Sorry for taking awhile to grind out an update.
So there's been lots of speculation as to what ON EARTH IS HAPPENING after what I dropped last chapter. This chapter might shed a little light, but things will still be plenty murky.
Chapter 51.
Wavepaw had retreated to his den.
He couldn't bear to look at the anguish on the faces of his Clanmates.
The anguish he had caused.
So, so stupid, he berated himself, Seednose's broken expression and Crowstrike's broken body floating in his mind. How could you do this to your Clanmates? Over what? A she-cat?
He could imagine Pondfrost's reaction so clearly it didn't matter that she had been ominously silent following her odd episode. Would you do it again?
He caught his breath as he realized the answer.
Without a second thought. He hated himself for it. He hated he needed her like this. But it's the truth. I would do it again. And I'm stupid enough to.
He wished Pondfrost were there to scream about the future. He wished she'd tell him how fish-brained he was being. He wished there was anything but the crushing, smothering silence.
"Wavepaw?" Like she had been sent from StarClan themselves, Cinnamonpaw appeared in the entrance of the apprentice den.
Her normal calm and relaxed aura floated over him and his muscles loosened. For once, he was glad of the cloud that settled across his thoughts, if only to give him a moment free of the crushing guilt of knowing he had indirectly killed two of his Clanmates.
"Hi, Cinnamonpaw," he muttered.
"Why so grumpy?" She said, bumping his shoulder and sitting down beside him. "We won, didn't we?"
"Crowstrike and Badgerfur are dead though…" he murmured, tracing meaningless patterns on the floor of the den.
Cinnamonpaw snorted dismissively. "Where I come from, you'd be lucky to only lose two in a battle like that."
Wavepaw looked up sharply. The mysterious russet she-cat didn't tend to talk about her past much, and he didn't want to make her clam up now. "Did you have a lot of battles like this?" He said cautiously.
"Some," she said, giving him a sideways look out of golden eyes that were far too familiar. "Usually not as… organized."
Wavepaw nodded knowingly, though he had no idea what she meant. Disorganized? But then how did they fight? Fights are about organization… that's why you have leaders and stuff.
"I see," he murmured.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" She invited. "Everyone's gloomy attitudes are irritating me."
Wavepaw shrugged. He certainly wouldn't disagree with that, but privately wondered why Cinnamonpaw was being so rude about the deaths and the battle.
"Let's go, then," she exclaimed, leading the way out of the den with her tail held high.
He followed her out of camp, careful to avert his eyes from the cats with their heads hanging low in mourning. He couldn't look them in the eye; it was too painful. Seednose wasn't present, which felt like a thorn twisted into his gut.
Looking away quickly, he dashed after Cinnamonpaw.
"So how's Flowerpelt as a mentor?" He asked, uncomfortable now that he was alone with the she-cat.
"She's… good," the she-cat replied. "She's taught me a lot about how the Clans work. You have so many rules I'm impressed they're not branded onto my tongue after how much she made me repeat them."
Wavepaw purred. "Yeah, but RiverClan's usually not quite as strict as Clans like WindClan, I've heard."
"WindClan?" Cinnamonpaw tilted her head with interest. "They fought with us, didn't they?"
"That's right," he agreed.
Cinnamonpaw hmmed to herself and glanced away. That's strange; why's she interested in WindClan? Wavepaw wondered.
"Well, other than that, I think I've learned most of what Flowerpelt has to teach me," Cinnamonpaw said dismissively, changing the subject quickly.
Wavepaw found himself nodding softly, then snapped out of it and shook his head vigorously. "You'd be surprised. I'm sure there's still plenty you have to learn- hey!"
Cinnamonpaw full-on tackled him, sending him sprawling sideways. By the time he was staggering to his feet, she had whipped behind him and kicked out with her backlegs and flung him in the other direction.
He coughed, trying to regain his bearings and counterattack. He managed a swipe in her general direction, but she was twisting out of his clumsy strike like a snake and slamming her paw onto his head, giving him a face-full of sand.
"Pah!" He spat out a small stone that had invited itself into his mouth.
