be you and I forever." He was stroking her hand and brought his other up to her still cheek and Merlin fought to keep tears from his eyes. "And when we found you again, you and that dragon in the cave and brought you back to Camelot I had only the tiniest sliver of hope. I didn't ever want to kill you and I don't think even in all your anger and rage that you really wanted to kill me. You wanted to stop being afraid and alone and so you took it out on the only person that you could that made sense to you. We only had to show you the love and acceptance you craved. That was all. And I missed you, Morgana, missed the woman you had been, but I've grown to love the woman you have become now. You can't be dead. Not after everything. I still need you and so does Merlin. But you have always been so stubborn. Gwen says that it's a trait of the Pendragons. Father had it in abundance and so do you and even me. And you can't be dead and leave Ellie without her aunt. She loves you just as much as she does the two of us." Arthur's voice had thickened and he pulled her hand up to kiss it, tears starting to stream down his face, "And you've got a baby on the way. You've always wanted a child. You can't just leave him motherless, like I was and like you were. I love you. I just wanted you to know that." Arthur put her hand back down and wiped the tears that had just started to fall. "When will her funeral be?"
"It will be when she takes her last breath." Merlin answered through the thickness in his throat and his fists balled up as he continued to fight the fresh wave of agony.
"How will you get the baby out?" Arthur cleared his throat past the tightness that the tears had brought.
"Gaius is going to cut her open and retrieve him."
"What?"
"She won't feel it." Merlin said it more for his benefit. "And it's the only way to do it. She can't push and to even think about it is ridiculous."
"Are you sure she's really dead?" Arthur looked back at him. "She could just be in a coma."
"Wishing won't make a difference. And there is no sign of her anywhere."
"But couldn't you bring her back to life? Magic has to be powerful like that, otherwise what is the point?"
Merlin had been through the same thing and answered calmly, "You can't bring the dead back to life. It's too risky for one and it never turns out right. Besides that her soul isn't in the underworld to bring back to this body. It's impossible." Merlin never mentioned that he had attempted it in his grief, that moment of weakness to betray his moral center for her.
"So her soul isn't here and isn't there. Where else could it be?" Arthur's voice had taken on a different tone now, one of investigation. "Couldn't it just be hiding somewhere?"
"Gone. Destroyed. No one can sense it anywhere, even if it were somewhere else. And if it can't be sensed then how would it work?" He made a dismissive motion with his hand.
"How much magic does it take to destroy a soul? It can't be easy. And someone as stubborn as Morgana…"
"STOP!" Merlin shouted, angry now. Why couldn't he just accept it? Why did he have to keep talking about it? "There is no other place!"
"You're awful quick to give up on her!"
"You've been asleep for two damned months, Arthur! You have no idea what I've done to try to bring her back! She's not here! I've stayed up for days looking for any sign of life within her, looked and scryed and peered into the underworld for her. I've tried using our dead bond to contact her. I've tried everything I know to try! And so has Ysira! She can't find her either."
Arthur went silent as he continued to stare at Morgana, still feeling edgy about a set of eyes watching him.
^%%$$%$
There was anger, helplessness, and frustration. It was these feelings that constantly coursed through the spirit hovering over the two men. She was going to kill him, her mate. So quick to give up on her, but Morgana had to admit, even she would have trouble with believing in anything so out of the realm of anything one would have experience such as this. She had had time, so much time to think to twiddle her nonexistent thumbs and watch as Merlin grew colder and harder every single day. She watched Arthur's progression from the black-veined pale thing he was upon coming to Avalon to healthy again. It was all she could do. She couldn't sleep, eat, touch anything, only watch and it was driving her mad. Her brother's speech to her had been beautiful and heartfelt and had made her want to cry with eyes she really didn't have. She wanted to scream to them. Scream that she wanted to come back, to live again. She needed to rail at them that they were being clot poles and idiots and not looking right where she was, hovering above Arthur, above her sleeping form being kept alive to nourish her womb.
It was a secret though, as she watched her sleeping body, the aura was silver today. She had watched her body for two months and quite quickly realized something that neither she nor Merlin had expected. There were two babies within her womb, not just one. The silver seemed to be a girl and the dark grey a boy. Merlin was never watching, never here when one of them took over form the other because for only a couple of minutes both auras were shining brightly as if taking orders from one to the other. It was how they were keeping her alive. One infant couldn't stay up all the time to operate the magic necessary to keep her body alive, but when one would sleep their aura would be nearly undetectable and the other was so strong that only the most attentive of eyes could even notice that something was off.
