Chapter 44 - Vulnerability and Determination

Shepard silently watched the disk disappear into the darkness.

When Miranda turned back to them with a smirk, Garrus was there with a fist to wipe it off. As she staggered back, he spun, leg outstretched, to take Miranda's feet out from under her, and once she hit the ground, he swiftly turned her face-down, and pinned her arms up behind her back. He'd taken down plenty of lowlifes during his time with Citadel Security. "Well, that was stupid. You've shown your hand too soon, Cerberus. Backstabbing bitch," he growled.

Miranda laughed scornfully, her cheek pressed into the cold metal platform. "Do what you want with me, but Cerberus still wins. The Illusive Man always gets what he wants. You're running out of time, Shepard. It's the radiation pulse, or failure."

Shepard looked at Miranda, unsurprised by her betrayal, but still strangely disappointed. The woman was as ruthless as her boss. She shook her head with an over-exaggerated sigh. "You're underestimating me, Miranda. Garrus?"

"Left leg, top pocket. Oh, Lawson, you have no idea how satisfying this is going to be."

Shepard laughed. "Can you not say things like that when I'm about to rummage in your pocket!"

"You know, I'm beginning to think it's your dirty mind, rather than my choice of words," he observed.

"You could be right," she accepted.

Miranda lay there in confusion at their unconcerned, casual banter. Then she watched Shepard withdraw another data disc from the turian's pocket.

"Seemed a bit foolish not to take a backup. Just in case something happened to me, or it," Shepard said matter-of-factly.

"Got to love a backup," agreed Garrus. "Except if you're Cerberus."

Lawson suddenly started to power up her biotics, but Garrus dealt her a hard blow that knocked her out. He'd had to deal with plenty of biotic lowlifes too.

Shepard inserted the disk and replaced the console. "Let's move. We've got thirty minutes before the reactor overloads and blows the whole station apart."

"Please don't tell me 'no one gets left behind'?" Garrus gestured to Miranda.

"Sorry, Garrus. Not even her."

He gave a suffering sigh. "That soft heart's going to get you into a lot of trouble one day." He started to bend towards Miranda, when everything started shaking.

They both un-latched their guns in anticipation of something bad. The sight of the unformed Reaper rising up, now very functional, was an extremely unwelcome sight when they only had half an hour to get out.

Shepard grabbed Miranda, pulling her behind cover beside Garrus. She peered over as its 'eyes' swirled - for some reason it had three, two of them on one side - and then ducked as it shot out a wide powerful arc of energy. They needed to hit a weak spot. "Garrus, I'm thinking we aim for its eyes."

He glanced over the wall. "Looks like a good bet."

They swapped to their sniper rifles.

"Aim for the single one." Shepard then gave a quick nod that she was ready, which Garrus reciprocated, and they swung up, aimed and fired at the same time. They sunk down to reload, then did it again, this time having to rapidly dive away as another arc of energy streamed over their heads. They had to get this thing down faster.

Shepard swapped to her heavy weapon. After her conversation with the Illusive Man, it seemed rather hypocritical of her to use it, but she reasoned that if she had a Cain to hand, it would be just as effective. But she didn't so... When they leapt back up, Garrus took his shot and Shepard held the heavy weapon on it, moving the beam in time with the Reaper's erratic movements. This time, as Garrus knelt to reload, Shepard stayed up, maintaining the pressure. The Reaper - an 'embryo' as described by EDI - was about to let loose, and Garrus reached up to tug her down, but then the 'eye' was breached, and the Reaper reared back as the energy contained within started spewing out and igniting.

Garrus stood up beside her to watch its downfall, aware of Miranda stirring nearby. He got ready to put her down again, but then the Reaper was falling forward, hitting the platform. The weight of it was too much for the platform's mass effect fields, and it tipped with the Reaper's descent. Garrus and Shepard held onto the wall in the centre of their platform, only the now-conscious but dazed Miranda wasn't ready, and she toppled over the wall that had provided her cover earlier, and started sliding down. Her instincts had her scrambling for a purchase, but it was futile on the smooth surface.

Shepard swore and flung herself after Miranda, to the sound of Garrus' horrified protest.

