...Not really much to say?
I did some math and as it turns out I've written approximately 151,000 words.
OF BILLDIP.
IN LIKE, 2-3 MONTHS.
I need a life.
-Fly ;D (jk Ii don't need a life, THOSE ARE OVERRATED XD)
Kytheres Requested...
I had another thought-Bill finding Dipper during the whole 'I want to be more manly' episode, and Bill is laughing his butt off, and Dipper sees him and he gets so flushed, and the manotaurs are like, "Who is that man?" and Dipper's like... "That would be my boyfriend. Men, I have to leave so I can have a kissing fest with said boyfriend. Be back in an hour- no, two- make that three hours!"
And the manotaurs are just like, "You're fired, kid." Dipper just leaves to go have the kissing fest and never comes back to "complete his training," and then they go and hang out with the Multi-Bear and have a dance-off with him.
My Response...
Oh my fucking god. WHY ARE ALL YOU GUYS SO BRILLIANT? AAAHHHHHHHH!~ Yes, this sounds like a blast. Thank you again for the amazing idea.
P.S: This is an AU where 'Dipper VS Manliness' takes place when Bill and Dipper are together.
"Its just... you guys took me under your wing, and have just been so supportive!" Dipper let out a long sigh, resting his back against the stone rim of the sauna. The manotaurs may have been masters of exercise but they sure did know how to relax!
Chutzpar- His mentor- Waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, stop." He laughed, shaking his head.
Dipper wouldn't let it go so easily. "No, you know what? You really have been. I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here." He admitted, glancing down at his chest. Even in the distorted glare of the steamy water, he could tell there wasn't a single hair. Soon, he thought excitedly.
"Not yet, Destructaur. One final task remains..." The cave went silent, and a breeze blew in through a hole someone probably punched in the wall.
"The deadliest trial of all..."
-=[0]=-
"WHAT!?" He screamed, shaking his head wildly. If he felt naked, cowering from the disapproving stares of the manotaurs. "I... I can't!" He hastily hid his flushed face behind the rim of his hat.
Leaderaur gave a mighty roar before responding. "YOU MUST GO GET YOURSELF A LADY!" He demanded, basking in the cheers his followers showered him in. "MAN! MAN! MAN!"
For a moment, the boy swore he saw a flash of gold in the crowd. It was brief, just a glimpse- He'd probably imagined it. "N-no, you don't understand!" His tone was distressed, trying to relay a message he was too afraid to put into words. "I actually can't, you guys! I'm-"
"HEY, PINE TREE! Lookin' goooood!~" The voice was teasing, high-pitched and all too familiar. A few manotaurs parted in the middle of the crowd, allowing a lanky teen to make his way through. "Though I must admit, those tattoos were a bit of an overkill." The mystery man shot a smirk at the leader, who seemed to be at a loss for words. "They wash off, right? Just a dab of soap, scrub-a-dub-dub?"
Dipper had a sudden urge to run away as fast as he could. "B-Bill?" He squeaked, trying desperately to cover more of himself. The clothes the manotaurs had provided were pretty revealing, and awfully itchy. "What're you even DOING here!?" He tried to keep his voice hushed, but the man showed no interest in keeping secrets.
Bill raised his eyebrows, striding closer to the quivering child. "Why, my little sapling! I came to check up on you, of course." He stopped right in front of him, ruffling his chestnut hair with a velvety gloved hand. "In person, this time!"
Leaderaur seemed to have snapped out of his trance, watching with a mix of curiosity and anger. "Who is this man, Destructaur?" His confusion was quickly replaced by a teasing grin, noticing the way Bill was acting. The boy was sweating from every pore, mortified and helplessly quiet. "Destructaur?"
The yellow-clad teen collapsed onto his knees, laughing uncontrollably. "DESTRUCTAUR!?" He asked smugly, eye squinted shut as he snickered. "You mean Pine Tree?" This seemed to be the funniest thing to him, and Dipper didn't know whether to be offended or just as amused. It was a pretty unfitting name, but in the heat of the moment it was all he had.
A manotaur in the mob grunted in frustration, rolling his eyes at the dishonour of the golden teen. He couldn't just burst In there and make fun of their trainee! "Dipper the Destructaur has passed almost all of our man trials! He now must go and find himself a lady to call his own!" He spoke with confidence, but the pride in his eyes vanished as Dipper shot him a terrified glance. Had he said something wrong?
Silence washed over the cave as Bill stumbled to his feet, all signs of humour fleeting in favour of the fury building in his chest. "What did he just say?" He growled, surprisingly quiet. Dipper tried to say something, anything but right now he was too petrified to do so much as blink in surprise. The look in his eyes was menacing and possessive and oh god he was in so much trouble...
In the corner of his eye he saw the glint of blue flames. Bill was red with rage, clashing with the cobalt fire and he knew he only had seconds to calm the demon down. "This is my boyfriend, actually." He said calmly, ignoring the twisting in his gut. "Now if you excuse me, I owe him a little... Attention." He flinched, realizing that it probably sounded more suggestive than intended. Heck, even Bill was silent, so he must've done good. The awkwardness of the situation was easily made up for by the priceless looks on the manotaurs' faces. "I'll be back in an hour-"
Bill was already dragging him through the crowd, eyes set on the mouth of the cave. "Two." He snarled, pacing faster. "Two hours, no less." He wasn't too sure if he could promise 'no more'.
