The Janitor has some fun!
Yay! In this chapter, my new fic shall be announced!
Jill: Wow…this took longer to do than we thought!
Jack: That's mostly because I just went through the busiest week of my life…GAH! I HATE TERM PAPERS!
Sonic: I'm happy! The busier you are, the less you can torture us! (prays for millions of term papers to be ahead)
Jack: Grrr…
You: Teach Knuckles the Falcon Punch. and unless you add Falnic I will withhold ALL your abilities. I authorise all the characters to shoot you if you try to get them back (you will only get them back if you DO add Falnic. and he stays.)All other characters; see above for your duties.
-TARDISreviewer
Jack: Finally, Knuckles can learn the punch that he ripped off!
Knuckles: Alright, so what do I do?
Jill: (hands Super Smash Bros. to Knuckles) Just say the words and move like Captain Falcon!
Knuckles: FALCON….PAWNCH! (sets nearby tree on fire) Damn it!
Janitor: (pulls out Super Soaker, takes out fire and then goes after Knuckles)
Knuckles: AHHHHHH! Stop spraying me!
Jill: (yells out to Janitor) Hey...you know who would hate the water more? (points to Sonic)
Janitor: (goes to Sonic, madness ensues)
Jack: Sorry…but we can't handle too many OCs! We've seen bad things happen in other fics that used them….
Jill: HA! That means that I'm the only one with the powers this chapter!
Knuckles: Again? Oh no...
Shadow:go into the closet with my oc darcey do whatever you want(p.s. not a fan girl but likes shadow)
Jack:let darcey being this for the rest of the fanfic
Blaze:your rule you take a spartan lazer and kill anyone for 5 chapters
Amy:get out of jail kill sonic,jill and jack and yourself
Silver:you also rule take a spartan lazer and kill anyone for 5 chapters with blaze
Tail:kill everyone who loves you
Sonic:get trun into a girl for 1 hour
Charmy and everyone else kill yourself 100 times
HAVE FUN ^^ SILAZE RULRZ
-Darcey the demon hedgehog
Shadow: Not a fan girl? (coughs) Yeah right!
Jill: We can't have more OCs, but we can still send him to you! (throws Shadow to fan girls) Perfect!
Blaze: (grabs gun) Hmmm...goodbye, Jack!
Amy: NO! I'm supposed to kill him! (murders Jack, starts murdering Jill when she revives Jack) I still remember my jail time…wow, that was long ago!
Jill: Wait…wasn't Sonic the one that caused you to go to jail? (dies)
Amy: (gasps) THAT'S RIGHT!
Sonic: (still being sprayed by Super Soaker) AHHHH! SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME NOW!
Amy: Will do! (stabs Sonic)
Sonic: I didn't mean literally…(dies)
Amy: Murder-suicide? Awww…(kills self)
Jack: Note to self: Amy is dangerous with a knife! (revives Jill)
Silver: (grabs gun) Time for those fan girls that pair me up with Sonic and Shadow to pay! (jumps into yaoi fan girl crowd)
Yaoi fan girls: (overpower Silver, send him into Project Runway as a model)
Jack: (shudders) Now Silver will have to face Heidi Klum!
Jill: If only we had forced him to speak in the Schwarzenegger accent again before this! That would have created an interesting meeting…
Tails: (shoots Cream and Cosmo) I have to kill all of my fan girls as well? Damn it…(brings out his nukes, fulfills their purpose)
Jill: (revives Sonic with "special features")
Sonic: Damn fan girls….always messing with our genders!
Shadow: (rolls eyes) Tell me about it…
Jill: I think I know the best way to cause this mass suicide….AUTHORESS POWERS! (turns everyone not mentioned in review into the mindset of Shadow, plays Barney Song on loudspeakers)
Charmy: My life….(stabs self)
Everyone else: (wipes themselves out faster than the Heaven's Gate people)
-One hour later-
Jack: This chapter is getting strange…
Sonic: (turns back into a guy) Yes! I managed to avoid yaoi!
Jill: I wouldn't say so just yet…
Dude! AWESOME! I LOVE THIS CRAP!
As for my dares:
I dare you to use your awesome author powers to
A) make tails a girl, make sonic not know, and have him keep touching his boobs accidentaly and not even realize it. Also, make sonic find out after about 15 times that Tails is a girl, and have them have lots of sex in the closet, showers, and in the middle of the fangirl/boy pits. The fangirls and boys will be unable to maul/kidnap them. Also, any/every girl that loves tails or sonic has to watch every single moment.
