"Daddy!" Dakota's voice is shrill, reverberating in Jane's head as she leaps from the squad car.
"Maura stay in the car," She orders, sparing one glance to make sure that her wife has obeyed before following frost around the side of the building
"Gusano, let her go!" Jane calls, her gun trained on a spot right between his eyes.
"She is mine!" he howls, dragging the terrified girl towards his car. "She is my daughter! Look at her."
It's true, they do have very similar features…No. Jane shuts down any inner monologue or personal confusion and does her job.
"She's not yours Gusano now let her go. If you really care about her, you're not gonna put her through this."
Just then the step father barrels through the side door of the theatre, running straight for them.
"DADDY!"
Gusano spins his gun spinning with him. Jane asks without thinking.
A gun shot
Two.
Skip Ryan falls, and Gusano falls and Dakota stumbles under the dead weight of her biological father and falls too.
"Daddy!"
"Frost! Gusano!" Jane orders, moving towards Skip. She goes two steps before someone calling her name makes her turn.
"JANE!"
Maura has run around the corner, her face white as a sheet. She locks eyes with Jane, and then moves to take in the rest of the scene.
"Maura, Gusano shot the step father," she says pointing, and without waiting for further instructions, Maura stumbles past her to kneel by the fallen man.
Dakota manages to get up, charging towards her step father, and without thinking Jane catches her before she can get to close, turning her around, pulling the shivering little body to her.
"No!"
"Shh. It's okay. It's okay. He's gonna be okay, he's got the best Doctor in Boston with him, and he ambulances are on their way. It's okay." Scared and in shock, the thirteen year old leans into her, and Jane automatically strokes her hair. "It's okay."
"Is that man dead?" the voice comes from her shoulder. Jane glances at Frost, who nods.
"Yes." Jane says.
"Is he really my father?" she looks up at Jane, terrified.
Jane looks at her, and finds a smile for her, somewhere. "No. I told you. Your father is going to be fine."
"Say it again." Jane kisses Maura's jaw.
"Te amo."
"No, the other one."
"Te quiero."
Jane smiles against Maura's shoulder. "I like that one better."
"So does Spain."
"Who were you saying I love you to in Spain?" Jane asks, and Maura opens her mouth to respond, but Jane shakes her head. "No. Nope, forget I asked." Jane rolls to stare at the ceiling.
"Te quiero."
"Good!" Maura says absently, her eyes closed.
"How many languages do you know?"
"thirteen,"
"Holy Fu-cow," Jane catches herself as Maura opens one eye to glare at her. "Are you kidding me?"
"No. You had to be passable in at least three at the academy in Switzerland," she glances quickly at Jane, "And I found that I had sort of a flare for them."
"The understatement of the century, ladies and gentlemen."
Maura smiles and rolls over, reaching for the paper she'd gotten that morning on her one trip out of bed.
Jane moves to slip under her arm, so that Maura can keep reading.
"Is that the date?"
"Yes," Maura pinches Jane's arm, "We got married two days ago. The twenty fifth…You're not already forgetting what date we got married are you Jane?" Maura means this as a joke, but Jane looks stricken.
"It was a joke, Jane," she says quickly, taken aback by the look on her wife's face. "I didn't mean,"
But Jane shakes her head, forcing her expression into one of indifference, and then, with some more effort, mock annoyance. "I haven't already forgotten our wedding date, doctor. It just caught me off guard."
Maura rubs Jane's arm, deciding to drop it. They only have one day left in Costa Rica and Maura wants to make the best of it. She lets Jane snuggle against her as she flips the paper open.
"Maura?"
"mm?" Maura is engrossed in an article about cell regeneration.
"I love you."
Maura smiles distracted, "I love you too, sweet girl."
Jane snuggles into her side. "It's gonna be okay," she whispers, almost to herself, "it is."
Maura is too deep into her article to really register Jane's words.
…
"Tell me you won't go." Maura opens her eyes to look up at Jane, a little put off by this new request, but she doesn't hesitate.
"Never ever," she says quietly, watching as the emotions on Jane's face battle.
Maura puts her hands on Jane's hips, feeling the way they flex and relax as she moves in and out.
Jane leans over her, so that her hair falls around them like a curtain. Her lips graze over Maura's lightly. "Again," she says, like begging, and Maura almost opens her mouth to tell her to stop. But something in Jane's eyes keeps her from doing so.
"I won't go," she whispers quietly, And Jane shivers, kissing the side of her mouth again. She's being deliberately gentle, her hands moving over Maura like she's made of glass, and Maura frowns a little, despite the pleasure.
"More," she breathes into Jane's neck, feeling a tremor run through the woman above her.
Jane pulls back and looks down at her. "what?" she asks, even though Maura can tell that she's heard.