The Reaper was now off the platform, which was able to begin righting itself, but Miranda's momentum and proximity to the edge meant she wouldn't be able to stop in time. Shepard caught Miranda's outstretched hand just as she went over, and the platform levelled. Then Garrus was there, unceremoniously yanking Miranda up, fixing Shepard with a hard look.

Below them, an explosion from the Reaper threw the platforms into disarray. The three of them struggled to stay upright, grasping onto the walls again.

Shepard could see solid ground not too far away. They were travelling in the right direction. Just a little further….

"Oh no," groaned Garrus.

Shepard looked behind them to see an out-of-control platform flying towards them at high speed. There was nothing they could do. And then it hit them.

x

"Registering a large explosion in the same vicinity as Shepard and her team. They are not moving," advised EDI.

Joker didn't like that. "Commander? Do you copy?" …

There was nothing, and he could feel the others congregating in the cockpit behind him.

"Come on, Shepard, don't do this to me. Respond! … Anybody!" …

"I am going back," stated Thane, turning away.

"Not so fast, Krios," interjected Jacob, his hand raised. "Our orders were to return to the ship." The drell gave him a dangerous look.

"I follow Shepard, not you. In her absence, my will is my own." He made to move past Jacob, but the security officer stepped into his path.

"The Commander made me lead in her stead, Krios. Respect that, and stay on board."

Tali saw Thane's hands fist as the men faced off one another. "Please, Thane. Jacob is right. Shepard would not want you to go back for her. There's still time."

Thane looked at Tali, her hands restlessly moving over one another like she was washing them. An anxious gesture. He knew Shepard and the quarian were close. And she spoke the truth. He forced away the cold rage that threatened to take control, and stepped back. "I apologise, Mr Taylor."

"Don't worry about it. We're all on edge."

Behind him, Jack was pacing up and down the aisle between the cockpit and the CIC, surrounded by a biotic aura.

x

Shepard rose up painfully from the ground, her head spinning. It was all she could do to get to her feet, her gaze fixed on Garrus, pinned under debris. He was conscious, but completely immobile, one arm stuck beneath his body.

Before she could reach him, Shepard was lifted up in the air and then slammed down hard into the ground. The air was knocked from her lungs, agony radiating throughout her body, causing her vision to blur. Then a gun was at her head.

"No!" shouted Garrus, in fury. "Damn it, she saved you back there!"

Miranda shrugged. "Then we're even."

Garrus wrestled against the weight on his back, unable to dislodge it or reach for a weapon. He couldn't even call for help - his comm unit had been knocked from his head and lay tauntingly in front of him.

Miranda focused back on Shepard. "You've fulfilled the purpose I was ordered to bring you back for, Shepard. Now I think it's only fitting I get to send you back where I got you." She pulled the trigger as Garrus roared, but the click signalled a spent heat sink. She had nothing to replace it with, so she pistol-whipped Shepard as hard as she could, causing Shepard to black out. She ignored the snarling turian and checked her omnitool, her face throbbing where he'd struck her earlier. "Only twelve minutes left. A shame you won't make it out in time," she said snidely to Vakarian. She flung him one last smirk before she started running through the corridors.

x

"Moreau, I'm on my way out. Get to my nearest exit," Miranda's voice burst through into the cockpit.

"What about Shepard and Garrus!?" frowned Joker.

"They didn't make it."

He couldn't speak for a moment. "On way to your position," he announced, mechanically.

There was nothing but silence in the cockpit as everyone felt the loss.

x

Garrus' breath was heaving from his effort to free himself and his wrath at Lawson. His eyes never left Shepard's face. Blood flowed from the deep gash along her cheekbone. He was useless to her. He told her. He told her that heart of hers would get her in trouble. But he never imagined this. Lawson, the antithesis of Shepard.

Shepard groaned, bringing his attention back. "Shepard! You've got to move! We're running out of time! You can do this!"

He watched as she brought her knees up, starting to brace herself with her arms, even as her forehead stayed in contact with the ground, her eyes squeezed shut from the pain. Then she was staggering to her feet, and he could see the pure determination in her face as she tried to focus. She fell to her knees beside him. Then she turned herself so she had her back against the heavy metal on top of him. "Ready?" she murmured.

