Today Marina finally returns to Rio!
I hope you'll like the first part of their reunion :)
And thank you for your reviews!
XO
Chapter 52 "Back home"
My love,
This is my final letter.. Although I felt embarrassed at times by writing down my feelings, I'm glad that I did. I want you to know all about me and how much I've changed since I met you. I love you, Marina. With all my heart, forever…
After Cadu got home, I tried to make his recovery as smooth as possible. I remained working at his bistro and loved to see Ivan happy again. But I never stopped thinking about you.. I couldn't take your calls, because Cadu was always around. It tore me apart..
I'll never forget the day I was busy working at the bistro. I wanted to walk towards the bar when I somehow felt your presence. My body froze when I noticed you, watching me from a distance. Your eyes were burning into mine while your lips formed a smile. I breathlessly stared into your eyes, completely overwhelmed by all the emotions that rushed through my body. I couldn't move while I exhaled loudly. Your eyes were fixated on me with such intensity, that my head started to spin.
For a split second your eyes slightly narrowed, causing a shiver down my spine. Your gaze revealed that you were just as exited to see me again. My desires took control while I walked towards you. My heart raced, I was so glad to see you again...
But I still wasn't ready to choose between the two of you. Cadu wasn't better yet and I felt obligated to complete his recovery at his side. But I realized that I considered it as an excuse at times.. To not have to deal with my choice.
And Juliana's words were still in my head.. I really wanted to be with you, but I couldn't cheat on Cadu. So the only option to be with you, was by leaving him. But I couldn't do that aswell. Not right now...
But every day it got harder to resist you.. I loved that you were about to spent a lot of time at the center. You teased that this was your way to keep in touch, so I wasn't able to forget you. I loved how we were flirting, unable to hide our feelings for eachother.
I remember how you gently grabbed my hand over the table. Your touch overwhelmed me and I exhaled loudly. My skin was on fire while I tried to control my breath. You leaned forward and brushed your nose against my fingers, before you slightly parted your lips. My heart stopped when you pressed your warm lips on my fingers, while you stared into my eyes.
A rush of warmth spread throughout my stomach and I got intoxicated by your touch. Your eyes were burning into mine while you slightly pulled back. I breathlessly stared at you, your fingers brushing my marked skin.
God, Marina, I completely forgot everything around us. I couldn't even remember my own name! I never felt like this before, and you only kissed my hand..
But it also terrified me, how much my body longed for you. The way you affected me.. I was afraid that I wasn't able to resist you, but I had to be strong.. For Cadu and Ivan..
I lost it for a moment when you confessed that you wouldn't give up on me. Because you hadn't shown me yet how good things could be between us. I startled and pulled back my hand.. I just couldn't deal with that right now. I was afraid to open my eyes for what you were offering me. Because once I got there, there was no turning back. And I instantly knew how much I would love what you wanted to show me..
I felt so guilty by facing your obvious disappointment. I drove you crazy with my mixed signals.. But I also noticed some kind of acceptance in your eyes. As if you realized that I couldn't chose right now..
You once told me that what we couldn't say out loud, we said in gestures and with our eyes. And months later this was still the case, but on a different level. You knew I loved you, although I never said those words out loud. And you knew I desired you.. But I couldn't cheat on Cadu, so we hadn't kissed yet. But we shared so many intimate moments, more intimate than most sexual acts I'd performed.
One of those moments I just mentioned, you kissing my hand. But also the day we entwined our fingers at the bistro, after I told you how you turned my world upside down. It wasn't just holding eachothers hands, softly squeezing eachothers skin. It meant so much more... Those touches involved all our hidden desires, the longings we couldn't express in another way.
This was our secret shelter.. Through our touches and our eyes, speaking a language only we could understand.
Cadu's recovery went well and I realized that the time almost arrived to make a choice. There wasn't any passion between Cadu and me anymore, we almost seemed relatives. But Ivan was our glue. I still wasn't at the point where I could cheat on him, although I couldn't leave him either.
But my feelings for you became stronger. I surprised you at your studio and I got overwhelmed again by my desires. I was blown away by your presence and you looked so seductive in your dress. It hit me how lost I felt without you. We couldn't keep our hands of eachother and I realized that I balanced on the line.. The line I couldn't cross, but wanted to so desperately.
I got so emotional when you tried to convince me that Cadu would be fine. Because he had me and Ivan. Your eyes revealed so many different emotions at the same time, that my heart started to race. Yes, I was still his wife.. But what about you? Would you be fine without me? And would I be fine without you?
I instantly realized that I couldn't live without you.. Because the hardest part of dealing with Cadu's illness, was going through all of it without you at my side..
It suddenly became so clear to me.. You were the one for me. You completed my life and I longed for you in every single way. But I still wasn't able to cross the line of cheating. So I confessed I wanted to spent the night with you, but that I couldn't.. You understood my reasons and whispered that you would wait for me. I nodded my head and bit my lip.
