Chapter 49, Part III

Sorry for the delay, couldn't get the chapter worded the way I wanted, and I've been super busy :( Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter. I PROMISE you will be rewarded if you keep reading.

Blue-You were my 600th review! *squee* Thank you so much for reviewing, and for an insightful one at that! I do plan to continue this story, and you definitely hit some things right on the head with your review...but I can't say which and what because I want them to be a surprise *hehehe*. Thank you again for reviewing, and I hope you are pleased with the direction I go in.

And thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed. You make it so much fun to write this story for you, I love reading all the interpretations and thoughts about this story. I really hope, in the end, you all are pleased with there I took this story. Please hang in there, PLEASE...you will be rewarded, I just cannot elaborate how, just yet.


Kate stared off into the dark abyss of the South Pacific Ocean as they sailed toward Los Angeles. Her heart was in her throat, as it had been for at least 15 days, since they had landed in Guam on the Air Force plane Frank had rescued them with. Her knees were tucked tightly to her chest, her wild curls blowing in the breeze, and though she was clean and in new clothes, her thoughts couldn't escape her last sights of the Island and her goodbye with her husband.

She had cried for most of the flight to Guam, Claire, suffering her own worry and distress, had cradled Kate's head against her shoulder, trying her best to comfort the devastated woman. Her tears had dried, mostly from exhaustion and shock as they landed in Guam, Sayid meeting them at the secluded airfield under CIA secrecy. He explained that he had managed to keep documents containing the manifest of the flight Jack and Kate had been on from being allowed into the press' hands, and therefore only the CIA and FBI knew Kate had been on that plane. He asked where Jack was as soon as they de-planed, and she told him what had happened, this time no tears escaped her swollen eyes, her heart dropping at his sympathetic look and embrace. He had comforted her for a moment before turning to the group and explaining their next move.

Since the rest of the group were survivors from flight 815, they needed to be escorted back to the US undetected. A Coast Guard boat would take them to LA, and they were to be shuttled in their separate directions, free to move on as they wished. In some cases they would be given new identities, Sayid explained, as people would wonder how they had survived if they were recognized. Sayid told them if they had any issues, to contact him as soon as they could, and he would handle any rebuttals. They all showered and received new clothing, and then boarded the ship they would call home for the 30 days it took to get to Los Angeles, allowing Sayid time to draw up documents containing identities, and anything needed to keep them safe and under the radar. Jin would meet Sun in LA, who was informed of Jin's return by a phone call by Sayid. Sayid had also made the call to Margo, explaining that Kate would be returning by ship to LA and could meet her at the navy shipyard. When asked about Jack, Sayid played the situation down, hoping, as Kate had said, he would be in Tunisia. Promising to bring him back but not risking her life, Sayid boarded a plane for Tunisia, as they boarded the ship for LA, assuring Kate he would keep her updated of the situation. Reluctantly, Kate had agreed, having an overpowering need to see her children, and to hold Adam, her closest flesh to Jack, close to her.

The last 15 days on the boat had been torture, almost. The meals were satisfactory and the crew was very accommodating, but no good news from Sayid was breaking her heart piece by piece, day after day. She didn't know how to move past not knowing if Jack would arrive home when she did, or what she would do if he didn't.

A small touch to her elbow came as a surprise, but her eyes didn't leave the sea as the southern drawl spoke to her.

"Freckles, when was the last time you ate?" Sawyer asked, concerned, settling down next to her in the darkness.

"Earlier." Was her quiet response and he dropped his eyes to his lap, folding and refolding his hands. He had known this would happen, when Jack had explained his plan to him. She was receding inside herself. He had seen the anger and disappointment in her eyes when Sayid had not allowed her to travel to Tunisia, but he had agreed. She needed to go home to Adam, and to sort the situation with Aaron out. Jack would arrive when Jack arrived, if he did, as Sawyer worried down deep. He worried the doctor wouldn't be there to greet Kate off the ship, and he worried what would happen if he didn't. He would look out for her as best he could, but once he arrived back in town with Juliet, he didn't know where their life would take them. They needed jobs, and money, a place to live. He would watch out for Kate as best he could amongst all that, but Juliet had to come first now. Carrying his baby, she needed his attention, first and foremost. Kate was strong, he knew that. He just hoped she remembered it.

"Kate, you need to eat," he nudged her gently, but her gaze never faltered.

"I'm not hungry, Sawyer. I'll eat later." She was set in her ways and he sighed heavily. There was no use in trying to convince her to eat; she was about as stubborn as they came. He would just have to accept that she would take care of herself.

