Disclaimer: Noblesse isn't mine.
Printer Mafia
"Hey, boss?" Tao called, uncharacteristically confused, and his eyes raced back and forth across the paper, reading and rereading the same line over and over as he tried to grasp the meaning. "I thought you didn't like our old printing supply company. Isn't that why you switched to the new one?"
Frankenstein's mouth creased into an unamused flat line. "Loathe would be a more accurate term."
"'Cause we've had a few problems with them in the past, right?"
"If by 'a few problems' you mean nothing but problems, then, yes, we have had a few problems. I have stopped counting the number of times we have been over-charged on the invoices. I will have no further dealings with them."
"Then why did we order a new shipment?"
Frankenstein pinned the wireframe of his glasses between two fingers and pulled them off so that nothing interrupted his glare. "What did you say?"
"Ummm…" Tao twisted the paper behind his back.
His palms hit the desktop, and he supported his weight on locked elbows as he angrily rose to his feet. "Who ordered it?"
"Y-You see, about that..." Tao shuffled backward until his back slammed against the door and scrambled for the doorknob. "I'll just leave this here for you!" He threw the paper in the air and fled from the room.
"Just a moment." Frankenstein growled into his ear, catching him by the collar and holding him in the air as his feet flew out from under him only to dump him on the floor as soon as he had dragged him back inside. "Pick up that paper while you're down there." Circling around his desk, he pressed the button for the intercom. "Please contact Inkwell Printing and cancel any pending orders. We no longer do business with them."
"Yes, sir." A feminine voice replied and instantly disappeared to obey the command.
"Am I to assume this is your mistake?" Frankenstein slid into his chair and folded his fingers in the air. "I believe that I made it very clear that I find their work ethic unacceptable. You are aware of this. You headed the search for their replacement."
"I know." Tao clutched the paper over his heart and closed his eyes. Maybe if he just lay here and played dead, then he just might live through this.
"There will be consequences. This company was persistent enough when we first switched to the new one. For months I received unwarranted phone calls regarding their dismissal, and only recently have those subsided. To have all of that work undone by one mistake!" Frankenstein pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a tired sigh and replaced his glasses over his eyes. "Tao, why are you still on the floor?"
"I'm preparing for death."
"Hmm, that's a little extreme. I won't kill you until we're off school grounds," he murmured as he refreshed his coffee and brought his cup to his lips, holding it there as he added one more line. "As if I would bloody my office."
"About that—"
Frankenstein set the cup down on the desktop, freeing his hands to search through his files. "But this is unusual. It isn't like you to make this kind of mistake."
Tao finally got off the floor. Standing gave him a better chance should he need to make a second hasty escape. "Boss, about that…"
"Yes, what is it?"
"It wasn't me."
"It wasn't you?" Frankenstein looked up from his files. "Very few people are able to place orders on behalf of Ye Ran. Fewer still are able to place them without my final approval. If not you—"
"Excuse me, Chairman." The secretary's voice sounded over the intercom. "I have the printing supply company on the line, but they insist that I am not authorized to cancel the order since I did not create it."
"Whom do they claim created it?"
"You, sir."
"Me?"
"Yes, sir. I tried to dissuade them, but they were adamant that you created the order."
"That's what I was trying to tell you," Tao whispered, nervously placing the invoice on the desk and underlining Frankenstein's name with his finger. "I thought that maybe it was a mistake?"
"Impossible."
"Yeah, you don't make mistakes. Not like this."
Frankenstein narrowed his eyes to inform him that the last part wasn't needed.
"Right!" Tao agreed instantly. "You don't make mistakes, not at all! It was probably their mistake, not yours."
"Of course it was." Pacified, Frankenstein easily adopted the explanation. "This company has a history of errors with us. It is reasonable to believe that this mistake is no different than any of their previous ones. I have no record of ever making the order. I would like to see proof that I ordered this shipment." He pressed the button for his secretary again. "I will accept the call. Patch it through."
"Yes, sir." She stated matter-of-factly and, just like the first time, silently disappeared to fulfill her mission. Her voice reappeared on the line within seconds. "Chairman, I cannot complete the transfer."
"What happened?"
"They refused to be transferred and hung up. Shall I call them back?"
"No, I will handle it from here." Frankenstein dialed the number from memory and entered the correct extensions without listening to the prompts. "Tao, pull up this order in their system. I want to see how they obtained it."
"Good morning!" A chipper voice greeted them although it was well into the afternoon. "Thank you for choosing Inkwell Printing as your printing supply source! How can I help you today?"
"Hello, I am calling in regard to order number 1565156795."
"Please hold while I look it up." The employee answered, and music instantly began to play.
"I have it." Tao positioned his phone so that Frankenstein could see the screen as he maneuvered through the order. "Their system was relatively easy to hack even for a civilian site. They don't put much thought into security, not that that would have stopped me."
"And the creator of the order?"
"It was created internally, but they made an annotation to use your name. Pretty shady if you ask me."
"Sorry about the wait." The employee said rotely. "I have your order pulled up. How can I help you?"
"I would simply like to cancel it."
"Sure, may I ask who is calling?"
"Yes, I am the chairman of Ye Ran."
"Oh, sorry, I'm unable to cancel this. It looks like the order has already shipped."
"What do you mean?" Aura seeped into the room unabated as if the chilling atmosphere could somehow influence someone through the telephone line. "Do you expect me to believe this order has already shipped when it was still active a few minutes ago when my secretary spoke to your company on the phone?"
"Yes, it can happen pretty quickly sometimes. We're quite fast. Well, it looks like your issue has been resolved. Thanks for choosing Inkwell Printing!" The line went dead.
Frankenstein pried his fingers from the receiver one by one before it crumbled into a twisted heap of plastic and metal. "He dared to hang up on me."
Tao backed away, giving himself a head start for an escape although the same distance hadn't helped him earlier. "About the order…"
Frankenstein glared, warning him to make it worth his time.
"It hasn't actually shipped. I can cancel it for you."
"No, let it come." A smile eerily spread across Frankenstein's face. "I will accept this challenge."
"What are you going to do when it arrives? We never ordered this."
"I'll burn it." Frankenstein nonchalantly sipped from his coffee cup and grinned into the liquid. "After all, this is war."
-F. V.
This was a challenge from a friend. Inkwell Printing doesn't exist as far as I know.
