A/N: Some readers who have come to this story quite late in the peace have asked for access to the outtakes. These are available via my profile and have their own section where my stories are listed.

Thank you to those who have written to me recently to ask if all is well. I apologise for the delays in uploading. A small family holiday (much needed break in light of our current situation) and all the medical appointments Mr Maxi is still having to attend has sapped my time and energy of late.

But, after a few nice days in the sun I feel energised and ready to finish this sucker! (pun intended...you know, vampire stories and all...)


Chapter 48 – Continental Shift

Carlisle POV

I did the best I could to console my wife over the following few days since Edward and Bella's announced their intention to find a home of their own after their wedding.

I wanted so badly for them to stay but knew that if they wanted to be whole, truly whole, that they had to do this for themselves.

It was purely selfish need on my behalf that made me want them here. Esme, usually so serene and full of life and energy, was crushed by their declaration of independence and there was nothing I could do for her to take that pain away.

I felt the same but could not show it. Especially not to her.

I had to be strong enough for the both of us and get us through this next phase of our life together. It had been a long time coming and there had been times when I'd wished for it to hurry up, but not so now.

Now that my home was filled with laughter again, and the train wreck that small children brought with them into your life, I found myself loving it more and more.

I'd once thought that a quiet, almost boring life after all our children had flown the nest would suit us, but I could see now that this was not going to be the case. I would miss the mess. I would miss the noise. I was loath to admit that I would also miss the children.

Emmett would soon be turning thirty so it had been thirty long years since Esme and I had any true privacy. It had taken us both a while to come to terms with that loss but the children had been such a blessing that after a little while we found ourselves missing the bedlam when they weren't in the house. I'd coveted that silence once, dreamt of the day where I'd have her all to myself as it had been in the early days of our marriage, but not now.

It still felt too soon to lose them all.

Hell, I knew we weren't actually losing them. Emmett and Rosie had left years ago, Alice not long after, but Edward...ah, dear Edward was different. He'd stayed and made his life here with us.

And his new family had joined him, and us. The hole they would leave when they made their way into the world would cause ripples for a very, very long time.

Emmett was the strongest of my three children. Always very sure of his path, never stopping until he had what he wanted, both good and bad. Rose was very similar; if less strident in her attainment of whatever goal she reached for. Emmett was headstrong, even more so than Edward, and saw life as a very simple equation. He loved and was loved. If he did no wrong to anyone he expected to wrong to be done to him and so far it had worked for him. He was universally loved and respected in both his private life and his professional one. He worked hard and played harder. He never really did grow up but it was something I loved about him, even envied a little, rather than worried about.

He was with his son the way I'd wanted to be with him. Carefree, fun loving and yet firm and strict too. He'd managed the balance I'd searched for for decades and he made it look easy.

Alice was more like her mother. Flighty and given to bouts of frivolous artistic endeavour. She was as creative as Emmett was strong. She'd always hummed at a higher frequency than the others, never stopping for breath sometimes. She'd been good for Bella in that way. She managed to inject fun and a heightened sense of entertainment in all that she did and it was lovely to watch Bella soak it up whenever the two were near.

Jasper had calmed Alice somewhat without stamping out her thirst for life. He was a nice lad. Very serious, very studious. He took his job seriously and my daughter even more seriously than that. I had no doubt whatsoever that he'd die to protect her, and in turn their unborn child. They were polar opposites and that's why they worked so well.

It was the same with Edward and Bella. He was a control freak hell bent on giving her whatever her heart desired while she was quite reserved and asked for nothing. She was contemplative where he was impulsive. She was demure where he could sometimes be pig headed and brash. And yet it worked. As flawlessly as Alice and Jasper did.

Anyone who knew them, and probably many who didn't, could see that they were desperately in love with one another. They were like magnets. If one moved the other mirrored it. If one stilled the other moved towards them and stilled too.

Bella had calmed him as nobody else could. With a single word, a single touch, he'd let go of whatever he'd been ranting about and would sit and let her speak. Sometimes that led to trouble and they would fight, but I'd be more concerned if they didn't.

She deferred to him in all things, which could sometimes feed his controlling ways. But if it was something Bella was passionate about, or felt strongly enough about to go against him on, she'd give as good as she got. I'd watched many times as the wedding plans were made where Edward would assume to know what Bella wanted only to be pulled aside and set straight.

She had no fear of him. She never cowered. She never backed away from him as she had done me and other males at first. She never shied away and she never, ever let him have his own way to stop him pouting or from throwing a tantrum.

Sure she lost her temper plenty, they both did, but they were both very good at apologising and coming to some agreement that would settle whatever the argument had been about in the first place.

This I put down to Kerry's influence.

