Chapter 52-
Jackson took his time walking down the stairs, he pulled his keys from his pocket and stared at them for a moment, contemplating once more not leaving. He turned the keys in his hand and noticed the long, deep cut from the base of his thumb to the start of his wrist.
"Hold tight, Matty! I just have to cut your jacket off to check for bleeding! Shit! My hand! Don't worry buddy… I'm ok…"
Jack cringed at the memory of the event as he grasped his keys tighter in his hand and continued down the ground floor. He stepped out into the lobby, quiet and darkened in the predawn hours. Doctors and nurses were either sleeping in on call rooms, or rushing to one emergency or another, the nurse's station was darkened and empty, Jack chuckled to himself at the irony. He looked around the lobby, sitting down in one of the cold, plastic chairs as he waited.
"If you want to come with me, you can and you would, if you love me. If you love me, you would be down in the lobby waiting for me when I'm through getting dressed. If you don't meet me down there, then I'll know the truth, and you won't have anything to worry about, because you'll never have to see me again!"
Jack stood up suddenly, taking one last look around the lobby. He listened closely but heard no footsteps coming down the hallway, no elevator coming to the floor, and he glanced at the stairwell, but no one entered the lobby. He walked to the front door and walked through the automatic doors, he stepped out into the cold rain and turned around one last time. "Goodbye, Charlotte. I love you." He whispered as he turned towards the parking lot.
He walked across the cold, wet parking lot as the rain fell hard on his skin.
"I can't wait to get out there! I sure hope it doesn't rain out there!" Matt exclaimed excitedly as they drove their way up the long, mountain road.
Jack stood in the rain, standing outside of his car. He looked up to the sky and let the drops fall into his eyes. The drops fell to his face like pellets as they splashed on his hot, sore skin. He silently prayed that he was doing the right thing as he got into his car. He turned on the ignition and took one last look at the hospital as he put it into drive and drove as fast as he could out of the parking lot.
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"What are you looking out at?" Katie asked from her bed, at Charlotte, who is staring out her hospital room window.
Charlotte turned around and looked at Katie. "Huh? Oh. Nothing…" She responded. "Just the rain." She said as she turned to look back out the window, a lone tear traced its way down her face as she watched Jackson's car drive quickly out of the parking lot. "Just the rain." She whispered again.
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"Matthew!
Hurry up! Your plane leaves in an hour!" Rebecca called to her son,
who is standing in the kitchen by the phone. "Just five more
minutes mom, she's going to call, I know she's going to call. I
told her to call me!" Matt said as he stood by the phone waiting.
He lifted the phone off the receiver to make sure that the dial tone
was still there. "Matt, she's not going to call. She
hasn't called in two weeks, just leave her be." Rebecca replied
as she walked to her son and put her hand on his shoulder. "She
has to call mom! I'm leaving and I don't know when I'm coming
back! Why wouldn't she call me? She told me that she loves me."
Matt cried out as he shook his mother's hand off his
shoulder. "Matt, we absolutely can't wait any longer, you
have to get on that plane!" Rebecca said as she grabbed her son's
arm. "No! She WILL call. She loves me!" Matt
insisted. "If she loved you, she would have called by now!
Now let's go! Your father is waiting in the car!" Rebecca said as
she pulled her son out the door, locking the door behind her.
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::Ring,
Ring:: ::Ring, Ring:: "Hello, you've
reached the Sloan residence, no one is available to take your call,
if you'd like to leave a…." ::Click:: "Who
were you calling, sweetheart?" Meredith asked, seeing her
daughter's sad and forlorn expression as she sit on the couch,
holding the phone. Her face was pale and sickly, her fingers and lips
trembling. Katie looked up at her mother, her eyes wide and
tears ready be released. "Katie? Who were you calling, are you
alright?" Meredith asked, crouching beside her daughter. "No
one." Katie said, swallowing the lump in her throat as she wiped
away a stray tear. "I wasn't calling anyone." Katie said, her
voice cracking as she ran quickly up the stairs to her bedroom, where
she crashed her body onto her bed and began to cry.
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The
sunlight peeked through the curtains of Derek's bedroom window and
cast shadows against Derek's face. Meredith had been awake for about
an hour now, just laying there, watching him sleep. There was a
hollow, empty feeling down deep in her stomach. She knew he'd be
leaving this morning and a part of her wanted to bolt quickly before
he woke up just so that she wouldn't have to say the word out loud.
