National Suicide Hotline Number: 1-800-784-2433. Call if you ever need help

L : Sins Past

You know how I loathe giving over narrator rights, but I have to do it for this part of the story. Oh well, at least I'm not giving them to Louis (imagine what that chapter would sound like).

Lisa

I stared at the little Mudkip on my lap. He was so sweet, and I realized he was extremely intelligent. More so then several of my comrades (Louis). It's easier to talk to a pokemon then a human, much easier. When you talk to a human, the only thing they're thinking is When is it my turn to talk? Pokemon listen to you, don't judge you, offer you sympathy.

I stroked Rush down his back, gently touching the scar on his tail fin. He noticeably cringed as I did, so I chose not to touch it again. I couldn't figure out how to begin my story, so I just sat there silently. Rush leaned up, and licked me across the nose.

"Thanks Rush" I whispered, "I guess I should start. It began when I was almost champion"


I wasn't actually born in Johto. I was born somewhere in Kanto, but we moved to Johto when I was six. I discovered pokemon training when I was eight, and I realized that was my destiny. To be a trainer, and a freaking great one at that. Except, I ran into obstacles from day one.

The earliest a person can become a trainer is on their tenth birthday. Even then, they have to have parental permission. Well my parents, heartless Nazi bastards they are, thought pokemon training was degrading. They said their was no glory in it (The two of them worked as faceless cogs in a large cooperation, yeah a lot of glory there). Well I waited until I was 13, and brought my first girlfriend home. They gave me permission the next day.

To screw me over one last time, my parents contacted Professor Something (the name escapes me), and told him not to give me my starter. He gave me my pokeballs, but not a pokemon. All because of those cock suckers. Well my starter had to be what ever I captured, and the first thing I captured (by accident) was a Lavitar. Destiny in the making. I named the Larvitar Dante, after my favorite poet. He didn't like me at first, but I suppose I grew on him. By the time we got to the first gym, he was okay with me.

Everyone, including me, soon discovered I had talent. Within a year I had gotten through all of the gyms, but I lost at the Johto conference (they finally get their own tournament, their own elite 4, outside of Kanto. What do they call their championship? The Johto conference!). I waited ten more years before going through the gyms again. Why? I'm not sure myself. I ended up doing several tournaments for money, and visiting other regions. Eventually I met Charlie, but I'll get to him later.

Well I eventually beat all of the gyms in Johto a second time, when I was 23. This time I won the conference, and got the chance to face the Elite 4. I beat the Elite four in eight days, and soon I was facing the champion.


Dante was panting, every breath labored. His rock body was covered in small burns, from where the champions Typhlosion had attacked it. I knew he wasn't going to last long, and I didn't know how much longer that damn Typhlosion would last.

"Hang on Dante" I called, "We're almost done" Dante nodded I think, but I wasn't sure. The stadium was hot that day, with no wind to cool me down. All of the people they're were either cheering for me, or against me, but it didn't matter. They were all distracting me.

"Explotaro, flame-wheel" The Typhlosion curled into a ball, that promptly erupted into flames. It then shot towards Dante.

"Good enough" I mumbled, "Dante! Dig" Dante disappeared under the ground, and Typhlosion missed him completely. Dante stayed down though, waiting until the flame-wheel ended. When Typhlosion finally uncurled, Dante made his move.

My Tyranitar exploded from the ground like a land mine, and grabbed Typhlosion. Before the thing could escape, Dante dragged it back under the ground. I pushed my glasses up nervously, anxious to see if every thing would work like I planned it had. Another explosion, and Typhlosion was forced out of the ground and into the air.

"Now, rock-throw!" Dante didn't need to be told twice. He began chucking boulder sized rocks straight at Typhlosion. One after another after another pummeled the creature in mid-air. Finally Dante could throw no more, and Typhlosion crashed into the ground. It twitched once, and passed out.

"Holy fuck" I cried, "I just won! Ha ha!" I screamed ecstatically, as I ran onto the field, jumping and grabbing Dante in a hug. Streamers exploded onto the field, as I kissed his rock muzzle, and he growled affectionately. "You kicked ass, and we won! Fuck we won!"

"Does the boy-friend of the winner get a kiss" Charlie asked. Charlie had been watching me, sitting on my bench on my side of the field. I dropped off Dante, and kissed Charlie. As I began to work the belt out of his pants, he whispered "Not in front of every one"


Charlie wasn't my boy-friend, he was my fiancée. We had met when I had just started revisiting the Johto gyms. When you're a professional trainer, you rarely have a chance for a personal life. All of the people you meet are either rich nit-wits, or fellow trainers. If you are a trainer, you never want to date a trainer, never bring your work home.

Well Charlie had worked for an advertising firm. The Johto league was trying to remake their public image, beginning with each of the gyms. Charlie was an unpaid intern at the firm when I met him. He, and two others (two people who were getting paid) traveled from gym to gym trying to help the leader change their gyms image. Idiots.