Cinnamonpaw purred, the sound eerie, and dodged behind him.
He twisted, trying to predict her attack, but her tail wrapped around one of his front paws and he tripped onto his face. Again.
This time, she threw her head back and laughed, a manic note in it. She leapt onto his back and his belly slammed into the ground, effectively knocking the air out of him. She wrapped her tail around his head this time, covering his eyes and blinding him.
"I surrender!" He hissed through a mouthful of sand.
The weight from his back disappeared, he could see again, and air rushed back into his lungs.
"Great StarClan!" He choked. "Flowerpelt must be an incredible mentor. When'd you learn that tail thing?"
"Not something I learned from Flowerpelt," Cinnamonpaw said mysteriously, then her golden eyes flashed with pain.
"Are you okay?" He asked, alarmed.
"Fine, fine, it's nothing…" she muttered, looking away quickly, leading him to believe it might not have been physical pain.
A sharp tug from inside his chest surprised him. He wanted to comfort her, but she was so… confusing. How would she react to me trying to help her? He wondered. Only one way to find out, I guess.
"You can tell me," he said reassuringly, pressing against her lightly. His tail ventured to touch her shoulder lightly, but she jumped like there was an electrical current between them.
"No, no, this is all wrong," she muttered to herself, then straightened up, all emotion fleeing her eyes and only flat golden stone in its place. "I'm fine; promise."
He gave her an uneasy look, but she smiled and he relaxed a little. If there was something bothering her, she would tell me. Probably. Maybe. Would she?
"Why don't Clan cats kill?" She asked suddenly.
Wavepaw jumped, startled by the morbid question. "Um… it's dishonorable. An enemy doesn't need to be dead to be beaten."
Cinnamonpaw tilted her head, absorbing his words, then said, "But ThunderClan might attack you again. And you killed their leader."
"They won't attack again soon; Thornstar was the only one who was being aggressive. Uh, I think," he told her.
"They won't attack again soon," Cinnamonpaw threw his words back at him. "But eventually, they might. Right?" Without waiting for an answer, she swept on. "And since you all seemed to be terribly attached to Badgerfur and Crowswipe or whatever, wouldn't it be better to wipe out ThunderClan before they can kill more of you?"
"That battle never should have happened," he snapped, but she continued.
"You might have rules saying you can't kill, but that didn't stop ThunderClan. Now Crowswipe and Badgerfur will never breathe again because of those scum. I don't understand what's stopping you from unleashing the full force of RiverClan while they're still recovering," Cinnamonpaw growled passionately. "Why don't you protect those you love? What do you stand to gain by leaving ThunderClan alive?"
Her gold eyes flashed with fervor. Her russet fur darkened before his eyes and suddenly her tabby stripes with jagged and white, and no! He shook his head vigorously to dispel the image of Lightningpaw before focusing on Cinnamonpaw again.
"We don't kill," he repeated, but the words sounded hollow. Why don't we kill ThunderClan? They broke the code in the first place by murdering Crowstrike and Badgerfur. They deserve to burn. Lightningpaw can join RiverClan and the rest of them can burn.
Her eyes flashed with triumph. "ThunderClan deserves to fall."
"I- I can't. I'm just an apprentice," Wavepaw said softly.
"Right now," Cinnamonpaw agreed. "But not always. One day you'll be a warrior, then a mentor, then a deputy if you do it right. A leader too, if you don't mess up."
Wavepaw nodded along, seeing it clearly.
"And then you can wipe them out, once and for all."
He nodded.
The fire in Cinnamonpaw's eyes finally died down and she rocked back on her paws, giving him an appraising expression. "You're an odd cat."
"Thanks?" He replied, stifling a purr of amusement.
Her eyes lit with something unreadable, and he felt the same tug in his chest. Her fur blurred in front of his eyes, and his younger self's mew rang in his ears. She was pretty and red…
Cinnamonpaw looked away suddenly, her tail tip switching back and forth.