I hadn't lied to Edward that day in the hospital when I told him I'd be checking in with the psychologist to see how they were both progressing, and I had. Infrequently as time went on. I learned, without details, that Kerry was helping them to communicate better without the benefit of physical release.

She'd told me that with most modern couples she would advise them never to go to bed angry. To use their physical desire to help prevent major blow ups and to siphon off some of their unused energies.

I knew for a fact that Edward was frustrated and both Esme and Alice had hinted that Bella was the same. It had to be hard for them, both wanting to consummate what they'd waited so long for, but I knew that neither would be swayed from their current path.

Edward had made it clear that they'd wait. I was proud of him for that.

Of course they were both adults and had they decided not to wait I'd have been alright with that too. I wasn't a prude; I knew that the others had slept together before they married. But these two were different.

I knew neither of them had been chaste prior to coming together, after all Bella had been married and had a child and while Edward had never been serious about another girl I knew that he'd indulged. But now that they'd finally found each other it was as if they'd decided that waiting would be worth it in the long run. They'd waited this long, after all, a few more months wouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things. At least I hoped it wouldn't. The sexual tension – and its ever accompanying frustrations – were a constant source of anxiety for them both.

This wasn't just some crush for him, or for her. They were building the foundations of a future together and they were doing it with some considerable class.

Their abstinence had caused a few problems and not just for them either. Gratuitous displays of affection were somewhat taboo in my home as of late. Gone were my early morning fumblings at the kitchen counter with Esme before I went to work. My lazy Sunday morning lie in's were also decidedly less blue since Bella had come to live with us.

Nobody wanted to flaunt their happiness, physical happiness anyway, in front of the two frustrated non-lovers in the house. Edward paced more. Bella sighed more often. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose often while Bella retreated to her rooms if any of us were overly too familiar with our partners around them.

They were certainly going to have their hands full with an instant family, and not just Edward. He'd taken to being a father to Elizabeth so easily, which was something I was immensely proud of. But now they'd included Joshua and while I was pleased for them I couldn't help wondering how they would fare without Esme to rely on.

I remembered the early years with small children. Of course we had two boys and that was a whole other world away from one girl and one boy. Had we just been blessed with Alice and Edward, or Alice and Emmett, our lives would've been different, I was sure. But those two boys raised hell for the first six years or so. Alice, with all her exuberance and energy seemed like a breath of fresh air after years of diecast cars, water pistol fights and the wrestling that never seemed too far from where my two boys were.

Bella and Edward would enjoy the children, I had no doubt, but it wasn't going to be easy at all. Even with perfectly behaved children – and I'd yet to meet any of those – it was going to be hard at times. Of course we'd always be there for them and I was under no illusion that Esme would be called on quite often at the beginning to help them sort out one problem or another, but I knew they'd be fine in the end.

Edward was different with the children in his life. Joshua had only been with us – as a permanent arrangement rather than for a visit – for twelve hours and already Edward was changed. More serious. More adult.

I saw the first stirrings of this change when Bella had been admitted to the hospital and it had been left to Edward to arrange things for Elizabeth's care. He hadn't wanted to relinquish her even to his own mother and I knew then that he'd love that baby as his own. It was the same with Joshua. I'd never questioned his attachment to the little fellow and as the weeks wore on, and the process dragged on, Edward became more and more determined to be a father to Joshua as well.

Now that he was here it would be interesting to watch the transformation that my family was to undertake. I had no doubt that it would make us better, stronger, closer.

I could only hope that Esme and I weren't forgotten in the process.

EPOV

"I'll take him for his bath, you bath Elizabeth down here," I told Bella when the subject of where Josh was to sleep and just how to get them both bathed and into pyjamas was raised.

She bit her lip but agreed in the end. I knew she wanted to mother Joshua, especially on his first night with us, but it wasn't practical and I wanted to be involved as much as I could.

I knew that the day to day 'taking care of the children' would fall to Bella because I had to work, but while I could I wanted to do as much as I could.

Angus huffed and whined when Rosie took him home before bath time. The two little boys loved bathing together, even if cleaning the water off the ceiling and the drips from the walls wasn't my favourite part of their cleaning fun. Josh said a serious goodbye to both Rosie and Emmett and then a tearful one to his best friend before hugging Alice and Jasper a little more cautiously.

I took him to my bathroom on the first floor and showed him where everything that he could need was. He had no qualms about undressing in front of me and he was soon ensconced in the tub happily playing with the shampoo bottle, despite it being half full only minutes ago it was now empty and he was squirting plain water out of the hole in the top up the wall and onto the floor beside the tub.

I sighed. They were going to be a lot of work but I was up for the job. Totally.

I dried him and had him into his Shrek pyjamas and back down into Bella's rooms before she had Elizabeth into her sleep suit so the two of us sat on the sofa and watched television for a few moments while we waited.

