Disclaimer I do not own the Fosters.


Callie was in the kitchen making a snack when Brandon came into the kitchen. He looked nervous.

"Hey B what's up" asked Callie a little uncomfortable.

"I did something stupid" said Brandon.

Callie wanted to respond in so many ways but she knew if she did he would never tell her.

"How's that different from what you normally do that we consider stupid" thought Callie.

"Illegal stupid?" asked Callie.

"Um no, are we alone?" asked Brandon looking around the room.

"I think so, my nurse is running some errands and won't be back for an hour, I have no clue where Jude is and the twins went to see Anna, as for moms, Stef's at work and Lena's with Jill, so yeah we're alone but I have a knife" said Callie.

Brandon looked at her hands. She did have a knife and he was surprised he missed it.

"I need to show you something and I need you to promise you won't tell anyone" said Brandon.

"Are you going to ask Alice to marry you?" asked Callie.

"No" said Brandon wondering why Callie would ask that.

"Ok so long as no one is harmed by the keeping of the secret" said Callie.

"OK good enough, so I um need to pull of my pants" said Brandon.

Callie raised her knife.

"Whoa whoa I swear I'm not trying to make a move, I mean you no harm!" yelped Brandon.

Callie lowered her knife.

"Fine but if I think your trying to kiss me or anything I'll get stabby" warned Callie.

"We were friends once!" defended Brandon.

"Then you tried to kiss me and told me you love me, hurry up I need to keep studying for my G.E.D" retorted Callie.

Brandon pulled down his pants then slid down his boxers. Callie didn't know what Brandon was showing her other then her penis.

"You and Wyatt are the same size" said Callie.

"You've seen Wyatt naked?" asked Brandon.

"Dude I ran away with him of course I saw him naked" said Callie.

"Ok and what about Liam, we bigger?" asked Brandon.

Callie flinched at the causal use of his name and her immediate reaction was to hurt Brandon.

"No he's bigger" said Callie cringing at the memories.

"What come on he has to be smaller!" demanded Brandon.

Callie's head was starting to hurt and she wanted to be done with this.

"What the heck do you want me to see hurry up before I tell mom's you flashed me you perv" snapped Callie.

Brandon was caught of guard by her sudden outburst.

"Uh look closer" said Brandon.

Callie did and noticed two horizontally placed metal balls on the head of his penis.

Callie's annoyance turned to surprise.

"You got a piercing?" asked Callie.

Brandon saw the look on Callie's face.

"Yes...are you laughing?" asked Brandon.

"Dude you have a Frankenstein dick!" laughed Callie.

"Shut up" said Brandon.

"Paint it green and call it Frankenstein's little monster" laughed Callie.

Brandon waited a few minutes as Callie laughed again.

"Ok are you done yet? asked Brandon.

"Frankindick!" laughed Callie.

"I'm so glad your enjoying this" replied Brandon sarcastically.

"Just remember Frankenstein's monster like fire!" Squealed Callie in between laughs.

"I need you to be serious" said Brandon indigently

"Oh come on B this is the best laugh I had in a while" said Callie with a smile.

"I didn't do this for you, I did it for Alice" said Brandon.

Callie had been laughing so hard she started coughing a minute later.

"You got a penis piercing for your girlfriend?" asked Callie.

"It's called an ampferlang, Alice had been thinking about getting a more intimate piercing and I agreed to get one to, I thought I could get away with a nipple piercing but after convincing her to get a clitoral hood piercing she somehow talked me into this and it takes the longest to heal" explained Brandon.

"You don't deserve her" said Callie annoyed again.

"What?" asked Brandon confused.

"You thought you could get away with a small piercing while convincing your girlfriend to get a big one, your a fucking asshole" declared Callie.

"I never wanted one!" said Brandon.

"Then you should have told her that you idiot, you have 2 problems Brandon, you have a hero complex that compels you seek out broken girls and try to fix them like Lou and I and then you also have a self pitying sabotage thing going on which you use to ruin relationships like you did Talya and now Alice, your going to use this piercing thing on her one day to break up with her, you make me sick" declared Callie.

Brandon was going to respond but he simply watched as Callie rolled out of the kitchen.


Interesting fact 22

Alex Saxon who plays Wyatt in the Fosters was also in Coin Heist, Finding Carter, The Mentalist, and The Olivia Experiment