B) Make Amy take Rohypnol, and have every male in the studio (including you) rape her for this chapter and next. Also, you have to make every guy ENJOY it. NO angry sex.
C) Make shadow cross-dress in a whorish uniform (clear heels included) and dance on the pole in the background of the sonicxtails sex scenes.
D) If blaze is still in the water, have her defy the laws of physics by lighting the pool on fire. If she is no longer in the water, have Silver join her in the pool, where they can have some fun.
E)Jack, you and jill will be hypnotized into getting in the closet with each other. No cameras/videotape. *dont include this in the story* You dont have to do anything, just make it sound like something hilarious happened, then tell everyone what you did instead of what they thought you did.
F)The chaotix now have to kiss each other until the Janitor kills them for puking so much. The janitor then can have a break for the rest of the chapter, in which Cream can do the manual labor (revive her if dead.)
G) Make cosmo join in with tails and give sonic a 3some.
If that isnt torture, then i dont know what is. Loving this fic, PLEASE include this! Oh, and good luck with your schoolwork jack. I understand how hard it is to write with all that oppressing homework...
-IsaacGaretMia
Jill: (revives everyone, gives Tails the "special features" for the chapter)
Tails: (shudders) I hate these "turning into a girl" fics…
Jack: Then you shouldn't be VOICED by a girl!
Jill: (talks to everyone) Ummm…this new fox girl is…Sliat!
Shadow: That sounds like slut…
Jill: SHUT IT! She will be here for the chapter, so be nice!
Sonic: (touches boobs without realizing it) Whoops! Sorry…(gets slapped)
Jack: I know where Amy can get Rohypnol…takes her to a nightclub) Now remember…ALWAYS take drinks when guys offer it to you! It's the least you could do for them…
Amy: Alright! Party time! (heads into nightclub)
-Back on stage-
Amy: Wow, man….that soda tasted GREAT!
Jill: (throws Sonic into closet with Amy) Go for it!
Sonic: Ummm…Amy, let go of me-AHHHH! I THINK THIS IS QUICKLY TURNING THE OTHER WAY AROUND FOR RAPE! GET HER OFF ME!
Jack: (shrugs) Meh. I think everyone wants him to suffer for being such a pervert!
-Many guys later-
Jack: (shudders) I hated my time with her…she kept thinking I was Sonic and trying to give me the fan girl grip of doom!
Jill: (hypnotizes Jack into thinking he liked it)
Shadow: (runs out of closet scared in stripper uniform) Look at what she dressed me up in!
Everyone: (laughing)
Jill: (summons yaoi fan girls) Attack!
Yaoi fan girls: (force Shadow to pole dance at gunpoint)
Sonic: (gets slapped again) GAH! I have to get away from those boobs!
Jack: You realize that's Tails, right?
Sonic: (throws up) You bastards!
Jill: And now you two have to do a three-some with Cosmo, apparently! (sends them to closet, kicks out Amy)
Jack: And yet more sex is going on with Silver and Blaze…who have to go swimming together!
Silver: (escapes Project Runway) I don't even want to talk about what the guys there did to me…(shudders)
Blaze: Time for some action this chapter! (heads into pool with Silver)
Jack: Whoa…you can do THAT with bubbles?!
-Later-
Jill: Well, I guess we have to…(heads into closet with Jack)
Everyone: (listens inside closet)
Jack: AHHH! Where did all of these aliens come from?
Jill: They're taking over everything! RUN!
Jack: AH! I'm shot by one of their lasers!
Everyone listening: (wide-eyed)
Shadow: This is all Cosmo's fault! No aliens would be here if it weren't for her!
Cosmo: Guys, I didn't send them-
Sonic: BURN THE WITCH…alien thing!
Everyone: YEAH!
Cosmo: AH! (gets lit up at stake)
Jack and Jill: (run out of closet laughing)
Jack: HA! We totally deceived all of you! (notices bonfire) Oh…
Jill: Can't you idiots last for a few minutes alone without burning something?
Knuckles: Honestly? No.
Jack: (rolls eyes) Well, let's just torture the Chaotix already…
Espio: (kisses Vector, then throws up)
Janitor: (starts cleaning) Stupid kids…not this kissing again!
