"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been a few months since my last confession," Steve began.
He took a fortifying breath. This was going to be his worst confession, ever. Hopefully.
"Go on," Father Miller encouraged him gently.
"I've really abused what you said I could do. I don't wanna confess it, because I don't think I'll stop 'til I'm married, and she doesn't want to get married yet. So, I have this plastic… silicone. Toy," Steve sputtered.
"I understand. Is there anything else?" the priest asked.
He knew from long experience that people tended to say what they thought of as their worst offenses either first to get them over with, or last out of dread. Steve didn't sound like he was finished yet. It was Steve's habit to be courageous, eager to be absolved and to try harder. He didn't normally need prompting yet he was hesitant today.
"I'm listening," he said kindly when Steve seemed to want to sit there silently.
"I paid a stripper and had a lap dance. It was like sex, except my shorts were on. After that, on a different day, I paid for three prostitutes and stayed with them all night in a hotel room. We had sex. A lot. This was when I was still only friends with my girl. She knows about it," Steve confessed.
Father Miller carefully hid his surprise and dismay. It wasn't Steve's fault that he had a touch of hero admiration. It seemed that Captain America was no more than a man. The Lord loved humble sinners and lost, bleating sheep best of all.
There was again a disturbing quietude on the other side of the screen. Father Miller was reluctant to prompt him to complete his confession. His hero admiration was falling, but his love and understanding for the person held steady. He tried merely clearing his throat to get Steve moving on this last, hardest bit.
"I killed two hundred and forty-seven men with my bare hands. I wasn't on the job," Steve said miserably.
Father Miller was momentarily stunned to silence. His hero admiration faltered entirely, then he set it aside completely to serve the man in front of him. There was probably something that Steve had left out of his bald statement. There had to be. He was certain that Steve was blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault, once again.
"What was the worser evil?" Father asked.
"They'd come to take my woman. To rape her. To kill her. I couldn't let that happen. I just couldn't," Steve said.
"That sounds farfetched, but I will trust that knowing you and the people you work with, it's possible," the priest said.
"Thank you, Father," Steve said with humble sincerity.
"Couldn't you have incarcerated these men? Stopped them in some other way, or found other crimes to have them removed for?" he asked.
"I couldn't let it happen like that. I killed many to save one, and it was my choice to do it like I did. I could have knocked them unconscious for law enforcement to pick up, but I was angry and afraid for my woman, so I chose to kill them to end the threat permanently," Steve admitted.
Father Miller cast around in his mind for precedent. There was none, really. There were home invasions and there was war, but this was nowhere in between. Two hundred forty-seven? It was excessive. Granted, the circumstances Steve managed to find himself in were rarely ordinary. He wanted to absolve Steve, but this was wading into deep waters. The poor man had already abused the partial dispensation he had been given for masturbation and moved on to greater sexual sins. It was possible that absolving his previous killings, while valid because they were in the line of duty, had caused him to think that killing was more acceptable. Father Miller held himself responsible for the state of his parishioner's souls if he had done anything to guide them wrongly, and he may have done so in this case.
"Father?" Steve asked.
Doubt plagued the priest. He knew that Steve was a good man. Or, he had been. Many good people went bad. Was that what this was? Had Steven gone beyond a lost sheep and become a wolf?
Father Miller pushed aside the screen that separated them. He had to know more than just the tone of Steve's voice. Steve knelt on the hard floor instead of on the cushioned kneeler. There was sorrow and regret in the man's eyes. That wasn't unusual. Many a criminal felt such things after they were caught and being held responsible for their acts.
What falsely repentant sinners didn't have was the stubbornness and conviction of character that Steve Rogers had.
"Steve, these are hard things. You try my ability to discern whether I should absolve you or to get protected advice from my superior. Let us proceed in this way…Given the same situation with the men you killed, would you act in exactly the same way again?" Father Miller asked.
"Yes," Steve said.
The look on his face was not one of indecision or moral ambiguity. It was one of righteous anger. Certainty.
"You call her 'your woman.' What does that mean?"
"I love her. I'm going to marry her or die trying," Steve said, once again absolutely certain.
"In your heart, in your mind, she isn't just any person, that you would weigh her life against that of others with simple mathematics," Father Miller asked for clarity.
Steve shook his head emphatically.
The old priest sighed. Things were clearer now.
"We are allowed to defend our loved ones, our family. Do you have any other sins to confess?" he asked.
"I'm guilty of lust and of fornication. No debate about that," Steve said.
"Do you intend stop this fornication, or are you merely confessing it?" Father Miller felt compelled to ask.
"I want to want to stop it. That's where I am with it," Steve said.
"You don't want to stop fornicating, but you know that you should," the priest began.
"I'm sorry for offending the Lord and I want to have the will to stop it," Steve finished.
"That's a start. Try your hardest to do what you know is right and ask for strength from the Holy Spirit. Now make an act of contrition," his confessor told him.
Steve was humbled and joyful to have been absolved of his sins. He had to try harder and do better from now on. More than his strength alone was required. He had to be a better person in honor of the Lord's mercy and for Estrella.
He slipped into the pew beside Sam and Estrella. He had only enough time to do part of his assigned penance before the bell rang to signal the beginning of the mass. He stood beside his friend and his girl and sang from the book that Estrella held for him. He'd never heard the song but she seemed to know it even though it was an old one in Latin. He did the best he could.
