Chapter 51: New Year

The New Year party had been a dream, an absolute dream! Draco had invited everyone- Harry, Ginny, Ron, George, Percy, Bill, Fleur, Luna, Xenophilius, Neville, Alice, Frank, Kingsley, and the whole host of guests that Molly Weasley had planned to have at her home- Hagrid, Minerva, The Diggory's, Arthur's work friends, extended family, so many people she didn't know- and the Manor had seen a celebration like nothing she had ever known. The fiendfyre never destroyed the valley. Apparently, the magic in Narcissa's blood had erased much of the suffering from Luna's vision.

Kissing Draco at midnight for the first time had been secluded and special, hidden under the stars and moon, behind the waterfall- beyond everyone's eyes. This hidden romantic side of him surprised her, and filled her with desire. She'd wanted to take him, right then and there. He'd gently refused- she could tell it tore him up to do it. Hermione wasn't sure how much longer she could respect his need to go slow. Every time he said no, her body responded with a stronger and stronger need for a yes. It was stretching her already thin patience. It had been a terrible surprise that first night she'd come back to his bedroom, aching to touch him again, and he'd nearly lost it as she'd tried to put her hands on him.

Two weeks into the New Year, and it was starting to strain things between them. He had started sleeping on the couch, both at the Manor and the Burrow, because she apparently couldn't keep her hands off of him when she was asleep. Neither slept as well apart as they did together. One of them was going to have to give, soon, and she did not think it would be her.

He was trying, that much she had to give him credit for- but it was almost making things worse. They'd ended up half naked together, multiple times now, but either he'd told her he needed to stop, or he hadn't been able to get hard. Draco was absolutely ashamed of it, and that made it even more difficult to do anything about it. At her insistence, he'd reluctantly promised to bring it up with Healer Thomas, but that promise had cost her. Draco had started returning to her later and later at night, waking up earlier and earlier to kiss her goodbye.

Where was he going all the time? He refused to tell her. Hermione had picked up the research for her parents again to distract her from his distant behavior, and Draco had suggested she use his book to search for anything helpful. She had found a few chapters that looked promising. Draco beamed at her every time he saw her working on it, and it never failed to get a fantastic hug and loving kiss. It didn't matter if they were at the Manor, or the Burrow. He looked so happy in those moments, and the hug was amazing, and his kiss was excellent... but she wanted more than that. She needed more than that from him.

When he had taken up this strange schedule, and refused to explain it, she'd forced him to promise to come home before midnight. Promised! Now, she lay alone in his bed, tense, trying not to look on the wall at the time. She rolled into her stomach, noticing the new clock by his bedside for the first time, and that it read midnight. That did it. She was livid. It was the first promise he'd broken.

Hermione had taken the floo to Grimmauld Place, woken Ginny within seconds, and told her to find him for her so she could give him a piece of her mind. Both women had been startled to discover he was at St. Mungo's. Fear for his safety flooded her senses as she used the floo to get there, ignoring Ginny's offer to go with her. She rushed to the front desk to find out where he was. The Diagnostic Ward. Hermione felt a sense of dread as she hurried down the familiar hall. What was wrong? Why hadn't he told her anything? Secrets… she understood now why Ginny had been so angry. Secrets between them were poison, and neither of them had realized what he had been doing with his silence.

At the end of the hall, Hermione froze. Thomas, Amy and Draco were standing there in the hall. They all looked exhausted. However, Amy was bouncing on her heels with excitement, and the smile she gave Draco made Hermione's stomach twist unpleasantly. Draco said something she couldn't hear. Thomas laughed. Amy suddenly reached up, took Draco's face in both hands and kissed him once on each cheek. Draco's eyes went wide in shock. Amy turned and repeated the same gesture to Thomas. They were all laughing- Draco was blushing.

It didn't matter that Amy did it to both of them. Jealousy and pain ripped through her, stealing her breath away. Fear for his safety fled, and now she wanted to hurt him, and she wanted to run away and never see him again. Draco's eyes caught hers. She saw the smile vanish, he looked concerned and confused and surprised now. Without waiting for an explanation, she trusted her instinct to run. Hermione turned on the spot, appearing back at the Manor. She'd pack her things and go to the Burrow for a few days until she calmed down enough to… what? Talk to him? Break his nose? She wasn't sure which was the better option right now. A vase of flowers he'd gotten her exploded when she looked at it. Breaking his nose. That sounded better.

