Disclaimer: Whatever

Ok this is something new for me as it is a tag to another story..Tenshi of light21 has written a story called "John's Really Bad Days" which is a spin off of this one. In it as well as original chapters she has taken some of mine and done a spin off from John's POV. Having said that we have been challenging each other back and forth.. Soooooo

This is a tag to her chapter 14, Rodney's Revenge (which was a tag to "No Good Deed"). The first part picks up her story and most (if not all) of the quotes are from there. From the point where John wakes up in the Infirmary then it becomes mine. Confusing ?? Yeah probably a little bit. If you have any questions then just skip over to her story and read it (and while you're at it read the rest they're really good - shameless plug)

So in summary: First part is Tenshi's characters quotes and plot with a few additions, Second part is mine ;D (Oh and "Tag you're it Tenshi !!)

Buttons.

Two weeks earlier...

Rodney had to admit that it was one of his better ideas (and he'd had some great ideas).

He had set a table with two chairs out on an upper balcony overlooking the ocean. A white tablecloth, a single flower in a small vase, a plate of carefully arranged (non citrus) fruit and the twin moons shining across the water. Perfect. And to think that Sheppard had almost torpedoed the whole plan...

"I'm not plant sitting for you to have a date. That's it." John stood and folded his arms.

Rodney hated to grovel. "But then she'll be stuck in the lab...Look how about this. You baby er plant sit and I'll owe you one."

Yeah now he was the one who owed the favor. This arrangement was becoming awfully one sided. It wasn't totally his fault that John's date with Julie hadn't worked out after all. Although it had been fun to chew Wilson out about checking on the age of an animal before you steal it away from it's mother...

It was worth it though. Katie looked gorgeous in the moonlight and it was so nice to relax for a while. It was short lived, however.

Rodney's radio beeped.

"Rodney ? It's Elizabeth."

"I'm here, what's going on ?"

oOo

"Honestly," Rodney thought. "John gripes at me for getting into trouble. I can't even leave him to watch a plant."

Leaving Katie safely back away from the door Rodney approached Ronon and Teyla who were standing at the door to the Botany lab.

"We cannot get into the door," Teyla said handing him a computer tablet. "Radek traced the errors in the climate controls to this lab. It seems that some alien plant roots have got through the ventilation system and is using the controls for it's benefit."

"And no CCTV so we can't see inside," Ronon said.

"Oh, great," Rodney said. "We yanked the cameras to repair other systems. Nothing ever happens in the Botany lab," he added pulling the cover off the door control and plugging his padd in.

oOo

The door opened. Green vines and tendrils stretched across the lab floor. There was the sound of a gunshot as the bullet embedded itself into the plant pot. They could barely see John for all the greenery and then there was this big green bulb with what appeared to be teeth and it had blood on it.

"What the hell is that thing ?!" Rodney yelled as the door closed automatically behind them.

"It's the plant you wanted me to baby sit," John hissed as he stepped back and slid down the wall.

Ronon began to blast away at the plant, forcing the vines away from John while Teyla was also firing her P90 into it, shielding Rodney with her body.

Rodney had plugged his padd into the wall sensor and was typing in commands trying to bring the lights up and the heat down. Neither of which were responding.

"Teyla ! Look out !" John yelled.

Teyla turned but too late as a vine struck her knocking her to the side. Rodney turned wide-eyed, as the vine struck him in his right side.

"Rodney !" John yelled taking aim and firing. partly severing the vine as Rodney fell, screaming in pain. "Crap !" John crawled to his side and turned him over. "Crap !" he said again. Picking up one of Ronon's knives he cut the vine a few inches from the wound.

Rodney was gasping for breath, his eyes squeezed shut in pain. "Oh my God," he kept saying. "It hurts." He coughed and blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth.

"Rodney ! Listen, can you get the door open ?" John was feeling light headed from the plant toxin, his wounds and the oppressive heat. "I think..." he gasped. "I think the plant is...weak...against the light."

Rodney reached for his padd. "Gotta...get the door..."

oOo

It was over a day later before John woke up completely. He stared at the ceiling in the Infirmary playing back the conversation from the previous day in his mind...

"I have him in a medically induced coma..."

John sat up, "Rodney," he said as he collapsed back down onto the pillow, his head spinning.

"Easy," Carson said appearing suddenly by his side. "Stay still."

John looked to his right and saw Rodney still hooked up to the ventilator. John looked at Carson. "How long has it been ?" he asked.

