Roxas went to bed without another word, Axel never got a hold of him and the waiting is what ultimately caused the teen to fall asleep. He was awoken bright and early by the birds singing outside his window, the number still in his hand. He opened his phone to find no new message, maybe Axel couldn't understand. Disappointment washed over the teen, but he stayed quiet, all day, as his mind stewed on the idea while he hid behind his hoodie, and before he knew it, it was time for his appointment with Zack.

"Mention your mother," Vexen instantly said.

"Did Axel read the note?" Were the first words the blond chose to say, even though he'd been sitting in silence for most of their session.

"I think so, he said he was going to read it in private, and then left to find you." Zack simply responded.

That wasn't what Roxas wanted to hear, he wanted to hear something like, 'Axel never read the note,' something that would explain why the man hadn't text him back. And again the blond was left to his self pity, telling himself over and over again how it was all his own fault, while his mind also chanted about how nothing was fair. Because nothing ever seemed fair, every time hope and happiness presented themselves to the teen, they were taken away. But now, hope and happiness, a second chance, was literally following him around like a lost puppy, and he was still managing to push it all away.

"This is going to kill me..." he may have mumbled it, but the man still heard. Before he could comment on it, Roxas changed the subject. "How did you know how I felt when I first met Cloud? When I first moved in with Cloud and Tifa."

Roxas was hoping for some in depth answer, something that would fill in all the blanks, but instead received a quick and on-point answer, "My sister was friends with Tifa," and then he too quickly changed the subject. "So I take it Axel hasn't gotten a hold of you?"

Slowly, Roxas shook his head, debating on even answering because he didn't want to change subjects, he wanted to hear more about Zack's sister and Tifa.

"He will, he worries too much to not care about you."

"Yeah..." his gaze dropped, before staying locked staring out the window, he was obviously troubled, but Zack couldn't tell specifically why.

Roxas took advantage of the last few minutes of the session, "I don't know what to do," he spoke into the hoodie that had bunched up on his shoulder. He didn't see the questioning look he received, but he continued talking, "I know what I'm doing... I know how I'm acting... I know I'm being ridiculous and it's my fault Ax and I fight so much... but... I don't know how to not... I'm so used to always fighting... I don't know how to just get over everything and move on... I don't know how to be normal."

Zack opened his mouth, completely ready to address the problem the teen had presented him, but he wasn't able to.

"Wow, time flies," Roxas began, "Nice talking to you, sessions over though, see you later," he quickly walked out the door. He knew Zack could ask him to come back, but that's all he could do, ask.

Leon was still sitting in the waiting room, but when he went to the receptionist, Roxas took his chance and slipped out the door, but didn't go to the car like Leon had assumed.

The teen took off, running as fast as he could, attempting to put as much distance between himself and anybody, as quickly as possible. His body was quick to slow down though, still sore from the previous day's run.

As his body slowed, his mind raced.

In the end, what reason did Axel have to reply at all to his message? Yes, the teen would have appreciated it, but Axel didn't have to. That was the whole point of the letter, if Axel could understand, he was supposed to get a hold of the blond, but maybe he couldn't. Maybe Roxas wasn't as good as explaining things, even in writing, as he thought, or maybe he was just asking too much of the redhead.

Looking around, the teen knew where he was, he knew who was nearby too. Without a second thought, he let his body lead him, he was done caring, and done trying. Axel was more than enough proof that, Roxas trying, Roxas attempting to be anything other than his sad miserable self, was just a lie that he could never fulfill.

"Fake it till you make it," the voice in his head had to chime in, "Or, in your case, pretend you're faking, but continue to secretly enjoy it."

Roxas wasn't entirely sure what the voice meant, but didn't bother to ask, he pushed open the door instead.

Wide eyes stared at Roxas, from not only Saix, but his henchmen too.

"Roxas," the blue haired man stood up, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" In no time at all he was standing in front of the teen.

"How much do you charge people?" He tucked his hands in his pockets, scrunching up his shoulders in an attempt to look more laid back and not on edge, like he felt. But in Saix' eyes, the pose just made the teen look even smaller, even more damaged and hurt.

