A/N: Thanks for your reviews from last chapter. Many of you were pleased that Alice finally got Jacob.
Rosalie pays a visit to Jasper/Mordred's grave and we learn she is harboring a secret.
Enjoy!
RPOV
The overcast day was a perfect complement for my mood.
Riley and I approached the field slowly, taking our time and enjoying the unusually warm weather. While there was no sun, I could feel spring right around the corner. A rabbit hopped past us, then stopped and stared as though we were the trespassers.
I chuckled to myself.
Riley glanced at me and smiled. He was thinking the same thing. We reached the spot and he released my hand from his arm. He looked into my eyes and spoke.
"Do you want me with you?"
I shook my head. I didn't want to hurt Riley, but I needed this alone time. He seemed to understand this. Still holding my hand, he brought it up to his lips and kissed it. "Closure," he murmured.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"When you were saying goodbye to Jas-Mordred, Edward told me that you needed it. It was closure." He looked over to where I was heading. "So is this."
I smiled and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He has been so good to me. I knew it was killing him to watch me pine for a lover who ditched me, but I think he also knew that patience pays off.
I WILL be his wife…just not yet.
Stepping away from him, I walked slowly to the mound of dirt. It seemed shallow that the King's son should be laying in an unmarked grave, but then I remembered why.
He was a tyrant.
I knew that and yet I knew he wasn't. I was the only one that got to see the other side of him; the softer, gentler side. I knew there was good in him and I never gave up on it. Had his dream for the throne come true, I have no doubt I would be his queen.
I reached the spot and knelt down carefully, worried about staining my dress. I reached a hand out and ran it over the topsoil, watching a few pieces roll around and fall.
Silence surrounded us for a few moments. I knew Riley was behind me, but he wouldn't rush me. Like he said, I needed closure.
Finally, I spoke.
"Hello, Mordred. It's me, Rosalie. I must say, you threw all of us for a loop. None of us figured out that the King's bastard son was showing his true face as a Knight of the Round Table. Well played."
I moved a strand of hair behind my ear and looked up as a bird cawed while flying overhead. "You're probably wondering why I'm here. Well, I wanted to let you know that I forgive you for everything. I understand why you left me when you did; you felt overwhelmed. You were worried that I wouldn't accept you when I found out who you really were. You needn't have worried, Jazz. I love you and accept you for who you are."
I realized that I used the present tense. But it was true, I did still love him. I wanted him to know that.
"Yes, I said 'love,' Jazz. Mordred. Whatever your name is." I stilled my hand on the mound of dirt, right where his heart used to lay.
"I do still love you and probably always will. You were my first everything; first lover, first heartbreak, first time. That's not easily forgettable. I know that no matter who I move on to, you will always be there."
I lifted my head and looked at Riley standing twenty feet away. His face was to the sky, watching the approaching clouds. He lowered his head and made eye contact with me. I smiled.
"Riley is a good man. I thank you for stepping aside so he could have his chance. I know it wasn't easy for you; just as it wasn't easy for me when you walked away. I only hope that as you watch over us, whether it be Heaven or Hell, you will be pleased."
No doubt in my mind; he's in Hell.
I paused, wondering what to say next.
"Did you really know that Edward and Alice were related to you? That would explain why you switched the swords seven months ago. Or did you just view Edward as a threat? He returned just after you left. Morgan Le Fay had a curious way of going about things. I don't know if I would have done what she did. But I don't know what it's like to fear losing children. Regardless, life goes on."
My hand ghosted over my stomach as I said those words. Then I placed it back on the dirt.
"I should go. It's starting to get late and Jacob doesn't know I'm gone. I know he would never allow me to associate with a traitor, regardless of my feelings. Take care, Mordred. I love you."
I paused another moment, stilling my movements. I let my emotions overwhelm me as I drank in the solemnity. A tear dropped onto the dirt, and then another one, before I wiped them away. I didn't want to walk to Riley with my red eyes. He didn't need to know I was crying.