Vector: (kisses Charmy, then throws up)
Janitor: Why can't you kids stop being so stupid…(continues cleaning)
Charmy: (kisses Espio, then throws up)
Espio: Man…this is worse than that time we had to smoke those bad mushrooms-I mean, candy canes! (throws up again)
Janitor: I'm done with this! My duty is to clean up messes, so…(pulls out taser, sets it on highest level and lets loose on the Chaotix)
Espio: I'm…tired…of…this! (twitches, then dies with Vector)
Fan girls: (swear vengeance upon the Janitor)
Janitor: (kills Charmy with taser)
Fan girls: (cheer)
Cream: Now I have to clean these bodies up? (sighs) I feel like a Mafia hitman when doing this…(starts cleaning up)
Hmm, you'd think Chris Thorndyke would have joined in the show by now. Well, I demand he and his friends, Danny, Frances and Helen come join the fun!
Dares:
Chris: You were very unfair to Danny during the Sonic Battle. Therefore, Danny gets to kick ya right in the balls.
Danny: You are a pimp! You should have gotta more screentime! Therefore, you get to have Amy, Rouge, Cream and Blaze all to yourself in the closet for an hour! Have fun! One condition though, live cams! *evil grin*
Frances and Helen: You get to make out with a male Sonic character of your choice and Jack, use your uber Author Powers to allow Helen to stand and walk just for this dare!
That's it for now!
-Danny Fan
Jack: Don't worry…your other review already got them here!
Danny: I remember that!(kicks Chris between the legs) Thanks for reminding me!
Chris: Ow…
Danny: I don't like the cameras so much…but the chicks are going to be fun! (heads into closet with them)
Fan girls: (liking what they see)
Jill: AUTHORESS POWERS! (makes Helen walk)
Frances: Hmmm…I'm choosing the bishie! (makes out with Shadow)
Helen: Same here! (also makes out with Shadow)
Shadow: Well…at least I'm out of the stripper outfit!
w00tI'm loven the story ^^
Shadow: Must go in closet with Knux and enjoy your sex with him XP you know both of you will like it!
Sonic: Have sex with Rouge while Knux watches
Knuckles: Have your revenge on Sonic MUHAHAHAHA!
Amy, Big, Charmy: Kill yourselves T_T I hate all three of you with a passion
Eggman: Make out with Sonic then Tails! XD
that's all I got right now lol
-Swift The Hedgehog
Shadow: NO! There's enough yaoi between me and idiots! (points to Knuckles and Sonic)
Jill: (hypnotizes both Shadow and Knuckles) Now take them in!
Yaoi fan girls: (drag Knuckles and Shadow into closet)
-Later-
Shadow: Oh baby…
Knuckles: What do I do now that I've done that pretty chick?
Jack: Just watch…
Sonic: Sex in front of everyone? (eyes widen) Umm…
Rouge: I know you suck at sex! Everyone knows! Oh well…
Sonic: (gets a good treatment from Rouge)
Jill: Why has this fic made so many of the Sonic characters such sluts…both guy and girl?
Jack: Because it's funny!
Knuckles: (notices Sonic and Rouge) HEY! It's my turn to ride her! (strangles Sonic)
Jack: That's how EVERYONE gets a ride on her!
Jill: (hypnotizes 3 into killing themselves)
Big: Uhhh…I don't feel like Froggy likes me…(kills self, falls on Amy and Charmy)
Jack: (throws up) That was brutal…
Eggman: (gets hypnotized) Must…love enemies! (starts kissing both Sonic and Tails)
Sonic: GAH! He's now become a creeper to me!
Tails: Well, at least I'm still a chick for this…(turns back into a guy) Damn! (gets tackled by Eggman) HELP!
Jack:…I think the right thing to do would be ignoring that!
Jill: Yep. Let's talk about the new fic!
Jack: Alright. Well, we were looking around at all of the video game parodies that the Sonic part of FanFiction has…and we noticed that though there were good parodies for Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Sonic Heroes…there weren't any good ones for the first Sonic Adventure game!
Jill: All of the Sonic Adventure parodies were either very short and incomplete, or boring! Sometimes both!
Jack: So therefore…(deepens voice) Coming to a FanFiction near you…Sonic Adventure: The Ultimate Parody!
Jill: We were originally going to call it Sonic Adventure: The Abridged Video Game… but then we realized that reading the parody took LONGER than watching the actual cut-scenes and playing the game!
Jack: We filled it up with LOTS of jokes…and we hope that this fic will finally provide a funny, complete Sonic Adventure parody!
The first chapter of it should be up very soon…oh, and for next week we shall have a special guest! I won't say who, but I'll just say that he's the main character of one of the funniest, most controversial movies I've ever seen!