The word that brought her here. The word that made her stomach turn.
The word that made everything too real, too painful, too
final...Goodbye. She shifted slightly under Derek's
embrace. She tried to ease her way out from the tangled sheets that
weren't serving their purpose very well after the events of the
previous night. She stopped moving, her body stiffening as Derek
stirred a little. He stopped and settled back down, his face buried
in the pillow, a hint of a smile on his lips. Meredith slowly
freed her arm from underneath Derek's torso and slid off the bed. She
tiptoed around the room looking for her clothes. She silently cursed
under her breath when she realized her clothes were outside, on the
ground, mixed with the mud and the puddled rain. She made her
way into the kitchen to where Derek's luggage was placed. She lifted
his suitcase and quietly placed it on top of the kitchen table. She
slowly unzipped it and pulled out one of his t-shirts and a pair of
his sweatpants. She slipped his clothes onto her thin frame. The
pants were too big and she had to roll them up at the waist to keep
them from falling. She carefully pulled a piece of paper from
a box beside the table. She scrawled a quick note and set it on his
luggage. She peeked out the window of the trailer and saw their
clothes strung out along the porch and the grass. She saw her tennis
shoes outside the front door. She opened the door and sat down
on the top step. She slipped her tennis shoes on and picked up her
wet soggy clothes from the ground. She left them in a wet pile on the
bottom porch step and she slipped quietly back inside to retrieved a
garbage bag to put her wet, dirty clothes in. She exited the trailer,
stuffed her clothes into the garbage bag and got behind the wheel of
her car. Just like the previous night, she just sat there,
staring at the trailer, unable to move, unable to back out of his
driveway and never look back. She knew this was it. It was now or
never. If she didn't leave now, Derek would wake up and she would
have to say it out loud to his face. And, she couldn't do it. She
couldn't look into his deep blue eyes and say it to him. Sighing,
she put the key into the ignition and back slowly out of the
driveway. She drove in silent shock until she reached the ferry boat
dock. The ferry boat. A constant reminder of Derek. She
pulled her car up the ramp and parked. She didn't get out. The
realization of what she just left behind, struck her to her soul and
she was too over come with emotion to stand at the moment. She
grabbed the hem of Derek's shirt and brought it up to her face,
smelling his sweet, yet masculine scent on the soft material.
"Goodbye" She whispered as tears began to fall and her body
shook as it was overcome with sobs. --------- Derek
woke to the sound of rain tapping lightly against the roof of the
trailer. He opened his eyes expecting the room to be a lot darker and
Meredith to be lying beside him. He jumped out of the bed
frantically, thinking last night was just a dream...just his
imagination holding onto Meredith as though she were real. He
stumbled into the kitchen, half asleep. He glanced out of the window
and saw that his car was the only car in the driveway. He began to
think last night really was a dream. His gaze followed the
ground and he saw a pair of his jeans laying on the ground, halfway
on the porch and half way in a puddle of muddy water. His t-shirt lay
crumpled up at the base of the steps leading up to his front door.
Derek ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head to clear
his thoughts. It was then that he noticed his suitcase, lying on the
kitchen table, unzipped, with a little folded piece of paper lying on
top. Derek picked up the piece of paper and knew he hadn't
been dreaming at all as he recognized Meredith's handwriting. He
expected to read the one word he didn't want to read. The one word
that he was hoping he didn't have to say out loud. The one word that
made everything too real, too painful, too final...Goodbye. Derek
took a deep breath and unfolded the piece of paper. The one word he
didn't want to read was not scribbled on that little piece of paper.
There was nothing painful or final about what he read. In fact, there
was only promise...'don't forget' was all Meredith wrote. And, Derek
knew. He knew that he would never forget.
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6:00 am-
Katie lay in her bed, looking at the door as Charlotte continued to stare out the window. "Hey." Katie said, turning her head towards Charlotte.
Charlotte turned around and walked over to Katie's bed, she sat down in the chair next to the bed and leaned her arms and head on the bed. "Hey." She said.
"You look upset." Katie said, reaching her hand out to touch Charlotte's hand. "What's that?" She asks picking up her hand, examining it. "Is that blood?" she asked, looking in her friend's eyes.