At the moment of her death, the moment where her magic had collided with the death spell she knew that she was going to die and for just a second it hadn't mattered. She felt death almost instantly as her soul was ripped from her body and it died but her soul hadn't disappeared or entered the Underworld because something had tethered it to her body, making her unable to move on. She had seen the dark grey aura fade in her belly and felt a heart wrenching pain at what she thought was his death, but even as the darker aura faded the shining light of her daughter spread through her body and commanded it to live, despite the fact that no soul inhabited it to make her animated. She had scarcely believed it and had tried to enter her body immediately but found herself unable to even do that despite trying desperately for two months now. It should have been easy for her, but the spell that killed her was preventing it. She would need outside help from the very man who, in his grief had given up all hope of bringing her back. And even though she had her magic it refused to work on the physical plane.
She stared at the two of them talking and realized that her brother was turning his head ever so often and looking directly at her. He had even commented that he thought that someone was watching him, but that couldn't be right. Obviously if she could have been felt, Merlin would have done so by now. But what if he's blocking it? Refusing to believe it? The mind is a powerful thing. But even if that were true, how could she convince him otherwise? She had read something in one of her books that reminded her of her situation here. She couldn't move objects like other spirits and couldn't venture far from her body, not that she wanted to, but there was no part of her soul still residing within the shell. It was all outside and she couldn't establish a link to get back.
Arthur looked back at her again while he was talking. Could he really sense her? That was impossible. If Merlin didn't know she was here, or Gaius, or Aithusa then how could someone without a shred of magic sense her? She decided to test her theory and moved her incorporeal form to sit behind Merlin. She itched to touch his skin, not for comfort, but for herself. He was hers and she wanted to touch him again. Her sight went to his wrist, the wrist he hid from her, the one she had seen a few times in the dragon language. He had told her body what they meant.
It was her name; followed by what traits were a part of her which according to the runes was Ambition, Loyalty, Power, Cunning and a pledge of eternity stamped on his wrist. Hers had read his name and Love, Loyalty, Courage, Fidelity along with the pledge.
She watched as Merlin put a hand on her belly and give a small smile. Her daughter was moving. He only smiled like that when the baby was moving. He was utterly adorable when he looked at her belly, at their children and it warmed her spirit. Her mate put his hand on Arthur's and brought it up to her belly and put his hand over it. Arthur smiled as well and she felt that pain in her heart…well at least the emotion if not the actual body part.
Morgana knew that she couldn't stay like this forever, that without her body to animate the spirit that she would eventually fade away and that terrified her. She wouldn't go anywhere; just cease to exist in this limbo. No underworld for her, just nothingness. She knew much more about the underworld than her mate or anyone else had. Morgause had taught her a great many things before she died. Things that were in her books at her hovel, but she knew that Merlin hadn't been there in quite a long time.
She watched as Arthur's eyes flashed to her position behind Merlin again and knew that somehow he could feel her where Merlin could not. She suspected that it was because the bond was broken when she died, when her soul was no longer reachable.
She could use this. While Merlin was gone she could try to communicate with the only person who might be able to feel her. Merlin had closed himself off from her to save himself and she understood that. He had a kingdom to run…a kingdom. Shy Merlin was a King now, if only in title. The castle at the Isle was done and her people were living it if they chose to do so. Magic users were safe and happy and magic was being legalized slowly but surely according to him and another wave of anger washed through her. These were things that she had started, things that she should be there for right at his side, his Queen. But she was here, alone, floating above her body like some useless thing. Her time was running out. Her children would be ready to be delivered soon and when that happened she didn't think her body would survive any longer. It wouldn't rot because she knew that Merlin would keep her pristine, but neither would it be inhabitable once that happened. There was a timetable and she hoped that Merlin took longer still to decide when Gaius would take her children.
"Samhain is coming soon." She heard Merlin say and her attention was suddenly focused on him.
"Samhain? What's that exactly?" She heard her brother say.
"It's a holiday. A druidic holiday. Do you remember when those ghosts came to Camelot? When Lancelot died the first time?" There was pain in his voice. Lancelot had been his friend, the only friend that he could be himself with for so long and she knew that pain. He missed his friend.
"Ah, yes." Arthur acknowledged. "What has that got to do with anything?"
"There is going to be a grand celebration at the Isle and you should be out of here by then. You should bring some of your people to our castle to observe. It's really a fantastic celebration I'm told."
"I don't know about that…"
"Gwaine wants to go."
"Gwaine wants to go to anything that has a party. He'll use any excuse to enjoy himself."
"So?" Merlin chuckled. "It's in a week and a half. He won't get to enjoy himself a while longer."
"What will you do?"
"Lead the rituals for the honoring of the dead. It's nothing huge but it is important. It's about honoring the dead when the veil between the worlds is the thinnest. They say the dead can come back for a few moments when midnight strikes." Merlin chuckled. "But no one I've known has done that."
Morgana's mind started racing. She hadn't realized that it was so closed to Samhain. Of course she had no sense of time in this place, but if she weren't here her children wouldn't have the necessary magic to keep her alive. They needed a constant supply of it to nourish her and them. The mortal realm just didn't have it. A plan started to form in her head as she stared at the two men next to her still form. A plan that had to work or else she was doomed.