Estrella was happy to see Steve hurry from the confessional with a happier set to his face. She knew he'd been feeling down since yesterday. He'd been polite and quiet with her on their way to church. He also stayed carefully away from her. He held her hand, but he wouldn't kiss her or go near her neck. She knew what he was doing and it might work.
She felt thrilled to open the hymnal and be able to follow along. The music was like reading a book and seeing the story happen. She didn't only see the symbols on the scale when she glanced briefly, she heard the sounds in her head. When she patted nervously at her copper butterfly choker, Steve smiled at her and nodded slightly. He reassured her that her voice was safe to sing as she wanted to in a church full of people.
The mass was lovely and communion filled her with reverence, but she was ashamed that the music was what set her alight. Though Steve and Sam both had good singing voices it was the lady's choir that she looked to with envy. She wanted to be them. They smiled while they sang. They made beautiful music together. One of the older ladies saw her looking and she smiled bigger until her already wrinkled face crinkled more. Estrella turned away and did her best to pay attention to the rest of mass instead of only the music.
She and Sam waited quietly when mass was over while Steve knelt to finish his penance. Steve shook the priest's hand when they met him outside the front of the church. The other parishioners had finished visiting with Father Miller and he turned his attention to Steve.
"You can call me if you need me," he told Steve.
"Thank you, Father."
The man patted Steve on the shoulder kindly as they turned to go to Sam's car.
Steve's mood was much improved on the way back to the tower. He sat in the back seat with her but he was quiet. He looked out his window as they made their way through traffic. His only connection to her seemed to be where their fingers twined together on his knee. She knew that he was probably more aware of her than he appeared to be.
Estrella thought he looked so handsome in his tailored church clothes. He looked young, strong, and robustly healthy. She idly wondered, not for the first time, what their babies would look like. It was still hard to believe that a man like him was hers to love. She wanted to unbuckle and slide over closer to him, but that would be bad. He was doing so well today staying away from the influence of her pheromones. Somehow his quiet dignity and his lack of direct attention made her want to provoke him, to get his attention. So very handsome! She resisted the urge to wiggle or sigh in order to not disturb him. She longed for his touch. His fingers through hers seemed not enough.
She couldn't stop the rumble of her belly. It was lunchtime. Lately she was hungry all the time whether it was mealtime or not. Steve turned his head to glance down at her middle as if he could see her complaining belly through her skirt and her long sweater. He smiled a little.
"Come up to the common room for lunch with us?" Steve invited her.
Estrella nodded. She shouldn't. She had to pack her things for going to Wanda's place. She planned to tell him that she was leaving tonight and then go in the morning. Her anxiety was so strong about telling him and how he would react that she couldn't stand it. She couldn't upset him now when he was finally serene and at peace. She could pack later. It's not like she would be able to sleep tonight, anyway. She knew they both would be too upset after she told him for her to get much sleep.
Sam parked them in the garage under the tower.
"Y'all are acting weird. You're too quiet," he commented as they walked inside to the elevator.
"We're alright," Steve told him.
Estrella kept her face turned down to let her hair cover her neck. Steve stood tall, his face as far away from her as he could get with their hands clasped. Sam made a skeptical sound, but that was all.
Everyone was in the common room near the top of the tower except for Darcy and Bruce, Buck and Lucy. Lucy was leaving for home soon, so Bucky was at Steve's place spending what time he could with her. There was a large spread of food and Estrella headed straight for it.
"Is there any liver?" she asked on a whim.
Natasha looked at her with a hint of a smile at the corners of her eyes. Tony looked horrified. Clint studied her with his head cocked a little to the side.
"I could order some for you. I think there's a place on-" Pepper offered and started thumbing at her phone.
"No, it's alright. There's roast beef. Thank you, Pepper," Estrella said.
She filled a plate until even Thor looked at her askance.
"Your lady is of hearty appetite," he commented to Steve.
Steve could tell by his friend's expression that he insinuated something by the comment. He smiled and filled his plate. He knew that Estrella's body was clamoring to heal itself, but it was alright to let the guys speculate.
He wanted to stand closer to her or carry her plate for her, but he restrained himself. He'd learned his lesson. Her pheromones were powerful and not to be toyed with in a public social setting. That's likely why Bruce wasn't here today.
He almost broke his resolve when it was time to find a place to sit. Estrella sat at the big table between Pepper and Natasha. His urge was to have her close, maybe sitting in his lap. His free hand fisted against the desire to be near her, to touch her some more. Instead, he settled across the table from her in the seat that Sam had saved for him.
"Thanks," he murmured to his friend.
Sam looked between him and Estrella with a brow slightly raised, but he nodded. Steve, Sam, and Estrella bowed their heads briefly, then they ate.
"Was that a glitch? Did cyborgs take your place while you were out, and you had to shift to 'pretend to eat like a human' mode?" Tony asked from the head of the table, mostly joking.
"It's prayer, Tony. Grace before meals, you know? Pass me the baked beans. I'll sit next to you all afternoon and prove I'm not a cyborg," Sam said smoothly.
Clint chuckled and Natasha almost smiled.
Estrella nodded gratefully to Sam but her mouth was too full to thank him. She noticed the way Steve's attention shifted to Tony. Tony noticed it too. Stark let the issue go instead of making the expected remarks about faith versus science. He turned to talk to Jane about something.
Estrella was very hungry. The food was good and plentiful. Not much distracted her from it until Steve went still over his plate halfway through the meal. She glanced at him with her fork almost to her mouth.