"Uh…" Charlotte said, looking down at her hand, noticing she had a large smudge of blood on her shirt from when she had wrestled with Jacks. "No, I think its chocolate or something." Charlotte said.
Katie lifted Charlotte's hand closer to her. "It smells like blood." She said softly. "I'm a doctor, I know what blood smells like." She suddenly got a look of fear in her eyes. "What aren't you telling me, Charlotte?" Katie asked, her eyes filling with tears.
"I… uh…I need to use the restroom, I can use the one in the room, right?" she asked, indicating the door.
"Charlotte!" Katie exclaimed. "You need to tell me what's going on right this minute, because I had a dream this morning that Jackson came in here and told me that there had been an accident. That Matt was hurt! He was sad, and sounded awful. He was crying. He told me to say goodbye to everyone. He told me to tell you that he loved you. I had that dream and now you have blood on your hand and no one is telling me anything and my dad promised he'd be in here to visit me and he hasn't. What is going on!" She demanded, grabbing hold of Charlotte's arm tightly.
"He told you he loved me?"
"Yes. Now TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?" Katie screamed.
Suddenly, there was a small knock on the door as Derek walked in, followed by Meredith, Rebecca and Mark. Derek's scrubs had traces of blood, all of their faces were sullen and sad, as Meredith stepped forward to Katie's bed. She didn't say anything as she walked to Katie's bed and gently took her hand. Turning her hand around, Meredith gently set something in the palm of Katie's hand and took a small step backwards.
"Sweetheart, we have something very important to talk to you about." Meredith said, as she watched the look on her daughter's face turn from a curious stare, to a look of absolute horror as she stared at the small blue seashell resting in her palm.
"Mom?" Katie whimpered at the sight of the seashell.
"Sweetheart." Meredith said softly as she sat down next to Katie. "You need to stay calm when I tell you this." Meredith said in a calm, even tone, taking her daughter's hand.
"Is he dead?" Katie asked, point blank. There was no emotion on her face whatsoever.
"He is not dead. He's badly hurt, though." Meredith said, her face mirroring her daughter's.
"Can I see him?" Katie asked, still no emotion evident.
"I don't think…" Derek started.
"He's being prepped for surgery sweetheart, he's not awake right now." Meredith said.
"Can I see him?" Katie repeated, exactly as she had said before.
"Katherine." Derek said, softly but sternly.
"I'm sorry." Katie said, looking up at her father, over at Mark and Rebecca and then back to her mother. "I shouldn't have put that in the form of a question." Katie said mockingly. "Take me to see him now." Katie said, her voice stern.
"But he's…"
"Now. I need to see him now, I need to see his chest moving, I need to see his vital signs, Goddamn it Dad, I need to touch his skin, to make sure that its warm! To know that this is real and not a bad dream! Take me to him now!" Katie said as she gripped the seashell tightly in her hand and she started to swing her legs off the bed. Meredith took her hand and helped her to slide off the bed. No one else in the room moved except for Charlotte, who ran to the other side of the room and grabbed a wheelchair.
Meredith helped her daughter into the wheelchair as Mark, Rebecca and Derek watched on, still obviously in shock of the situation with Matthew. Meredith gets behind the wheelchair as Charlotte holds Katie's hand and the three of them leave the room silently, Meredith throws Derek an angry glare as she turns and closes the door behind her.
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Meredith pushes Katie's wheelchair in silence as they head towards the elevator. The hospital is now buzzing with more activity in the early morning hours. Charlotte continues to hold Katie's hand as they enter the elevator in silence and push the button for ICU. The elevator goes down one floor to ICU and Meredith carefully pushes the wheelchair down the hallway to a small room with the door closed. Meredith stops the wheelchair and walks around to the front. She crouches down in front of Katie and takes both of her hands in hers.
"Listen. You're a doctor. You know how sometimes, when you enter a room, you look at a patient in a certain way, where you are able to distance yourself from that person, right?" Meredith asked softly.
"Yeah… Mom, what are you saying?"