Charlie and I started dating when I realized he wasn't like any of the bubble heads I usually talked to. When I got to Blackthorn gym, he asked me to marry him. I agreed instantly. We decided that if I lost in the Johto conference, we would get married six months after that. If I became champion, we would wait another two years. That was the plan as he called it, the plan.

I remember Charlie fondly to this day. His arms, tender when they held me, strong if they needed to be. His skin the color of polished onyx, his body so perfect in my mind. He had the body you wanted to lick stuff off of, and he could rattle a bed like a category 8 earthquake.

Charlie had one thing that creeped people out. He had severe ocular, muscular, something something something. What it meant was Charlie had to wear a pair of glasses that looked like two magnifying glasses taped together. His eyes always looked about the size of bowling balls, no matter what he tried to do. Charlie had suggested I get laser eye surgery, but I refused out of sympathy. Of course he had also suggested I get dental work to correct very bad front teeth, and a nose job. He said it was so the rest of the world could see me like he saw me. I didn't care what the world thought though, not when I was with him.

I had yet to introduce him to my family, for obvious reasons, but I had told him about them. Charlie had suggested we invite them to the wedding when we had it. We could get married and they could stand across the street burning crosses, eating babies, sacrificing goats.


"I suppose our wedding date has been set" I said, after the celebration ended that day. It was almost two a.m., as we made our way back to my room in the stadium. Charlie had his own apartment in town. His run as an intern had ended, and he was now a junior copy something. Anyway, what it meant was he did a shit load of work and was barely paid a cent because his boss was a greedy shit.

"How does it feel to be champion?" I smiled.

"I'm not champion yet" I said, "I've still got a week before my ceremony. A lot can happen in a week"

"A lot can happen tonight" Charlie said, kissing me gently. A lot did happen that night, but I'm not going to describe it to you Rush. Anyways, after it was all over, Charlie basically passed out. I couldn't sleep though. I got out of bed, and stumbled to the bathroom. I then threw-up.

Staring at a toilet full of puke, I could no longer deny what I feared. I had been throwing up a lot lately, for the last three weeks. I had to know if my fears were correct. I exited my room, quiet not to wake Charlie, and went off to buy a pregnancy test.


"I'll be back this afternoon" Charlie whispered, kissing me on the shoulder as he got out of my bed. I barely acknowledged him as he left, even though I was wide awake. As soon as I heard the door open and close, I jumped out of the bed. Rushing to the bathroom, I pulled open the medicine cabinet and grabbed the pregnancy test I had bought the day before.

I had been feeling sick since before I got here, and I needed to know for sure. Was I pregnant? After taking the damn test (to disgusting to get into) I took one look, and all of my questions were answered.

"Oh fuck" I mumbled.


"Lisa" Charlie called, as he walked back into our room at the stadium. "I'm back, you said you had a big important announcement?" I was laying on the bed in the bed room. He came over, and stroked my arm. "You called me, what's the big news?" I smiled.

"I'm pregnant" I expected Charlie to explode with excitement. To take me in his arms, and take me right there. Instead, Charlie's face dropped like a stone in water. His hands began shaking like a paint-mixer.

"You're pregnant?" I nodded excitedly. "H-how? I mean, we used protection!"

"No we didn't" I said, "We thought about using protection, and chose not to. Largely because you couldn't get the wrapper open" Charlie stood up, and began pacing back and forth. "Is something wrong" His head jerked in my direction.

"Uh yeah! You being pregnant is not part of the plan!" Now, hindsight has shown that although Charlie was a great guy, and he loved me, he was a slightly psychotic control freak. His mind simply didn't work when life deviated from "the plan". "You can't be pregnant, I wont allow it"

"Uh, do I care if you allow it?" I asked crossly, "It doesn't matter if it doesn't follow the plan" Charlie shook his head rapidly.

"Needs to follow the plan" He said, "We're not even married yet" I shrugged.

"Okay, so we get married sooner then we thought. No harm, no foul" Charlie's look told me their was going to be a lot of harm. He looked deranged.

"Have you told any one yet?" I shook my head.

"No, of course not" that was a flat out lie. I called my family, since they were the only people I could think of calling. They told me they hoped my "mix-breed baby" choked on its own piss, and died.

"Good, no one knows. How are you going to be a mother, and champion of the Johto region?" I shrugged.

"Dunno, haven't really thought it out" I said, "But it doesn't matter, it's exciting. Isn't it?" Charlie shook his head rapidly.

"You can't be champion if you're pregnant!" He cried, "League rules prohibit it"

"I'll hide it" I replied. Okay, that would have been impossible, but I didn't care. I was so ecstatic, I couldn't think straight.

"No, you wont" Charlie cried. "Hiding the fact your pregnant? The champion of a region is a public figure. You're going to be hiding if from the league, and the entire region of Johto"

"What if I am?" I growled.

"You wont be able to!!!" Charlie yelled.

"Don't yell at me you fucker!" I screamed, jumping off of the bed. I regretted my words the moment they came out of my mouth. I didn't tell him that though. Charlie touched my arm gingerly.

"I'm not ready for this"' Charlie said. "You know you're not either. Look, I know of this clinic, completely anonymous" I brushed him off of me.