Steve's pupils were wider than usual. He watched her with his lips slightly parted. This time it was her who got caught in his eyes. He wanted her. No words were needed. Steve managed the willpower to blink his eyes a few times, then he turned his attention back to his food. He'd maintained decorum among their friends, but she knew.
She had to go. Soon. His sensitive nose had scented her over all the smells of the hot food between them. The Avengers crew talked and carried on around them but the mood of the afternoon became a haze of false, polite friendliness for Steve and Estrella. When everyone was done with lunch they moved apart, he to one side of the room and she to the other.
Steve played darts with Clint and Thor but his eyes didn't stay off of his girl for long. As a result, his score was far below that of his teammates. Estrella enjoyed listening to Jane and Pepper as much as she could about which places had the best holiday-themed mixed drinks on offer in the city, but she couldn't have repeated the conclusion the ladies came to about where they decided to go for drinks. Her eyes kept straying to Steve's shape as he moved among his friends and threw the darts. Her ears kept listening for his voice among the teasing he was getting from Clint and Thor. Unnoticed by either of them, Tony and Natasha observed.
Steve grunted in frustration as yet another dart went where he didn't want it to. Estrella sucked in a breath and closed her eyes. His sound was the tiniest bit like the one he made when he was working at Rosie, almost where he wanted to be, eager to finish. Her eyes opened slowly.
He stared at her from across the room. Thor jostled him and tried to hand him another dart, but Steve ignored him. Clint turned to look for what Steve was staring at and Estrella lowered her face quickly.
Natasha startled her by squeezing in next to her on the couch, semi-politely displacing Jane. Nat tipped her head so that her shining red hair slid forward to obscure Steve's view of her mouth. She spoke quietly, barely a whisper. Estrella had to read her lips more than she could hear her.
"You should tell him. It's time to go," she said.
Estrella squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath, then she let it out. Steve was happy right now, enjoying his friends. She didn't want to make a scene in front of everyone.
"Tonight, after this," she agreed.
Natasha was going to say more, but then Steve was there. He sat on the other side of the arrangement of couches, between Pepper and Sam. Nat and Estrella watched him cautiously for a moment, and then Estrella turned to grumble at her friend.
"Look at him! Yes, I know you can hear me, papi. I could pinch you! He's still trying to prove something, Natasha. It was good between us this morning. I was good, he was good. Now this! Why, all of a sudden?" she asked, then she turned to challenge Steve with the question.
He folded his arms over his chest and smiled at her. He'd untucked his shirt tails and taken his church jacket off. The shirt tails were inadequate to conceal his condition, and if there was any doubt, the heated smirk on his face smashed it.
Estrella narrowed her eyes at his challenge. He was daring her to go sit with him in the empty space between him and Pepper. Pepper was distracted from her conversation with Jane. Sam shook his head with long-suffering tolerance. He gave Steve a flat look that Steve failed to notice.
"You're losing," Natasha taunted Steve quietly.
"Am I?" Steve's mouth moved.
Estrella shivered with want. She couldn't suppress the way her hips moved a little, but she did bite her lip against the whimper that tried to get out. Oh, God, he was so hot! She tried hard to remind herself why it wasn't a good idea to go ahead and be with Steve right now, but she couldn't remember any reasons.
Natasha poked at her until she was annoyed enough to stop staring at Steve. The woman texted furiously with her other hand.
"What?" Estrella asked her.
"There are easier ways to do this. You're being just as stubborn as he is," Nat said.
"I can't talk to him when he's like that!" Estrella fussed.
"He's not the only one who's 'like that'," Natasha made idle conversation while she texted.
Estrella dared to look at her boyfriend again. He was frowning at Natasha, his smile gone. She didn't like his knowing, displeased scowl. What? What did he know?
Bucky walked into the room. He made brief eye contact with Tony then headed past him and over to the couches.
"Heya, toots. Wanna come see the new table? They just delivered it," Buck offered.
Steve stood up abruptly.
"I didn't invite you, pal," Buck told him.
"Ya don't need to. It's my place," Steve said with a tilt of attitude to his head.
Everyone made an effort to carry on and ignore the tension between Steve and Bucky but it made the atmosphere in the room feel strained. Jane's laugh was nervous. Thor went to stand behind her to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. He frowned at Steve.
Estrella got up and went with Bucky. Nat touched her fingers before she was away but it was more of a push for strength than anything. Estrella trembled as Steve fell in beside her and they followed Bucky to the elevator in the hallway.
Buck turned and stopped to confront him. The elevator doors stayed shut when they would have opened. Steve glanced to the ceiling briefly and a crimp of grumpiness lined his brow.
"You're not going with," Buck denied him.
His tone was halfway between challenge and empathy. It was easy to see that Steve was going to fight this. He didn't want to be parted from his girl. Estrella couldn't stand to see panic in his eyes behind his stubbornness. He thought she was leaving right now. His words proved it.
"If you have to go now, then don't pretend. Don't lock yourself away without telling me goodbye, sweetheart. I can behave for a little longer, I promise. Please," Steve pleaded quietly.
Estrella pushed against Bucky's restraining hand to reach and take Steve's. His eager grip was almost too painful.
"I'm not going to isolation now. I want to talk to you first. I'll say goodbye to you before I go, Steve. I want to see the new table before you eat on it for days without me," she told him.
She hated the way he looked for truth in her eyes, as if she could lie. As if she would. There was no way she could leave him right now. Steve looked to Bucky next.