$#$#$# (3 days)
It was over the next few days that she tried everything in her power to catch his attention. Other than looking over at her position about the room warily he gave no other indication that anything she tried was working. And he was to go home tomorrow. She couldn't let it happen without something different, something that only he could convince Merlin of. Merlin would listen to his best friend, no matter how crazy it sounded. Not only that, but Arthur would make Merlin listen. She had tried moving objects, putting her incorporeal form in his path and other things but still there was no results as he started getting stronger and going outside to exercise his weakened body. He was sleeping right now. She wished that she could sleep instead of being constantly awake. She looked over at her body. Her son was at the forefront now. His energy was more masculine than the silver, which is why she assumed the second child was a girl, but she could always be wrong.
Her form hovered over his sleeping body. She had no idea what she was doing in this aspect as she hadn't had any practice in magic of the mind. If she had a body she would have taken a deep breath before placing a part of her form on his mind and pushing her consciousness into his unconscious mind.
At first she didn't think it was going to work, but after a few moments she found herself in the castle at Camelot watching Arthur practice. She looked down at her body and was surprised to find one there. She looked the same as she had before she was pregnant. "Arthur." Even her voice was surprising to her.
Arthur stopped mid swing with his blade and turned to look at Morgana with a shocked expression. "Morgana?"
"Arthur. Listen to me. I don't think I have much time."
"What are you doing here?"
"You are dreaming."
"I know that. I'm not an idiot, Morgana."
"I need you to listen to me."
"I don't think so. I have no idea why you are here in my dream, Morgana. I…"
"Shut it would you!? I have something important to tell you and you just keep talking as if your voice is the most important thing in the world!"
"Good God woman! I'm tired of you here. Go. It's my dream." When she stayed where she was Arthur looked confused. "I said leave! Go! Shoo!"
"Not a part of your dream, dear brother. And by the way I loved your speech to me the other day. It was very moving and I appreciate that."
"How do you?...Oh…you are a part of my dream so you would know everything I knew." Her brother reasoned.
Morgana was going to throttle him when she got her hands on him. "No. I'm not. I'm alive."
"I can see you right here."
"You can see me while you are awake too. Those eyes that are watching you. That's me. I see you track me all the time."
"That's impossible. Wouldn't Merlin know if you were in the room? I mean he's got the 'wooo stuff'." Arthur wiggled his fingers for emphasis.
"Woo stuff?" Morgana resisted the urge to put her hand on her face and sighed, "What are you, four?"
"Well you know what I mean! You can't be alive."
"But I am and if you don't tell Merlin then he's going to kill me for good."
"But you aren't in the underworld! And you aren't in your body! So you can't be here."
"I'm stuck between the worlds and watching as my body grows and my children will be motherless! And my mate is doing nothing to help me!"
"So what do you want me to do?"
"Tell him. Tell Merlin that I'm trapped and he has to help me get back to my body. Can you do that? Tell him to go to my hovel. I have books there that will help him."
"Yeah, yeah. I can do that. Definitely." Arthur was convinced at this point that Morgana was just a part of his dream and whatever she had to say to him was something he wanted to hear.
"Arthur, please. You have to tell him. I don't want to die." She begged him.
"You're already dead, Morgana." Arthur put a hand up on her cheek and gave her a sad look.
Morgana felt her hold on him slip away as she exited his mind as if forcefully thrown. Her incorporeal form floated above his body and when she tried to enter his mind again her magic wouldn't come to her aid. She threw her form away from him and wanted to scream. Why was this happening to her? Why was she doomed?
$#$#$#
Arthur woke up the next morning to Merlin coming through the door with some food. "Look! You're on time for once." Merlin glared at him for the jab and the blonde man only smiled back.
"Shut it. You look like you slept well."
"Yeah. I had the oddest dream." Arthur stretched out. "Morgana was in it."
"You don't normally dream of Morgana?" Merlin set the tray down on the bed, "I suppose I should be relieved then."
"Yeah, Druid King."
"I'm still the same old Merlin."
"I've never heard a bigger lie in my entire life. You've never been 'just' anything." Arthur picked up the tray and started eating, "It's taken some getting used to, your majesty. I never would have thought of you as a king."
"Shut it." Merlin walked over to Morgana and did his cursory check of her.
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway…I was training in my dream and all the sudden Morgana was there. Old Morgana, not the pregnant one. I think it was just my mind wanting her to be there. Anyway, she told me that she was still alive and to tell you. She was trapped in between this world and the next. Isn't that weird? Why would I dream about that?"
Merlin stopped his examination of her and turned back to Arthur with an unreadable expression on his face, "What did you say?"