"Now!" Garrus heaved up as Shepard used the power in her legs and back. It moved slowly, screeching sideways. Then Garrus had more mobility, and he could angle himself to get more leverage. Another push and he was free. Despite his aching body, he sprang up and helped steady Shepard. He checked his omnitool. "Six minutes, Shepard."

As they started moving, she activated her comm. "Joker, did the ground team make it?"

"Commander!? Damn, it's good to hear your voice! Yeah, everyone else is on board. We're just waiting on you! What the hell happened? Miranda said we'd lost you!"

"I bet she did. She's there too?"

"Now between airlocks-"

"I want her secured, immediately."

"Uh, okay. I'll get someone on it."

They weaved through the corridors. Then the General's voice echoed off the walls. "Human, you've changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction."

Shepard ignored it. It took all her concentration just to stay upright, her vision still spinning. Then she heard the swarms coming, and she cursed; neither of them were biotic. They were about to pass through a doorway, and as they came to it she stopped at the control panel. It was a lot harder when you couldn't see straight.

Ahead of her, Garrus faltered as he realised she wasn't there. "Shepard!"

"Don't you stop, Garrus Vakarian!" she shouted back.

"Tough!" Garrus could see the swarms now. "Shepard!" They were mere inches from her when the door closed. Garrus blew out his relief. That human was going to be the death of him.

Collectors came from a side passage, and they were running again. An explosion behind them rocked the base. That was from the destruction caused by the Reaper. They still had time. They rounded the corner to see the Normandy waiting ahead.

"Go, Garrus! I'll be right after you!" She turned to shoot back, providing him with cover so he'd be able to jump safely.

He knew she wouldn't get on that ship until he was on it, so Garrus didn't hesitate, leaping across the gap between base and ship. Thane and Jacob were waiting to grab hold of him, and as soon as his feet touched down he spun in time to see a large piece of debris falling in front of them, taking out the external platform. Shepard skidded to a halt.

"Joker, can you get any closer?" he thundered into his comm, as Thane and Jacob stood either side of the airlock, firing at the Collectors behind Shepard.

"Negative. There's too many protrusions."

Shepard was backing up, ignoring her failing shields.

"She's going to jump," Garrus murmured.

"Taylor," Thane spoke, suddenly wishing he'd seen the need to learn how to pull. "Be ready to bring her in."

"I'm on it," responded Jacob, his biotics already flaring.

Shepard ran hard and took the biggest leap she could manage. Mid-way she began to lose her momentum and Jacob threw out a field that caught her and yanked her into his arms. Garrus hit the airlock, and they moved through to the cockpit as Joker pulled away from the base.

"Detonation in ten, nine, eight-" EDI chimed.

"Yeah, got it, Edi! Hold on!" gritted Joker. He pushed the engines to their limits, trying to put as much distance between them and the ship as was possible. Then the base exploded violently behind them, and they were outrunning the shockwave. The relay was just ahead, and as the shockwave reached them, Joker expertly fought to keep them level and in control, pleased to see the debris clearing before them, helpfully pushed aside by that same shockwave.

The Omega 4 relay was now their salvation as it welcomed them in, and took them home.

-x-

Hackett opened up his message, with infinite relief.

Dad,

We made it.

But I lost my Mess Sergeant, Rupert Gardner… What the Collectors did to him was incomprehensibly sickening…. It's all in my report. Considering what they all went through, it's a testament to the crew's skill and fortitude that we succeeded.

I've also attached the data we extracted from the Collector base, and forwarded a copy to Liara. Hopefully there's something there of use regarding the Reapers.

I have a couple of stops to make. Dropping my crew off. I'll let you know when I have an E.T.A for the Citadel. I'm sure you'll have to make arrangements. Though I would appreciate it if I could have some time to say goodbye to any remaining crew before I'm taken into custody. I also have a Cerberus agent detained. You'll see why in my report. She's one of Cerberus' top people and could hold vital information.

I'll see you soon.

Love, Terra.

He hated the thought of what was to come, and with the arrest warrant now officially public, she couldn't have any respite even if she had allowed herself any.

Hackett issued an official notification of Commander Shepard's surrender, and that she was not to be pursued. Then he arranged a trip to the Citadel. He'd be damned if he'd let anything happen without his presence. He followed it up with an update to Anderson, and also to Alenko. Though Terra had denied Alenko's presence previously, Hackett knew why. Just like he knew that despite his daughter's strength, she needed Alenko, whether she was aware of it or not.

x

Kaidan stared at the words from Hackett with elation.