He couldn't lie, there were feelings somewhere inside him towards the blond, but he was beginning to think they weren't the healthiest.

"Charge people for what?" He played innocent, pulling out his phone as he turned around, heading back to his spot on the couch, the phone returning to his pocket before he finally sat down.

"You know what," the teen glared, "I don't have much on me now," he didn't have anything on him at all, "But I still have the bag full of money, somewhere."

"Take a seat," Saix relaxed into the couch, stretching his arms out to rest along the backside of the couch.

The blond's nerves were on edge, he knew it was a mistake to come to Saix of all people, but he was the only person the teen knew who could help him with his problem. "Why?"

"Well," the man kicked the coffee table, both leaving his feet on the edge and causing syringes to roll across the flat surface. "You want something, don't you?"

Every voice in the teen's head begged him not to approach the man, well, all except one.

"My little masochist," Vexen's voice echoed, the last thing the teen wanted to hear.

"So your friends with Ax?" he tried to change the subject as he hesitantly approached the man.

"Oh, he told you that..." he pulled out a cigarette, lightning it quickly, "Well, no offense to him, but he's too prude for my taste."

Before the teen realized, he was within arms length, but Saix took advantage of that, grabbing onto his hoodie and shirt and pulling him down to sit with him.

"Yeah," he flicked off the ash, "We were friends once, a long time ago," another long inhale, "But Axel was too innocent for this life."

"So you're not?" the teen meant it to sound more snarky than it came out.

Saix chuckled, pulling the teen closer, "Oh no..." another pause, "Never was."

Roxas was going through a lot, but the teen never noticed what he was causing other people to go through. Upon meeting the blond, Saix had a solid definition of what 'love' was, but after seeing Axel act towards the blond, his world was turned upside down.

Axel fought to keep Roxas safe, fought to find him, fought for him. That was not something Saix had never seen before, not in anyone, the closest he'd seen was people fight over someone, but not for someone. Not only was Roxas causing the man to readjust his feelings toward the teen, but also brought into light how his uncle showed him love. Everything made sense before the blond, but now everything was a haze and the man truly had no idea how to handle it.

"So..." the teen brought the man out of his thoughts.

"Sew buttons on ice cream."

"What?"

The man's only response was a smirk, he thought it would be more difficult, but the fact that it was so easy to distract the blond from the drugs, proved just how much Roxas didn't need them.

Roxas wasn't like Saix, in more ways than one, but the one the man tried to focus on, was the one pertaining to the drugs scattered in front of him.

Saix lived, breathed, and functioned around the drugs, but Roxas was still a baby. Roxas just 'wanted' it, he didn't 'need' it, and the man wasn't going to help that transition. He may have done a lot of things to fuck the blond up, but that was not something he was going to add to his list.

"Come on," he was getting impatient, and the longer he sat there, the more he regretted it.

"Come on nothing," he huffed away on his cigarette. "They still have you on those pills?"

"To, 'ween me off of addiction'?" the teen mocked, when the man nodded his head the teen almost pouted, "Yes," he was practically sulking.

Saix glared at the teen, looking down on him from the corner of his eye, and watched as the teen tried to hide the shiver that clearly ran down his spine. Roxas attempted to meet his gaze, but the sociopath's glance brought back unsettling emotions. Quickly the blond turned away, but he could still feel the gaze that left him feeling naked and exposed. He could no longer hide his shaking.

The man sat in the silence, half of him feeling empowered by making the teen feel so weak, while the other half of him wondered what was wrong with him to find joy in such a disturbing thing. He could no longer deny it, he had to admit, at least to himself, that he was a sick individual.

His parents died when he was much to young to even remember their faces, what he did remember was the nights spent shaking in fear. Listening to every sound, hoping that the night would be peaceful, and he would thrive on that hope, till he heard the boots walking toward his door. When it started happening he remained head strong, talking back to his uncle, which usually lead to a smack or a kick, but every hit meant the man would come into his room later that night. Every hit would be followed by apologies and a night spent 'making it up'.