Carson glanced across at Rodney before turning his attention back to John. "Only a day. He's doin' much better. I'm gonna wean him off the sedative and remove him from the ventilator this afternoon. He should be awake soon after that. Although I imagine he won't be too happy. You, meanwhile," he said checking the IV bag. "Need to lay back and rest. You're still recovering from being poisoned."

oOo

"Oh this is so not fair," Rodney said sitting up in bed while John was getting his IV shunt removed so that he could leave. "I do you a favor and I end up being slapped around by irate parents, not to mention almost being eaten by the Matri. Then I try to have one quiet evening and I get impaled by a plant !"

"At least it wasn't trying to eat you," John said. "I was number one on it's lunch menu."

"OK so who owes who now ? I figure this makes us even."

"Oh not by a long shot," John said. "You should owe me double for this one."

"How'd you come to that conclusion ?"

"Did you notice the teeth on that thing ?"

"Did you see the ones on the Matri ?"

"Yeah but the Matri never actually bit you. This thing got a lump of my shoulder and it was poisonous to boot."

Rodney frowned at him. "Fine," he said. "But no more babysitting...anything. Animal, vegetable or mineral."

"Agreed."

oOo

The present...

"You want me to what ?" Rodney said loudly.

"Hush," John said pulling him to the side in the mess hall. "We'll call it even," he said.

"Oh no no no no no no no. You will so owe me," Rodney said as John pushed him towards Yvonne's quarters.

"Are we still keeping track ?"

"Yes and what happened to the "no babysitting" part. Where'd she get the thing anyhow ? I thought that Elizabeth had forbidden any alien pets after that cuddly little bear that SGA 10 found that destroyed Peterson's quarters and half of the Chem lab."

"Well she's had it for a couple of weeks and it's been real friendly."

"You do realize that I'm still officially on medical leave ? I'm not about to get in a fight with a..."

"Shhhh," John said. "It's not supposed to be here, remember." He rang the chime on Yvonne's door.

"Who is it ?" she asked.

"It's me. John."

She opened the door and smiled letting them in. "I really appreciate you minding him," she said.

"I haven't agreed yet," Rodney said. "If it's so well behaved why does it need a sitter anyway ?"

"Oh Buttons does just fine as long as someone's around," Yvonne said. "That's why I alternate shifts with Carol. That way one of us is always here." A small monkey with long black and white fur hopped up onto Yvonne's shoulder. "But he gets into mischief and chews up stuff when he's left alone."

"Isn't he cute Rodney ?" John said.

"He looks like a cross between a marmoset and a skunk," Rodney said.

"It'll just be for a couple of hours."

"It won't be any longer," Yvonne said. "I go on shift at three."

Rodney checked his watch. Twelve thirty. He sighed. "I'm not changing the diaper on that thing," he said firmly.

"I'll do it before we go," Yvonne said. "And he'll be fine."

Rodney stood with his arms crossed and sighed. "There is no way that this will go well," he thought. "What movies do you have ?" he said. "And I want my laptop."

oOo

Thirty minutes later Rodney was beginning to think that it really was a gravy detail. Buttons had curled up in the corner of the couch and settled down for a nap, his long bushy tail wrapped across his face which made him look even more like a skunk.

Rodney had his feet propped up on the coffee table as he sprawled on the other end of the couch. A half drunk glass of milk was on the table by his left arm. His laptop was open on the coffee table running his analysis program and he had the third Indiana Jones movie playing on Yvonne's big screen TV. Ah yes life was good he thought dozing...

The wraith was mere inches from his face. He could feel the pressure on his chest as the loathsome creature began to feed...

Rodney opened his eyes and saw a face surrounded by white hair. He yelled out in shock.

Buttons, who had been sitting on Rodney's chest, squealed in fright and jumped away, dropping the glass of milk that he'd been quietly stealing.

Milk splashed into Rodney's face and eyes and pooled on his chest as the glass clattered to the floor. Rodney leapt to his feet as the cold liquid hit him, knocking his laptop across the table and onto the floor. He stood mopping his eyes with his handkerchief and dabbing at his shirt while Buttons sat on the top of the shelving unit chattering excitedly.

Rodney looked at the mess on the floor and tugged on his shirt. He sighed. "OK. I guess that was my fault," he said picking up the glass and laptop and going into the bathroom to get a towel.

He came back, wiped up the mess and decided to keep the towel handy. Then the TV turned off.