He chuckled at the Simpsons over and over and when Bella came out of the nursery with Elizabeth they too joined us on the sofa.

Bella fed the baby while Joshua sat beside her, one hand on Elizabeth's belly, like he always did. When the baby fell asleep he kissed her softly on her cheek before calling a quiet goodnight to her.

Now we just had to work out where he was going to sleep tonight.

Tomorrow we'd rearrange my rooms and the four of us would move up there. It was the only logical solution. Bella's rooms might be fresher, more modern, but I had three rooms and a lot more space. So we'd agreed to shuffle everything up to there and sort out some things for Joshua tomorrow when the shops opened.

Alice had agreed to shop with Bella as I had to be at the clinic and while I was disappointed that I'd miss it I wasn't envious of Bella at all. Shopping with my sister was torturous.

I'd begged them both, Alice and Bella, to wait until the weekend so I could go too but in the end my mother made a very good point and I'd had to give in. She was worried that if we spent a whole week with only temporary things for Josh he might start to think that him living with us was only temporary too.

So we'd made a big song and dance about the shopping trip tomorrow and told him he could choose what he wanted for himself. He was so excited about it and so were the girls.

But for tonight? It was going to be strange for him and we didn't want him to be scared in the night if we put him upstairs in my bed while we slept downstairs, so in the end we decided we'd make him a bed on the sofa in Bella's rooms.

We made a big song and dance about that too, making it out to be a big game, a sleep over. We both tucked him in and promised we wouldn't leave the room when he asked us not to. It was still early and neither Bella nor I were ready for bed so we laid on it and read instead. Josh was soon snuffling softly just like Elizabeth did.

Bella checked on him a few times and I added another blanket to him before we got into our bed for real.

I held Bella close and did my best not to press myself up against her too much. It was, as always, a losing battle and we woke in the same position we always did. Me humping her leg and her grinding her hips with each thrust I made.

It wasn't embarrassing anymore. It was what it was. I wanted her, she wanted me, we just had to wait two more weeks.

BPOV

Waking up on my new sons very first day with us was bitter sweet.

We finally had him and he was allowed to stay with us, but it all felt very temporary still. He seemed totally at ease with us but it would take a little time for us to get used to having him with us permanently.

I was up for the task and I knew Edward was too, but our lives had changed so quickly it felt as though I'd been sucked up into a twister and when I was finally set down I'd assumed someone else's life.

Elizabeth woke early and while I fed and changed her Edward straightened the bed and showered. By the time I had Elizabeth under control Josh was awake and asking for his breakfast.

I set Elizabeth into her little rocker chair and Josh into a seat beside her in the breakfast nook and worked as fast as I could to put a meal in front of the hungry little man. He ate with real gusto and I was pleased to see that he finished everything I offered him.

Edward looked reluctant to head off to the clinic and held me longer than normal on the front steps before dragging himself away. I didn't have too much time to worry about him leaving us because Joshua demanded my attention completely.

He was full of life and fun and questions that morning.

Could he have a car shaped bed like Angus? Would he and Elizabeth share a room? Could he give her her bottle later? Where did Carlisle sleep if the room up the stairs was Esme's? Was he allowed to swim whenever he wanted to now?

Esme and Carlisle joined us soon after Edward went to work so Josh sat alongside Carlisle and asked another million questions about his work and the hospital and all the people he knew from there. At first I worried that it was bothering Carlisle, knowing how much he liked to just sit and read the newspaper at breakfast, but it soon became apparent that he liked the attention.

"Maybe momma Bella will bring you to visit me at the hospital one day?" he asked Joshua while staring at me. I nodded and said that I would. "Then you could meet some of the people I help. They'd love to meet you. They get a bit lonely in the cardiac ward because they get very tired very fast and can't have too many visitors for too long."

Josh tipped his head to one side as he pondered what Carlisle had said. "My other mommy got real tired real fast too. You won't get tired will you, momma Bella?"

I smiled as wide as I could. "Nope. I won't get real tired," I promised.

He'd already lost so much. It wasn't fair that his mother had to die just so I could have him and it certainly wasn't ideal that someone other than his own mother raised him, but what was done was done now.

He seemed content with my assurance and went back to pestering Carlisle. I cleaned the kitchen then took both the children to my rooms to get them ready for our shopping expedition. Alice had promised to be with us by nine so we'd get a good go at the shops before the children were too worn out and cranky so I only had a little time to make sure I had everything I'd need while we were out.

Emmett had already sorted out a temporary car booster seat for Josh and he and Jasper had already installed it in my car so all I had to do was make sure I had enough made up bottles, diapers and spare clothes for Elizabeth and snacks and drinks for Josh. I'd only just gotten all their things into the nappy bag when Alice arrived.

She bounced and giggled and clapped her hands as though we were heading off on some amazing expedition, not just to the furniture outfitters.