"You heard me. She told me to tell you she's not dead and she needs your help. She said something about some books in her hovel. Where is that?"
"That's impossible, Arthur." Merlin was in a sour humor this morning. "How would you know about her hovel?"
"It was only a dream but she seemed desperate for me to tell you a message. I wouldn't dream of something like that. And this place is making me look over my shoulder constantly. Could you tell those fairies or whatever is out there that I'm tired of it." Arthur gestured outside his window irritably.
"You are leaving today, Arthur."
"Don't care. Tell them it's rude to look in on someone like this."
"Fine." Merlin sighed and walked to the door, "I have to talk to them anyway."
The trek to the meeting point took only a minute or two and he was almost instantly greeted by Girinda, "Hello, Emrys."
"Hello, Girinda."
"I knew you were coming."
"Arthur is getting agitated and he wanted me to talk to you about your watchers on the house. Could you have them back off until he goes home tomorrow? He needs his rest."
"There is no one watching the house, Emrys. There hasn't been for a very long time." The healer gave him a measured look
"There must be someone?" A cold feeling started to flicker to life in Merlin's chest. A feeling of dread.
"Anyone at all?"
"No one has been around that cabin for a long time, Emrys. If the Once and Future King feels as if he is being watched, it is not by us."
"I see. Thank you for your time."
"Good bye, Emrys." A small flash of light signaled Girinda's change to a will'o'wisp and he watched the creature fly away.
Merlin made his way back to the cabin and paused at the door, pushing his senses out into the forest around them to see if the eyes that were constantly on him were from the forest and when he found no being in the area he walked into the cabin and immediately felt those same eyes on him. "Tell me more about this dream. How did it begin?"
Arthur looked up from his stretches on the floor of the cabin, "Suddenly interested again? Did you go and talk to that healer woman? I still feel like I'm being watched."
"Yes. She said she doesn't have anyone here watching us."
"Great. We have a ghost." Arthur sighed, "Just what I need while I sleep. Some ghost haunting us."
"Ghost?..."
"Yeah. Ghost. They are magical aren't they?"
"Some, not all are magical but all of them are restless spirits that refused to move on." Merlin's voice had taken on an introspective tone. "What about your dream?"
"Oh. My dream. I was fighting creatures, magical creatures like griffons and drakes and the like, then all the sudden I was in the practice field at Camelot, practicing and I heard Morgana's voice. And you know the rest. But it was just a dream. Wishful thinking, wasn't it?"
"I don't know." Merlin stared across the space at Morgana's still form and closed his eyes, pushing his senses to the limit, "Morgana?" He waited for a moment and a faint spark of something at the edge of his senses, something that called to him but was gone almost at once.
"What? Why are you standing there like that? Is it really a ghost? Is she coming back to haunt us?" Arthur gestured to Morgana.
Merlin's eyes came open and he looked at Arthur with a mix of confusion and comprehension. "What did you say?"
"She's come back to haunt us. She's too stubborn to even die properly, my sister." Arthur looked back over to her body.
"Why would you think that? Why now?" Merlin came closer, searching Arthur's face. What could he know that Merlin hadn't already tried to find out? What was different about it? He had searched everywhere for some remnant of something to help him and within a few days of Arthur being awake the man already thought he was seeing her in his dreams. It sparked a dangerous emotion, one that could destroy him if it was proven wrong. Hope. Wait… he had said something about her hovel; about her books….it was the one place he hadn't ever thought to look for anything.
"Well my dream and I keep getting these chills at the back of my neck, like someone's watching me, but it's not threatening, not all the time at least and it feels so familiar. Hey! Where are you going?" Arthur called after Merlin, who had turned and rushed out the door.
A pair of eyes watched Merlin's exit with satisfaction and they looked down at Arthur on the floor, "Great, he's left me alone with some sort of ghost. If it is you, Morgana, why don't you just tell him all that stuff yourself?"
Because he can't hear me, Morgana thought to herself.
#$#$#$#
Merlin exited the portal in haste and turned around the illuminated cave. The crystals along its walls blinked and shined as the light from the torches hit them. He had brought the crystals here and set them in the walls, willing them to grow within the Isle itself, to provide a font for magic and they did just that.
It took him a few minutes to calm himself down enough to picture Morgana's hovel in his mind, every facet of the mound in the earth as if it were in front of him. He took a deep breath and focused his power. Within a few moments the crystal ridden cave had been left behind and the sounds and smells of the forest had come into sharp focus. Merlin opened his eyes and looked around at the familiar setting. The forest was dying at this time of year, preparing itself for the cold winter months in preparation for spring again.
The hovel was still covered in greenery if you counted the dying moss on the roof. The overhang that signaled the entrance was just below him and he jumped down to the entryway from his spot. He hit the ground with a dull thud and reached his hand out to open the door, reaching his senses out into the room to make sure he was alone.