I composed myself after a minute and stood up. I smoothed my dress and turned slowly, seeing Riley watching me as I walked over to him. He smiled when I approached.
"Everything okay?" he asked, concern evident in his eyes.
I nodded, too afraid to say anything. He would hear the quiver in my voice and know that I broke down. I don't know why it bothered me; he knows that Jasper, Mordred, was my lover. He knows it will take me awhile to get over him. I guess I want him to think I already am so I can move on with him.
Is it wrong to move on so suddenly? I have my reasons.
He took my hand and we walked at a leisurely pace away from the burial site. I turned my head to watch it disappear as we headed down the mound, a warm and familiar breeze fanning my face.
Later that evening, I lay on my bed contemplating things. Camelot was changing. A new king was to be crowned and soon. And Edward would have to marry so he could try for a son to eventually rule. He had an amused look in his eyes as the chancellor told him that, as though he held a private joke. I didn't understand it; all kings were required to produce heirs.
Perhaps he just figures it's too soon. After all, he did only just return from the dead about a month ago; he probably doesn't want to marry yet.
Makes sense.
He has already promised I will continue as Head Lady-In-Waiting and Jacob would be promoted to Head Knight. My brother's smile was so wide that I was blinded by his white teeth. I couldn't help it; I threw myself at him when Edward told him that. Jacob laughed and twirled me around, saying he was happy that he was pleasing father. I reminded him that father was always pleased.
Edward has also promised to knight Riley. He said that his actions during the last attack were risky, but saved the lives of other Knights. For that, he was to be commended. Everyone was so impressed by Riley's swordsmanship that a unanimous decision was made to knight him. Again, I couldn't help it. I threw myself at Riley; hugging him and wishing heartfelt congratulations. He kissed me passionately then and said that night would be a special night.
I shudder to think what he meant of that.
Don't get me wrong; I do want to give myself to Riley in every way, just not yet. We have only been seeing each other for a short time. After Mordred, I am not ready to give neither my heart nor my body to just anyone. I also don't want to cloud my judgment now that I know how amazing lovemaking between two people can be.
Well, two people who are in love. You aren't in love with Riley.
Not yet, at least.
A light rap at the door stopped that train of thought. I got up and answered it quickly, thinking it was Jacob. The person on the other side surprised me.
"Hello, dear," Morgan le Fay said.
"Your highness," I said and stepped aside so she could enter. She looked around my room and smiled.
"You have a very nice room," she told me. "One of the perks of being in charge."
I smiled. I knew my room was bigger than the other ladies. I probably should care, but I didn't. I worked hard to get to my position.
"Would you like to sit down?" I asked, gesturing to the seats by the window. She nodded and walked to them quickly.
Before sitting, she handed something to me. "I was to deliver this to you," she said quietly. Looking down, I saw some fabric tied neatly into a bow with what looked like a letter peeking out of the corner. Sitting down, I began untying the cloth.
"Do you know what it is?" I asked her, looking up. She shook her head. "I was told by Emmett to give it to you."
I frowned. "Emmett?"
"Yes. He was sent to spy on Mordred during the last few weeks before the battle. He said his final order was to deliver this to you if the prince did not survive the battle of Camlann." She tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear. "He wanted to deliver it himself, but is indisposed at the moment."
I nodded. "That's fine. Thank you for delivering it." She smiled softly and gestured with her head for me to open it.
A beautiful scarf lay before me, the most exquisite color of blue that I have ever seen. I ran my hand over the fabric, feeling the softness and silkiness before bringing it to my cheek.
"He chose that because he said it matched your eyes," Morgan said. I put the scarf down.
"How did you know that?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.
She chuckled. "I have my methods."
She's a witch, Rosalie. Of course she has her methods!
I can be so dense.