"Cinnamonpaw…" he began slowly, finally taking the opportunity that had been missing for nearly a moon. I need to find out why she's here. I know she didn't come from 'far away', she was in the twolegs place right next to our territory. But how do I start?
"I know," she silenced him.
He gaped. "You know what?"
She tilted her head slowly. "I know that you know who I am. Or at least, you have an idea of who I am. And I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you were the 'little silver tom over by the fence.'"
He nodded, the words that had plagued his nightmares for moons echoing in his ears.
"Then what do you want to know?" She smiled daringly.
His stomach lurched. "Uh… who's Embyr?"
She smiled again, but this time it was so painfully bittersweet it felt like his heart was twisting. "He… well… he and I were… paired. We were… fond of each other, I suppose you could say."
"Paired?" Wavepaw was confused.
"In… where I come from… cats don't choose their mates," Cinnamonpaw said uneasily. "The leader, Willy, chooses them. He doesn't rule with the benevolence of Snowstar or whatever; his leadership is mostly dependant on cats staying complacent and satisfied. Not happy, but satisfied. Because he knew that to keep a population quiet, happiness will make them greedy, so it's more important to grind the hope out of them."
Wavepaw shuddered. That's awful…
"And love gives cats hope. So they're not allowed to choose mates. Those that do are put to death," Cinnamonpaw said coldly. "But I had special privileges and so Willy allowed me to choose my own mate. I knew better than to fall in love. But Embyr was my best friend, and I knew that if I couldn't have love, I could at least avoid misery."
Wavepaw felt sorry for her. Having to choose a cat but not being able to pick one you might actually love? That would be awful…
"But I escaped," she said. "Willy wanted me to do something horrible, and I escaped instead. I came to the Clans, just like many before me. Patches, Benny, even Kitsune tried to escape once. That last one didn't work out so well…"
He shuddered, not wanting to know what 'didn't work out so well' would entail. "I'm so glad you left them," he murmured.
"Me too." She fell silent for a moment. "I'm sure Embyr's been repaired by now."
He laid his tail on her shoulder softly, and she turned to him, her eyes misted with memories.
"I've done awful things Wavepaw," she murmured. "Awful, horrifying things. If you knew half of it, you'd run away screaming."
He shook his head, hard. "I'm sure it's not that bad," he offered.
"Once Willy made me kill a litter of kits in front of their mother for disobeying him," she said calmly.
Wavepaw's eyes widened. "Great StarClan."
"Exactly," she said, looking away. "But… I'm going to try to fix things. I don't want be his ki- killing tool anymore. I'm going to change."
Now Crowswipe and Badgerfur will never breathe again because of those scum. I don't understand what's stopping you from unleashing the full force of RiverClan while they're still recovering. The words from before rang in his ears. She doesn't understand mercy, does she?
"Can I ask you something?" He asked quietly.
She looked at him, tilting her head slightly in that way she had.
"Why do you have special privileges?"
Cinnamonpaw blinked. She looked torn.
"I- I'm his… he raised me," she murmured. "Alongside my sister Scar- Scarlet."
"Scarlet," Wavepaw breathed. Where have I heard that name before?
He thought he heard a sharp intake of breath, but then it was gone. Pondfrost? Was that you?
"We grew up together, we fought together, we scavenged together… and she left. And- well, my mission was to find her and kill her for leaving," Cinnamonpaw admitted. "But… she was my sister. I could never do that. So I ran away and joined RiverClan instead. And here we are."
"Here we are," he agreed uneasily.
"I hated Willy," Cinnamonpaw snapped, seeing his distrustful expression. "I hated what he made me do. I would have killed him if I could, but… but I was too weak. Too scared. Too cowardly."
Wavepaw was struck with horror by the idea of the enigmatic, capricious, confusing she-cat reduced to terror by one cat who was supposed to be her father, if Wavepaw understood her correctly. But she said raised, not that he was her father… so does that mean she's Acornkit and something inside her rejects him as a father? But she would have been too young to remember being taken by the rogues. Something's not quite right here…
"I- I just want to forget," she murmured, her eyes suddenly filled with tears.
