Fifty

Thanks for all the great reviews =)

Ahhh, the big 50 (technically 51 but you know what I mean) I'm still wondering when this will be done, I haven't put a clock on it.

Ryan traced his fingers on the cool mahogany table, observing the beautiful carvings in the side of it. He let his fingertips slide over it, taking in its smooth surface. Closing his eyes, he breathed in his nose then out his mouth. He looked back down once more; a single piece of paper lay upon it, his name neatly scribbled on it. Lila's handwriting. Shutting his eyes once more and bringing his hand up to his face to wipe away another stray tear, he remembered her face. The sudden look of alarm as she opened her mouth, the way his heart stopped.

The pain right then and there had nearly killed him alone. He had never felt so much emotional pain in his life; it was unusual, not right, and just not normal. He did not even feel like this when he thought she was dead, he was sure that was unwilling, since it was called a murder, it made him confused and question everything until he partially came to accept the truth.

All that logic melted away when he saw her step off that plane with Horatio, Calleigh, and Eric.

His fingers grasped around the paper as he picked it up and held it to the light. He wasn't reading it; his vision was too blurred from the excess tears. He had fought to not let them go, he could not help it, he tried not to let anyone how vulnerable he was feeling, the reason why he left.

He was now trying to find out why the hell she would do this.

'Ryan,

I'm sorry,' there was a slight tear stain smearing the ink right there, smudging the 'sorry', 'I never meant for it to be like this, but my days are numbered, I'm doing this for your own good.

Be safe,

And I'll always love you'

He shuddered and choked back a sob. Placing his hand back up to his mouth to keep his mouth somewhat closed as he let out a violent shudder once more.

Looking back down at the paper in his shaking hand, he realized there was another tearstain, along with excess ink buildup before she wrote the last line.

She was gone.

Calleigh lay down on her bed, a glass of red wine in her hand. Her back rested on the headboard as she lightly fingered the glass. Eric was still out there, she knew it. She then looked down and swirled the glass around, focusing on it.

She wiggled slightly on the bed, readjusting her black sweater before she reached for the magazine on the end table. She only wanted to occupy every second in high hopes to forget about everything that has happened over the past couple of days. Nothing seemed to be right anymore, everything seemed to be chaotic.

Lila was gone and so was Eric. She and Ryan were both inching closer and closer to rock bottom quite rapidly. For them, things could not get any worse, it seemed.

Calleigh then flung her magazine away from her, setting her wine glass down on the table and bringing her hand to her lips, lightly trailing her fingers over her lower lip. Tears next pricked her eyes, almost like stabbing daggers. She removed her hand and bit her lip, trying harder to fight the crystal miniature spheres that threatened to leave her now dull green eyes.

The back of her head hit the headboard once more, she gazed up at the ceiling. It was what she did when she got home from Russia, the miscarriage still fresh in her mind at that point. She remembered staring at this one specific spot for almost hours of the night, then she would listen to Eric's light snoring, slowly pulling her into a deep sleep like a lullaby, her own personal one.

Dread filled her next, what if she had put more effort in keeping him away from his father? Than what would they be doing now, what would she be doing? She knew one thing for sure; she wouldn't be feeling helpless and powerless as every second passed.

Then the shrill ring of her cell phone interrupted her thoughts. She fixed her posture on her bed, listening for a second and debating internally whether she should answer it. Then it clicked, what if it was Horatio calling her to tell her they found Eric? That he was alive or dead?

She moved off the bed, running towards the kitchen in high hopes of finding that damn phone. She nearly slipped on the tile floor before she reached across for the phone. As soon as she grabbed it, the ringing ceased. She pulled it closer to her and flipped it open.

1 missed call: Horatio C.

She pressed the call button before bringing it up to her ear. Sure enough, Horatio's voice filled her ears. Only one thing stuck in her mind 'We've found him.'

The phone dropped from her hands, the screen cracked at the contact with the floor. She stared at the wall for a few milliseconds before she ran towards the door. They found him alive, the million-dollar question was:

How long was he going to stay like that?

She pushed the doors open to Dade-General's ER, in high hopes to see a familiar face. Wish granted. In front of her was Dr. Alexx Woods, their former M.E. waiting for her arrival to brief her on Eric's condition. Alexx turned to look at Calleigh, worry flashing through her eyes before she moved towards the younger blonde woman.

"Is he going to be okay?" her voice sounded hysterical, erratic, just plain nervous.

Alexx didn't say anything, she looked down, her eyes next searching Calleigh's pained orbs, "Calleigh honey," a lump formed in the blonde's throat, "We don't know if he'll even make it there's a lot of swelling," Calleigh did not want to hear it. She had come to the E.R. expecting the worst and she was now sure she was going to get it.

"Oh god," was the only thing she could muster as she brought her hand up to her face, "Can you do anything? Please tell me if you can," her voice was high pitched, "How bad is it?"

Alexx's expression was still grave and unsure of what to tell the emotionally unstable woman who she knew to be a strong person on a daily basis, "Eric's in a coma," there was a slight beat, "He may not wake up."

Calleigh froze, her eyes unmoving as she stared at nothing, the busy buzz of the E.R. and the machines now unheard by her. Now nothing mattered to her, if the love of her life was going to die, than what would she do? How could she cope?

"No," it was barely a whisper.

Yes, the fairly famous angst driven chapters are back, sorry! I just can't help it sometimes.

Reviews are highly appreciated =) We writers thrive on them, it's usually what keeps a story going ;)