"Ed." Wordy walked through the parking lot, to where Ed was leaning on the front of his SVU. "Any word on Donna?"

"No. I have no good answer to where she went. One minute she was talking to Dr. Luria, and the next she was out the door."

"Donna was talking to Dr. Luria?" Wordy raised an eyebrow, mostly in surprise, because even though Dr. Luria had helped them through the toughest times, Donna was one who didn't love talking about her feelings then there was a case. Why would she like it now?

"We needed an unbiased opinion. Right now we have no way of knowing what she knows about Patricia Hagly, other than she was married and has a son, which Jules and Sam are trying to track down right now."

"What about the house? Any clues leading you to why she would have changed from Patricia Hagly to Alice Henderson?"

"So far we've got nothing. Because this is a high profile case, Dr. Luria can't interview her until tomorrow. I still think Donna is our best bet at cracking this case." Ed paused, collecting his thoughts as he sat on the hood of the car. "As for the house, Spike and law enforcement are combing the place for any further clues we might have missed."

"Okay. Any clue to why she left the SRU?" Wordy inquired, pressing for further details as he leaned his elbow against the car.

"Dr. Luria mentioned she remembered Hank."

"Do you think she could have to the house looking for him?"

"If she remembers where she lives. For all we know, she could be in a taxi circling around the city."

"Want to check it out? Hank and Donna's house isn't too far away from here."

"Let's go." Ed stated immediately after pulling the keys out of his pocket. "If she's there, I have a feeling she won't have any way to get into the house."

"Did Hank mention when he was coming back?" Wordy pressed, securing his seatbelt as they exited the parking lot.

"He didn't care to share that detail." Ed glanced into the side mirror as they passed a truck carrying fuel. "That's okay. I haven't figured out a good way to tell Hank his wife is actually alive, not dead."

"I don't think there's any good way to say it."

"There isn't." Ed frowned, turning the corner towards a well-kept neighborhood. "Not sure Hank's going to take it well either."

"It's hard for anyone to understand why she's alive. I still don't understand why she's alive either, but we need Donna to know exactly what happened."

"And if we can't find her, we'll never know the answers to our questions." Ed sighed heavily as he signaled and headed further into the neighborhood.


JULY 17, 2011

"Okay, spill." Shelley announced as we organized our bags in the back of the car. It had taken nearly another hour and a half to find a dress for her, and I felt exhausted and beyond wanting to talk about anything other than what I was going to do for the night, like sitting on the couch and drinking a glass of wine. "We know when something's wrong."

"Nothing. Just got a lot on my mind."

"Like what?" Sophie pitched in as she dug her keys out of her purse, then stopped abruptly as the metal keys swayed back and forth. "Look, we don't mean to push. It's just we've all noticed you've been quiet."

"Lots of things." My mind raced as I climbed into the passenger seat. I should have offered Shelley this seat so they could only glance at me through the mirror and be just beyond arm's reach. "Who exactly is we here?"

"I overheard the boys talking at the Fourth of July party about how worried they were about you. I didn't want to believe what they were saying because I knew you and Hank have been busy with work and such, so I didn't think much of what they were saying until now."

"What I think Shelley means is that we're all worried about you. We know things haven't been easy the past four months and that can really stress a person out." Slowing down at the crosswalk, a mother pushed her daughter across the street in a pink stroller. I couldn't help but glance longingly as the little girl danced in her stroller. I wondered if I would ever get the opportunity to do the same thing one day.

"She's cute, isn't she?" Sophie's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "She reminds me a little of Isabel when she was that little-" I seemed to drown out the rest of the conversation as I watched they disappeared down the street. "Donna?"

"Hmm?"

"It's the little children, isn't it?" Sophie guessed as we stopped at the red light, a dozen or so cars whizzing past us. "I see it in your face whenever we talk about a child or see one."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Not really." Sophie shrugged as she watched the light change and the traffic slowed so we could turn. "I tried to hide the fact I wanted another child because I never thought it would happen. The desire was always there, no matter how deep I tried to bury it."

I looked out the window knowing she had hit my thoughts right on the nail. Although not every person wants a child, there are many who do and can't have one because they don't have a husband or partner, or they have a child but aren't able to get pregnant again.

I was none one of those things. I had a loving and patient husband who would do anything for me. I wanted a child so badly it hurt to think about but was constantly on my mind. I wondered how he could be so calm about all this. He had never once shown frustration about not being able to get pregnant, just concern.

"Can I ask you guys something?"

"Sure." Sophie responded quickly as we turned down a street with an old cathedral. It was one I had passed many times through town but had never paid attention to until now.

"Absolutely. What do you need to ask?" Shelley mentioned as she leaned forward in her seat so she could see both of us.

"How did your husbands act when you told them you were pregnant?"

"It took us almost two years to get pregnant with Clark after we were married. So, when I did get pregnant, he was elated to find out it was a boy." Taking in a deep breath, Sophie's expression grew a little more serious as she focused on the road. "When we got pregnant with Isabel, he was so shocked, I thought he was going to collapse on the floor. She was such a miracle and just what we needed to complete our family."

"What about you Shelley?"

"Let's see. When Wordy found out the first time, he was so excited. When he started to think of the logistics of what it meant to have a baby, it terrified him for a little while and took a few months before he really warmed up to the fact I was pregnant. After the other two came along, was when he realized he would be outnumbered for the rest of his life."

"Now, can I ask you something?" Sophie inquired as we stopped at yet another light. I knew we were close to our destination, so we didn't have much longer with this conversation. I was relieved but at the same I wanted to know if their husbands had responded the same way Hank had. It baffled me how calm he was, even despite the news of our baby and our miscarriage. "And you don't have to respond if you don't want to-"

"Sure."

"Are you and Hank actively trying to have a baby right now?"

"We've been trying, yes."

"And?"

"Nothing's really happened yet." I shrugged, having a change of thought of telling them what really happened. "I had a miscarriage." Still I said it quietly, almost to the point that if you weren't listening, you would have missed those four little words.

"Say that again, because I thought I just heard you say you had a miscarriage." Shelley registered the conversation first from the back seat.

"When did this happen?" Sophie glanced over at me, trying to focus on the road before the silence got to her and she finally pulled into a gas station parking lot.

"Exactly one month from today."