Something occurs to Maura, she licks her lips. "Harder. Please, I won't go."
Jane trembles, groaning. "Mauraa,"
But Maura wraps her arms around Jane's neck and her legs around her hips, "Please..I won't go, I won't go. Jane…unh,"
She opens her eyes wide in surprise as she feels herself lifted off the bed. Jane stands, her arms under and around Maura, supporting her weight completely. Still deep inside her.
"Oh, my god," Maura lets her head fall onto Jane's shoulder, unable to hold it up. "Oh my God, that's so…that's so good." She gasps a little when she feels the cold wall of the hotel room against her back, but it's pulled out into a moan over at once as Jane starts to move.
"Tell me," Jane's voice is hoarse against ear.
"I won't go, oh, oh, I won't Oh God, I need you like breathing…Oh, Jane, come on, baby." She says because Jane is shuddering against her, the long whine of her moan as she comes pulling Maura over the edge too, her body coiled around Jane's like a snake.
"What do you want? If it's money or something like that, you can fucking-"
"I wouldn't take money from you if I was dying," Jane spits, and her father's hands twitch.
"Then what is it that is so important that you had to come bother me, when you know full well, I don't want anything to do with you."
Jane scoffs, "Good, the feeling is mutual."
Frank Sr. pushes himself out of his chair and advances on her, but he is older than he was, and arthritic, Jane realizes. And she is taller than he is now, and no longer fourteen. She puts her hand slowly and deliberately on the firearm at her side. "Try it, you bastard. I would like nothing more than to lay you up for two weeks or a month."
He stops dead, and looks at her, clearly trying to decide if she has the guts. After a long moment, he turns away, sinking back into his office chair, "get out of here," he says, turning away, "And tell your cunt of a mother that whatever she sent you for, she's barking up the wrong tree."
Jane clenches her jaw, touching two of her fingers to her hip bone, where she knows the words "I love you" are engraved on the inside of her belt. This is for Maura. You have to know. For her.
"Ma, didn't send me. I came by myself. I need to ask you something."
"And you couldn't get your answer from anywhere else?"
"No," Jane says, and she sees her father's eyebrows knit together. "I couldn't. It has to come from you."
He doesn't answer her, but turns away and bends over his desk, picking up is pen, as though trying to get some work done. Jane takes a step closer to him. She swallows.
"I need to know if you loved Ma," she says quietly.
Franks pen stops moving, but he doesn't turn around.
Jane takes a deep breath. "I got married three weeks ago. I married Maura," she pauses, but the man in front of her doesn't answer. Jane sighs. "And I love her so much, Pop. I love her so much, and I've never been this happy or this terrified. Sometimes I look at her, and I imagine her gone, or away from me, or…and I just. I love her so much I want to hurt her. I want to make sure she never goes anywhere." Jane pulls at her fingers, long and thin like her father's. "It feels so," Jane rolls her shoulders, "Deep, and mean almost, and I just…I was wondering if I got that from you. Did you feel like that, ever? With Ma? I remember sometimes when you would yell, you were always saying things like, why don't you understand. Why are you making this so difficult, and I thought-"
But Frank slams his hand against his desk, and Jane jumps and stops talking. He spins in his chair and points his finger at her, and Jane notices that he's shaking.
"You shut your trap about me and your mother. You don't know anything about us. You keep your god damn nose out of things you don't fucking understand."
"I want to understand," Jane says desperately. " We were happy. We were all so god damn happy and then you just…everything just…and if I'm like you…If I could ever…I'm getting her away from me now. Before there's kids to watch me go after my own wife…before there's other, little innocent people who have to huddle up in their bedrooms and listen-"
Frank stands, still pointing, and his face is a blotchy angry red as he sputters towards coherence. "You! You, fucking- I never laid a hand on your mother!" He says his voice rising.
"I KNOW. I MADE GOD DAMN SURE OF IT," Jane yells back and her father moves quicker than she anticipated, grabbing her around the shoulders and giving her a little shake.
"AND YOU THINK I'M NOT FUCKING GRATEFUL FOR THAT EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE?"
Jane stares at him with wide eyes, her brain catching up with his words. He drops his hands suddenly and turns his back on her, "Of course I love your mother. I love her so much I almost killed you."
Jane opens her mouth, then shuts it again, realizing there are too many questions crashing around inside of her, and that she can't actually vocalize any of them.
Frank sinks into his chair, and rubs his face, "She chose you kids over me. She told me to get out," he looks at her and pain pulls the lines on his face into sharper relief. "But if I'dda laid a hand on her, I woulda put a bullet in my brain. I thank God he put you in my way. Every second of my life."
"You could have stayed," Jane says fighting tears.
Frank looks at her, and she realizes with a sick lurch of her stomach that his feelings towards her have not changed. That he is still as opposed to her sexuality as he was sixteen years ago, and now she realizes that he also sees her as an enemy.