Slowly, over time, Saix stopped talking back, stopped talking all together. In return, his uncle became less violent. Showing him the 'sweetest' and 'gentlest' of love. Until that one day, where something in Saix just snapped, just gave in, and he accepted that that was just how love was shown, because in the end, who was going to tell him otherwise?

Roxas still had a chance, still had hope, and still had his attitude. Saix stared at him as he finalized his thoughts. He had been ripped apart just to be put back together the way his uncle wanted, he couldn't destroy someone like that, the only pleasure he found was in the fight, but he knew once the fight was gone, he'd be a heartless zombie like his uncle. A smirk stretched across his face, "They're aren't satisfying your itch?"

Saix had a lot of his own secrets, all of which he would take to the grave.

"It's not an itch," he tried to defend himself, his arms crossed over his chest. When Saix removed his arm from behind the teen's head, Roxas jumped, every time the man moved, the blond flinched, even if it was just in the smallest of ways. The man noticed it though, outwardly he smiled, inwardly he cursed himself.

"No," he offered a chuckle, "Of course not, so," he picked up a needle, admiring it, "If I were to load this full... with that sweet, 'sweet', warmth... it wouldn't affect you?"

He tried to still himself, tried to not move in any way, but Saix still saw how the teen's eyes became glued to the needle. Roxas was craving, hard.

"I don't think Axel would approve," the scarred man sat back.

"Ax never approves..." it was on the top of the list for things he knew he shouldn't have said, but it was the first thing that slipped his lips. His hand subconsciously gripped his wrist, a twinge of pain blooming on the wound that was still not entirely healed yet.

"Why not just self medicate again?" Saix grabbed the teen's hand, pulling up the sleeve in a quick second. Even though he tried to wiggle free, Roxas couldn't break his hold.

"It's not the same," he finally got his arm free. This time though, he placed his hand up higher, pain blossoming from his newest cuts because of all the jostling.

"So, which do you want Axel to find out about?" Saix admired the empty syringe as he leaned next to the blond. He answered the puzzled look he received, "That you came to me to score, or that you cut yourself again?"

Roxas shook his head as quickly as he could, he wanted to say something, but before he could, Saix continued his mini rant.

"Either way, is bound to lead to a fight... but which one are you prepared for?"

"He doesn't need to know about either." Which was not the correct response.

"Oh, if you want more secrets to keep to yourself, I can give you a few more," he couldn't deny that he had feelings for the blond, he just wasn't exactly sure what they meant, or how to handle them. "It's going to hurt Axel's feelings," he sat the needle down, "To know A, that you cut yourself, after just being released from the hospital for attempting suicide the very same way. Or B, that you would sooner turn to me than him." His twisted mind enjoyed the idea, playing it over and over again, of Roxas choosing him instead of Axel.

"Fuck off," the teen stood up.

Saix smirked, crossing his legs and closing his eyes. "Are you going to treat Axel like you treated Riku? Throw him away once he's useless to you?"

The blond stopped in his tracks, he hadn't made it very far to begin with, but he was trying to keep himself calm, to not give into Saix like he knew the man wanted. A laugh erupted from Saix, slowly Roxas turned around to look at the man, but once he laid eyes on him, he jumped and turned right back around. The front door of the warehouse flew open, revealing a scrawny redhead.

"Ax?"

"Come on," the man grabbed Roxas' arm, attempting to pull him out the door, but Saix stopped them.

"Why are you leaving so soon?"

Axel glared at the man, sure they had worked together to find the teen, but they were nothing more, and Axel didn't want to entertain the idea.

"Roxas has something to tell you." The man stood up, laughing as he walked closer to them.

That earned the teen a questioning glare, but he didn't give in, not yet.

"Rox... what's he talking about?"

"Come on 'Rox', I gave you a choice, tell him, either A or B. Don't worry, there's no wrong answer." The man was enjoying himself way too much. He had admitted to himself that he was definitely deranged, but all was fair in Love and War, and if he could drive a wedge between the two, he'd happily do it.