He was too quick for her, though. When Draco apparated behind her, she raised her wand to strike him, but he disarmed her without a word. Then, he flicked his wand. All the windows and doors slammed shut. Even the fireplace slammed closed so that the floo powder would be useless. He went to the bedside table, opened a drawer angrily, threw both their wands inside, slammed the drawer shut, then turned a key to lock it. Hermione stood there, frozen in shock as he pocketed the key.

She didn't recognize her own voice when she spoke. "Give me back my wand, Draco."

He crossed his arms over his chest, glaring coldly at her. "Absolutely not. I'm not letting you run away like this."

Her fists clenched at her sides. "I said, give it back!"

Draco's eyes never left hers as he shook his head no. "Not a chance."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, stomping over towards him. "I wasn't asking! I'm telling you- you're going to give it back!"

He uncrossed his arms, stalking forward to meet her. "I have a better idea. You're going to stay here, and we're really going to fight this one out, Granger."

A ripple of fury coursed through her. He kept forward, and now she stepped back, feeling like her hair was standing on end. Somewhere in her mind, a warning bell sounded not to let him corner her, that it wouldn't end well if he did. She didn't care right now, she had to keep space between them. She wasn't sure what would happen if he tried to touch her.

"Wands not allowed, doors stay locked til this is solved." Draco said softly, eyes glittering. He was hurt. Good. "Explain why you're trying to leave me." Her back hit the wall.

The words exploded out of her. "Draco, you're hiding something from me!"

He had the audacity to look confused. "I am not!" Her heart thudded painfully in her chest. That was a lie! She could see it, she could feel it.

"Don't you dare!" Hermione hissed, narrowing her eyes at him, "Don't you dare try to lie to me!" Hermione felt herself going pale with rage. She'd never felt this angry. "Explain why you've been going to St. Mungo's all the time- and why you blushed when Amy kissed you!" Hermione felt herself shaking with rage. She was beyond tears with her anger- she had never felt this hurt. "Did something happen between you two while I was stuck like that? Is it still going on? Is that why you won't touch me?"

His eyes widened in understanding, and disbelief. "What?! Are you insane?!" Then he did the most unthinkable thing: he laughed. Hermione's jaw dropped. He was laughing at her! NOW?! Stupid man! She went rigid. Her hands clenched into fists and she stomped her foot hard on the ground with her first three words, nearly getting his foot under hers. "Don't you dare laugh at me! I SAW you with her, just now at St. Mungo's!"

He tried to stop laughing unsuccessfully, and he tried to gently take her hand. "Hermione, listen, you're jumping to conclusions-"

Hermione tore her hand out of his, the words ripping from her throat painfully. "THEN TELL ME THE TRUTH, DAMN YOU!"

"I can't!" he roared back at her, still half laughing, eyes glittering in amusement at her rage, "It's supposed to be a surprise, you fucking jealous witch!"

That was a face begging to be punished. Arrogant son of a snake! Hermione wanted to fuck him, and she wanted to rip his hair out. She compromised by holding his face in her hands, one hand digging into his hair, and kissing him harder than she ever had- nearly forcing her tongue in his mouth. She felt him tense, and pull away- felt his panic attack start, but her patience for that was long gone. Her fingers released his hair and she couldn't stop herself.

Her hand smacked him across the face. He caught her wrist and pinned it above her head, his laughter gone, a furious glint in his eyes. Her other hand hit him, turning his face with the blow. He trapped that one too, frowning now. One cheek would bruise, she was certain. Part of her was angry it wasn't both. Words tumbled from her lips without her permission. "Damn you, it's been months, Draco! I want you! I want you so much it hurts! Why are you making this so difficult?"

Draco's lips crushed to hers as he pushed her up against the wall with his body, a wonderfully familiar out of control sensation in his kiss. She felt a strong hardness against her thigh. Now he was ready? Now he finally responded to how starved she was for his touch? Too bad! Now she wanted to hit him again! But she couldn't resist kissing him back. When he pulled away, she glared up at him. "And another thing-"

He kissed her, more gently, squeezing her wrists softly. He almost distracted her. She bit his lip and he pulled back quickly. "Not now! Get your hands off of me!" He released her immediately but didn't step away. She pushed at his chest to force him to back up, and stuck an angry finger at his face. "Don't you try that now, Draco Lucius Malfoy, I'm not done yelling at you!"