"Don't worry, it'll all work out for the best," Sawyer comforted, rubbing the petite woman's back. She didn't lean into him, simply kept her knees tucked and her eyes strained out to the dark sea. She was different from the Kate he had known in the beginning; the Kate who would take on anything, no matter how dangerous, and never allowed anyone to see that she really cared about someone else. She always tried to appear indifferent, but he had always known better. Now, however, everything she felt was displayed on her distraught features, and she made it clear she had grown and changed from independent to dependent.

"Yeah," her voice was cold and tired, and he could tell from the circles under her eyes, she probably wasn't sleeping. He stared at her for a moment before standing.

"All right, I'll leave you be. Don't stay out here to long, you'll catch cold." He turned to go, and worried about the young woman he left behind on the deck.

Kate sat in her spot, worrying, not even noticing Sawyer's departure. Her heart lay in her chest, beating wildly every time she thought of him, her anxiety strong. Where was he? Was he safe? Was he on his way home? So many unanswered questions pegged her mind, and she tried over and over again to comprehend their last few minutes together. She tried so hard to understand all that had happened, what his plan had been, but in the end, as much she knew she was supposed to support him, like their marriage vows said, she was angry because she didn't understand why he would choose to leave their family and risk his life doing something so drastic. She understood his nature, his desire to 'fix' certain things, but why this? Why now? She hugged her knees tighter as a tear slid down her cheek. All she could do was keep hoping and praying he'd be on that dock when they arrived in LA. She couldn't think past that moment.


The last fifteen days were the longest of Kate's life, she was sure of it. As she stepped down the steep ramp that was secured from the large vessel to the military dock, her breath was hitched, praying she'd see a familiar face as she disembarked. Her eyes were wide, scanning the surrounding area, and hoping with more hope than she ever thought she had, that Jack would be waiting just around a corner, and making his way to her right at that moment.

When she rounded the corner, however, Margo met her instead, the woman's long, black raincoat covering her immaculate clothing from the rainy Los Angeles weather. Her eyes were warm and had a weary tint as she turned from Sayid to face Kate, absorbing the young woman in. She wrapped her arms around Kate, who, thankful for the familiar face in her normal life, embraced her. This time was so much different than the last, she thought sadly to herself, as the mother of her husband held her tightly. Kate abruptly pulled back though when she realized the person she most needed to see wasn't standing beside his mother.

"Where's Jack?" her voice held the worry as her eyes moved from Margo to Sayid. Margo's eyes were sad and understanding, while Sayid's look apologetic.

"Kate, I had teams patrolling the whole country looking for Jack. I'm not sure how he was supposed to end up there, but he never did. We looked everywhere." As he spoke, Kate's heart dropped to her feet. She shook her head adamantly. "Kate, I'm so sorry." He tried to touch her arm gently but she pulled away harshly.

"No. He has to be there, we have to go back and look for him!"

"Kate, sweetie—" Margo reached for the distraught wife of his lost son but she yanked away and Margo could easily read the pain across her features.

"No! He's not gone. We have to go find him!" She needed to get there herself, if she could just get to Tunisia, then maybe she could find him. She was convinced. Sawyer stood off with Juliet and the rest of the survivors and moved quickly to Kate's side.

"Sayid, you mean you didn't…," Sayid shook his head, defeat across his features, and Sawyer looked to Kate and recognized the wild, determined look she held.

"Freckles, I'm so sorry," his voice was gentle as he pulled her into his arms. She settled there, still shaking her head slightly.

"No, no, this isn't happening, he's still out there. We have to find him." Her voice was quiet now, and it was evident shock was settling in. Sawyer rubbed her back for a moment, exchanging a glance with Sayid.

"I have the base there keeping an eye out for him. If he shows up, I'll be the first to know." He couldn't tell her Jack was dead, he had no proof. But in his heart, he didn't know where else the man would be, besides on the bottom of the ocean with the Island.

Margo reached out for Kate and Kate stepped back from Sawyer, her eyes still wide with unsureness. She nodded at Sayid before Claire moved around Sawyer. The issue of Jack set aside, but not forgotten, Kate introduced Claire to Margo, emotionless.

"Margo, this is Claire Littleton, Aaron's real mother. Claire, this is Jack's mother, Margo Shephard." The two woman assessed each other, Claire clearly intimidated by the dark-haired woman. But surprisingly, to Kate and Claire, Margo pulled the blonde woman into a hug, embracing her tightly.