Frank shakes his head, "Get out of here, Jane."
"Pop…dad."
"You're not my daughter," Frank grinds out.
"And you are nothing like me."
Maura snuggles against Jane on the sofa, letting the noise of the baseball game wash over her, basking in the smell of pizza and beer and Jane's shampoo. "I'm sorry I came out of the car."
Jane slips an arm around her, "I was going to get you anyway, for Skip. He's gonna be as good as new?" Jane thinks that if Maura gives her any other answer, she will have to personally find Dakota a new family.
Maura smiles, "yes. As good as new."
Maura kisses her shoulder and Jane tenses involuntarily. She feels Maura sigh.
"Jane, what is going on with you?" Maura asks.
But Jane pulls her arm from around Maura and stands up. The conversation with her father still seems too raw to bring up with her right now. "Maura…" Jane says tiredly. But she can hear the soft footfalls of the doctor as she follows her into the kitchen.
"No. No way. We're going to talk about this now. What is going on with you? You're not sleeping well, you don't like it when I touch you,"
"Of course I like it when you touch me."
"Could have fooled me!" Maura says, spreading out her hands. "Is it something I've done? Did something happen?"
Jane runs her hand through her hair, feeling anger start to simmer in her stomach. "I went to see my father this afternoon." She says quietly, and Maura's face whitens in alarm.
She takes a step forward, her eyes sweeping Jane's frame. "Are you alright? Did he hurt-"
"No. No. I just. I needed to ask him something."
Maura waits for a long time, and when Jane doesn't continue she finally says, "What did you ask him, Jane?"
"If he loved my mother," Jane says, shrugging her shoulders, "If he ever felt…" Jane touches a finger to her chest."
"The beast." Maura says quietly, and Jane looks up at her, surprised.
"What did he say?"
"he said I was nothing like him."
"He's right." Maura says taking a step towards her.
"Then why do I feel so angry. Why do I feel like I want to…" She looks at Maura.
"I don't know." Maura says, and Jane sighs, stepping away from her.
"I do."
"You do?"
"May 27th was the day marking the longest time we've ever been together. Like…in the same state." Jane clarifies as Maura looks confused.
"That was over three weeks ago," Maura says, still looking dumbfounded."
Jane nods. "I know. So every day is the longest you've ever stayed with me…Every day is like…"
But Maura's face is quickly falling into understanding. "Oh, Jane…"
"And if you walked away from me now…If you…"
Maura moves towards her again, but Jane's face gets pained, so she stops. "Baby…I"
"I would do anything to keep you here. I would do…and I can't…get enough of you. I can't hold you close enough and I can't fuck you hard enough to really feel like…" Jane runs her fingers through her hair again. "I'm sorry I swore."
"It was actually quite nice. In this situation," Maura says, half smiling.
Jane doesn't smile back. "I don't wanna hurt you Maur," she says. "I don't want our children to see me hurt you."
Maura feels her heart stop. "our what?"
Jane rolls her shoulders, cheeks a little pink.
"Come here," Maura says, and Jane steps into her arms carefully. "I want you to do something for me, okay?"
A nod.
"Picture me telling you I'm leaving." Jane tenses immediately. "not me being gone," Maura says quickly, "Me actually telling you I'm leaving. Or telling you to get out. Really think about it."
Jane does, and immediately she feels tears burn the back of her eyes. Sadness and devastation and terror. Maura rubs her back in circles, "Where's the anger?" she asks quietly.
"What?"
"I feel you getting sad, and scared….but where's the anger? Where's the fury that you're terrified about?"
Jane looks for it…but it's not there.
Maura pulls away to smile into her wife's face. "That's why I'm not scared of you. I know you. I know what you're capable of. You are not capable of hurting me, Jane Rizzoli. And I will spend the rest of my life showing you…and our children…just how lucky I feel every day to wake up next to you. But you have to show me all of you. Scared, angry, happy…" She smiles, "beastial."
Jane smiles, finally, and Maura squeezes her waist. "You have to tell me."
Jane nods. "I will try."
"I love you so much, Jay. I'm not gonna lose you again. Ever."
"I love you too." Jane sighs. "Maur?"
"yes, baby."
"Can we watch the rest of the game?"
"Of course."
Jane wiggles her eyebrows.
"Naked?"
Dedicated to Jobee and Davislp whose comments helped me realize what jane needed, and to bring it to her.
hope this clears up the missing honeymoon.
you guys continue to blow my mind with your comments. fallen austin, ts, jmpack, julez, *sobs into sweater* srsly.
the new handles I see: berber, boo, rizzyandizzy, you mad bro.
All of you. I consider myself so, so lucky to have your support.
happy reading,
t.c.