"Well… the Matthew that you see behind this door, he's not your Matthew. Your Matthew is a young, healthy vibrant soul that would never be brought down by a fall on a mountain. He has a charming smile, and a warm laugh that makes your stomach flutter. His voice is like a cool summer rain, lightly caressing your soul. When you walk into the room, and you see the tubes and machines that are keeping this man alive, I don't want you to be sad and think that all is lost. Your daddy and I are doing all that we can to bring your Matthew back to you. Do you understand sweetheart?" Meredith said softly as she reached up to caress her daughter's cheek. Katie nodded furiously as she held the little blue seashell tightly in her hand. "Are you ready to go in?" Meredith asked.
"Can I go in alone, please?" Katie asked softly, swallowing hard.
"Of course you can." Meredith said, standing up, holding a hand out for her daughter. "But if you need anything, you call for me, I'll be right here." Meredith said as Katie walked towards the door.
Katie turned around and looked into her mother's eyes. "Thank you mom." She whispered softly, and turned around to enter the room.
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Katie took a step into the room. She closed her eyes, afraid of what she might see. Closing the door behind her, she took a step forward and listened for a moment to the whirring of the machines, the beeping of the heart monitors. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
She gasped at the sight in front of her. Matthew was lying on his back, tubes running this way and that from his body. His hair sticks up under the bandage that is wrapped around his head. There is an overwhelming smell of blood, mixed with a stale, sterile hospital smell as she took a wavering step forward. His arm is in an air cast, his leg is braced. His body is bruised, scratched and battered. She takes two more quick steps to his bedside to get a better look at his face.
His eyes are closed and there is a peaceful look on his face as he lie there sleeping, a sweet angelic expression on his face. Katie places her hand on his chest, feeling the rising and falling of this chest. Feeling his heart beating beneath it, she sighs in relief when she feels his strong heart beating.
"I…I…" Katie started to whisper. "I love you." She says softly as she reaches up and touches his cheek. Suddenly, his heart rate begins to quicken just slightly, just enough for Katie to notice. She smiles as she looks down at him. "You can hear me, can't you?"
She runs her hand across his cheek, and lightly dances her fingers over his lips. "I miss you. I miss your voice." Katie whispered as she bent down and lightly kissed his lips. When she pulled her face from his, she watched as his eyes began to flutter. "Matthew? Are you awake?" Katie asks, her voice shaking as she sees a flash of green as his eyes open just slightly and close again. "Matthew? Butterfly, its Katie." She says as she watches his mouth moving slightly. His lips part and she can hear that he's trying to say something. She bends over him and puts her ear close to his mouth.
At first all she hears is his breathing and then she can hear as his voice is trying to come out. The whisper that she heard made a cold chill run down her spine. "I'm so glad… that…I… got to…. hear… your voice….one … last…last… time." As soon as the whisper had gotten out, his machines began to go off madly, his pulse was racing, his breathing erratic as he began to cough.
"MOM! MOM! GET IN HERE! MOM!" Katie screamed as she sat down hard on the chair next to Matthew's bed as a herd of doctors and nurses invaded the room.
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Meredith works furiously over Matthew, checking his vitals and administering medicine into his IV as Katie sits in the chair beside the bed, her head in her hands as she listens to the doctors bark orders. Finally, his pulse stabilizes and his breathing turns to normal as his body relaxes once again to a sleep like state. Still alive, still breathing, his life still hanging in the balance. After the nurses leave, Meredith crouches beside Katie.
"What happened, baby?" Meredith said, as she held her hand.
"He told me that he was glad to hear my voice one last time, then his machines went off. He can't go into surgery like this, mom. His vitals are so unstable. What are we going to do?"
"We'll just let him stabilize. Do you want to stay in here?" Meredith asked gently. "I can get you a more comfortable chair."
"I would like that very much." Katie said, trying her best to smile through her sorrow.
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Meredith turned to walk out of the room, when something occurs to Katie. "Mom!" She exclaims, jumping from her chair before Meredith walks from the room. "Where is Jackson? He was up on the mountain with Matt, is he ok?"
"Jacks is alive and he's hurt, but in a very different way from Matthew. He went home to get cleaned up. He thinks that you are going to hate him." Meredith said from the doorway.
"I don't hate him. I just need to make sure he's alright. I had a dream about him, before you came in the room. I dreamed that he said he was leaving. He told me to tell everyone that he loved them. You don't think he really left, do you?" Katie asked.
"Leave? Where would he go? Jacks will be ok, he just has to build his courage up a little. He'll be back soon. He loves Matthew." Meredith whispers.
