"I thought you didn't want to see me," Fenris said sullenly when he opened the door. "I suppose your unconditional support wasn't so unconditional after all. Should I be surprised?"

"Can we discuss this inside?" I asked. "If we're going to have a fight, it should be inside, not in the street."

Fenris stepped aside. "Are you all right?" he asked as I trudged in.

"Anders patched me up. I've still got a headache but I can see where I'm going." I was exhausted, and I still had other bruises that Anders hadn't treated, but I knew if I'd gone home I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway.

I didn't want a fight, but I could feel one brewing.

"Thank you, Fenris," I said, "for not killing your sister."

"She is not my sister!" Fenris snarled, "The brother she once had no longer exists. He's dead. Danarius killed him on an operating table. All she is is one of Danarius's puppets and she deserved to die."

"She did not. No more than you do, for all the things you've done."

"So that's what you think of me, is it?"

"No, Fenris, I didn't mean it like that." I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling flakes of dried blood slough off under my fingernails.

"What did you mean?"

"I mean she was doing what she had to, just like you did what you had to." I grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye, "but you're better than that. You've changed, you've grown. If she gets the same chance you did, what's wrong with that?"

"We don't deserve that chance." He looked utterly wretched and confused, above all else.

"Fenris, what's wrong? I mean, aside from the obvious."

Fenris held his tattooed hands up in front of his face with a despairing look as he examined first the backs and then the palms. "I chose this, Trip. I competed for it. So I could buy my family's freedom. She told me." He dropped his hands, "And if you'd let me kill her, she wouldn't have."

"You're blaming me?"

"No. I can't blame you for anything, can I? That's just it. Everything is my fault. And you just do everything right and make me feel like an utter wretch. You self-righteous sodding hero. Varric's right about that. Where's the room for the rest of us?"

"Nothing is your fault, Fenris."

"Yes it is!"

"You freed your family."

"And they hated me for it. They thought I had the better end of the deal, that I'd abandoned them with nothing. I couldn't even do that right."

"You were a child; you weren't to know any of that. You can't possibly blame yourself. No, of course you do. You blame yourself, and then you do nothing. You run away, like you ran away from me. You still haven't told me why and it's been weeks. And I just wait, and endlessly understand even though just you being there is enough to drive me out of my mind." I shook my head, "I don't know what to do, Fenris. I don't know what you want from me."

"Nothing!"

"Really?"

He paused, as if he wasn't sure what he'd just said.

"You really don't want anything from me?" I asked. "You could have said so earlier."

"No wait, that's not. That's not fair, Trip. Why do you always wait until my past has pulled the rug out from under me before you do this?"

"No, it's not fair. We're not fair to each other at all from what I can see. But at least if you're shouting at me or punching me, you're not running away. You always walk away, Fenris. And if I chase you then am I any better than Danarius?"

We stared at each other in silence for a few moments, breathing heavily. Fenris rubbed his forehead.

"You're nothing like Danarius," Fenris muttered eventually, "don't be ridiculous."

"Then stop looking at me like I'm twisting a knife in your ribs every time I try and talk about us. I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't to want to hurt you."

"Well we're both doing a pretty poor job of it," I pointed out. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life pining, Fenris."

"Then don't. Have I ever tried to keep you?"

"No," I said. "No you haven't. I suppose I should have taken that for what it was, shouldn't I?" I just didn't want to face it. It wasn't my place to question Fenris's reasons. I'd screwed this up from the start and I couldn't see how to fix any of it.

"It's better like this," Fenris said. "For you. I'm just not …I don't think I can do this. I'm sorry."

"So we're breaking up." If there had been anything more but impractical dreams on my part in the first place. "Okay."

I nodded to myself and bit my lip. Shoulda seen it coming, really.

Fenris was frowning and shaking his head, but he didn't say anything as I turned to go. I sighed.

"I'll be okay," I told him. "If Anders can get over me, I can get over you." At least I was going to keep telling myself that. "I'll see you in Lowtown sometime," I said. "I'm sorry things didn't work out."

Sorrier than I could say.

I bowed my head and fled, just like he'd done to me. I glanced over my shoulder a couple of times as I walked down the street, but his door didn't open, and he didn't call me back. Couldn't blame him.

Fenris needed someone who would let him have his space. Wouldn't demand the way I demanded, want the way I wanted. I thought I could talk everything into being okay, but I'm no psychoanalyst. All I could do was prod him, and I was lucky he'd put up with my clumsy handling for so long.

It was Gamlen's turn to cook dinner and we ate it in silence.


The next morning Fenris turned up at nine on the dot and apologised stiffly for shouting and for any hurt he may have caused. I apologised for the same. He looked utterly miserable, even though he tried to hide it when he noticed I was watching him.

I wanted to tell him all was forgiven and that it was all right for him to come back. But that was a selfish impulse on my part; he wanted to be free, and the last thing I should be doing was getting in the way of that.