Kaidan,

I thought you should know that Terra made it through. She'll be heading to the Citadel soon. I'll be in contact when I have more details.

He should have known Terra would contact him first. That Hackett had passed it on to him, made him deeply grateful to the Admiral.

Kaidan couldn't describe how he felt. He'd been given another chance. This time he'd grab it with both hands. Kaidan suddenly felt out of breath, like he'd been holding it in all this time. It had been nearly a whole 24 hours since she'd entered the relay. She'd be exhausted. Was she hurt? Had she endured the loss of any of her team? When would she be here? So many questions. So much adrenaline was running through him, he considered going to a gym to work it off.

Another message came through. This one from Liara.

Shepard's back! it said simply. There was an attachment, and he opened it to find Terra's mission report. It was lengthy, but he happily sat back to read it.

-x-

Miranda was confined to her room, all external access denied. She'd gone there voluntarily, wisely choosing not to go up against Samara, Jack and Grunt.

The team had been briefed on Lawson's antics, and the barrier that kept her from leaving her room, also served to protect her from the more volatile crewmembers, including Garrus, who had to be restrained from ripping the woman's throat out.

Jacob now stood at the barrier. "I can't believe what you tried to do to Shepard. What the hell is wrong with you!?"

Miranda just gave him a withering glance. "Oh, Jacob, don't look so shocked. You're Cerberus. We do what's necessary. It's why you joined us. Remember?"

"No. I joined because I thought you were people who took action instead of talking about it. But my eyes have been opened. Cerberus only sees the end result. I get it now... that it's the path that's taken to get there, that's important. It's what separates us from monsters. You disgust me."

Miranda laughed. "You seemed to enjoy me well enough before, Jacob." She gave him a seductive gaze.

Jacob wrinkled his nose, like he'd smelled something bad. "A mistake. And one I won't be repeating."

"You really think you're going to just walk away, Jacob? There'll be repercussions. Shepard won't be able to protect you. She's crossed the Illusive Man. Believe me, her days are numbered too, and she's at the top of the hit-list."

"Shepard's more than a match for anyone Cerberus throws at her. And I can take care of myself. As for walking away? … Watch me." That said, he turned and did exactly that, leaving Miranda seething behind him.

-x-

Her ground team stood around the edges of the room in silence as they watched Shepard's exchange with the Illusive Man.

"Shepard. You're making a habit of costing me more than time and money."

"You get the help you deserve. I didn't do this to make you stronger."

"And what about the rest of humanity? Your ideals have cost us more than you can imagine. The technology from that base could have secured human dominance in the galaxy. Against the Reapers and beyond."

"This is about Cerberus having all the strength."

"Strength for Cerberus is strength for every human. Cerberus is humanity. I should have known you'd choke on the hard decisions. Too idealistic from the start."

"I'm not looking for your approval. The Reapers are coming. Humanity needs a leader who's looking out for them. And the best thing for us right now, is gathering allies. We can't do this alone. Humans don't need to be dominant. We need to be equal. My job with you is done." She turned to walk out of the holo.

"Don't turn your back on me, Shepard! I made you! I brought you back from the dead!"

She turned back to him. "And I'm going to do exactly what you brought me back to do. I'm going to win this war, and I'll do it without sacrificing the soul of our species. Joker, lose this connection."

"Aye, aye, Commander," he said cheerfully.

The Illusive man's scowling face disappeared, and Jack whooped her approval.

"And Edi, not one more piece of information goes back to him."

"Understood, Commander. All connections disabled."

She met the eyes of each of her crew, receiving unspoken support in return. It dismayed her to think of losing them all. "I want to thank you all for helping me. None of this would have been achieved without each and every one of you. And I want you to know that I've enjoyed having you as a part of my family."

"You make it sound like it's over, Shepard," grinned Jack.

Sorrow burrowed in deep. "…It is, Jack."

"What?" the young woman frowned. "What the hell are you talking about, Shepard? The ship's yours. You can do whatever you want!"

Shepard had expected this. "No, I can't. The destruction of the Bahak system has caused outrage. There's now an arrest warrant with my name on it. I'm handing myself over to the Alliance to stand trial."