"I'm so sorry for all you've been through," Margo spoke quietly. Claire wasn't sure how to respond to the embrace, but softened against Margo, accepting it. When she had learned she and Jack were siblings, she had always felt remorse and anger toward Christian for not taking care of her like he had Jack, and for doing what he did to his real wife and child. Her mother and Christian had never been married, she had been an accident, but had always longed for him to love her like she thought fathers should. Now it made sense though, knowing he'd had another family. And now, being embraced by Jack's mother made it all the more real for her. When Margo pulled back, she looked over the blonde woman, and gave her a tearful smile. "It's so nice to finally meet you." Margo could see Christian in the Claire, and it broke her heart a little to know that he, along now with her son, was still gone. For all the things he'd done, she still missed him like hell. Being married to someone for over 40 years could do that to a person. Claire nodded, giving the taller woman a small, but bright smile.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well." After another moment, Margo's attention turned back to her daughter-in-law, who was watching, tears streaming down her face, the tearful reunion between Jin and Sun Kwon.

They were embracing, crying, and speaking words only they understood. Ji Yeon stood quietly behind Sun, and a sob escaped Kate's throat as Jin bent to the little girl and she tentatively moved into his arms, tears streaming down his own face. A hand covered her mouth as Margo moved to her side, wrapping an arm around Kate's small shoulders.

"That's supposed to be Jack and Aaron," she cried, fresh tears spilling down her blotchy cheeks. Margo could feel her own tears coming, but tried to hold them back for Kate. Sayid had explained to her all they had been through, and she knew that saying goodbye to Jack must have been the hardest thing Kate had ever done. She wasn't sure she could believe Jack was still alive, but she didn't want to accept his death either. She'd already had one memorial service for him, were they supposed to put on another?

"I know, baby, I know," She comforted Kate, pulling her into a tight embrace. There was something about Margo that had always been so supportive and comforting for Kate, and right now she was glad for their relationship as she cried into her mother-in-law's shoulder. How could this have happened? How could Jack have done this to her? She couldn't believe he was dead, not now, not yet. This wasn't happening. How could he have just left her alone like this? He had a son, a life with her. She couldn't control the cries as she sobbed, and for a moment felt all the hope and life she had drain out of her. Without him, who was she?


When Margo opened the door to her house, the light in the living room was the only light on. Veronica stood from the couch as Kate, Claire, and Margo made their way into the house. Veronica embraced Kate, before Kate quickly moved off and up the stairs to the guest room where the children were asleep. Veronica, concerned, looked to Margo, her eyes questioning and Margo simply shook her head. Veronica's head dropped in sympathy for a moment before Margo introduced their house guest to the nanny, who she then paid for her time. Veronica said her goodbyes and left the devastated family to their own turmoil as she exited the house. Margo made Claire a cup of tea as they let Kate mourn for a few moments by herself.

Kate opened the door to the guest bedroom and stopped in her tracks. Aaron was sleeping soundly in the light blue covered bed, and Adam was snuggled beside him in the crib Margo had bought for her house when Adam had been born. Kate could feel the warm prickle of new tears as she watched the babies sleep, feeling as though a gaping hole lay in her heart. Closing the door, she wanted a few more moments with Aaron alone, before she knew she would have to begin helping the relationship between him and Claire, his biological mother. The term hurt Kate's heart. Things would be easier if Jack were here, she thought silently as she touched the boy's blonde hair. Sitting next to him on the bed, she ran a hand over his soft head and down his face, touching his soft, little ear. The small light next to the bed illuminated the small child's face, and she wondered what he thought of her, them, since they had never called him while they were gone. Her heart actually hurt as she stared at her baby, Claire's baby. She had no idea how they would get through this, how she could ever explain to a four year old that she wasn't his real mother, though she was the only one he knew. Tears cascaded down her pale cheeks as she stared at the blonde child. Closing her eyes tightly, she wished none of this had happened. Their trip, leaving the children alone, any of it. She wanted her husband back, wanted to keep her son, and wanted to go on living their wonderful, normal life. Holding in a sob, she sniffled, standing, moving to Adam's crib and staring down at his small, angelic face. Touching the soft fuzz on his head, she realized how much he truly looked like Jack. He had her nose, but he carried Jack's eyes, and the shape of his face. His hair, or what he had so far, was dark like Jack's, and she knew he would be a spitting image of his father. It killed her inside, not knowing if he would ever meet Jack. She didn't want to think about it, wanted to pretend Jack would walk through the door any minute. At this moment, in all her devastation as she stared at her babies, all she could think was how much she missed Jack already and how he wouldn't be there for all of the important things in their lives. Adam was only 6 months old, he would never even grow up knowing his father. As she cried, she slowly sunk to the floor, snuggling Aaron's discarded toy Shamu close to her chest. It reminded her of when they'd purchased it for Aaron, bringing a fresh set of tears to her eyes. She couldn't even take in what had happened. Closing her eyes, and holding her head on the plush animal, she sobbed for all that she had, didn't have, and the uncertainty of it all. Where was he? Was he coming back? Her fear and anger flooded her and she cried because of it. She didn't know what to do.