"I miss him too." Katie whispered back.
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Jackson's Car-
"I am never going back." Jackson mumbles as he squeals out of his parent's driveway, his suitcase filled with clothes, his heart full of anger.
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May 9th
2pm- Matthew's Hospital room.
Katie has spent the better part of the day in Matthew's room. Meredith brought her a more comfortable chair and Katie sat by his bedside, watching him breathe for hours, only interrupted now and then by a nurse checking his vitals and for any changes. She talked and talked for hours, hoping that there would be some change. At two o'clock the door opened and Derek walked in quietly.
"Katie-bug?" Derek said softly.
Katie didn't lift her eyes from Matthew's body, she just continued to stare. "What?" she whispered.
"Katie, Rebecca is ready for you to get checked out, for the babies to be examined." Derek replied.
"No." Katie replied. "Not today." She said, continuing to stare at Matthew.
"Sweetie, you need to be examined, you need to make sure that Michael is alright." Derek replied.
"Michael is fine. I can feel him moving. Everything is fine. Just leave me alone." Katie said angrily.
"Katherine."
"Dad.
No. Maybe tomorrow. Not today." Katie said as she continued to
watch him.
"I'll be back in an hour to see if you've changed
your mind." Derek said as he turned to leave.
"You do that." Katie replied, still in a daze.
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Ten minutes later, Rebecca walked into the room. Katie turned to look, because she thought it was her father again. "Oh." She mumbled as she turned her head back to Matthew.
"How is he doing?" Rebecca asked as she stepped forward towards her son's bed.
"Same." Katie mumbled, squeezing his hand in hers. "How are you holding up?" Katie asked politely.
"I'm upset. I'm scared. I've never seen him this beat up before, it breaks my heart." Rebecca says, reaching to touch Matthew's face. "You're taking good care of him. I saw him when we first arrived this morning. I got a lot of my crying out then. I know he'll be alright. He has a lot of love on his side." Rebecca said as she ran her hand over her son's cheek. "Are you ready to get the babies looked at?" She asked softly, trying not to pry.
"No. They're fine. I had them looked at yesterday, they're fine. Just a little quiet. I'll do it tomorrow, I have to be here now." Katie said as she gently placed the little seashell in Matthew's hand and squeezed his hand over it.
"You have to be examined now, Katie, this is important." Rebecca said, a little more stern.
"No, I think that Matthew is just as important. Michael will be fine. He has always been a quiet one. Just let me be here. I'm a doctor, I know what is normal and what is not." Katie said stubbornly.
"Katherine." Rebecca said, grabbing Katie's arm hard. "You need to be examined now."
"No! Leave me alone about it! I will sign a goddamned AMA form if I have to, so just get out of my face, I'll be ready tomorrow." She said as she pulled her arm away from Rebecca quickly, sneering at her.
"You're making a big mistake."
"Touch me again, and it'll be you making the mistake." Katie growled back.
Rebecca took a step backwards towards the door. "You keep it up, and I'll make sure that you're not allowed in this room with my son. You need that exam today. I don't want your stupid brother getting away with killing both my son and my grandson!" Rebecca said angrily as she turned and walked angrily out the door, leaving Katie in a state of shock.
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Katie stared at the door for several minutes, staring in disbelief after Rebecca. Katherine couldn't believe that she had the audacity to speak to her that way, as if she were a child. Katie turned back to Matthew and her heart melted when she was greeted by a set of warm green eyes, sparkling back at her.
"Matt!" Katie exclaimed as she ran to his side. She put her hands on his face and brought her face close to his. She bent down and kissed him on his lips and looked into his eyes, her blue eyes so light they were almost clear as tears began to fall down her cheeks. "You scared the hell out of me! Why did you say that to me? Why would you do that to me? I love you so much!" She exclaimed as she kissed his lips over and over, the last thing she heard from him echoing in her head.
Matt coughed a little, his eyes filled with love and longing. "Not… much… for…drama?" He asks, his voice raspy and dry, the machines still whirring and beeping in the background. "I love you." He says, wishing that he could pull her into his arms and hold her. "How is… the… double… bubble?" He asked, referring to her belly.
"Matty! I missed you so much! They're doing alright, butterfly. You're mother is here."
"I… heard… her. What did she… mean about…. Michael?" Matthew asked, a look of concern crossing his face.