"Rox?" Axel dropped his hand, waiting for the teen to open his mouth. When he finally saw Roxas' mouth drop open, he began leading him again, "Tell me, in the car, not here." As he opened the door, they listened to Saix complain in the background.

When they got to the car, the teen tried to change the subject, "Where's Riku?"

It was entirely a jump away from the conversation, because in the end, it wasn't just Axel that was on his mind, it was also the woman he had met the day before, and how she was apparently his mother. He didn't want to admit it to himself yet, because the hope he would some day meet her, verses actually meeting her, was much greater. But now Riku had crossed his mind again, he assumed the man had been doing fine, cooperating with the police the last time he saw him, how much could have gone wrong?

"Sephiroth and Vexen are after him..." the man's voice was quiet, as if he hoped the teen couldn't hear him. But of course the teen did, and the teen had a lot of questions. "I don't know the details... they don't like rats, Rox... I explained that. And now they actually have a rat on their hands... They're not happy."

"What does my father have to do with any of that though?"

The man cursed himself, he could have easily left out names and avoided the whole in-depth conversation. Axel messed up, there had been too many things on his mind, and the conversation was not the conversation he pictured having when he finally saw the blond.

"Because Riku ratted on him too..." it was a simple and logical answer, but he changed the subject just to make sure the blond wouldn't dwell. "What did you have to tell me?"

"It's not important..."

"Okay... but still... what was it?"

The teen had his own version of a conversation they would be having, and he too, did not think it would be the one they were currently having.

"I made a mistake, okay? I fucked up, I know that, and I don't want to tell you because you'll just rub it in my face how wrong I was..."

"I promise I won't... not if you tell me..."

With a deep breath, the blond shifted his gaze, part of him wanting to start a fight, and the other part of him just wanting to tell the man. It was funny, once Roxas realized what was wrong with him, what he always was doing and how, he could spot the moments leading up to when he was about to do it again. That also meant that now, if he started a fight with Axel, it would be on purpose, and the blond couldn't play innocent to it. He slowly opened his mouth.

"I went to Saix to do drugs... but I wasn't going to actually do it, I know it was stupid, I know all of that okay? But... fuck... I don't know... It just... happened, I looked up and I was right by the warehouse. I'm sorry okay?"

"Okay."

Roxas stared at the man, there was no yelling, there was no sassy comment, there was nothing but acceptance and silence. He didn't know how to handle that. "You're... not mad?"

"Of course I'm mad Rox... but I'm not mad at you... I'm mad that you feel that way," he stopped and looked at the blond, "I've been there, I know what it's like, and I know it's not easy, but it's not your fault you're hooked." Axel continued to glance around in silence for a moment, before moving the car, "And... Saix already told me that... I just... it means a lot to me that you told me."

"What?"

"He texted me that you were at the warehouse, wanting a hit... I drove over as quickly as I could..."

Roxas cursed the scarred man, Saix had given him two options, when in reality, Axel already knew about one. Which meant Saix was hoping to start a fight between them. As all of the new information dawned on Roxas, he glance out his window, shaking his head, the man's attempt had back fired, because there was a right answer. And Roxas got it.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, Axel driving to Leon's, and Roxas just enjoying the moment. He'd never felt it before, but he felt accomplished, like he had just taken a giant step, in the right direction. Maybe this was the first step of many, maybe he was on the road to getting better.

"Are you sure?"

The teen shook his head, of course the voice of Vexen would be back, but the blond's feelings were too strong for an imaginary voice to debunk. If this was how it felt to open up, a little hostile at first, but over all comforting, than the blond could see himself doing it a lot more. His mother crossed his mind again. He meant what he had said about being more open with Axel, but there was a time and a place for everything, and Roxas did not want to bring up his mother at that moment.

So maybe 'chore' was an exaggeration, but... I'm just not happy with it, but then again, I'm never happy with anything I do.

Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and follows :D

Uploaded: February 26th, 2017