Satisfied there were no intruders Merlin opened the door with a strong push and the door came open with a thud and rained dirt and dust over the entryway from lack of use. The inside of the hovel was dirty, covered in dust and earth. Some vials and containers had fallen off of the shelves and pieces of glass littered the floor again as well as dried up liquid from some of the containers. The interior was dark and even the light of the sun at high noon did nothing to illuminate it. "Leoht." A sphere of light sparked to life in his palm and he held it high as he entered the abandoned hovel. His gaze started at the shelves that dominated the small space and he made his way over to them, telepathically brushing things out of his path as he walked. It didn't take him long to find out those shelves held nothing of value to him. He moved to the other part of the one room shack and started rifling through the drawers, tabletops and shelves in sight. He pushed the globe of light into the air to free his hands as he searched. Finding no books he started to get discouraged until he looked back over to the bed. The bed. Merlin lay down on the floor and reached underneath the bed, and at first his questing hand found nothing but air and dust.
Finally his hand brushed against something wooden and box-shaped beneath the bed and he pulled it out. The box was moderate sized and the lid was latched. A simple spell broke the lock and Merlin lifted to the top to find a black book sitting on top of another darker green book. Both of them carried the symbol of a skull on the cover and the image of an eye on the binding. Merlin sat down on the thin mattress and laid the box next to him, taking out the top book first. There was no title, only the two symbols that graced its cover. He opened the book to find a small inscription in ink on the first page.
To my sister, Morgana. With all my love. May you learn what it means to be one of us.
Merlin brushed the words with his fingertip. Morgause did care for her. This book was a gift. No wonder he had never seen it before. Merlin flipped the page and looked at the titles on each one of them. They were all about Samhain, the spiritual world, the underworld. This book was by far more in-depth than the dozens of books he had read through in the past two months. It detailed the different levels of the underworld, death walking, a dozen of other things about lost souls, spells to send your enemy to a place between the worlds to be tormented, to kill them, to destroy spirits and bring them back from this place of torment.
Oblivion, the place between the worlds. It is sometimes referred to as Sheol. This place is one that is neither within the body, nor the underworld. It is a place where one is trapped or damned. Spirits who are in this plan do not last long. Some may last a year, but most die within the first month. The strength of the soul determines this.
Only those who share a blood bond with the body of the spirit can detect the spirit. It is sometimes described as feeling watched. The spirit has little else to do on this plane but watch. It is also linked to the body and unable to travel far from it. If the body is to decay, the soul will disappear forever, going to neither the underworld nor living again.
Merlin continued to read and the words only began to worry him. The longer he read, the more anxious he became. "How do I stop it? How do I bring her back?" He started to flip through the pages again, scanning the titles and the words until he came to what he was looking for. As he read through the spell and instructions he knew that this wasn't going to be easy. Of all the times that it had been recorded, this spell had only worked once. Merlin closed the book and put it back in its box. He picked up the box and centered his mind to take him back to the Isle of the Blessed. He had people to speak to.
#$#$#$#
Merlin walked down the steps to the dungeon, the flickering torchlight was the only source of light in the dark recesses of the earth. His steps echoed into the dark and as he descended he heard voices in the dark, a woman's voice and a man's. "Nikki. Stop bothering him about it. I don't blame him in the least bit for locking me down here. It's not so bad."
"Stop it, Mordred! The guilt practically bleeds from you every time I see you. I'm alive! You didn't hurt me that badly and it wasn't even you. You had been controlled by that creature that was killed in Camelot. Emrys killed that creature. He's being a tyrant by keeping you here."
"I think its adequate punishment." Merlin responded as he entered the doorway to the prison and Nicoletta stood up suddenly, caught off guard by his sudden appearance.
"Well I…"
"Nicoletta, stop." Mordred spoke up, interrupting her as she was beginning her tirade.
"Nicoletta, I appreciate you fighting for what you believe in but I need you to leave. I need to speak to him myself." Merlin's gaze met the younger woman's challenge and held her gaze with his steely one. Nicoletta looked away first, gave a look of sympathy to Mordred then stalked away from them, shooting Merlin a dark look as she passed. Merlin listened as her steps faded away before he faced Mordred, bringing up the torchlight to illuminate the room.
The piece of metal on Mordred's neck gleamed in the faded light. Merlin had retrieved the collar of Ainstrom and placed it around Mordred's neck for safety and after he had dispatched the creature, Merlin had left it on anyway to keep Mordred from using his magic against anyone. Kilgarrah had said that Mordred would kill Arthur. He wasn't going to allow that to happen. Merlin's eyes met Mordred's tired gaze and the scars on his face from Aithusa's claws cast shadows on his handsome visage. They started at his left temple and ended just above his lip, crossing his face diagonally in two even lines. The other two claw marks were lucky enough to have not left any marks on him. The younger man sat down in his cell and continued to look at Merlin with a measure of quiet anger and guilt. "What are you doing down here? You haven't been down here since you threw me in here two months ago. It is truly and honor, my king." Merlin could taste the sarcasm on his last sentence and he gave a smile.