"Nothing. Don't worry. Michael is fine, he's a little wiggle worm, and Ani loves you too, she's been jabbing me all afternoon. I am so happy that you're awake!" Katie said, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Matthew, what's wrong?" She asks, seeing a look of panic cross his face. "Matty?" She says, he can hear the panic in her voice.
"Shh…don't worry… can you…. get… your father…please?" Matt asked, his eyes still filled with fear.
"Why? Why do you need to see him now?" Katie asked. "Is there something you're not telling me?" Katie asks, realizing for the first time that the only thing that he has moved are his lips. She looks down at his hand, and his palm is open, with the little seashell setting on top. He gives no indication that he can feel it there. "I'll…. I'll go get him!" Katie said frantically as she ran for the door. She turned around and ran back to his bed, she kissed his lips. "Don't go anywhere!" She said instinctively, making him chuckle a little.
"I wont… I promise…" He said softly, watching her leave the room as fast as she can.
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May 9,
2032
3:00pm- SGH
Katie ran to the nurses station and had her father paged to Matthew's room. She went back down the hallway quickly to Matthew's room. She walked into the room and his eyes were closed.
"You said you'd wait for me." Katie said as she approached the bed.
"I'm … still here…" Matt whispers, his eyes opening. He smiles a little at seeing her face. He stares at her for several seconds and then a look of worry crosses his eyes. "Where's Jacks? He was… hurt…his hand….and he was… cold…. He wouldn't … take the blanket… where is … he?"
"I haven't seen him." Katie whispered. "Mom said he went home. He was really upset. I'm angry at him. I'm angry at you!" Katie said. "As soon as you're out of this hospital bed, I'm going to put you back in it!" Katie joked.
"It was my… idea… please don't be mad… at Jackson…" Matt struggled to speak, his voice was so raspy, Katie could hardly make it out. "He saved… he….he saved my life."
"He put your life in danger, Matthew." Katie stated simply.
"No. I am… I am an adult… Jacks is too… he is a good…. Great… friend…I need …him here... I need to … tell him… thank you…" Matthew whispered.
"I don't want to talk about it anymore…" Katie mumbled.
Suddenly, Derek came running into the room, followed by Mark.
"Doctors… travel in… packs here." Matt smiled, his eyes moving to Katie's.
"You're awake!" Derek said, a grin spreading across his and his father's face.
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"Yeah. I…am awake…but…" Matthew starts, he glances over at Katie, who is watching him intensely. "Can… you…?" Matthew's eyes shift from Katie to Derek.
"Katie, can you leave the room please?" Derek asks, looking at his daughter's determined face.
"No." Katie responded, glaring at her father.
"Katherine, Matthew wants you to leave. You have to go. You can visit him after I discuss this with him."
"No, I want to know what's going on! I need to know the truth!" Katie exclaimed, starting to get upset.
"Katie…no…I don't… want you to… get upset…" Matthew said, concerned.
"Not knowing is going to make me upset!" Katie said angrily, glaring at her father. "Tell me!" She exclaimed, looking between Matthew and Derek.
"Katie. Please leave. Mark, please take her outside." Derek said, turning to Mark, who had been silent through the exchange, with a look of sadness at his son's condition. Derek turns to Mark. "Mark, please?" Derek says his eyes pleading with Mark.
"Katie, we really think you should go. We'll tell you what is going on, we just need to get the facts." Mark said softly as he reached for her hand.
Katie reared her hand back quickly and stepped forward to her father. "You don't get to tell me what to do!" She turns to Matt. "You either! You will let me stay, because if I walk out that door, I wont come back!" Katie threatened.
"Katie." Matt said, which suddenly made him victim of her glare.
"I'm serious." Katie said angrily to him.
Matt gave Katie one more pleading look, and moved his eyes to Derek, whose expression was one of concern and love. "She can stay." Matt said, giving in to Katie's stubbornness. Katie's eyes softened as she turned to her father before Matthew began to speak again. "Derek… I…can't feel my… arms…. Or my …. Legs. I am very…scared."
"You …you…OW!!" Suddenly Katie felt a sharp pain in her abdomen as she stumbled backwards.
"What's happening?" Matt said, panic in his voice.
Katie stumbles backwards into the chair. "Daddy! Help!" She screams in pain as Derek runs to her side. "Mark! Get someone now!" Derek screams at Mark who is standing dumbfounded at the sight before him.