"Don't play me, Buck," Steve warned.
"Alright. I was gonna, but look at her. She doesn't want to go now. You probably waited too long. We're a bunch of idiots. You're gonna make me carry her away kickin and screamin, aren't ya? Or am I supposed to let you stay together? Is that what should happen here, pal? You told me just last night that I was supposed to help you, remember?" Buck said.
Steve clenched his jaw, then he stood taller. He let go of Estrella's hand. Next, he shoved Bucky a half-step toward Estrella. Buck was surprised so it off-balanced him for a half-second.
"Put your face at her neck, Buck. Get a good smell of her. Go on. Do it," Steve ordered.
Bucky looked at Steve like he was crazy, but he bent to do it. Estrella tolerated him close to her for the instant it took for Buck to do as he was told.
"You smell like buttered rolls, girlie. Is that supposed to mean somethin?" Buck asked.
He looked to Steve for an explanation.
Steve studied Buck with a critical eye. Pulse normal. Pupils sharp and constricted. Buck was pale under his tan, not rosy with any kind of flush like Steve felt in his skin. He didn't lick his lips or try to get close to Estrella again for more of her scent. Steve checked his pants. Unaffected, as usual.
"I'm alright. I'll bring her around to show her the new furniture, then I'll send her to Nat's place where she's safe from you, ya dumb muck. She wants to talk to you, but you gotta knock it off with the heavy. Hell, you're makin Natalia nervous," Buck told him.
"I'm going to talk to you later tonight. I will," Estrella assured him.
She let him look into her eyes for a moment to see that she meant it.
Steve nodded and he stepped away from them and the elevator.
"Captain, please. I beg you," Jarvis implored for a little more distance.
J could read his tension, Steve remembered. The AI knew that he was at least considering making a rush for Estrella. It was in the tension of his thighs and the ever so slight twitch of his fingers that no one but maybe Buck could see. Buck trusted him more than Jarvis did.
"I'll need to get home soon. Please let me know when you're back at Nat's," Steve said.
Estrella nodded.
Steve turned and walked away, back toward his other friends in the common room. Bucky pushed Estrella into the elevator as soon as the door was open wide enough. When they were alone Bucky was a lot less casual than he'd been with Steve.
"You should go now," he said.
"I told him I wouldn't. You told him I wouldn't," she pointed out.
"He'd thank us for it later. This is past due. You're gonna make a mess of him, and he doesn't deserve it," Buck told her, low and cold.
"I can't leave him! Not now," Estrella cried.
Nerves and sadness finally got the best of her and she hugged herself while she sobbed. Buck glanced at her, then walked out of the elevator toward Steve's suite.
"You will. If it takes me and Thor, you will," Buck promised her.
They went inside. Estrella wiped at her tears while she walked to the new table and stools by the window. They looked great there just as she'd imagined them. She could hardly care at the moment. She hitched her hip up and slid onto a stool, the one she imagined Steve would use, closest to the window and facing the door. She drew a shuddering breath and smoothed her hand over the brand new table.
"Here. Write him something for later," Buck said.
He'd come out of Steve's room with a few sheets of paper and a pen. He tossed them down in front of her.
"Hurry it up. He needs to get home so he can let go before he pops," Buck said.
Estrella glared at him when Buck sat on the stool across from her. She didn't want to think about exactly what Bucky's words meant. She picked up the pen and stared at the blank paper.
"Go away. I can't write anything with you staring at me," she told him.
Bucky went. It took her several moments to think. She wanted to say so much, but most of it wouldn't be good for Steve to read until after she was gone. She limited herself to how she felt and a few words of love. She kissed the edge of the paper and wished she was wearing lipstick or at least some gloss. Impulse had her raise the paper toward her neck, but Buck's metal hand snapped out to grip her wrist.
"Don't you fuckin do that to him. It's gonna be bad enough with your scent lingering in here. Leave it," he growled.
"I'm sorry," Estrella whispered.
Buck wanted to have mercy on the girl, but he couldn't. She hadn't seen the way Steve was when he came back from the pool yesterday. Both of them needed harsh handling, at least until they were in different parts of the city. Steve was too smart, strong, and fast to take any chances with her safety or his sanity.
Estrella got up and Bucky took her across to Nat's place. He put her inside and hardened his heart against her tears.
"Get packed," he told her.
He pulled the door to the women's suite closed with a solid thump, then texted Natalia.
"Jarvis, don't let her out of there tonight unless the building's on fire. If Steve's the one who sets the fire, then wait for Thor to get her," he told the AI as he crossed back to Steve's place.
"Surely you jest," Jarvis replied.
"Do I look like I'm joking?" Buck asked.
"Unfortunately, no," Jarvis said.
Estrella was packed and ready to go, except for a change of clothes for the morning. She cried quietly on her bed. She was going to tell him at ten o'clock. Twelve minutes. For twelve more minutes, she could imagine that he was just across the hall and that they were fine. Natasha had come home and made scary, glaring disappointed faces at her until she shut herself in her room. That was three hours ago.
Her phone rang. It was his tone. She sat up and took several quick breaths to hopefully keep the hiccups away, then she answered his call.
"I know you have to go to isolation, but I have an idea," Steve said immediately.
"Okay?" she asked.