"That's bullshit! You can't!" Jack protested.

"I have to." Shepard brought her attention to the rest who had listened silently, and had to take a deep breath before she could continue. "We'll be making a quick stop at Omega to re-fuel. Anyone wanting to disembark there, can. Grunt, I imagined you'd want to go back to Tuchanka…" He grunted in response. "After that, our last destination is the Citadel. We'll be at Omega, shortly." She swallowed the lump in her throat. " …Crew dismissed," she said for the last time.

-x-

Garrus looked out the cockpit window as they docked at Omega. "Shepard should just dump that Cerberus bitch here, bound and gagged. Let scum deal with scum."

"Whoa! Easy, Garrus!" exclaimed Joker. "You're sounding dangerously like Jack! Except she'd relish the job of dispatching Lawson herself."

"So would I," he growled.

"Shepard banned you from going near Lawson, huh?"

"She got Edi to notify her if I even take a step towards the door."

"The Commander is of the opinion that Operative Lawson would be more useful in an Alliance interrogation cell, with the hope of obtaining information regarding the location of Cerberus' headquarters, than deceased," explained EDI.

"Makes sense, Garrus."

"Of course it makes sense. It came from Shepard. But that doesn't make it any less difficult to swallow."

"You're doing me proud, Garrus," Shepard's voice came from behind him, and he turned to her. "Just hold off a little longer."

"A little longer? Shepard, unless you're going to let me in that room, I'm going to have to 'hold off' for the rest of my life," he complained. Garrus' eye was drawn to the fresh scar now running a line along her right cheekbone. He'd never forget that feeling of utter despair that he was going to have to watch his closest friend being executed. "Spirits, Shepard… It's far more than she deserves," he muttered.

"It's not about what she deserves, Garrus. She may be the key to bringing down Cerberus."

"You really think she's going to say anything?" he said, doubtfully.

"That's her choice. And her sentence will reflect her cooperation, or lack of."

"Hm, I suppose the image of her locked in a cell until the day she dies, helps somewhat."

"That's the spirit, Garrus!" Joker laughed. "Look for the silver lining. Lawson, all wrinkly and grey."

"That's actually quite disturbing," Garrus backed off.

"I agree," said Shepard, feigning distaste. "Too far, Joker."

"Everyone's a critic," he groused.

Terra grinned back at him, then heard the steps coming their way. She readied herself. The first of her people to leave. "Mordin, heading back to your clinic?"

"Decided to check in. Unlikely to stay. Assistant, Daniel, more than capable of continuing without me. May head back to Sur'Kesh. Always some interesting project to work on. Still have Maelon's research. Enjoyed time aboard Normandy. Challenges. Deadlines. Collectors destroyed. Base in ruins. Extremely impressive. Tremendously rewarding. Illusive Man very displeased. Fortunately, not my problem. Sad to move on, but necessary."

"Yes," Shepard said, in thought. "Would you be able to do something for me, Mordin?"

"Will need clarification before I can commit."

Shepard gave a small laugh. "Right. It's Thane."

"Ah, cure for Kepral's Syndrome. Will be more than happy to devote time to finding cure, Shepard. However, cannot guarantee it will be in time to help Mr Krios. In final stages of disease."

"I understand."

"Will do my best."

"That's all I ask." She forwarded a contact for Thane to Mordin's omnitool. "Take care, Mordin."

"Likewise, Shepard." He bowed respectfully to her, and acknowledged Garrus and Joker, before leaving.

Then came Legion. He couldn't travel into Citadel space, and Liara had arranged for him to be smuggled straight off Omega. Even here, a geth walking about was likely to spark defensive action.

"Shepard-Commander. You chose to make your own future, by refusing to take the technology that was offered you. You are more like us than we thought."

"Um, thank you, Legion."

"Shepard-Commander. We do not understand your people's decision to cage you."

Terra considered how to explain it. "It's to maintain galaxy cohesion, Legion. The batarians are angry beyond reasoning, over the Bahak System, and they don't accept the Reaper explanation. To prevent war with them, those that govern us need to show they are punishing the perpetrator behind the act."

"But your code is superior. You are needed to stop the Reapers. Without Shepard-Commander, we estimate survival odds diminish for all life."