EPOV

A text from Bella at midday made me thank my lucky stars that I had to work today.

She was probably joking when she said she needed rescuing from the shopping nazi, but behind the joke would've been a real plea for help. I'd shopped with my sister before, I knew the terror of being dragged from one end of town to another to find just the right 'this' or 'that'. I didn't envy Bella, or the children, one bit.

My day went surprisingly slowly. I had a full patient list plus a couple of walk ins so it was lunchtime before I had my first break. My collegues came and went through the tea room as they took their chances for fresh coffee or to grab a bite to eat but I was pleased to have a few extra minutes with Steve before he too had to go back to work.

I told him all about Joshua and how it had come about that we now had him with us. I accepted his congratulations and laughed and joked with him about turning into an old family man.

I got two more texts from Bella before the day was through and each of them made me long for her and the children more than I already did.

When the clinic closed for the day I headed to my car with a spring in my step.

The sight that greeted me when I got home was one of utter destruction. Packing crates lined the driveway and there was bubble wrap and discarded plastic as far as the eye could see.

I wasn't at all surprised to see Emmett and Jasper's cars in the drive, parked alongside Alice' and Rosie's. I knew that everyone would be enlisted to make the room shuffle happen in quick time.

I called my hello loudly into the foyer but knew I'd not been heard. The noise from Bella's rooms, coupled with the noise from my rooms upstairs, was deafening. There was music playing somewhere too.

I left my backpack at the foot of the stairs and headed on up to see what my sister and mother had devised in my rooms. The wanton destruction there was as bad as it was outside.

In the hall were box after box of my beloved books. Each box was marked though, which would make it easier to find something if I wanted to, but seeing them there really brought home to me to size of the change my life was undergoing. I was a father, twice over.

More boxes stood against the door when I went into the sitting room. My piano had once again been shoved up against a wall and looked forlorn and neglected where it now stood. It had been weeks since I'd even opened it!

I was pleased to see that new furniture hadn't been bought for me and that my two, worn and much used sofas still sat in the room. Gone though were my things from the cabinet tops. My globe, chess set, high school trophies and even the remote controls for my TV and stereo equipment were gone.

It made sense. With two small children in the rooms all those sorts of things would need to be put out of reach so I wasn't worried, or bothered, at the changes I could see.

Where my television used to sit there was a small wooden table and chairs, child sized ones, with a small two-tiered bookshelf beside it. There were colouring books and pencils on the little table and the bookshelf housed dozens of children's books. This was Joshua's space now.

There was a tub overflowing with Lego and another held hundreds of die cast cars and tractors. There were farm animals and little plastic soldiers in another and the last one held moulded dinosaurs and zoo animals.

My television had been replaced with Bella's larger, newer one and now stood on a higher cabinet at the other end of the room. The remote controls were all in a wicker basket on a higher shelf alongside children's DVD's and a mixture of hers and my old collection. The choices looked random. It wouldn't matter anyway. In ten days we'd be married and between now and then there would be no time for lying on the sofa watching movies, not if my mother and Alice had anything to say about it anyway.

My desk was the same desk but gone from its surface were my stacks of patient files and the mountain of paperwork that usually lived in a haphazard pile to one side. Instead there was a neat two drawer filing cabinet in the same timber finish as the desk. A lock had been added to the drawer and I assumed that all my pens and pencils were stashed inside it safe from little hands.

"Do you like it?" I heard her voice before I saw her.

I turned to find her leaning against the doorframe that led to what used to be my bedroom, a look of apprehension on her beautiful face.

"Will you be spending time with me up here?" I asked, trying to keep a modest concerned look on mine.

"Of course," she replied.

"Then it's perfect," I told her as I pulled her to me.

I kissed her firmly and held her a little longer but we were soon interrupted by Alice and mom as they came out of the bedroom with yet more boxes. I let Bella go and took the one from my mother – more books – and asked what else I could help with.

"Just the boxes," she called over her shoulder as she went back into my room.

I stowed my heavy load with the others and went into my bedroom. It didn't look very different though there were things missing from here too. Gone were my mismatched beside tables and Bella's perfect pair stood on either side of the bed. New drapes and a new comforter adorned the bed. Her lamps, cordless telephone and the rug from the floor beside her bed were also there. Which meant mine were gone now, relegated to either her old room which would once again become the guest room, or they were gone gone, actually gone.

The shelves had been cleared of any small items and my cd's had been taken to higher ground too. A tall wardrobe stood beside my built in closet and on top of it was Bella's duffle bag and her box of belongings that we'd rescued when we collected Elizabeth.

"Edward, Edward, Edward!" Joshua called as he barrelled out of the next room and straight into me. I scooped him up and held him high above me.

"What's going on little man?" I asked playfully.