"Make that three-EEK!" He screamed as the demon teleported them out, sick of the monsters' attitudes. Bill still wasn't entirely calmed down, not one bit. His fist clenched tightly around the boy's wrist as they appeared in the forest, far away from the mountains. If those creeps were going to shame him like that, they could all go suck a-
"Thanks, Bill." Dipper's cheeks were tinted a delightful pink, which only deepened at the sight of the demon's glaring. "Er, uh... I mean... Sorry, Bill." His shoulders slumped over with shame. "I wasn't gonna... I mean, I-"
He was cut off by a hard kiss, more hungry than soft but still just as enjoyable. There was romantic, cuddly, 'you're my favourite meat sack' Bill, and then there was demonic, jealous, 'don't even talk to girls' Bill. Right now, he was the latter, and it was a shockingly pleasant shake-up.
He returned it with lustful force, smiling gently into the kiss when the demon hummed back. After being teased about it for so long, he finally found the confidence to return the teen's dominant style and before he knew it he tasted blood on his lip.
He found himself gasping for air, which was hard considering his lips were still being held against the demon's. He had to push the other off to finally breathe, doubling over and coughing in attempts to inhale. Bill offered him an arm, which he gladly clung to as he recovered.
The man was content with the result. He'd have to be careful, from now on... Pine Tree was too troublesome, even when he wasn't trying to be. As a demon, he'd always been possessive, but as time went on and their relationship got more and more serious he just got worse. Dipper avoided conversation with most people, but he'd always find a way to screw up. Besides his family and a few others, he was constantly restrained in fear of the demon freaking out. It was kinda unhealthy, sure, but he gladly did it for Bill.
"Let's go visit my... Er, friend." Bill wrapped his other arm around the boy's waist, pulling him into a warm hug before vanishing again. There was another mountain in Gravity Falls, taller than the manotaurs' and a lot scarier. He did enjoy the look of fear on Dipper's face but right now it just seemed a lot more convenient to teleport to the top.
They reappeared in another cave, this one far more welcoming and smelling of roses. There was a loud roar as a shadow creeped in from the darkness, like a (hopefully gentle) giant. It quickly shrank back into the depths of the cave as soon as he came into view, but for a moment they saw what looked to be multiple heads. "Oh, Bill! Come in!" It growled warmly, without any danger or sarcasm. It seemed genuine enough, especially with the smell of green tea coaxing them in.
The demon followed happily, carrying Dipper along. "Multibear, how good it is to see you!" He flashed a cheesy grin, releasing the boy from his hold and letting him flop to the ground. "Whoops." He added, stifling giggles. "You seem to have buttered me up earlier, guess 'ya slipped from my grasp."
The boy stuck out his tongue, pulling himself up and dusting off his... Well, could you even call that clothing, or was it a furry apron? "H-Hi... I'm, uh, Dipper." He held out his free hand, still patting himself clean with the other. The bear(s?) gave him a sceptical look, nodding towards his paw. "O-Oh, right, hah."
If it weren't for the threat of Dipper storming out, the demon would've been on his ass laughing. Okay, so it wasn't as funny as the incident from earlier but it was definitely one of the better moments in his day. "Now, Multibear, you guys have a lot in common! Wait 'till you hear about his albums, Ii tell 'ya..."
"BILL!" Dipper hid his face in his hands, feeling the burn of his blush on his palms. "Shut up."
Then came the grizzly voice, (Pun intended) soft and somewhat reassuring. "I like Babba too, actually..."
-=[0]=-
Their day with the bear was oddly calm, drinking homemade tea and casually chatting about day-to-day forest events. The boy never knew there were so many races in the woods! From centaurs to pixies, mutant animals (such as Multibear himself) to LITERAL fireflies! Bill liked those, according to his excited expressions whenever they came up. "They set stuff on fire! Isn't it great!?"
It was strange, like something from a dream- Then again, this was all Bill's idea. For all he knew, it could've been.
Evening rolled around and they were dancing, Babba echoing through the dreary cave as they pranced around carelessly. It was a joyous event, a bear, demon and boy putting their differences aside and just having a good time.
If anyone ever told Dipper this is what he'd be doing over his summer, he'd have laughed.
Then again, most would've too.
He never did end up returning to finish his training- If men couldn't dance with supernatural creatures in the light of the moon, than he was perfectly happy staying who he was.
Not to mention Bill would tear him limb from limb. That was a key factor, too.
Oh man, guys, sorry this one's so short.
I can't write dance scenes, so I kinda rushed that part.
Hopefully it was okay anyway! I just wrote the next chapter to 'A Pinch Of Spice' so my mind's like EVERYWHERE!~
IT'S LIKE I'M ON SOME MINOR VERSION OF SMILE DIP.
-Fly :3