She was stunned by his statement, looking at Garrus, who simply gave an unsurprised nod. "Legion, I'm just one person. Nothing I've achieved has been done alone. Every single one of us is capable of carrying on the fight. Including you."

There was a pause. "We will consider this. Thank you, Shepard-Commander."

She gestured for him to wait and walked to the outer airlock. Outside three men waited. Seeing her, one stepped forward.

"Commander, we've been sent to collect the package. It will need to be covered." He handed her a cloak.

"Where will you take it?"

"We have a small transport vessel ready to go, two bays down. The package will be placed aboard immediately upon receipt."

"Do you require payment for the ship?"

"All purchases have been dealt with, courtesy of the Shadow Broker, Commander. Be assured, the package will be safe."

"Thank you."

He gave only a subtle nod and stepped back to wait for Shepard to return with Legion.

"Here." She helped Legion don the cloak. The huge hood shrouded his 'head', but there was one problem. "Can you dim your optics?"

"Doing so will decrease visual sensors."

"There are people outside who'll get you where you need to go. Trust them. As soon as they have you on that ship you can bring them back on full. It will leave less chance of detection. And don't talk once you're out there."

"We will follow your suggestions." Legion's light dulled, now barely perceptible under the hood.

"Good." She walked him out.

Past the airlock, Legion turned back to her and extended his hand, as she had done in the AI Core. She shook it with a smile, noting he hadn't spoken, as instructed. Then the three men surrounded him and he was led away. Watching him go was harder than she'd expected. She went back inside with a heavy heart. As soon as they were re-fuelled, they'd head to Tuchanka…. And then the Citadel.

-x-

Kaidan was now in the gym. He sat on a bench, his forearms braced against the pads level with his head on either side, and performed butterfly presses, moving his bent arms so that the pads were in front of his face, and lifting the weights as he did so. He'd been here for a half hour and hadn't stopped. Each press released a little bit more of his pent up energy, but did nothing to alleviate the thoughts in his head.

It was astounding that Terra and her people had made it through. The odds of bringing down a whole base of Collectors and swarms with only a small team, had been low. She really had recruited the best.

And then there was Lawson. He should have wanted to thank the woman who had brought Terra back to life, but Lawson's wish to implant her with a control chip had angered him. Learning about just how close Lawson had come to killing Terra, after everything they'd been through in that base… It enraged him. That woman was every inch Cerberus, treating life with contempt.

Everything between his neck and chest was burning now, and he switched to leg presses. Just another half hour and maybe he'd be exhausted enough to sleep.

An hour later he finally gave in following a session of stomach crunches. After a shower, and back in his uniform, he trudged back to his room. As Kaidan rounded the last corner he hesitated. Rahna was waiting outside his door. He knew he'd been avoiding her. Then she saw him, and he resigned himself to the fact that he had to talk to her.

"Kaidan Alenko, you didn't tell me you were back on the Citadel," she said, light-heartedly telling him off.

"I'm sorry, Rahna. There's been a lot going on and I needed some time to myself."

"Anything I can help with?"

"No," he said bluntly.

"Oh… Well, aren't you going to invite me in?" she smiled.

"Oh,uh… sure, here." He unlocked the door, and she walked in first. "How have you been, Rahna?"

"Okay," she shrugged. "Lonely."

Kaidan wasn't going there, but it seemed she was pressing the issue.

"I missed you, Kaidan." She went to step forward but Kaidan held her arms to keep her back.

"Rahna, you need to move on. I've finally got my head on straight. Everything makes sense in here…," he put his fingers to his forehead, "…and in here," he pressed his fingertips to his chest, right over his heart. "I don't want to hurt you, but I have to be honest with you. Before, I thought I was broken. I thought that I should feel something for you, because I once did, back on Jump Zero. Now things are clear, and I know that I don't feel that way about you anymore. Since I met Terra. Since I realised that I became a different person after Vyrnnus. After dealing with that, after the things I've seen as a soldier, the things I value have changed. On Jump Zero, you were a gentle soul in a place that was anything but, and then Vyrnnus died… and I frightened you. You ran away from me, and I was alone. Now, as a soldier, I live in a galaxy where that gentleness is more important than ever, but I discovered that when it went hand in hand with inner strength, determination…loyalty in the face of anything thrown at it…that it produced the most amazing woman I've ever met."