"Come and see my new room!" he shouted excitedly as I tossed him over my shoulder and walked towards what used to be Elizabeth's nursery.

I put him down and let him tug my hand towards his new bed. It was indeed a car shape and it had a Shrek comforter and a myriad of stuffed toys from both the Cars movie and Shrek.

"Wow, you did well," I laughed as he began to show me each of the characters that adorned his comforter.

"Alice bought me the quilt and the Shrek toys but momma Bella bought me the Cars stuff. Look, I've even got my own shelf to put my robot on."

He pointed to the small timber shelf that was about three feet of the floor and stuck out over the top of his bed. On it were his most precious belongings. His robot held pride of place right at the front of the shelf, but there were other significant things there too. The original pile of Lego bricks he'd been admitted to hospital with. The two small books he'd had long before I knew him and his Shrek ears from the movie night. On the very end of the shelf was a pair of photo frames that hinged in the middle and opened like a book.

On the left was a picture of a woman I didn't know but assumed was his actual mother, and in the other side was a picture of the four of us that had been taken the night he'd stayed for dinner.

"You look all set," I told him. "Do you like it up here?"

"It's great. I've been practising my inside voice for when Izzy is asleep and momma Bella says I'm allowed to sit with you when you play piano, but not touch it unless you are there too," he told me seriously.

I smiled over his head at Bella who had a dreamy look on her face as she watched us. "Do you want to sit with me while I play?" I asked.

He chewed the inside of his lip, just like Bella did sometimes, and then tilted his head to one side. "My other mommy used to play when I was real little. Can you play twinkle twinkle?" he asked with a serious face.

I wanted to smile at the childish request but knew that I shouldn't. If his mother played it for him he would remember it always and I didn't want to make fun of that. "Sure, I know twinkle twinkle. I could teach you to play it too you know."

His eyes got so big I thought they were going to pop out of his face. "I promise I won't break your piano Edward," he said seriously.

"I never thought you would. Come on then, while Elizabeth is awake we'll have our first lesson," I pulled him up off his bed and tossed him back over my shoulder. I went to where Elizabeth was lying in a streak of sunshine on a blanket and lowered Joshua to the ground beside her. I leaned over and kissed Elizabeth's hair and told her hello and waited while Josh did the same even though he'd spent all day with her.

Esme and Alice sighed as they watched our two children together. It was obvious how much Joshua cared about Elizabeth. He was very careful with her.

I stood but Josh wasn't done. "Don't cry if it's loud Izzy. Or if I get it wrong, I'm only four and a half," he told her before rising to his feet and reaching for my hand again.

I knew if I turned and looked at Bella and Alice one or both of them – probably my mother too - would have tears streaming down their faces. I didn't want Josh to think he'd done anything wrong so I didn't turn, but as soon as we were both through the doorway and heading back through the bedroom I heard one of them sniffle.

I pulled the piano bench out from under the keyboard and sat on it then patted the space I'd left beside me for Josh. He sat very still, his back dead straight and listened hard as I tried to explain to him that my piano wasn't a toy. He looked very serious as he watched my hands move up and down the scales. I began to play his requested tune and he clapped his hands and shouted 'that's the one my mommy did' over and over as I played it through three times from start to finish.

He wasn't to know that the tune was simplicity itself for me but I was happy that he remembered it and that it hadn't upset him to hear it.

I reached my right arm around him and took his hands in mine and placed them on the correct keys to begin the tune. I asked him to keep them there then put mine on the same keys in a lower register further down the keyboard.

As I pressed a key he copied me. When we'd each played the first five notes one after the other, like an echo, I began to join two notes together and then asked him to copy those. He did so without a problem. Three notes in a row posed no problem either so we tried for four. He stumbled only once before self correcting and playing the four notes in the correct order. He was going to be a natural.

BPOV

Esme was hopeless at hiding her tears and Alice wasn't much better.

They peaked round the door to watch as Edward took his son to the piano for the first time. I tried to hang back and just listen, knowing that if I saw what the other two did I'd likely fall in a heap sobbing too.

Edward was patient with him and even though the tune wasn't simple the way Edward was playing it Josh picked it up right away. His soft giggle of delight when he played the first few notes without making a mistake made my heart soar with happiness.

I continued to fold his new clothing but my attention really was engaged in what was going on in the other room. Alice and Esme sighed a few times but soon returned to help me.

Esme squeezed my wrist when she came back to help and Alice rubbed her tiny baby bump longingly.

Elizabeth kicked and gurgled in the sun and I looked down at her in wonder. She was so perfect, so content, such a happy baby. I hoped she would never resent us bringing Joshua into the family and making her have to share our attention. For now she was oblivious.

"Where would you like to put his socks?" Esme asked.

"In the bottom drawer where he can reach them himself," I instructed.

