Disclaimer: Warriors isn't mine.
Written for monkeyCsaw's Scars Just Fade Challenge.
I was given Roselight, a slender cream she-cat with one half of her face disfigured and pale green eyes.
Useful
Fire, burning, spreading through the territory, all around her, smoke, filling her lungs, burning. Burning breaths, fire everywhere, leaping around, finding anything dry. Fire.
Roselight's eyes shot open, staring not at a wall of flames but at the walls of the medicine cat den. The fire had been a moon ago, rampaging through the farthest part of the territory; it hadn't come close to camp. The dead grass over there had burned to the ground, along with several dead trees, and Roselight had been caught there. She shuddered; remember the desperate scramble to escape. She had thrown moss around again; she reached over to pull some closer.
Redfrost limped in, the ginger and white tom glanced at her, the medicine cat stopped to stretch his front legs. His mutilated left front leg reached forward, Roselight flinched slightly, was how cats would see her? Disfigured?
Redfrost made a noise in his throat, Roselight flattened her ears slightly. Redfrost was still touchy about the subject of his leg, and the medicine cat was far from the friendliest cat.
"Why is it cats act like they've never seen my leg before when I know you all stare?" he asked, sure enough, an eye roll accompanying the statement.
"I didn't mean to…"
Redfrost huffed, sitting down, "I know that." His tail flicked behind him, "but your self pity is rubbing off."
Roselight looked away. "Leave me alone. Go torment apprentices."
"You must have me confused with the elders." Redfrost's voice was full of ice, Roselight swallowed; she'd offended him this time.
"I never thought you were an elder." She meowed carefully, wishing that she wasn't alone for once; Brackentail would be wonderful company right now. Redfrost's apprentice from his warrior days was the only one who could really handle him.
Redfrost huffed once, standing up as best he could, he always leaned to his left due to his bad leg not supporting him correctly. "Whatever. Bad dream?"
Roselight blinked, shook her head, and then turned to him, "What?"
Redfrost limped forward, further into the den, "you made a mess of your nest. Either you doing some strange stretching or you had a bad dream."
"How would you know?" Roselight snapped, looking away. It wasn't his problem, not his place to shove his muzzle.
A voice hissed in her ear, "because I have them myself, nightmares of teeth and pain, of being alone and too slow, of them combined, don't think I am oblivious Roselight, I know what it's like."
Roselight fur had risen as he spoke, Redfrost could move when he felt like it, she flattened her ears.
"So I had a bad dream, what's that to you?"
Redfrost moved around so she could see him, "mostly I was just making conversation. It would help me understand why you're still here. But then you dodged the question, that's interesting."
Roselight looked over at him; Redfrost sat down slowly, flinching as he shifted his weight onto his back legs. "You were loved by your Clanmates, you were popular with kits, apprentices, and even the elders didn't mind you as much. So why are you still here? Afraid of another fire?"
Roselight gave him a careful look. "Why do you care?"
Redfrost shrugged his good shoulder, "my job is to take care of all my Clanmates."
Roselight rested her head on her paws, "now who's dodging questions?"
Redfrost flicked his ears, "answer my question, I'll answer yours."
Roselight almost turned away before she admitted, "I'm not afraid of a fire."
"I care because you're still here and you're healthy now." Redfrost answered, "if it's not that, then what?"
Roselight lifted her head, staring at his yellow gaze, "really?"
"What?" Redfrost tilted his head, flexing his claws in the dirt.
Roselight turned to face him, showing her face, the damage done, the scaring; the left side of her face was covered in burn scars.
Redfrost merely blinked, "and?"
"And?" Roselight repeated, her voice rising. "Redfrost, are you seeing this? My face, cats would be terrified, kits, apprentices would flinch away! I wouldn't be the cat I was before, no one would see me as still me, they'd think they'd lost who I was, and I'm still me."
"Exactly." Redfrost snapped back, tail lashing once, "yet you hide in here, not doing anything, not proving yourself to anyone."
Roselight stared at him in shock as Redfrost hauled himself to paws, muzzle curling in pain.
"You were the cat the Clan needed. No matter what you tried, you helped all leaf-bare. You showed them that it wasn't time to give up it was time to try harder than ever. I was watching my Clan become a bunch of mouse-brains and you restored their glory."
Roselight swallowed, Redfrost stared at her, his eyes cold as ice. "Even I hunted when I could; it was nice to go with Brackentail again. It was good to see the best of the Clan. Those of us who remembered we were still useful."
Roselight stared at him, struggling to her paws, "I heard your story though Redfrost. You stayed here after your injury."
Redfrost curled his lips, showing his teeth. "Would you like to tell me that I should've moved back to the Warriors Den?"