Without another word, I picked up the letter that lay on my lap. The back had a red M emblazoned at the flap; Mordred's seal. I stuck a finger in the corner and tore it quickly, careful to not cut myself.
I was met with an elegant script as I began to read. Tears formed at my eyes as the first words came present:
"My dearest Rosalie."
I covered my mouth with my hand and shut my eyes. I had to fight back tears. I couldn't let Morgan see me cry; she had seen enough already. When I was composed, I opened my eyes to see Morgan watching me.
"It's okay," she said softly. "I won't judge."
I nodded and read the rest of the letter. It really was a "confession of sins" as he called it; all of his evil deeds displayed for me. He seemed to think that putting everything in a letter would absolve him of all wrongdoing. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps he is looking down on me instead of looking up.
I re-read the letter again, letting certain sentences sink in. His dying confession to me convinced me that he did truly love me and seeing it on paper seemed to confirm it.
"I will always love you, no matter where I'm at."
"You took me by surprise."
"You have changed me, tamed the wild beast, so to speak."
I folded the letter up and placed it back in the envelope, then hugged it to my chest, where my heart lay.
"Are you convinced?" Morgan asked me.
I nodded. "Yes."
"Good." She smiled and looked out the window, watching Jacob and Billy play contentedly. "I am sorry for everything I put you through, Rose. For everything I put everyone through. I should not have put myself first; I should have figured out a way for everyone to remain safe while following the prophecy. Words cannot express the regret that I feel."
I reached out and took her hand, surprised at how soft it was. "It's okay, Morgan. Really. We all know why you did what you did. You may think that Edward won't forgive you, but he will. I know him. He was in shock; who wouldn't be? Your confession is not exactly news we hear every day. But regardless, you are his mother. You gave birth to him and saved his life when he needed it. You gave him a sister and a second chance with Lady Isabella. And now, he holds the highest position in the land. All because of you."
She squeezed my hand. "Thank you, Rose." Her golden eyes were sad. I knew that she didn't believe what I was saying, but was willing to try.
I nodded and placed the scarf and the letter on the table beside me and then stood to pour some tea. It was late, but I didn't care. I handed a cup to Morgan and she began stirring it absently.
"Still worried?"
She nodded. "Yes. I haven't seen neither Edward nor Alice since the battle. Course that is partly my fault. I stayed away because I figured they hated me."
I smiled. She's like me. "I understand, but trust me. Everything will be okay."
She brought the cup to her lips and took a sip, letting the hot liquid slip down her throat. I did the same and turned to look out the window. Jacob was patting Billy on the head, pleased the dog could still keep up with him. Then the two of them went inside the castle.
We sat in silence for awhile, each lost in our own thoughts. The tea and biscuits were gone but our need for companionship was not. We watched the sky darken and the stars light up the sky. I wondered where Jasper was at the moment.
As if fate heard me, Morgan drew in a breath. I turned to look at her and saw her beautiful golden eyes were wide. She was staring intently at something outside. I followed her gaze.
My own breath caught in my throat. Against the tree line stood a figure, one whose form I knew well. He was iridescent in the moonlight, but his features were plain as day. His eyes were trained on me and he smiled when we made contact. I shivered, not surprised that he still had that affect on me.
I should have expected it; after all, Morgan is a witch. It is her duty to know these things. I held onto my secret and was afraid to say anything, mainly because I wasn't sure what to do. I realized afterwards that she could be my ally in this; that she would help me through it. And that was what I needed; someone whom I could count on without judgment.
As soon as the word left her mouth, he nodded slightly. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't dreaming and then he was gone. I would have sworn he was a figment of my imagination if Morgan hadn't tensed up when she saw him. As it was, she turned to me, eyes wide, as realization dawned on her. The word hung in the air like the smoke from a tobacco pipe.
"October?"
A/N: Have you figured it out?
There are two chapters left and then Mordred's letter as an outtake. Thanks for sticking with me. I truly love this story.
Reviews receive a preview.