Emeric arrived out of uniform and with his hat pulled down low over his eyes.

"How are you fellas?" he asked tensely. He didn't look like he'd been getting a lot of sleep.

"Been worse," I told him. "What can I do for you?"

"Here." He handed me a sealed envelope. There was nothing on the outside.

"What's this?"

"Just told to give it to you, and get an answer. It's better if I don't know. Just say if you will or you won't."

That was enough to pique even Fenris's interest, and he came around and peered over my shoulder as I opened the envelope. I could smell his cigarettes.

To the detective,

Rumour has it that several circle mages have been discovered living outside the Gallows. It would be in the interests of everyone to have them located and secured. Discreetly. You will be well paid.

There was no signature, but I had seen that handwriting before, on the condolence not that Orsino had sent me after Ma died. I suspect he knew I'd recognise it.

"This could be a trap," Fenris said. "It really looks like a trap."

We both looked at Emeric, who was frowning and looking uncomfortable. Eventually he sighed.

"Fine, I can guess what's in there. It's not a trap. I don't like this any more than you, but we've always had escapees. Every circle does. They're on our side, they help us with new mages, and make the walls not too thick for those inside. They trade things the Templars don't like mages to have. It's normal! It goes on in every circle, you can't control everyone and these mages act like a safety valve."

"So what's the problem?"

"They're meant to be discreet. Meredith's just looking for an excuse to bring them in, and," he shook his head, "something has gone wrong. We don't know what."

"Who's we?" Fenris asked.

"Everyone! Well, except Meredith and her close cohorts. It was just more efficient our way. Kinder. Escaping mages would come to them and they'd gently turn them back. Not this, one strike and your tranquil business."

He heaved a sigh, "Orsino's worried. We all are. We can pay. A lot if need be."

I held up my hand, "I'll look into it, no extra fee is necessary."

"Thank you," Emeric said. "We're honestly not sure who else to turn to."

I could see his point, but I wished he'd found another option anyway. He gave me another envelope with more concrete details, also handwritten, and a stack of coins before he left.

"Why did you do that?" Fenris asked. "Why'd you get involved? This feels," he spread his hands, "bad. All my instincts are saying we should not get involved."

"I know, mine too. But if I did nothing, and something terrible happened, I'd never forgive myself."

"I'm aware," Fenris said acidly. "You do realise something terrible might happen anyway, don't you?"

"Hey, I saw off the Qunari, didn't I? Maybe I'm invincible."

"Let's hope we don't have to test this theory out."

I was glad he still cared.

Our first stop was the Alienage. Orsino had suggested talking to the mage's wife, and he'd written down her name, but nothing more.

People recognised me here. Elves recognised me. I was the man who'd beaten the Arishok to a standstill. Children watched us go past, and for once they were watching me rather than Fenris. I got dirty looks and thankful ones in about equal measure, but there was a lot of fear there too. Elves don't like to see a human among them, especially one who was capable of doing what I did.

"Bloody hell, Fenris," I muttered, "I never wanted to be famous."

"It'll blow over," he said, but he didn't sound completely convinced. For all we knew, elvish mothers would be telling the story to their children for years to come.

Nyssa was a tired, worried looking woman, who didn't want to speak to us. She tried to close her door but I stuck my foot in it.

"I'm not working for Meredith," I said. I hoped I was telling the truth. "Can we please come in? This isn't a conversation for the street."

"They all know anyway," she said, opening the door again. I felt about three sizes too large for the room on the other side.

"He had a deal," she explained, "with some of the Templars. They'd let him out once or twice a month as long as he came back again. It was just to see me, nothing more. And then it stopped, and he sent me a letter saying it wasn't safe any more."

"Do you have the letter?" I asked. She found it for me, but it told me nothing more than what she'd already explained. The Templars were cracking down, and he could no longer leave; it wasn't surprising.

"Two nights ago," she continued, "he turned up on my door, excited and angry. He said he was tired of being taken for granted and ground under the Templar's heel. I tried to remind him how good some of them had been to him, but he just laughed at me." She blinked away a couple of tears, "And then we had a fight. We never fight. I've put up with so much, the talking and the whispering, and the loneliness ever since he left and he shouted at me because I was worried about him."

"So where did he go?" I asked.

"I don't know. Some Templars came around earlier to ask me the same thing. They weren't as polite as you," she added quietly. She looked up at me with sudden determination, "So I'll tell you what I didn't tell them. Huon said he'd be back, tonight, and that we were going to leave. I told him this was too sudden, too soon, but he wouldn't listen to me."

"He's coming here."

"Yes. I have this feeling that something horrible is going to happen. I've never seen him in such a state. He's always been the kindest, and sweetest-" she broke off with a sob.

When we left the house Fenris looked at me, "Who should we bring?" he asked.

"Merrill," I said. "We can stay at her place until dark. Let's let Anders get his beauty sleep this time."