Your fingers burned on my cheek while you asked me when we could see eachother again. Your passionate gaze made my head spin and I breathlessly told you as soon as possible. I almost lost it when your thumb trailed over my lip, while I noticed a desire in your eyes I hadn't seen before.
I grabbed your hand and stared into your eyes. Trying to show you the truth of the words I was about to say. I needed you to believe that I wanted it aswell. Just as much as you.. Although I had to leave you with nothing again..
Your features washed over with joy and happiness. But I also noticed the relief in your teary eyes. My heart skipped a beat, because I could tell how long you'd waited for me to say these words out loud. The fire in your eyes ignited while I brushed your hair behind your ears. Your lips slightly parted and I couldn't breathe. Every inch of my body tingled and my heart started to race.
I pulled you closer and realized that I came to the point I wanted to kiss you. I needed to kiss you and to finally fill the aching hole in my chest. I noticed the surprised flash in your eyes, the realization of my intensions. I held your face between my trembling hands while a million thoughts rushed through my mind. Don't do this, you're married! Do it, you've waited long enough! Marina has waited long enough!
When I felt your hand on my shoulder, I got back to my senses. The reality I found myself in hit me hard. I closed my eyes, trying to find the strength to resist you. My heart broke when I suddenly walked away, without saying a word.
I felt terrible about leaving you like that... And I did it once more after our dinner. The day that changed everything.. Your statement that you couldn't watch me walk away anymore, made me aware of all the pain I'd caused you. I'd left you too many times and you couldn't deal with it anymore. Something snapped inside you and I was afraid that I couldn't fix things between us..
Ever since you came back from London, we started to write our own story together..
Marina slept most of the time during the flight, after she'd read Clara's final letter. Her words had warmed her heart and she was so moved by facing the world through her eyes. How much she'd struggled with her feelings and emotions. How much pain she went through. How much she'd changed.
It put her own journey since they'd met in perspective. All her questions and all her doubts now made sense. They both struggled in their own way while their love for eachother was equivalent. Only Marina had known from the start what her feelings meant. Clara had to find her way in what it was that she felt.
Clara wrapped her hands together to control her nervousness. The prospect of seeing Marina again caused a shiver down her spine. She barely slept last night by all the sensations that rushed through her body. She glanced at her watch again and sighed impatiently. Many people had gathered around to surprise their loved ones and she felt how a smile took over her face.
She stopped breathing when Marina appeared through the door. Her heart raced against her chest and her smile grew even wider. She already ran towards her, when Marina spotted Clara aswell. She dropped her suitcase while her face enlightened. Before she could take a step, Clara already wrapped her arms around her trembling body.
Marina moaned softly by the intensity of their embrace and closed her eyes. God, she'd missed her so much.. She counted the days for this moment to arrive. Clara couldn't stop a tear from falling down by the sensation of holding Marina again.
"I've missed you so much..." she whispered in Marina's ear.
They held eachother for a while, before Clara slightly pulled back. She glanced around and noticed how crowded the arrival hall was. But she couldn't control the urge to kiss her. Marina's eyes mirrored her own thoughts, before their lips melted together in a passionate kiss. Clara's head started to spin while she pressed Marina close to her body. Marina tongue made her lose all sense of time and space, and she surrendered herself completely into Marina's arms.
They breathlessly parted their lips and faced eachother intensely. Still overwhelmed by their passionate kiss, both hungry for more..
"I've missed you too..." Marina whispered and softly caressed Clara's cheek.
On their way to the exit, Clara noticed some people frowning their eyebrows by facing them holding eachothers hands. It hit her that she couldn't care less. She felt sorry for their inability to accept the love between two people. She'd lost all her reservations in Amsterdam, when she decided to stop worrying about others. She embraced her feelings and the whole world could know it.
When they arrived outside, Marina inhaled deeply. She tilted her head for a moment and closed her eyes. The sun warmed her skin and her body shivered. She softly squeezed in Clara's hand, forcing her to stop walking.
"God I've missed the heat..." she whispered.
Clara glanced at her lips and couldn't help but to chuckle. Marina pulled her closer and faced her questioning.
"What are you laughing about, you little bandit?"
Clara bit her lip and faced her playfully.
"Which heat did you miss?" she teased with a huge smirk on her face.
Marina let go of her suitcase and wrapped her arms around Clara's waist. She giggled and pressed her lips on Clara's. Her body tingled while she slowly leaned back to face her again.
"Guess..." she whispered breathlessly.
Clara's eyes darkened and she had to gather all her strength to control herself.
"God... I want you, Marina..."
They stared into eachothers eyes and Marina tucked a strand of hair behind Clara's ear, while she kept her other hand under Clara's jaw. She placed a gentle kiss on Clara's forehead, before she faced her intensely again.
"I'm yours..." she whispered, slightly out of breath.
Clara closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. Why weren't they home yet? The burning desire inside her body was unbearable. But the prospect of what was about to happen made the waiting worth the while.
"Let's go..." she whispered and took Marina's hand in her own again.
