Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. It was supposed to be longer but time caught up with me. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
I have posted a poll on my profile page along with three ideas. I can't currently decide which one to do. Don't forget to vote and choose your favourite one. The plan is for the new fanfic to start on Friday so get the votes in quick!
Thank you all so much for all the reviews, thank you! Seriously, what did I do to deserve such wonderful readers?
Enjoy and please review
Reid sat on the sofa, he kept his eyes to the floor as he felt the team staring at him. He knew that they were angry and disappointed with him. He was just thankful to be home and out of the cold. He was glad to be away from the large crowds. He felt frustrated with himself, he didn't know what he was going to do. He couldn't go back to being an agent if he couldn't stand up to a group of drunken men. Being an FBI agent required him to be strong, brave and able to focus in moments of danger. He wasn't able to do any of those things. He began to think about other options. He wasn't sure if he was able to be an FBI agent again. He had worked so hard to be who part of the BAU. Now, he faced losing everything he had worked for in his life. He needed to speak with the team but he knew that they wanted to talk to him about what had happened in the interrogation and talk to him about running away from them. He lifted his head to see the team still staring at me.
"I know that we need to talk," Reid said quietly.
"Reid, what you did tonight was reckless," Morgan said as he leaned forward from his chair. "We had no way of contacting you and no way of finding you. We looked everywhere that we thought you would be. You did the right thing calling us. You can't do what you did tonight again. It isn't safe for you. Plus, I don't think are hearts could take you running away again."
"I'm really sorry. I was just so angry and upset. Nothing was making sense then and I just needed space," Reid began to explain as he looked at Morgan. "I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I just don't know where to direct my anger after talking with Ross. Seeing him again, it brought everything back to the front of my mind. I remember him trying to make me think I was insane and then I remember this other side to him. His true self. He killed all those people and he did a test run on one of them. He put a man through hell, turned him into vegetable and then let him starve to death. That was supposed to me. Morgan, if you had not set yourself free and called Garcia, they would have kept me in a room where I would have sat in my filth till I had died."
"That didn't happen though," Morgan said gently. "The team came and rescued us. Ross is in prison for the rest of his life, so is his brother, Arthur. Reid, I didn't protect you though. I should have fought harder against the brothers, I should have made sure that Ross and his brother were restrained. You have no idea how hard it was to watch you get dragged away by Evan Griffin. I couldn't do anything to help you. Reid, you are like a little brother to me. I would do anything to protect you. I'm sorry that I didn't save you."
"Morgan, you did everything you could to save me. Ross stabbed you and left you for dead. Morgan, you have no idea how hard it was to be dragged away from you. Everyone in this room is worthy of being an agent in the FBI, I'm not. I never have been. My mind and my voice used to be my most powerful tools when talking with a unsub. My mind is broken and my voice is small. I don't think I should return as a FBI agent.
"Reid, no!" Garcia and JJ both gasped at his statement.
"Honestly, tell me what you think would happen if I was face to face with a unsub. I couldn't fight off drunken revellers tonight. What chance would I stand with an unsub? I have one option left and I think it would be the only chance I would have to be normal again."
"Reid, I'm not putting you into an institution," Hotch said defiantly.
"It isn't an institution. I've known about it for a few weeks. It's a centre for people who have been through traumatic events, it helps them deal with effects of the events and helps them rebuild their lives. I can leave the centre's care anytime I want. They don't force you to stay. I think it would be good for me to go there and continue getting better."
"Reid, we can take of you. Have we done something wrong?" Garcia asked, her voice showing pain and tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "You can stay here and get better."
"Garcia, look what happened tonight. I ran away from you all because I had to face the man who screwed up my head. I know I had to do it but I have to deal with the fallout of that meeting. I want everyone to listen. You have lives, you have friends and families who need your time. I know we are a family but family can't do everything for each other. I know that you taking care of me is affecting you all when you are on a case. You can't focus and whoever stays back to take care of me could be in the field. I have to go to this place and get better. It's not an institution. They won't force me to do anything I don't want to do and I can leave when I want. I've discussed this with my therapist. We both agreed it would better for everyone if I went to the centre and stayed there. It was tonight that made me decide. I don't want to lose control of my anger or my emotions anymore. I need help and I accept that now. I wish it was help that you could give me but you can't," Reid explained before taking in the faces of his team.
Garcia stood up from the couch and wiped her eyes. "Excuse me."
Garcia rushed to the bathroom and slammed the door. Reid jumped as the door slammed.
"She's upset with me, isn't she?" Reid asked the team.
"Reid, this is a big decision. You have to be sure about this. We are more than willing to take care of you," Emily said from her seat. "Garcia has taken care of you for a long time and she feels responsible for you. I think that by you wanting to go this centre, she feels like she has failed you."
"No, she hasn't. She's wonderful to me and she has taken amazing care of me," Reid said rapidly.
"Reid, what do you want to do?" Morgan asked. "You want your independence back. You want to be able to make your own decisions. This is the first step. Make the first decision."
Reid looked at the entire team and took a deep breath. "I'm going to move into the centre and get better. I want to get my life back on track. If I can get to a place where I feel I could a FBI Agent again, I will attempt to get my job back. If I can't reach that place, I'm going to have to find another path to take in my life. I hope you can all accept this. I have the money saved to go to the centre. I need to do this."
"Reid, I will cover the costs of the centre," Rossi said quickly. "Just make sure that you keep yourself safe and call us every single day."
"Rossi, you don't have to pay for it. The centre allows people to go out and have supervised visits. I can still see you all," Reid said.
"I am going to pay for it," Rossi replied. "Don't argue with me on that."
"Reid," Hotch called gently. "Did we fail you?"
"No, none of you failed me. You have done everything in the world to try to keep me safe. Hotch, I know that Jack misses you and I know that Henry wants JJ around more often. He told me that himself. Morgan, you missed your visit to your mother for her birthday. You all have lives and I want you to live them while I fix mine. I don't want to fix my life at the cost of all of yours," Reid explained.
"When do you want to start the centre?" Hotch asked.
"It's Friday today. Monday, I want to start on Monday," Reid said before running a hand through his hair. "Hotch, this is the best thing for me. I hope you can all understand that."
Please review