Derek crouches next to Katie and turns his head to see that Mark is still standing there with a shocked look on his face. "Mark, GO GET REBECCA NOW!" He screams as he turns around to Katie and grasps her hand. She holds onto his hand as if her life depends on it. "Hold on sweetheart, we're going to take care of the pain. Just breathe. Just breathe…." Derek says as he winces from how tight she is holding his hand.
"But daddy…. It… hurts…" She said, sweat starting to fall down her face.
"I know sweetheart, I know…" Derek said as he tried to calm her.
"I'm sorry!" Matt calls, listening, helpless as he lie on the bed, tears flowing down his cheeks. "I love you, Katie!" He cries.
"I love you, Matty!" Katie cries. She takes deep breaths as the pain begins to subside. "I… I think I'm doing better." Katie says after a few minutes as her breathing becomes regular. "I think I should go talk to Rebecca." She says, looking deeply into Derek's eyes.
"You should have talked to me hours ago!" Rebecca says angrily from the doorway as she wheels a wheelchair into the room.
Katie looks pleadingly at her father. "Take care of him, daddy." Katie said as Derek helped her to stand up. She walked over to Matt's bed and looked down at him. "We'll be ok, sweetheart, I'm going to go with your mom, and I'll be back as soon as I know more about the babies. I love you." Katie said softly as she sat in the wheelchair.
"I love you." Matt replied as Rebecca wheeled Katie out of the room.
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Derek looked over at Matthew, who is virtually hysterical I his bed, he can tell that the boy feels like he's a prisoner in his own body, watching the love of his life leave, sad and alone.
"Matthew, you need to calm down, she'll be alright." Mark said softly to his son. "You need to be more concerned with yourself right now."
Derek was a little surprised by that comment, but he understood. His son was lying in the bed, not being able to move, but Derek's heart went out to his daughter too, who is not only going through her own pain and suffering, but also has to deal with the fact that the love of her life can't comfort her in her time of need.
"Matthew, listen. I'm going to need to tell you the results of the tests. You're going to have to calm down." Derek said softly, wiping the tears from his face, trying to get him to listen. He lets him cry, knowing that emotion is his only way to let out his feelings.
"Derek, can you fix it? I want to hold her, Derek. I need to. I need to hold her, and I need to hold my babies. Please, Derek." Matthew cried.
"Based on the tests Matthew, there are two options. Both options are risky. The first one, you would end up being in a wheelchair for the rest of your life, and there is no guarantee that you will regain much, if any mobility, but you'll be alive. The second procedure is much more risky and it has only been done maybe three times, and not in the United States. There is a lot of therapy involved after this surgery, but you could regain full use of your extremities and go on with a normal life, the only problem with that surgery is, first of all, I don't know anyone that could perform it, and second of all, there is a very, very high risk of death." Derek says, concerned. Seeing the look of confusion cross across Matt's face.
"Be paralyzed or die? Is that what you're saying, Derek?" Mark barked at Derek, his eyes angry.
"That's not what I said." Derek said, looking at the rage building inside of Mark.
"Yes you did, you said, 'you're going to either be paralyzed or you're going to die'. Mark said, stepping forward.
"There's no sense in getting angry, Mark. We have options. We need to look at the options." Derek said calmly.
Mark pushed Derek, staring into his face. "That's easy for you to say, you're son is still alive and goddamned kicking, mine can't even piss without help!" Mark screamed.
----------------------------------------
"Mark! Stop it right now! We don't have time to argue of this, it isn't your decision, it's Matthew and Katie's decision!" Derek yells angrily.
"Katie's? Katie's? I don't think that any of your children should be making life altering decisions anymore, especially regarding my son! The first one of yours was too stupid to get herself checked out and ended up being dragged out of the room by my wife, possibly putting the life of her unborn child! The other one is so goddamned stupid, that he dragged my son up the side of a goddamned mountain and dropped him off the fucking side of it! You want to kill him, don't you?" Mark screamed.
"Dad!" Matt exclaimed from his bed, cringing in pain.
"Mark… stop…" Derek said, calmly. Trying not to make Matt any more upset than he already is.