"Commander Shepard," Rahna murmured.

Kaidan nodded. "It's mind-blowing, but she's real, Rahna. I have her back. She's all I want."

"But what about Cerberus? Are you forgetting all that?"

"She's in a bad place, through no fault of her own, just doing the best she can for everyone but herself. And things aren't going to get better for her in the short-term. I want to be around to help her through it this time. The way I should have been from the start."

Rahna's eyes glistened. "Does this mean I've ruined our friendship?"

"No. Not at all. Not if you still want it."

"Of course I do."

When Rahna went to him this time, she was relieved he let her in, though it was brief. For him it was a platonic hug, but for her it was a chance to have his arms around her. She felt so angry, so very disappointed. Commander Shepard had her claws firmly in Kaidan, and she didn't know what to do about it. He was completely convinced she'd been resurrected. It was crazy. But any attempt on her part to try to persuade him of Shepard's treachery would just end up chasing him further away. She needed to talk to Sabine.

"I'm sorry, Rahna, but I should try to get some sleep."

"Yes, it's getting late. Goodnight, Kaidan."

"Night, Rahna."

Once she had left, Kaidan blew out his relief. He'd expected tears, hysterics even, but she seemed to take it well. He felt guilty though. He never should have given her hope of something more between them, not when he was so unsure. Grief had interfered with his common sense. At least he'd cleared the air. Now he could focus on Terra with no unwanted interruptions. Thinking about her impending arrival had his insides twisting with anticipation. Surely she'd be here sometime tomorrow. Now if he could just get to sleep, the time would fly by….

-x-

Shepard sat in the shuttle opposite Grunt, having chosen to escort him down. They were barely into the next day, but Grunt had been impatient. With no upcoming battle on the horizon, he was looking forward to asserting his position in clan Urdnot. Terra had been unable to face her bed, so she had agreed that instead of orbiting until daybreak, she'd take him straight down. Only the skeleton crew were aware of their departure - even Joker had retired for the night.

Their shuttle pilot landed the vessel, and she looked at Grunt. He hadn't said a word, unimpressed with her choice. "You're angry with me."

"You can't fight?"

"No. The Alliance are my clan, Grunt. I have to accept their judgement, deal with this their way."

"Clan." He considered it a little longer, then to her relief, he nodded his acceptance. "We fought a great battle, Shepard. And when you blew up that base instead of handing it to Cerberus…! Hah!" He gave her a huge grin. "If you killed the most dangerous thing in the galaxy… that leaves us."

"Please don't tell me you want to fight me, Grunt."

"We might need you against the other Reapers, Shepard. So if you survive that battle, I'll look you up then."

Shepard laughed. "Something to look forward to, then."

Grunt gave his unique slow, low, laugh. "Wrex seems a worthy lead."

"He is. He's taking your people in the right direction, Grunt. Help him with that."

They exited the shuttle. Terra wasn't going any further. She didn't need to go through another goodbye with Wrex. Grunt stood in front of her then stooped before her. "Battle-master. I would be proud to fight beside you again."

She laid her hand on his head and patted it affectionately. "Get off your knee, you big lump. You know, humans do that when they're proposing marriage."

He grunted as he righted himself. "Sorry to disappoint you, but look closer, Shepard. I'm not human."

She laughed again. "Well damn. Looks like I'll forever be a spinster. Thank you, Grunt. It's been an honour to have you by my side."

He dallied no longer, and she climbed back into the shuttle alone. She signalled her pilot to go, then typed a message to her father.

Heading in now from Tuchanka. E.T.A 0430 hours, Citadel time.

Terra

By the time she was back in the Normandy and had given EDI instruction to head for the Citadel, she had a response.

I'm there, waiting for you. I'll arrange a private dock and forward the bay assignment to you.

It's a good time to roll in. Fewer people about. It will give you some breathing space before news of your arrival hits the streets.

See you soon, sweetheart.

She'd be a wreck by the time she got there if she didn't try to grab some sleep, so she headed up to her cabin, employing the meditation technique Samara taught her as she laid on the bed. Shepard forced all thoughts and fears of the coming hours away and concentrated. The only image that slipped into her mind as she fell into slumber, was of Kaidan.

-x-