"I need your help."
"Excuse me? You need my help? I don't think..."
"Morgana." Mordred's expression fell and his sentence abruptly ended.
He stood up from his position and walked over to the bars. His hands gripped them on either side of his body and he pressed his face against the bars, "What?"
"I need your help to save her." It was the one thing that Mordred wanted and the one thing that Merlin could have asked of him and the young man would do. Even now he watched the wheels turn in Mordred's head, his eyes introspective and calculating.
"Save her? She's dead, Merlin. You told me that yourself when you brought me down here with all the hate in your heart. Did you suddenly find a pulse? Did she wake up? Did you really lock me down here for nothing at all?" Mordred's voice had turned harsh.
"No. But I've found something new, something that if it works could bring her back."
"You can't bring the dead back to life, Emrys. Not even you are that powerful."
"Oblivion. Have you heard of it?"
"Oblivion? It sounds familiar. Why?"
"I have a reason to think that her soul is trapped there between this world and the next."
"And after two months you've come to this conclusion? It took you long enough then."
"It wasn't me. It was Arthur. He's awake now. He had a dream about her and in it she told him things that he would never have known himself. It's the only reason I'm even thinking about it."
"Arthur? He's alright?" Mordred brightened slightly.
"Yes. He's fine now. He's going home soon."
"Good. I'm glad. He's a good man."
"Yes. He is."
"What do I have to do?" Mordred asked him with an even gaze. Oh yes, Mordred would do anything for her and if she came back…when she came back it should be interesting what she did to him for hurting her in the first place.
"We have to have the cup of life, Arthur's blood, your blood, and our magic."
"The cup of life? Merlin…no one knows where it is. Not even the elders know it's location after it was stolen from us by Morgana and Morgause when they took Camelot with Cenred."
"Leave it to me." Merlin had an idea of where to start looking for it.
"And where did you find all of this out? I doubt there are volumes like this in the library at Camelot."
"You don't need to know where I found this out; all you have to do is play your part."
"And if I do this, will you let me out of here and take this collar off of me?"
"If it works and Morgana is restored, then she can judge you."
"Fair enough. When will we do this?"
"Samhain. It would seem the best choice, wouldn't it?"
"Good thinking. I'll see you then." Mordred pulled back from the bars and sat back down on his bed as Merlin pulled away and walked back up the stairs. This would work. Things were coming into focus now. As he walked up the steps the weight on his shoulders seemed to get heavier. He missed the old days, the days without bloodshed and fear, when he could enjoy himself around those he cared about. Things were so much more complicated now than they had ever been. He didn't think his heart could take much more of anything else, lest it wither and die. He had already seen far too much death and despair for a lifetime. Just this once he wanted the fates to be on his side. He didn't want to be her doom.
#$#$#
"You want me to do what?!" Arthur shouted at him after he had come back from speaking with Kilgarrah.
"It's only a little bit of blood. A little prick. You'll hardly feel it at all."
"Is that what you told Morgana when you two…" He made a wide gesture and a disgusted look came upon his face.
"Do you really want to find out?"
"No. No, I'm alright there. But why?"
"It's for the ritual. You share her blood. You are siblings and blood is important."
"Half of it, yeah. I don't know about this."
"You were the one with the dream. You can sense her."
"But what if it's not?"
"But what if it is? Would you tell her no? She's staring at us right now if you are right."
"Ugh. Fine." Arthur began to pace agitatedly.
"Good. And you will have runes painted on you…and you will have to be touching her."
"Will I be naked too?" Merlin gave him a look and a shrug, "No. I'm not getting naked. That would be no."
"What else?"
"You'll find out." Merlin spared a glance in Morgana's direction but didn't approach her as he looked around the room, trying to pinpoint her.
"Sounds like loads of fun. And if you are looking for whatever is watching us, it's over there." Arthur gestured near across the room to the other side of Morgana's bed.
"No, it's fine." Merlin kept his eyes forward, watching Arthur now, "I'm taking you home tomorrow and then in another few days you will come to the Isle and my castle."
"Yes, sir. Why aren't we doing it here?"
"The underworld has already been breach in that place. It's sort of a scar, easier to open and reach in."
"Won't she…die again?" He gestured to Morgana. "You told me that your kid needs magic to survive and that there isn't enough in our world."
"There's not, but I can provide the power for it. I just couldn't keep it going forever. She will be there a short time, just long enough to try."
"And what if it doesn't work?" Arthur was in front of him and locked his friends gaze, "What then?"
"It has to work."