"No! I don't think I will stop! What the hell is wrong with you, that you raised two if the biggest fuck-ups on the planet? Your daughter is a spoiled rotten, little vindictive bitch,that has been brainwashing my son since the age of five! Your son is…"
"DAD! SHUT UP!" Matt screams from his bed. "Derek, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" He yells as he begins to sob again.
"Mark, its time you left!" Derek said as he swung open the door and started to pull on Mark's shirt.
"Don't touch me! This is my son's room! I can stay here!" Mark said angrily stepping farther into the room.
"Your son is an adult, he can make his own decisions, he wants you out. He's the patient and you are compromising his health, get out of here now or I will call security!" Derek said, walking up to Mark, staring him in the eyes.
"Call security." Mark says, glaring harder into his eyes. Derek doesn't miss a beat, he walks to the phone and presses a button. Mark walks over to him and takes the phone, he slams it down on the receiver. He glares at Derek, and he glares at Matthew, who is still crying. "Fine, I'll leave, but I'm not done with YOU yet." Mark says angrily as he pokes Derek in the chest hard, turns and walks out of the door.
As soon as the door is closed, Derek rushes to Matthew's bedside. "Are you alright?" Derek asks as he wipes his tears from his eyes.
"Yeah…" Matt mumbles, "Derek, I need you to help me with something…" Matt said softly, looking into his eyes. "You can't tell my parents." Matt whispered.
"What is it?" Derek said, moving closer to Matthew.
"I want…I want to sign something…for the babies… in case something happens to me, or to Katie… I want something signed to give you and Meredith custody of the babies…"
"Matt…" Derek whispered.
"No, I need this…" Matt said softly. "Please?"
"Matty, nothing is going to happen. You and Katie will both be fine, the babies will be fine. Don't do this to yourself." Derek replied, his eyes filling with tears.
"Derek…I know…how much you… love Meredith… I can feel it… I can see how strong it… is… You have always… taken such care with your…children… you love them … so much…I want to make sure… that my children always… feel that love…I want them… to be that…. lucky…"
"I think you should talk to Katie, Matt. I think that it is very important that you talk to her about this. Your parents will be very upset."
"I don't care… they don't love… Katie like… you and I love… her… You have always… been like…a father to… me…If I die... if something happens to Katie, I want… you to… be a father… to them…" Matthew cried.
"Promise me that you will talk to her, Matty. Promise me." Derek said. "You need to talk to her about the options. I can give you some time to think about it. You're stable right now, but if you choose the second choice, I'm going to have to request another specialist. She's a friend of mine and Meredith's. Would you be comfortable with that?"
"If she… is a friend… of yours, then I trust... her." Matthew said softly, closing his eyes for a moment, then looking straight at Derek.
"Listen, you get rest. I'll go check on Katie and make sure she's doing alright. I love you buddy, I'll do anything I can to get you up and chasing after those kids." Derek smiled.
"Thanks Derek." Matt smiles as he closes his eyes to rest.
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May 10, 2032- 3pm-
Well
I wont back down, no I wont back down
You can stand me up at the
gates of hell
But I wont back down
Jackson looks at the time on the clock, his eyes still narrowed, his speed never slowing. The anger in his heart feels as if it has spilled over into absolute rage. The farther he drives, the stronger he feels. Every time he looks in the rear view mirror, he sees the bruise on his cheek, the scratches from the keys hitting his nose, his red, tear swollen eyes.
Gonna
stand my ground, wont be turned around
And Ill keep this world
from draggin me down
Gonna stand my ground and I wont back
down
Alone, he's alone as he travels on the long highway. He sees a sign for Idaho in the distance on the now deserted highway. He slams on the gas harder, not caring if he is pulled over, or pulled off the road. There's no one to stop him now.
Hey
baby, there aint no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And
I wont back down.
He looks down at his car's mobile phone. It has been going off for two hours now, a steady string of calls ranging from his mother, to Charlotte. He watches as the phone stops vibrating for several seconds. Only to start up again. He reaches over, flips open the glove compartment and throws the phone into it, slamming the glove compartment door on the cord. He reaches over and turns the radio on louder. He thinks that maybe if he plays the music loud enough, he won't hear his heart breaking anymore. "Fuck them all!" He grumbles to himself as he slams harder on the gas.
Well
I know whats right, I got just one life
In a world that keeps on
pushin me around
But Ill stand my ground and I wont back down