It wasn't long before the room was in some sort of order. I worried about them sharing the same room – I didn't want Elizabeth to wake Josh in the night and I didn't want Josh to wake Elizabeth in the mornings – but figured we didn't have much choice right now.

Esme excused herself to go and begin dinner and Alice left soon after. She hugged me hard and said she'd see me the next day because we had to take Josh to town to have him fitted for a suit for the wedding.

I was only guessing but I thought that Esme was upset about the idea of us leaving after the wedding. I thought she'd be pleased to have her house back, but it didn't seem that way at all. She'd been crying when she came downstairs last night after Edward and I had told her we were going to look for a home of our own. She looked as though she'd been crying when she came downstairs this morning too.

She'd been her usual bubbly self while we shopped, and here at home now she was the Esme I'd always known, but there was something just under the surface that was bothering her.

I think I knew what it was and I think it was what was bothering me too.

I didn't know if I was ready to have a home of my own. I didn't know if I could cope with Elizabeth on my own and now we had Josh too. I wasn't sure I could be the kind of wife Edward wanted and needed just yet either. He'd go off to work each day and want to come home to happy children, a clean home and dinner on the table. I knew how to do that but didn't know if I could pull it off.

Elizabeth was fairly easy. She ate, slept and played for a few hours a day. She made little mess other than her washing which was easily handled.

Joshua was going to need my attention a lot during the day. He'd want to be played with, taught, disciplined and loved. He'd make mess and I'd have to clean it all up. He'd want to spend time with Angus and Rosie and the others too, and I'd be the one who'd have to take him or have the house tidy enough for them to visit us.

I'd have to cook and clean in the house and I'd have to shop for the groceries, take the children to appointments if they needed them, and keep the household ticking over. Were there enough hours in the day to get it all accomplished? Was I going to be any good at it?

And then there was Edward.

Right now he needed very little from me. I just needed to be here when he came home. He'd told me over and over that that was all he wanted. For me to be here when he came home. It was easily accomplished right now because I had few responsibilities other than Elizabeth, and now Joshua. But when we had a home of our own would there be time for Edward too?

He'd want to spend time with the children after being away from them all day and while that would free me up to get a few chores done of an afternoon and early evening, would there be any energy or time left for me to spend time with Edward?

Was I ready for this? Were we ready for this?

Could I do this without Esme's help? Was it stupid and naive to think I could?

"What is it, love?"

I heard the voice and snapped out of my thoughts quite startled. Edward stood in the doorway of the children's bedroom, worry on his face.

I ran to him, flinging the new t-shirt I had in my hands onto Joshua's new bed as I ran. I threw myself at him and clung to him as his arms went around me. I felt his kiss on my hair and hugged harder.

"Hey, what's all this about?" he asked.

My tears came even though I tried so hard to suppress them. I couldn't even truly explain why I'm crying, but I am. Great big, fat tears.

"I don't know, I don't know what this is," I hedged through sobs.

He holds me. Just holds me. He moves us, never breaking the embrace, and pushes and pulls me until we're sitting on the bed. He still holds me. Murmuring how much he loves me. How much he wants me. How happy he is to have us all. I nod and know it's the truth. I know this about him. He doesn't lie, ever, not to me.

"I know it's scary but we can do this baby, we can do this," he assures me.

Somewhere deep down he knows what I'm frightened of. He knows that it's overwhelming for me because it's the same for him. This is all so new for us, both of us, and sometimes it's too much.

"I don't know if I can be alone with them," I tell him.

I keep my eyes hidden from him. I don't want to lift my chin and have him see the doubt on my face. I want him to think this is all going to be easy, that we'd get what we want so easily.

He's not having it though. Like so many times before he won't let me hide from him. He lets me have my way with the others and he stands aside when I try to blend into the background, but not with him.

He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my reluctant eyes to his. "I love you, you won't be alone, I love you," he tells me firmly.

Is that enough? That he loves me? It's going to have to be. I can't live without him, I won't live without him and I need him. The three of us need him.

"I'm scared," I tell him in a childlike voice. Right in that moment I do feel like a child.

I feel like the day I went off to high school. I feel the same fear I did then. Will anyone like me? Can I hide these bruises from new people? Will anyone notice that I don't eat, that I'm not given enough grocery money to make it stretch to lunches? Will they hate me because I'm not allowed to mix with them after school?

I feel just like that now. Only the goal posts have been moved. Instead of fear of my peers I feel fear about letting my new family down.

What if I can't care for two children on my own? What if I can't keep a house clean? What if I can't feed them right? What if they get sick? What if Edward loses interest in me and I can't live up to the ideal he surely has of me?