"I don't wanna go visit Mrs. Stiles tomorrow morning by myself. It's the church ladies, and it'll feel awkward if it's just me. You can take a shower and give your neck a good scrub right before you meet me. Wear some of Nat's perfume. She has a French one that I hate. She knows which one. We won't travel together. Go with Buck to Mrs. Stiles' place and I'll meet you there. We stay apart, across the room, across the house, whatever. It's little old ladies. I'll behave. We get through that, and then you go," Steve explained.
"I don't know, Steve. Today started out good, but then we couldn't…anymore. Tomorrow will be worse," she said.
"That's what the stinky fragrance and the distance is for. I won't even look at you. I just want to be there with you, to hear your voice one more time before you have to go," Steve said in a calm, reasonable tone.
"You talk like I'm going away forever," she said.
"I've gotten used to having you around, Eya. You're a part of me. I know I'm not gonna feel right while we have to be apart," he said.
"You know this isn't a good idea. Something is going to happen and we might end up on the news. It could be bad. I'll go through anything with you, but you don't need that kind of publicity," she told him.
"Eya, there's more to the plan than that. I'm taking care of things on my end. I'll be good," Steve assured her.
She smiled.
"You've got a hot date with Rosie right before you go see the church ladies?" she teased.
"Whatever it takes, doll. I told Mrs. Stiles that I'd be there and I don't want to let her down. It's too late tonight, but I'm going to see you again before you take a break from me. If you want to see me, that is," he said.
"You know I want you. Too much. Did you read the letter I left for you?" she asked.
"I didn't know you wrote one. Buck must have it," Steve said.
"Save it for later," she told him.
They were quiet on the phone for a moment. She cherished the connection between them even though it was only electronic.
"Bucky was going to take me to isolation in the morning," she said.
"So we'll have him take you across town for the visit first, and then you can come back for isolation," Steve said.
"Okay," she agreed.
"Goodnight, sweetheart. Have a little faith. We'll get through this," Steve said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.
"Okay," she agreed again, "I'll see you in the morning. Then I go."
"Right," Steve said.
The silence on the line stretched out.
Estrella hicced a tortured breath and closed her throat against a sob.
"Don't cry. I can't stand it if you do," Steve croaked, low and just as tortured as she felt.
"Okay," she repeated tightly, desperately.
"I love you. Get some sleep," Steve said, then he ended the call.
She hated the perfume too. Bucky's face was scrunched up because of the stuff, and because they weren't where they were supposed to be. The two of them stood on the sidewalk in front of the steps up to Mrs. Stile's place. It was a nice neighborhood and the apartments were old brown brick.
Bucky kept giving her evil looks. She held her chin high and tried to ignore him. He'd tried to wrestle her back on course to Wanda's place when she went astray, but people took notice. A guy in a city utility uniform started to make a fuss at Buck's handling of her and Estrella was thankful for that one, brave soul. Bucky kicked at her heels from behind her like a petulant child while he followed her to where she was supposed to meet Steve.
The lace curtains moved aside in the window above them. Estrella smiled and waved at whoever was peeking at them. A moment later she could see Steve walking toward them on the sidewalk. It was a gray, foggy day so he wore a coat, but his head was high and his step was brisk. He smiled at her, wide and cheerful through the remaining distance of foot traffic between them. When he got close to where she and Buck waited he turned and went up the steps as if they weren't there waiting for him. No closeness, no greeting, no touching, as agreed.
"You're stupid as fuck, the both of you," Bucky grumbled behind her, but he shoved her shoulder to get her moving toward the steps.
"Be nice, Buck," Steve warned over his shoulder just as the door opened.
"Steve! So nice to see you! Come in! Oh, you've brought your young lady. We're so glad. Hello," the frail old lady said.
Bucky entered and shut the door behind them.
"This is James. He goes with me places," Steve explained.
Steve kept his word and didn't look at Estrella. He could feel her near him like water, and he was parched. Mrs. Stiles showed them to the front parlor, just steps away from the door. Inside were six other ladies, all with bright smiles for the guests.
He'd thought it was going to be horrible but it wasn't. They all greeted him as people tended to do, with pats and too-wide smiles, but then they cooed and exclaimed over Estrella. Steve breathed deep of the bad perfume she wore. The pheromones were there but they were like Valeria's voice with a bad modulator. All messed up, harsh enough to resist.
Mrs. Stiles invited Buck in to sit with them.
"Thank you, Ma'am. I'll be fine here," Buck said.
He took a place on a little chair he moved to the arch of the parlor door, where he could sit and watch Steve and the rest of the house.
"Oh, poor dear. You must be security. That's no reason you can't have coffee and cake. Marge!" Mrs. Stiles called into the kitchen.
Bucky accepted a little plate of fancy cake and a cup of coffee. Estrella looked at him and giggled. He looked like security. He was in a dark suit but without a tie. It was supposed to look business-casual. Bucky made it look menacing despite the cake and coffee.
Introductions were made all around. Estrella sat as far across the room as she could get from the big overstuffed chair they'd offered to Steve.
"Wouldn't you two rather sit on the loveseat?" Gladys offered to him.
She looked between Steve and Estrella.
"Thank you, but no. I'm really sweet on her and I tend to get lost in her company. I should stay where I am if I'm to get any visiting done," Steve said with a charming smile.
Estrella grinned at his honesty. The smile might be charming but it was real and the ladies could see that. A round of coos and chuckles went around and everyone settled as coffee was served. They were offered three kinds of cake. Estrella and Steve wanted some of each. It was very good cake, home-made and warm from the oven. The coffee was rich and simple.