Roselight slowly flattened her ears, Redfrost was looking at her face, his muzzle almost touching hers, and he hadn't even flinched.
"I would trade my injury for yours in a heartbeat." Redfrost informed her shortly, "if that dog had torn my face rather than crushed my leg I would've been thrilled. I swore to serve my Clan and I would still serve."
Roselight stepped backwards, "you don't understand Redfrost, you were respected for your fighting, and scars would've just shown that. You said it yourself, I encourage the Clan, how can I do that now?"
Redfrost huffed once, shaking his head, "you can go serve your Clan. Proving that no matter what the odds there is something you can do." He turned away, limping back into the den. "But what do I know; I'm just a crippled cat that couldn't even fight… What do I know about being useful?"
Roselight looked after him, shifting her weight slightly. Redfrost had sounded guilty, and she was beginning to regret her words. Redfrost was still considered something of a hero, even if he was the least friendly cat she'd ever met.
"Are you… talking about Cloudfeather?" she asked softly, afraid of his reaction.
"Perhaps." He didn't reappear, his voice just reached her, "I couldn't be a warrior after that, I knew that when I saw my leg. All I wanted to do was serve my Clan, Cloudfeather let me. She made me useful again and I couldn't even be useful when she needed me." There was a bitter laugh, "isn't it funny? She died and I got her job. I was useful again. She always let me be useful." Redfrost limped out of the dark; his yellow eyes had frozen again, sending chills down Roselight's back.
"Yet you sit there, ashamed of your injury, complaining you're not useful, when any cat worth their pelt would be trying to figure out how to still serve their Clan."
Roselight flicked her tail, "Redfrost, I'm not you. I don't think that way."
Redfrost halted, standing at the entrance. "So you would rather stay here, making the Clan work to take care of you, as if you have nothing to give them."
Roselight's shoulders slumped slightly, "I won't be allowed to give them anything."
The medicine cat's eyes melted, becoming pools of yellow, of grief and loss and was that failure. "No, you won't. You won't allow yourself."
Roselight watched him limp away, Redfrost's dark fur being swallowed by the darkness of the den.
"Why is it I can never be proven wrong about this Clan?"
Roselight didn't answer his question, obviously not meant for her. She wasn't sure who it was meant for, him or the spirit that still lingered with him.
It's different Redfrost! You were a hero! You showed you'd die for this Clan and when that was taken from you, you found another way. Roselight glanced after him, even before Cloudfeather's death. You do this for her. I can't, Redfrost, StarClan will never walk in my dreams.
She looked away, even silent and out of sight, the medicine cat was arguing with her.
Roselight moved towards the entrance of the den, staring out. The Clan moved around, working, talking, living. All without her.
Brackentail was walking by, talking to Blackstep, Roselight moved backwards.
Brackentail swerved, "hold on Blackstep, I'll be right with you."
Roselight flattened herself against the side of the den as Brackentail stuck his head in, "hey! Redfrost! Do you want anything?"
"Peace and quiet comes to mind!"
Brackentail laughed, Roselight almost smiled herself, Brackentail never let the medicine cat faze him. Not even during last leaf-bare, when they'd been so short on healthy cats the medicine cat had come out hunting with them a few times.
"Fine, you'll get it, but are you short on anything? Blackstep and I are going hunting and I thought I could bring you back some herbs or prey."
"No, I'm good now." Roselight swiveled her ear, was that a hint of… Warmth? From the usually cold cat that stunning.
"If you say so, don't complain later." Brackentail shot back, his whiskers twitching. "I'll see you later Redfrost."
"You mean you're going to bother me again?" Redfrost asked, Brackentail threw his head back and laughed at the horror in his voice.
"There's no escape Redfrost!" He replied, once he'd caught his breath, "there's never an escape."
"Vaguely evil." Redfrost's response was closer, he'd come over to see his former apprentice. "Now shoo."
Brackentail turned around, "you don't even want to come? We have space and you were good in leaf-bare."
"StarClan what did Blackstep do to you to deserve that offer?" Redfrost teased, "I'll just be in here."
Brackentail nodded, stepping back, "I'd better go. Blackstep's waiting."
"Brackentail, is there really room?" Roselight moved forward slightly, her face still in the shadows.
Brackentail jumped, "Roselight, hi. Yes, of course, there's always room for more hunters."
"Even me?"
"Why not you? I know you haven't gone out lately but you were pretty good last time we hunted together. Come on, I'll tell Blackstep." Brackentail offered, gesturing with his tail, "if Redfrost is okay with it."
"By all means take her!" Redfrost retorted, before plunging into his den.
Brackentail sighed, shaking his head, "sorry about that, he's a bit rude."
"It's fine, he just wants me to be useful." Roselight replied quietly, "now let's go."