"What ?" he turned to look up at Buttons who was holding the remote control. Rodney stood in front of him and held out his hand. "Give that back you little bandit," he said. "Come on. Give it up...I can't believe I'm standing here arguing with a monkey. Fine. You know what. Keep it. Eat it. Whatever." Rodney sat down on the couch and opened his laptop. It was time to do something more productive anyway.

"Ow !" he said as Buttons launched the remote and it hit him on the side of the head. "Thank you," Rodney said scowling. He checked his watch as he picked up the remote and sat it on the couch. One forty five. "Roll on two thirty," he said quietly.

oOo

John hated to admit it but he was bored out of his mind. He'd picked a spot at the end of one of the piers where the afternoon sun sparkled on the water. They sat on the end of the pier with a blanket and picnic spread out behind them. It was beautiful. Yvonne was beautiful. Her dark hair reflected the light as she moved and he found her enchanting...

But all that she could talk about was the monkey. It was "Buttons likes this.." and "Buttons does that.." and "He's so cute when..." or "I love to brush his fur..." For over an hour now. John was almost ready to suggest that she take Buttons on a date. Almost. Surely she had to run out of monkey material soon...

"And I made this little toy for him. It's so cute..."

John was trying not to yawn. He wondered idly how Rodney was doing...

oOo

Rodney was concentrating on his computer when the TV switched on. He glanced up at Buttons who was in his spot back on the shelving.

"I'm not taking the bait this time," he said. "Keep it."

This time when Buttons threw the remote it landed on the couch next to Rodney.

"What do you two play catch with it or something ?" Rodney said picking it up and putting it on the coffee table.

Less than a minute later the TV switched off. "Not playing," Rodney said continuing with his laptop.

This time the remote hit him on the side of the face...hard. Rodney picked it up and launched it back at Buttons. Now usually Rodney was not real accurate when he threw things. It just wasn't his forte. But this time he managed to hit Buttons smack between the eyes.

That was definately not part of the game.

With a loud screech Buttons launched himself at Rodney with his teeth bared.

"Crap !" Rodney said lifting his hands to shield his face. Rodney yelled out in pain as Buttons clamped his teeth firmly into his left hand. Rodney pushed the monkey away with his free hand and the animal rolled to the floor and then turned towards him, spitting in anger.

Rodney backed up underneath the dining table wrapping his bleeding hand in his handkerchief as he went. He grabbed his laptop and held it up as a shield as Buttons started to throw ornaments around the room.

Just then the door opened and Yvonne entered followed by John.

"Oh thank God," Rodney muttered.

"Baby," Yvonne said as Buttons leapt into her arms. "What did that nasty man do to you ?"

"What did I do to him ?" Rodney said crawling out from under the table holding his wounded hand. "Look what he did to me. He bit me...hard !"

"He wouldn't have done anything if you didn't provoke him," Yvonne said holding Buttons close.

John picked up Rodney's laptop. "Come on," he said. "We need to get you to Carson. I'll er call you later," he said pulling Rodney out of the room.

"Oh you poor baby," Yvonne cooed, her back to the door.

"Did you see that ?" Rodney said as they walked down the hallway. "I swear that thing stuck it's tongue out at me."

"At least something happened with you," John said.

"Oh ? Date didn't go well ?"

"Let's just say I would have done better if I had long black and white fur."

oOo

Rodney met John in the Infirmary waiting room. His hand was bandaged and he was rubbing his arm where Carson had given him a shot of antibiotics.

"Better ?" John asked getting up.

"Oh just wonderful," Rodney said taking his laptop from John. "Hurts like hell and Carson isn't very sympathetic. He did give me some pain pills though," he added as they walked towards the mess hall. "So Yvonne wasn't...er...forthcoming ?"

"She spent the entire time talking about that damn monkey," John said carrying their coffee to the table. "How wonderful he is, how funny, how precious. I've never been so bored on a date," he added sipping his coffee.

"We may have um a problem there," Rodney said looking down into his cup.

"Oh ?"

"Well I had to explain to Carson how I managed to get an animal bite here on Atlantis."

"And you told him...?"

"OK how do you answer "I know a primate bite when I see one laddie. Where'd ya get it ?" hum ?"

"Oh..."

"And he's sure to report it to Elizabeth."

"He has no choice."

"Exactly," Rodney pointed out. "Yvonne will probably have to return it."

"Oh crap !"

oOo

To be continued...?

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Tenshi tag you're it ;D
Debbie