She'd never been in a place like this. It wasn't like Tony's tower. This was old. The feel of wealth was understated and burnished with time. Trinkets were small and tastefully displayed, not too many around the room. There was a glossy, mahogany-red piano nearby. Estrella's fingers itched to reach out and touch it. The ladies were classically coifed and dressed, no gaudy colors or costume jewelry among them, even if their outfits were a little past the current fashion. Only one of them had faintly blue hair but she carried it so well that Estrella was certain the color was intentional.
"Steve, we know a secret about you," Marge said archly.
"It can't be a secret, Marge, it was on the world wide web!" Gladys said.
Estrella inwardly cringed, but she kept her smile on.
"Well, maybe so, but my grand-daughter showed me, and then I saw it for myself yesterday in church," Marge insisted.
"Ladies, you're killin me. What's the big secret?" Steve asked.
At that moment, something eased Estrella's nerves. She glanced to Bucky. He wasn't so sure, but it looked like maybe he agreed with her. Steve was going to be alright. He was too easy and glib to be faking it. He wasn't that good at deception.
"You were in a barbershop and Miss Estrella here recorded you singing in a quartet. You sing very well," Mrs. Stiles said.
"How do you know it was me? It was edited so that nobody would know," Estrella wondered.
"I know because he looked at you this morning the same way he looked in that little movie. My grand-daughter and all her friends were daydreaming if the Captain was in love with somebody from that song, but now we know," Marge said.
"You gotta do me a favor and keep it a secret. I fight dangerous people. If they knew about Estrella she would be in danger. Don't tell your grand-daughter," Steve said with quite a bit more seriousness.
The ladies went quiet and wide-eyed, but then they smiled again.
"Hurry with your cake then. We'll keep your secret, but we want to hear you sing! Do you sing too, Miss?" Theresa turned to ask her.
Estrella nodded.
"Are you sure? You're so shy!" they teased her gently.
Coffee and cake was set aside. Mrs. Stiles went to the book case by the piano to get down a sheaf of pages. Steve stood quickly to help her. Estrella sat back abruptly when he drew near. She clenched her hands in her skirt to keep from reaching out to touch him. His thighs looked wonderful in those pants. The firm curve of his rump was right there! Estrella bit down on a moan. Steve looked sharply to her for only an instant and she looked away. He went back to his chair after handing the music pages off to Gladys.
Estrella slowly let out her breath then smoothed the creases her damp palms had put in her crisp A-line skirt. She crossed her ankles one way, then the other. Steve was stronger than her this morning. Her fertility was coming on fast. She suspected that it was his fault. She'd never had a specific man to want, before.
They could sing, and she could even sing along with Steve. Then they would go. And she would go. Away.
Gladys moved to sit on the piano bench and she gently folded the cover back.
"Do you play, dear? You seemed to quite enjoy the music during mass yesterday," she said.
"I don't play, but I would like to," Estrella said.
"Then come and sit. Anyone who enjoys music so much should learn," Gladys said.
It was irresistible. She looked to Steve. He nodded at her with a softness in his eyes that had nothing to do with sex. He knew she wanted this. Estrella hurried to where Gladys patted the bench beside her.
The woman shuffled music around and settled on a page to put on the stand.
"I need it more for the words," she murmured.
She set her fingers to the keys and played a few notes.
"I bet you know this one, Steve," Theresa said.
Gladys played the opening, and Steve nodded. Estrella was mesmerized by the music. Everyone except Bucky and Mrs. Stiles sang. She'd never heard the old song, but the sheet music was right there in front of her. The rich sounds of the piano were so close that she could feel the vibrations against her skin.
Steve's voice was a constant base in the background under the lady's voices. She drifted into the music and didn't come out until several songs were done. Gladys looked aside to her and smiled at the dampness in her eyes.
"You know these old tunes, dear?" she asked.
Estrella shook her head and nodded toward the sheet music. She twiddled her hands, eager for more.
"If you don't play, then how do you know them? I wouldn't think any young people without a theater background would know these," Gladys said.
"I can read them. Please," Estrella encouraged as politely as she could.
She wanted more! If only her fingers could know the keys like Gladys did, so she could play it for herself!
Gladys hurried them along to the next tune and Estrella joyfully sang, testing her range against the high, angelic notes. This one was an old church hymn, in English. The depth of Steve's clear voice countered her, with the ladies almost unnoticed in the middle. Estrella was seduced by the effect. It was like they were dancing together, she and him. Their tones met in the middle across octaves. She could imagine them touching, swaying, but she couldn't close her eyes or she wouldn't see the music. The song closed sweet and soft.
"Please do tell me you'll join the church choir, Missy. We need a voice like yours. Practice is Wednesday afternoons at three, then we meet at ten on Sunday for the mass. Will you?" Theresa implored.
Estrella tipped her face down and held her hands in her lap. It was rude to stay lost in the sounds, but she wanted to hold onto them for a little longer.
"She's committed to something for the next week and a half, but I think that's a great idea, for after. What do ya think, doll?" Steve encouraged her.
She couldn't say no. There was no money for this. No price. The ladies wanted her, and she wanted desperately to learn. Estrella nodded.
"Wait til we tell Father! He'll be so pleased," Gladys said, and she patted Estrella's knee, then took her hand briefly.
It was a blur after that. Estrella tried very hard to be attentive and polite. Steve brought their visit to a gracious close like a man long accustomed to making his escape from charity events. Bucky escorted her out onto the sidewalk behind Steve.