Oh no! She's crying! Oh StarClan, what do I do? Alarm raced through him, and he laid his feathery silver tail across her shoulders. She just sniffled louder.
Suddenly, a shriek of pain echoed over the territory.
"Some cat's in trouble!" He exclaimed over the long, wailing cry.
Cinnamonpaw's eyes widened in panic. "It's coming from camp!"
Together, they retraced their steps and bounded back into camp. Wavepaw was winded after the run; he wasn't cut out for sprinting.
"What's happening?" He demanded to the nearest cat.
"Poolfur's giving birth!" Flameleaf exclaimed, looking like he was about to have a breakdown.
"Everything is alright!" Pikepaw suddenly appeared, his normally monotone voice powerful and commanding. "Sheepbelly has everything under control. The birth is going fine, and I'd ask every cat to please remain calm for Poolfur's sake."
Flameleaf stopped his squirming, but his eyes were still wide and panicked.
Worry seeped through Wavepaw's fur. Are cats supposed to scream like that when they give birth?
He heard Sheepbelly's muffled voice through the nursery walls and Poolfur's next shriek abruptly faded out and was cut off with sharp panting.
"I can't do this," Cinnamonpaw suddenly breathed, and turned tail and shot out of camp like her whole body had been electrocuted.
"Cinnamonpaw! Wait!" He called after her. She killed kits. No wonder she can't be around nursing queens… her life must have been awful, he thought, sympathy rushing through him.
Poolfur howled in pain again. I'm so glad I'm not a she-cat, he thought suddenly. I never want to give birth. Sounds awful.
Sheepbelly said something inaudible again. It continued this way for many more heartbeats before Sheepbelly finally popped out of the nursery with the news of, "It's done! You can visit her now, but please be quiet; she needs her rest."
Flameleaf immediately rushed into the nursery, and Wavepaw trailed after him a moment later, curious.
As he peeped into the nursery, he spotted the four newest additions to RiverClan in the dim light. They all squirmed together, tiny paws beating tiny ears.
So cute! He thought, stifling a purr as one of them rolled over and let out a high-pitched squeal.
"Four kits, all she-cats," Pikepaw informed him, appearing right next to him and making Wavepaw jump.
"Have they chosen names yet?" He asked.
"I think they're doing that now," Pikepaw commented, not taking his eyes off of the couple that was now hunched over their kits and talking to each other in low tones. "C'mon, let's get out of the way."
Wavepaw allowed Pikepaw to lead him away from the nursery and they picked a shady spot to sit together.
"Have you ever regretted your decision to be a medicine cat?" Wavepaw asked suddenly. "Y'know, have you ever wanted kits or had a crush on a she-cat or something?"
"No," he replied simply.
Wavepaw blinked. "But what if you met a cat that made you change your mind? Is it worth giving up the code to be with them?"
"I wouldn't," Pikepaw said decisively. "I have no interest in a mate."
Wavepaw looked at him, puzzled. "Really?"
Pikepaw nodded.
Wavepaw squinted at him, trying to figure it out. He doesn't want a mate? Why not? Doesn't every cat want to be loved?
"I think they've finished naming their kits," Pikepaw commented banally. "Snowstar's going to officially welcome them, I think."
Wavepaw nodded lightly and trailed away from the brown tom. Huh. He really doesn't want a mate. That's… interesting, I guess…
"Clanmates!" Snowstar called, sounding weary and blinking blearily at the Clan. "I have an announcement."
Cats trailed out of their dens and various resting points at the leader's call, all looking spent and bloody, but patched up with poultices and cobwebs.
"As you all know, Poolfur has kitted," Snowstar announced. "She has four healthy she-kits, named Splashkit, Trilliumkit, Islandkit, and Quailkit."
Cheers rose from the weary Clan and Wavepaw added his voice to the clamor.
And as one ends, another begins.
But Cinnamonpaw was still missing.
So QOTC is: Do you like Cinnamonpaw? Dang I'm starting to ship her with Wavepaw, and now I wanna write a one-shot where she and him have kits but she hates kits- dang it my stupid shipping brain…
~Pondfrost