Margo shuffled around the house, setting up the other guest bedroom for Claire, allowing the younger woman to settle into her unfamiliar surroundings alone with her tea. It was awkward, there was no doubt, but she wasn't ready to bond with the young woman yet. She made her feel welcome, told her to feel at home, and she would do anything to achieve that, however she wasn't ready to have the conversations yet. She was still mourning inside over he son. Sayid had called her many times while he was in Tunisia, and she had been prepared for the news when he had explained what had happened. In her mind, her son was a hero, whether dead or not. It devastated her, as it did Kate, to think he was dead, and she was having trouble believing it was true. She'd shed her tears, and was trying to be strong for her daughter in law, who she knew was going to crumble if it was in fact true he wasn't coming back. Thought put a pain through her heart and she paused to compose herself. She wanted to be mad at him for doing this again, and kept hoping he'd walk through the front door and she could yell at him and tell him how inappropriate it was to scare people so close to him like this, but he was worried it wouldn't happen. Making her way up the stairs to look after Kate, she prayed for strength for the young woman. She knew they would have to figure out a solution with Aaron and Claire. She knew that would have happened whether Jack had come back or not, but now Kate had to live with the disappearance of her husband and the difficult situation of possibly having to part with the child she had raised. Sighing, she pushed open the ajar door, and leaned against the doorframe at what she saw. Kate was curled up on the floor, a stuffed whale against her chest, sound asleep, the children sleeping in their respective beds. Shaking her head at the unfortunate, unfair situation, Margo picked up a soft blanket from the back of a rocking chair and draped it over the exhausted woman. She couldn't bring herself to wake her and make her relive her reality right now. Standing up, the checked the babies and then exited the room, closing the door quietly.

She found Claire getting settled in her guest room. She was fidgeting, moving things about, trying to get herself situated. Margo knocked quietly and Claire jumped when she turned. She gave a small smile to the young girl.

"You doing okay?" She asked quietly. Claire gave a meek smile and nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. It's just weird to be back." Her voice was so quiet Margo could hardly hear her.

"If you'd like to call anyone, you're more than welcome to." Margo suggested, pointing to the phone. Claire glanced than way and then downcast her eyes.

"Thank you. I'll call eventually." She paused before looking back up at her father's wife. "Everyone really thinks we're dead, don't they?" She asked, her voice shaking. Margo nodded, stepping a few feet into the large room.

"Yes. They did it for the protection of the Island. I'm sure they explained that to you?"

"Yeah, they did, it's just hard to believe my mother thinks I'm dead." Margo placed a hand on Claire's shoulder.

"She'll understand. She'll just be so happy to have you home." Margo reasoned with a small smile. "Any mother would be happy for that." Claire knew she was speaking of Jack and nodded, understanding her thoughts. "Can I get you anything else, sweetie?"

"No, thank you." As Margo turned to leave, she called out, stopping her. "Thank you for this, letting me stay here. I know it's awkward and all, but I really appreciate it." Margo gave Claire a real, genuine smile and nodded.

"You're welcome. You're Jack's sister. You're a part of the family. He wouldn't have it any other way." She knew it wasn't Claire's fault, Christian's affair. She couldn't blame her for his mistakes. And Jack would accept her, he had already, how could she not? Wishing Claire goodnight, she closed the bedroom door and leaned against the wall for a moment, praying for strength. How would she and her family get through this? Sucking in a shaky breath, she continued down the hallway to her own bedroom, shutting off lights as she went. She craved sleep, as escape from this constant nightmare, but worried about what she'd wake up to in the morning. Closing her door, she sighed heavily. How would they get through this?


Do you guys hate me yet? Please don't! Prove you don't with reviews! I could use the encouragement and maybe you'll even get something good out it on your end…hehehe. Thank you in advance!

Got some good stuff coming next chapter!