He kicked at her heels again, then tugged her hair once, hard.
She looked back at him and shook her head. She was going to talk to Steve. To tell him what was happening. He deserved to know the truth, difficult as it was.
Buck stalked along behind them all the way back to the tower. Estrella stopped into a fast food place to use the restroom. Steve noticed and waited for them outside. She scrubbed soapy wet napkins at her neck until her skin was red. She couldn't stand the powerful perfume for one more minute. When she thought it must surely be gone into the restroom trash bin, she scrubbed one more time, then washed her hands vigorously. Bucky glared at her some more when she came out, then they carried on as before to the tower. If men stared at her, she didn't pay attention. There was too much on her mind. On her heart.
Natasha joined them in the middle lobby. She and Bucky made a resolute barrier between Estrella and Steve in the elevator.
"I'll sting you, Steve. Don't think I won't," Nat warned.
"I'm counting on it," Steve replied.
Steve kept his face to the doors, his back to everyone until they got to his floor. They followed him to his suite. Bucky shoved the door wide open so that the handle punched into the wall and stayed there. Steve noticed but he didn't say anything about it. He sat on the stool she thought he'd take. He gestured her to take the one across.
Estrella was going to, despite the dire looks Natasha sent her. Then she smelled him on the current of air coming from his bedroom. She could smell what he'd done with Rosie this morning. The lingering scent of him, tart and potent in the air stopped her. When she opened her eyes, Steve knew. He already had that look about him. The wanting. It answered in her with an emphatic yes.
Natasha moved toward her. Bucky toward Steve. They didn't try to be subtle about it.
"I've sent your things ahead," Nat murmured to her, "just go. You can text him later."
Estrella shook her head. She belatedly noted that Natasha was wearing her snug black combat uniform, bracelets and all. The sight of her lush curves on display in front of Steve made Estrella want to scratch her face.
"We can do this, Eya. Talk to me like you wanted to," Steve said.
His voice was low, nearly purring desire to her.
She shook her head again. This was too hard. She should go, like Natasha said. No. She was going to do it, and she was going to do it fast.
"I have to leave," she began.
"I know,"
"Please, please be quiet," she held up her hand and clenched her eyes closed.
"I'm going away. Not here. To Wanda's. And I'm going to stay there," Estrella rushed her words out.
There was the sound of thumping flesh. She looked to see Bucky across Steve's path, chest to chest. Steve struggled and shoved at Buck. His face was a grimace of effort and anguish.
"You mean you're moving. Out. You're leaving me, like you always said you would. Don't do that, Estrella. It's only ten days," he half pleaded, half growled.
Bucky shoved again, growled back in a different language, maybe German. Whatever he said got Steve's attention and he quit fighting so much. Bucky kept his feet braced, kept pressure on Steve, gripped his shoulders and leaned into him. Steve tried to shake him off, but Buck persisted.
"I'm not leaving you, papi. I'm going to live somewhere else, but we're still together," Estrella assured.
"This is because I bothered you too much. I- I take too much of your time. I can fix that. Don't go. I can't protect you out there," Steve said.
"You don't need to. Wanda's place is reinforced now and it has the negative air pressure thing for my room like you talked about. I'll go and do my work. Wanda will do the shopping for us. I'll stay home and work and cook. I don't need to go outside much," she told him.
The smell of him was getting to her where she stood by the kitchen bar behind his big chair. She took a step closer to where he struggled with Bucky so she could get out of the air current. Natasha pushed at her to keep her back. Steve fought and grappled with Buck more strenuously.
"You don't touch her! Get away from her," he said through his teeth.
"Steve! Stop it! Listen to me," Estrella pleaded.
She raised her hand to him, as if she could touch his face. Steve stilled. He stared at her over Bucky's shoulder and whined softly. His eyes were dark, his lips parted. He tipped his head aside and butted gently at Buck's. The contact was affectionate, a sly appeal to their friendship, an unfair plea against Bucky's loyalty.
"Lemme go, Buck. I can get loose, but I don't wanna hurt ya," he murmured.
Estrella lost what she was going to say with the scent of him in the air and the terrible intimacy between Steve and his friend. He spoke to her that way, with that tender tone. Why was he using it with Bucky?!
Bucky almost gave in. He set his forehead to Steve's shoulder in defeat. His hands eased from a fighting grip to a clasp on his shoulders. Natasha and Estrella saw it just before Buck felt it.
Steve threw a powerful shove and Bucky launched away. Natasha was there in a flicker to fill the gap. Estrella was stuck staring at Steve's grim, determined face as Natasha attacked him and Bucky somehow got behind him. Nat's bracelets pressed up under Steve's jaw, poised to do whatever it was that they did. Buck climbed him and got both of Steve's straining arms locked behind his back. Estrella heard an odd mechanical whirring sound, then Steve stood stiff and arched back, pinned on his feet by his friends.
"Take the girl and go. I can't hold him like this for long," Bucky said, straining.
Natasha turned to do as he said, but she was too late. Estrella rushed past her and right up to Steve. She put an arm around Estrella to take her away, but the girl got her arms around Steve first.
They kissed. Steve struggled to get his arms loose so he could hold her like she held him. He didn't try to step away from Buck. He didn't need to. His girl had come to him. Natasha didn't want to forcefully rip Estrella away. It could damage her, and she wasn't a combatant.
"Don't go," Steve said against her lips.
"You know I have to," Estrella pleaded tearfully.