"Hermione, I can't fix everything at once!" He growled, unbuttoning his shirt and throwing it away from him. He stepped forward and her fingers curled against his undershirt. He kept his hands off her, but his lips brushed her ear as he continued in an angry hiss. His body was trembling slightly. He wasn't ready for this, but he wasn't about to refuse her. "How am I supposed to think about anything else, after hearing you say that? You can yell at me as much as you want after I fix this..." His teeth nipped at her ear. She wanted to yell at him some more, but the sensation of his teeth on her again lit all the sexual frustration in her body and set it on fire. Hermione put her hands on his belt and undid it rougher than she should've. "I don't care if you're ready for this or not, Draco, you had better finish what you're starting."

After they'd reconnected against that wall, on the couch and in bed, she'd forced him to tell her what he was being so secretive about. Draco hadn't given in willingly, but eventually he got up, gone to get a notebook from his potion lab, and laid it in her lap. He could've just summoned it. She didn't really understand why he'd done it that way. Inside were complicated calculations for restoring memories. Countless hours of research and dead ends- but by the look of the final pages, he had almost figured it out. She sat there, stunned, and had begun crying and apologizing intensely for overreacting and behaving so poorly. Draco had laughed at her again, but he'd also kissed her forehead, and asked her to promise him something for the first time.

"Granger… you better fight with me when you're mad. Lock up our wands, lock down this room, and hit me if you want to. Yell-scream-bite- I don't fucking care…" he kissed her temple, "...but promise me you'll never walk away again without a fight. Don't you try to run away from me like that, ever again." He put a finger to her lips for a moment before she spoke. "Only promise me if you mean it."

"You weren't home by midnight." Hermione growled irritably at him, finally telling him the reason why she'd gone after him to begin with. She felt a rush of anger as she recalled his broken promise.

"It wasn't midnight!" Draco argued back immediately, searching the walls for the time. Hermione took his jaw and pulled it down, pointing to the one by their bed, then pausing in confusion. That one still had both hands pointed to midnight. Her forehead creased in confusion, and she slowly sat up, taking it in her hands and giving it a shake. "What?"

He half smiled and half frowned as it took it away from her, looking almost amused. "I forget that you muggle-borns don't know about so many things about the wizarding world. Hermione," he kissed her softly, shaking his head in amusement, a grin splitting his face as he shook the damn clock in his hand and spoke patiently. "You were reading my apparition clock. It would have automatically summoned me back here by midnight, if you'd given it a chance. I set it up today so you'd know I would keep my promise, even if just barely… I knew the meeting tonight could've run late. We're so close to figuring this out..." He rested his forehead against hers with a sigh, "What am I going to do with you, witch?"

She burst into tears, upset that she'd gotten everything so wrong, and that he had actually tried to show her everything was alright. At that point, Draco was back to laughing at her, although he did hold her close and kiss her and pull at her curls until the tears had finally stopped.

Not long later, she was falling asleep in his arms again. Everything was good. Everything was finally back to the way it was supposed to be. "Hermione…Are you awake?" She didn't respond, she was drinking in this moment, and she had no more words to say. "Granger?" Silence.

Draco sighed in relief, rested his head against the pillow and started talking non-stop. "Woman, I thought I lost you today. When I saw that look on your face, I wasn't sure there was any way to bring you back. I don't think I've ever seen anyone that angry. I'm surprised you didn't punch me in the face the second I got back." She was surprised. Was this what he had done while she'd been in a trance? He had read to her, she knew, but had he spoken this stream of consciousness at her? Maybe she needed to start making sure she fell asleep after him.

He kept going. "I'm still trying to figure out how to keep from lying to you… it's an old habit, and it's going to take a long time to kick it… but I'll always tell you what they are eventually. I told you one today- one you didn't call me out on… the door was never locked. You could've walked out anytime… Merlin, I'm glad you didn't, I'm still too afraid to tell you this… but it'll never be locked. You can always walk away if you need to… as long as you come back. I'm not beyond dragging you back, if I have to, but I hope you don't make me do that."

Draco relaxed then. Almost like releasing the lie had given him permission to sleep. "I love you, witch…" he was falling asleep, his words unclear as he spoke, "…and I always will…"

Her chest swelled with love for him. That was decided, then. She was never going to be the first one to fall asleep, ever again.