His voice breaks through my silent meanders through my fears. "I'm scared too. You've got no idea how scared I really am. I've only just found you for myself and now I have to share you with the baby and now a son and I haven't even really had you for myself yet. I know that's selfish but I'm scared Bella. Scared you'll hate having to take care of two kids all day while I work. Scared you'll get sick of keeping me in line. Scared you'll finally see what a childish, selfish motherfucker I really am once we're married."

I had to laugh. I couldn't help it. He looked shocked that I'd laugh at his heartfelt words, but I did.

"Oh Edward!" I laughed. "You aren't childish and you aren't selfish and I don't even want to know why you think you're a motherfucker, but you aren't," I tell him between laughing sobs. "I'm scared of the same things but I didn't know you were too."

He laughs then too and the tension between us melts away, like it always does once we've waded through those first few tense moments before we spill our collective guts. "Of course I'm scared. I've never been anyone's father before and never a husband. How do you know I'm not going to completely fuck these two perfect kids up? I could you know. Quite easily. I'll either spoil them or neglect them," he says with barely concealed worry.

"You won't," I tell him sternly. "You won't neglect them. I know you won't. You might spoil them, actually you probably will spoil them, but that's okay within reason. And you'll be a great dad. Elizabeth adores you and so does Joshua, already, and he did long before he came to live with us. And even though you've never been a husband before I've never truly been a wife either, so we'll learn that together."

His smile is angelic. He kisses me softly on the lips then draws back a little. "It was supposed to be me telling you that you'll be okay and here you are trying to convince me that I will be. We're a pair, aren't we?" he laughed and I nodded. "Look, this isn't going to be easy, or simple. It never was going to be, even before we added Josh into the mix. But we can do this. I want to do this, with you. And even though you think I'm not selfish I really am. Completely and utterly selfish because I want more. I want more than I've already got, which should be enough for anyone. But I want more Bella. I want you as my wife. I want these two babies and I want more of them. I want us to have more children one day Bella. I'll work until I'm seventy if I have to, but I want that with you."

All I could do was stare up at him. We'd never talked about that, having more children, and I guess it was stupid to agree to get married without having at least tried to find out his thoughts on it. Until I heard him say it I didn't know, within myself, that I wanted more babies too. But most of all I wanted Edward's babies. "I want that too, but not now," I giggled.

He pulled me to him then and kissed my hair again. "No, not now," he laughed. "Let's get ourselves married and settled somewhere with these two and then what will be will be hey?"

"Are you sure we can do this Edward? Really sure? What if I can't keep up with them both?"

"Then I'll help more. Or mom will, or Alice or Rose or the boys even...don't forget you have a step mom too and I know for a fact she'd love to get her hands on these little ones. And your dad and Seth and god knows how many aunts and uncles and cousins you've actually got down there on the Rez, love. There's Angela and Ben and everyone at the church as well as everyone we know at the hospital and the clinic too. There are heaps of people around to help us. And I mean us. These children aren't just yours now love, they're ours. Yes I have to go to work, but that's only for eight hours a day, nine if you count lunch and the drive to and from, so that leaves me fifteen hours every day to help you with them. I know it's not going to be simple and I know we'll probably make each other crazy until we get it into some sort of routine but this is what I want. You're what I want. Those children are what I want."

He sounded so sure all of a sudden and I couldn't deny what he'd said. There were plenty of people who'd help. I knew that. In my brain I knew that. But knowing it and actually asking for that help were two different things.

EPOV

She was scared and I was so relieved.

Up until the moment I'd seen her staring into space I thought I was the only one who was. But she was too and I was relieved.

I had no illusions about what I'd set myself up for, all I could hope was that I'd be able to pull it off.

"Come on," I told her with one more kiss to her hair. "Mom's got dinner nearly ready and you know she gets pissy if we're late."

She giggled adorably and pulled herself from my embrace. "All I want is you and those children too Edward," she whispered as she ran her hand through my hair.

I sighed; it was involuntary when she touched me like that. "Then we're lucky we both want the same things then. Let's go."

"I won't hear it Edward. I'm not asking you, I'm begging you."

My mother stood, in full furious flight, in my office at the clinic with one hand on her hip and the other waving two airline tickets at me violently.

She'd made an appointment to see me and everything. She'd been trying to corner me about the honeymoon for three weeks and so far I'd been good at dodging her efforts. But she'd got me good by making an actual legitimate appointment to see me at the clinic and I couldn't refuse her.

"I'm not saying we can't go on a honeymoon, mom," I all but sneered. "I'm saying I don't want to go that far away and I don't want you to have to look after a baby and a four year old while we do."

She sighed, no, she huffed and threw the tickets onto my desk in front of me. Then she sat herself down in the patients chair and put her hands into her lap. "Edward, sweetheart..." she began softly. "Take her away for a week. Show her a good time. Show her what she means to you. Show her what it means to be married to someone you love. She's never known that. She's never had any fun, real fun, and you have this chance and you should take it."