"I need some air" I whispered.


I stood on top of the stadium, having climbed up through a service entrance. I really wasn't supposed to be up there, but I needed air and I needed to be alone. At least, I needed to be away from people.

"Come on out Virgil" I mumbled, releasing one pokemon. The Zangoose appeared in front of me, no surprise on his face that he was called. When I caught Virgil, he hadn't had an emotion. Years later, I still hadn't seen one. I can't figure it. "Did I disturb you?" He shrugged, sort of. "I need some one to talk to, and it can't be a human. I hope you don't mind" Nothing. I sighed, and began.

Virgil listened to me for the next hour, as I ranted and raved about the fact I was pregnant, that Charlie wanted me to get an abortion, that I was about to become champion. I don't think I accomplished much, and I think I made Virgil uncomfortable.

"So, what should I do?" I asked.

"Zang" Good advice on his part. I sighed, and recalled him. I then kissed his pokeball. Standing up, I made my way back down the service entrance, and ended up back at my room. Some how, and I couldn't tell you how, I stumbled inside.

"Lisa!" Charlie exclaimed, running over to me.

"I've made up my mind" I said. "I want to be champion, I've wanted this my whole life. Call the clinic"


It only took 48 hours. The first day they brought me in, did blood work, made sure the procedure wouldn't kill me. The next day they called me back in and did it. They called it the procedure, trying to make it sound less horrible then it really was. They tried to remain indifferent. They succeeded, and I hated them for that.

On the ride back to the stadium after the "procedure" I felt empty. I had done this against my will, to the possibly living thing inside me. I wished the car would stop, so I could get out and throw up. Funny, they always debate about if the fetus is alive, they never ask about the woman carrying it. How she feels. Charlie put his arm around me.

"Don't!" I said suddenly, sharply. Charlie removed his arm, a little shocked. I continued to stare vacantly into space.

"You didn't do the wrong thing" He said to me, "They would never let you be champion if you were pregnant. Even if they did, we're not ready. We will be someday, but now. You being pregnant isn't part of the plan"

"Fuck the plan" I whispered, only loud enough for me to hear. "And fuck you" We rode the rest of the way in silence.


I didn't want to do anything but stay in bed. I did just that for the next three days, laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Charlie and all of my pokemon tried to comfort me, but none of it worked. I just wanted to die at this point, just stay there and die.

"You're going to have to go to your ceremony" Charlie said, stroking my arm, "Where they crown you champion. You're going to have to" I nodded, but didn't reply. "Do you hate me?"

"How could I hate you" I whispered, "It was my choice" Charlie shrugged, and got off of the bed. I heard his footsteps as he left our room. My pokemon all (with the exception of Martial, my Wailord). They knew I was sad, but they couldn't do a thing to cheer me up.

Did they have families? I thought to myself, Lives? When I captured them, did I take them willingly? No I didn't, I took them out of their homes, to battle against their will, for my own amusement. Virgil, my most loyal pokemon, got on the bed with me. I looked at him for one second, before braking down sobbing.

I didn't stop the entire day.


"Why do they give you the prize money check before the actual ceremony?" I asked Charlie. He shrugged.

"Because you can't cash the big novelty check?" Charlie said. When I woke up that morning, he had been happy to see I was talkative again. That I was happy again. Well he was right, I was happy. The night before I decided that my life was empty and meaningless, and I knew what I was going to do about it.

At this moment, we were waiting in the preparation room in the stadium, waiting to be called into the arena for my ceremony. Right now, I was gathering up the nerve to put my plan into action.

It's now or never

"I have to go to the bathroom" I said, standing up. Unconsciously, I touched the pokeballs around my waist, making sure they were still fastened.. "If they call me, inform them where I am okay?"

"Okay, be quick" Charlie said sweetly. I smiled, and left the waiting room. Oh don't worry, I was going to be quick.

I had to act very quickly. They were soon going to start looking for me, and I needed to be gone. I figured out what I was going to do, when I remembered the bathroom in the stadium had a window. The window wasn't very big, but it was only a few feet off of the ground. I ran over to it, and tried to push it up. No go, I couldn't open it. The window was sealed shut.

"Sorry about this" I took off my left shoe, and used it to break the glass. I made sure their were no large shard sticking out, for when I climbed out. I took one look at myself in the mirror, before I climbed out. I hated what I saw.

I'm hideous I thought. I removed my glasses for a second Surgery to correct my vision. A better wardrobe, surgery to fix my nose, my teeth, my breasts. I could be beautiful. I undid the ribbon I used to tie up my hair, letting it all fall down.

"Lisa?" Charlie called. Time to go. I pulled my engagement ring off and left it on the sink. I then climbed out the window.

"Good-bye old me"


Rush still looked as cheerful as he did when I began my story. He knew I was hurting, all he wanted was to make me feel better. Wonderful little creature.

"Kip?" I assumed he was asking if I felt better. I smiled to him.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better" Shakily, I stood up again. "Come on, let's rejoin the others"