"Merlin…"
"If it doesn't work she will be gone forever. No coming back, ever. So we have to get this right the first time. I need more time to prepare." Merlin watched his friend turn from him and sit down on the bed. He could practically feel the anxiety from the blonde man. Anxiety at being around so much magic, his wound, his time loss, and the ritual that is to come. "Tomorrow morning. Are you ready to go home?"
"You have no idea."
"I think I do." Merlin looked out the window into the forest, his mind was made up and he could be as stubborn as his mate. He would bring her back to him, to their child since it was his fault she was gone to begin with.
#$#$#$# (next day)
Arthur bent down to kiss Morgana on her brow and straightened just as pain made him wince. He rubbed the scar on his chest and turned to find Merlin picking up his things and starting to carry them out the door. Arthur caught up to him and took one of the sacs from him, "You aren't my servant anymore."
"I know. Old habits." Merlin shrugged and started walking again to the portal.
"So where is this portal?"
"A few minutes in that direction." Merlin gestured ahead.
"What does it look like?"
"A portal. Shimmery and it looks like a cave."
"Why's that?"
"It comes out in my cave at the Isle. I can bring you home quickly after that."
"It's almost a day's ride."
"Not the way I do it." Merlin chuckled at Arthur's look.
"How do you do it?"
"We travel through magic to get to your castle."
"Wait, what? More magic?"
"We could ride if you prefer."
"But how?"
"Morgana could teleport herself anywhere she had been as long as she had the power to do so. I learned how to do it as well. It's really helpful."
"Do you use magic for everything?"
"No. Not everything. Come on. It's up here." The light that came from the portal was an unearthly blue and he watched Arthur eye it suspiciously from next to Merlin. "We have to walk into it."
"Hmmm." Arthur continued to stare at it. "Are you sure it's safe?"
"Yes, now come on." Merlin gripped Arthur's upper arm and without much preparation or preamble he pulled the King through. One moment they were in the forest and the next the cave walls glittered around them. Merlin chuckled as Arthur brushed his clothes off and straightened with wide eyes.
"Huh." Was all the king said in response.
"The first time can get a little intense. Now hold onto my arm. This might make you a bit dizzy too." Merlin closed his eyes and focused on Camelot, the stone walls, the flags and the courtyard and a rush of magic overtook him as they moved through space and time to land at their destination. The sound of armor, horses and people greeted them as Arthur detached his body from next to Merlin's almost stumbled away.
"Daddy!" A shriek sounded from next to the door and tiny footsteps echoed through the courtyard as Ellie raced on her tiny little legs to her father, who picked her up and hugged her to him tightly. "DADDY!"
"Arthur?" Gwen's voice carried through the nearly empty space and Merlin watched as Gwen crossed the space faster than Ellie with little Meighan in her arms, the youngest Pendragon was nearly a year old and Ellie had recently celebrated her second birthday in Camelot.
Gwen crashed into her husband and daughter and wrapped her free arm around him with a sob of joy. Her lips met his with an eager sort of fervor and she was crying as was he.
Merlin pulled back from them, wanting them to have their own time together. "Wait! Merlin. Thank you." Gwen's voice came from behind him and he turned back around to be enveloped by a quick, warm hug and an apology.
"I understood, Gwen. Arthur actually thought it was funny."
"He would." She turned back to her husband, "Stay here for a while. Let me make it up to you."
"No. I couldn't stay. I have some things I need to get done. Arthur has some news for you and I think I will leave you four alone. You have a lot of catching up to do." Before either of his friends could say anything to stop him he pictured the Isle in his head quickly and felt himself move and reappear in his room at the Isle. There were books strewn all over nearly every surface in the stone chamber and the box with the two books that Morgana possessed was on the table next to the bed where he placed it after returning from his visit to her hovel. The room was evidence of his quest to bring Morgana back in the past two months. He had unearthed nearly every volume that had been lost during the purge, at least those that had not been burned. He had begun to use more scrying spells as they were relatively easy bits of magic and since he had learned to teleport he had been able to use his skills more readily. But, as Merlin well knew, nothing was ever easy and the cup was likely to have spells on it to prevent those who scryed for it although he had some idea of where it might be. He would try anyway and maybe luck would be on his side. He ran a hand through hair that hadn't been cut in two months and looked into the mirror across from the bed. His black hair was just long enough to start to take on a curl and his face had roughened at the start of a beard. The dark coarse hair that he had kept well shaved had made him look older. His elder self-had a beard, maybe he should start one now.
Merlin turned away from the mirror and lay down on his stomach atop the bed. He was so tired now, so very tired and couldn't sleep. There was so much to do. So very…much. His vision wavered and mind began to shut down as exhaustion claimed his body and mind.