I turned the tickets over and stared at the writing on them. I wanted to do it, I really did, but I knew Bella would hate to leave her babies behind while we went away for a good time. I wasn't so sure about doing that either, but I wanted some time alone with her. It might be the one and only chance we ever get. I turned the tickets over again so I couldn't read the destination and couldn't feel the tug I felt towards them.

"Tell me how it would work," I said simply.

To her credit she didn't jump and clap her hands like Alice would have she just sat calmly and told me how the family planned to give us this time.

I had to listen carefully to all the plans that had been made because it was exactly how I was going to have to convince Bella to do this with me. Every last detail needed to be perfect or she wouldn't go. I knew that about her. She was very responsible and hated leaving the children with anyone for anything. This was going to need to be a hard sell.

BPOV

"Come on Bella, there's only two days to go and there is still a lot to do," Alice whined as we trudged through the mall again.

"Alice we aren't going that far and I don't need new bathers because I don't plan to swim," I said firmly.

We were getting married in two days time and we'd spend our wedding night in a hotel in Port Angeles and then we'd go home, to the Cullen house, and begin our lives as husband and wife. It was pretty simple. I didn't need 'honeymoon' clothes because we weren't going on one. I didn't need new bathers because I didn't plan to swim, and if I did I'd do it in the privacy of the pool at the house, not in public. I didn't need lingerie because underwear was fine. I didn't need makeup because I didn't wear it, ever. So this whole shopping trip was a useless waste of money and I hated it.

She rounded on me then, startling me out of my daydreaming. With a pointed finger jabbing at my chest she let me have it.

"Okay, I promised them I wouldn't say anything but I've had it. Mom and dad have paid for the airline tickets and the rest of us chipped in and paid for the accommodation and the activities. You ARE going on a honeymoon and you WILL swim. You WILL need makeup to go out in the evenings and you WILL need lingerie because you're going to be a bride and brides wear lingerie on their honeymoons."

I knew my mouth was gaping but I couldn't stop it from hanging open. "I can't go on a honeymoon Alice, I've got two children to look after!" I shouted, not caring who heard or saw us.

Her face softened then. "Okay Bella look. We knew you wouldn't want to leave them and I get that, we get that, truly we do. But we want you and Edward to have a proper wedding and proper weddings have honeymoons. You've never been alone with him, not properly, and we all want the two of you to have a chance to start your life together properly. You can be angry with us and you can rant and rave and you can shout and call us interfering if you want, and you'd probably have a point, but you both need this. You should want this Bella, I know Edward wants this."

I stared at her then. Not knowing if that was the truth and unable to ask. He hadn't said anything to me at all about wanting to go away and he certainly hadn't said anything about tickets and holiday plans. And then I knew. This was all the families doing. He either didn't know about it yet or he'd declined the offer.

"Give me a minute," I told Alice, raising my finger at her to let her know that I was serious. She nodded and stepped away and took the handle of the pusher and Joshua's hand.

I paced. The lazy figure of eight. Right there in the food court of the mall I paced.

Time alone with Edward. Edward all to myself. No children, no diapers, no feeding schedules and no therapy sessions. No family and no interruptions. Just the two of us for a few days. It sounded like heaven to me. I felt guilty for that, for wishing for time away from my babies, but I wanted it. I really wanted it.

Alice had said that Edward wanted it too. He hadn't told me that, but he might not know about this seeing as Alice said it was a surprise.

Elizabeth was too young to remember me leaving and she wouldn't know the difference between a few hours and a few days, so I guessed I could leave her for a bit. Esme, and Alice and Rosie, would take good care of her. They had while I was in hospital and I knew they would this time too. But Joshua? Would he think we were abandoning him? Would he trust that we'd come back?

I didn't know the answer to that.

I moved back towards Alice and stood right beside her and spoke quite quietly so I wouldn't be heard by Josh. "Alright Alice. On one condition. Edward and I will talk to Joshua, if he doesn't mind us going we'll go, but if he does have a problem with it we won't go, or we'll take the children with us. Take it or leave it."

"Deal," she whispered and held out her hand.

I shook it and couldn't help but giggle at her expression. She looked supremely confident.

"So, what do I need to take with me then?" I asked. I had no idea where we were going and no idea what I'd need to take with me.

"Never fear soon-to-be-Mrs-Cullen, I know just where to get what you need," she said as she tugged my sleeve and pulled me through the mall.


A/N: Thank you for reading.

Next chapter (apart from the 'talk' about the honeymoon) will be the wedding. I have two versions of it, the long soppy version where everything is described to within an inch of its life...or the 'i do' followed by the fun of the reception.

I will leave it up to the reviewers to decide. Vote either for slow and soppy or fast and fun and whichever side of the debate has the most votes wins.

I'll leave it with you.

Please review.