Hello people. Back again with a new chapter. Just want to say I have never been to confession and all I know about it is what I have seen on T.V shows so I hope I that this chapter is alright. anyway on with the show.
Enjoy.
Disclaimer:I don't own Supernatural.
When they Arrived at the church Rose asked her brothers to stay outside while she went in to do her confession. She walked up the empty aisle of the quite church trying to order her thoughts. Once she reached the alter she knelt down to pray. She knew that she was supposed to do this by going into the confession box but this church didn't seem to have any so she was sure that kneeing would be fine. She was confessing to the same person anyway.
"Forgive me father for I have sinned, I have never been to confession before." She whispered hoping that god wouldn't be offended if she slipped into a more normal way of speaking.
"Okay so hope your listening God cos this is me releasing my burdens and preparing my body to cure Crowley and close the gates of hell as requested." she paused for a moment wondering where to start.
"So I suppose I should ask forgiveness for loving Gabriel but I'm not going to do that. I can't think that falling in love is wrong no matter what you say...so I guess I'm sorry for not being sorry? You know what I mean. I hope." she said rolling her closed eyes, she was getting off topic. No need to tell god he's wrong when you need him to bless you.
"I don't think I have done anything major in my life that requires your forgiveness, other peoples maybe but not yours. So let me talk instead about my regrets. I don't have many that I can think of, most are just silly little things like never seeing an iceberg, but there is one. And I have to say its pretty major. I regret not telling Dean the truth about Isobel from the beginning. I know I am planning on telling him before I finish the trials but I know me I'll wait for the last possible moment to do it and then let everyone else deal with the fall out." At this Rose took in a deep breath, tipping her head back so that if she had her eyes open she would be looking up at the ceiling.
"We shouldn't have lied to him. He deserved to know that she was his daughter as well. In fact she is more his daughter than mine, maybe that is why I lied? I didn't want to have to give her up completely to her real parents." At this thought she brought her head back down as she continued.
"Wow I really make a sucky surrogate don't I?" At this she paused thinking about the realisation she had just had about why she was so keen to go along with Castiel's plan all those weeks ago. After a while of silent contemplation she shook her head, there really wasn't anything she could do about it now after all. So she continued on a different thought.
"I know this isn't what I am supposed to be talking about but c'est la vie. Please God please take care of my family. I may not have known my brothers long but they are my brothers. And Bobby, I never had a father growing up and now I do. He is the greatest of men, please take care of them." her voice lowered as she continued, her tone filled with love, "And Isobel. I love her more than I can express, she is sunshine on a cloudy day to quote some song. I'll miss her." Rose paused as she thought of her daughter, the girl she would never see grow up and who would probably not even remember her in a years time and she felt a stab of pain at her choices, "But I'm doing the right thing," she said out loud, as if god could her the inner workings of her mind, and maybe he could how would she know? "I know that, I don't regret choosing this path, nor do I regret getting Castiel to help me succeed along it. I just wish" And again she paused to let out a small sigh as she thought over the choices she made. "I just wish that it hadn't involved lying to those I love, lying really is the worst sin even if you are doing it to protect people." She sat up straight as she continued.
"I'm sorry for all the lies I've told. So many lies in a lifetime, but the worst are the ones I have told Dean and Gabriel, though I pretty sure the latter at least was well aware of what I was doing. Anyway for those lies I am truly sorry God. I wish I could make it up to them. Well I guess I am now right? Closing the gates of hell and completing our end of your deal, though I have a feeling some would prefer if I didn't and we all just got to stay here. But it wouldn't stay as it is, I'm not sure how things would change, maybe there is as alternate reality out there where I decide to stop?" she realised she was rambling but it felt good. "but it wouldn't be this one. No in this universe I will succeed in this, I promise." She paused again, biting her lip wondering if she should say what had come into her mind, but this was confession so she decided to.
"Please God, I know you will probably have something to say about how Gabriel plans to spend his time once he has returned to heaven but please, let me see him once in a while. I'll live happily in heaven as long as I know he will be around occasionally." she wanted to say more but thought that she might well be pushing her luck so she changed the subject.
"Okay, well I can't really think of anything else to say except to ask you once again to look after all those I love and bless them with happiness please. Oh and just so there is no confusion those I love are Isobel, Dean, Sam, Bobby, Castiel and Gabriel." she smiled to herself as she tried to think of how to end her confession.
"Wow it really is rather therapeutic this confession malarkey. Thank you God for all you have done and maybe see you on the other side? Amen."
And with that Rose rose from her knees dusting herself down and turned to call her brothers inside. They had a demon to summon.
Now I don't normally put A/N's at the bottom of chapters but with this one I just had to do this.
Next up - Crowley! :)
Until next time.