%$%$%$
Merlin jerked awake as a hand landed on his back. For a moment alarm coursed through him and he was about to fire off a spell when he heard a familiar voice, "Merlin, wake up, dear." His mother was shaking him gently awake with the palm of her hand. Merlin turned to look at her and she smiled down at him. "The whole castle has been looking for you. You missed dinner. I decided to look up here for you."
Merlin pushed his body up unsteadily and rubbed his eyes with his hands tiredly. "I'm sorry. I just decided to lie down for a moment. I need to go."
"No you don't. You are exhausted. I will bring you some dinner and tell the druids that you are safe and sound. You've been pushing yourself too hard. No matter how powerful you are, you still need rest. And now that I'm here you won't be getting away with destroying your body like this."
"But I have responsibilities, mother."
"And so do I. I know you can do it all, but you shouldn't have to run yourself ragged to do so. You'll be a father soon. You need to slow down for a moment."
"I know. I know."
"You are doing incredibly well, though from what I've seen. They love you and you give them everything. It's so very odd to see you so grown up, doing all this by yourself."
"Not all by myself."
"You've had help, yes, but you took the initiative yourself from what I've heard. You look after these people as well as you have Arthur."
"Not really. They look after themselves."
Hunith smiled at him again, "Let me go down at get your dinner. You will be no use to anyone if you die of hunger."
"Alright, mother." Merlin leaned over and kissed her cheek before she stood up and left the room. After she had closed the door behind her he took a look around the room and realized that it was well past dusk outside and that he had been asleep for a while. Melrin stood up from the bed and started to clean up the room. He picked up the books on the floor and stacked them in neat piles on the shelves in the room. As he looked at the books he decided that this castle needed a treasury and a library and a scribe. He would have to get to work on looking for a scribe and he could commission one of the classrooms as a library. His mind continued to make plans as the door opened again and Hunith came forward with a bowl of stew, bread and some fruit.
"What are you doing up. Rest!" She chided him and he chuckled as he sat back down again. "I could have done all that."
"No. It's fine. It's my mess and you shouldn't have to clean it up."
"I'm well practiced in cleaning up after you." Hunith responded as she started to pick up the clothes on the floor of his room.
"Mother! Stop. I've got it." Merlin started to eat even as his mother ignored him.
"You need someone to clean up after you…" she responded softly and he looked up to find her staring at one of Morgana's nightdresses. For a moment he contemplated telling her about his plan, actually he contemplated shouting it to the heavens but he refrained. He didn't even know if it was going to work. There was no use giving hope to anyone else except their tiny circle of people. He wouldn't be able to bear the pain of it with anyone else.
"Fine. But tell me about tonight? How do you like it here?" Merlin diverted her attention and she started talking.
#$#$#$#
Merlin entered the cabin the next morning in higher spirits than he had been in a while. He walked over to Morgana's bed and did his cursory checks on her still form. He placed his hand over her swollen belly and felt the excited movements and kicks of their child in her womb. Silver today. He planted a kiss on her belly then on her forehead and cheek, "I don't know if it was really you in his dream, but those books helped me a lot. I also know that you are around here somewhere and can hear everything I say even though you can't contact me." His hand went absently to his wrist, "Our bond was broken when you died and I hope that if we bring you back, our bond will come back as well. It was stupid of you to go out onto the battlefield, but I know that you must have had a reason to do it, an important one. You are probably fed up with me too. I'm expecting very angry and loud noises coming from you after you come back. You'll probably call me names and I expect some sort of slap as well, but I don't care, because you will be alive to do it. You should see the Isle, see the happiness and smell the magic in the air. Aithusa will be so happy to have you back. Here I am, talking like this. I'm going to make bad luck for myself now. I talked to Mordred and he's going to help me. He was the one who stabbed you and has to be there to bring you back. You must be angry at him. I know I am. Arthur is also going to help, but you might already know that. Whose book was that? Was it Morgause's or her teachers? And you should tell me why they know so much about the underworld. The things that I've read in there are forbidden and evil." He continued to talk to her while stroking her belly and her hand at the same time.
#$#$#$
Morgana sighed in both frustration and longing as she watched Merlin speak to her body. She loved that man and hated him at the same time. He was so damned adorable sometimes and at the same time she wanted to strangle him. At least her brother did his job properly. She felt anxious and fearful as well. What if it didn't work? What if she was stuck in this form until she disappeared?
The book had been Morgause's, both books had. She had gotten them as a child and they had been blank and she filled them with her knowledge and her learning from the other High Priestesses that had raised her from birth. They were one of a kind and highly precious to her. Samhain was only a few days away and she had to be ready to aid them in whatever way she could and hope that her mate was strong enough to aid her.
XxOxX
I'm contemplating waiting until Halloween to post the next chapter, you know for fun and the coincidence part.
…
…
Nah. That's too far away.
They have one chance to bring her back and everything must be perfect. Tune in next week for a possible happy occurrence.
Much love and be gentle!