"Then come back. Don't leave me," Steve urged her.
He moved to lip at her neck, but Estrella pulled away from that. Bucky jerked at Steve, made him clear his head for a second at least.
"You'll see me Sundays at church. Ask me and we'll go out," Estrella told him.
Steve shook his head.
"Wanna hold you. Wanna sleep with you," he promised.
Estrella hummed her agreement. She wanted to feel his lips on her again if she couldn't have his hands. She pressed up on her toes and offered her neck to him.
"Gotta end this before he-" Buck strained to say.
Estrella didn't care how, but she ended up on the floor with Steve partly over her. Bucky's weight was painful where it pinched her legs. Natasha was trying to cut her in half at the middle, but Steve had her too. He got a leg over her hip and his pinned arms didn't matter so much.
He was stronger than they were. Steve shoved to where he wanted to be and then he kissed her, nipped her. He wasn't conscious of her scent, but he was drowning in it. Gonna…yeah. Like that.
She didn't care if it hurt. Steve rutted at her like they wanted and she clung tight to share the taste, the smell of them. Nobody was holding her arms, so she squeezed him and moved with him, reveling in the perfect rhythm he started. She bit at him as he did her. Their clothes were in the way, so they wanted to feel skin any way they could get it. They were loving bites, little kisses and explorations. She felt so hot, smothered until she had to pull away to breathe. Steve was sweaty and flushed against her, gone to the lure of her skin and her sex.
"Talia!" Buck barked.
There was pain, then strong arms ripped her out from under the weight of Bucky and Steve. Steve roared denial while Natasha hauled her away to the door. She didn't want to go! Just another minute with him!
She looked back through the open doorway as Natasha took her. Steve was fighting insensibly, thrashing with his legs and torso. Buck flipped and pinned him again.
"I've got ya, pal. Gonna keep her safe for you. Let- ah, dammit!" Bucky grumbled.
Estrella hurt to see Steve convulse under Bucky. He cried out harshly, then sobbed in defeat. Natasha put her in the elevator and the doors snapped shut.
"You're a selfish brat. Is that what you wanted?" she cursed at the younger woman.
Estrella cried quietly. Things weren't as she thought. They were worse. She ached for Steve. It felt wrenching and hollow to leave the tower, to leave him. The street outside was a jumble of noise before she was put into a car. Natasha hustled her across the seat, then jammed down a button to raise the privacy glass between them and the driver.
"We need him and you're fucking him up," Natasha bit out.
"I need him," Estrella whimpered.
Shakes seized her body, withdrawal from being so close to Steve when they wanted each other so badly. The thought was bitter that he was back in his suite with Bucky. Bucky, who didn't mind being very close to him. Bucky, who would do anything for him. Estrella ground her teeth and hot tears rolled down her face.
"Get yourself together. You can't walk up to Wanda's door looking like this. You look like a druggie," Nat instructed.
As minutes took them further away from the tower, Estrella's breathing started to ease. Steve was on her, his sweat, his kisses, his scent, but the air carried it away. The rear vents that Natasha turned on her replaced him with fresh diesel and gasoline smells from the street. She glared at the woman.
Her mind began to clear with each breath. Want still ached in her, but it was tolerable without him to keep it going. Estrella calmed and as she calmed, she tired. She felt let-down. Hopeless. Natasha guided her up to the fifth floor of her new building, stood her in front of the new steel door, and knocked.
Wanda made comforting sounds at her and took her in.
Back in the suite, Bucky huffed from exhaustion. The place was trashed. Walls were broken. Furniture had overturned, but not the new table. Steve sprawled in the middle of the shattered coffee table.
"Why? You coulda got loose," Buck asked.
"Had to let her go. Didn't want to. Needed somebody to fight other than me," Steve said.
"Anytime," Buck offered.
"Turn on the fan, will ya?" Steve asked after a minute of waiting for his skin to cool.
He was sticky, sweaty.
"Fan's busted," Buck denied him.
"I'm busted. We're busted," Steve rambled.
His hand flopped down from gesturing and a little cloud of sheetrock dust puffed up from the floor.
"You're not busted up. She still loves ya. Wants ya. Look at it this way, Stevie. Now that she's not underfoot anymore, you get to chase her. Court her proper. It could be fun," Buck said.
Buck had a point. Steve dragged his overturned chair close enough to lean against it. He already missed her. She would miss him too. He knew they craved each other's touch. It was like a hunger for a person instead of a drug.
His eyes unfocused and strategies flowed through his head. He was lost in thought and possibilities until Buck grunted. Steve glanced over.
"You'll figure it out. But first you're gonna have to explain why you lost your sauce under your best pal. I think she saw that and she probably wasn't happy about it. Gonna have to explain," Buck smirked.
"You know it wasn't you. It was her, all the way. I had her, and I almost-"
"Almost nothin. I get it, but you're gonna have to explain it to her," Buck warned him.
Steve's head cleared enough that he could look around and see the mess they'd made of the place. It didn't matter. He needed something to do, anyway.
"Is she going to be safe over there, Buck?" Steve worried.
"Yeah. I checked it out myself. Stark's upgrades are good. I'll take shift guarding her when she needs it. She'll be safer if you stay the hell away."
"Want her," Steve complained one last time.
His voice was still hoarse from yelling it.
"Ya think? Geez. Get off your ass and help me clean up," Buck grumbled.
Note: Fun times ahead! You know Steve likes it best when he has to work for what he wants.
