Okay, so, tell me what you think. This is an exciting chapter and very important, so read it. And also...so many feels!
I shot up in bed, breathing hard from my dream. I wasn't quite sure what had woken me up at first until I heard it again. A pained whimper, followed by a groan coming from the room next to mine. I slid out of bed, softly padding out of my room and to the door next to mine. It was unlocked, as he liked to keep it that way in case anything happened. I slowly pushed it open, finding Steve tossing and turning, the sheets kicked off onto the floor as he whimpered again in his sleep.
"Buck, no." He breathed out before rolling over so he was facing my direction.
As I got closer, I could see the sweat that had formed on his skin, his t-shirt sticking to the perspiration.
"Steve?" I whispered softly, still standing over him. "Steve?" I tried a little louder.
I reached my hand out to touch his shoulder, when his hand shot up, grabbing my wrist. It wasn't a tight grip, but firm enough to prove a point. His eyes snapped open, moving around the room before settling on my face. It took him a moment, but the fog cleared, and he released my wrist. He rolled over on his back and I sat down on the side of the bed.
"Nightmare?" I asked as he wiped the sweat from his brow.
He nodded, clearing his throat. "During the war."
Most of his nightmares took place before he froze. Things during the war, things before the war. He usually didn't go into too much detail, but it was his choice whether he wanted to tell me or not. I certainly didn't tell him all of my dreams and nightmares. Like the one I was just having before he woke me up.
"Well, I'll go back to bed, knowing you're okay." I went to get up, but a hand on my arm stopped me.
"Stay, just for a little bit?" I couldn't say no to the look on his face. So I laid down on my back next to him so we were shoulder to shoulder.
"His name was Bucky." Steve said after a few moments of silence. "He was my best friend." Steve told me about Bucky, and what happened in the war, and how he saved Bucky from HYDRA. "I should have gone looking for him. I shouldn't have just left him there. What if he was still alive, but died there because I didn't look?"
"Hey." I said, turning to face him. "He fell hundreds of feet from a train. It's probably better you didn't find your best friend's body. At least this way that's not the last memory you have of him. You can still remember the good times."
He smiled a little and I rolled back over on my back. "You're right. I always wonder what happened to all of them after the war. I know we won, but I don't know who else we lost, how many we lost. Life would have been so different had I not been on that plane. Had I not been frozen alive."
"A lot more people would have died, had you not done what you did." I said, squeezing his hand. "Life would be different now if you didn't sacrifice yourself back then."
"I wouldn't have you." He said, and I felt his eyes on me. I kept my eyes on the ceiling, thinking back to my dream.
I felt the words leave my mouth, but I couldn't hold them in. "What are we Steve?"
"What do you mean?" He asked, turning to look at me.
I knew what was coming, but I couldn't stop the words. "I mean, we were friends I guess, and then we're kind of dating, but we're also roommates, and...I don't know."
He was silent for a moment, but this time I wasn't scared. I knew what was coming. "What do you want us to be?" He asked finally.
It was silent for a moment. I knew what I was going to say, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to say it. I knew what would happen when I did, I didn't have that to worry about, but it was still nerve wracking. What if my dream was wrong, and he didn't feel the same way. I didn't know if I could handle that kind of rejection. I swallowed my nerves, finally deciding to go with what I knew. "I care about you.'More than I should, probably, but I don't care. Every time you leave on a mission, I'm scared you won't come back. I'm scared every phone call is Nat telling me you're dead, or its SHIELD telling me you're MIA, or you were kidnapped. But I can't stay away. Ever since the first time you kissed me, I've known there's something between us. There's a connection, unlike anything I've ever felt. It almost feels like..." I trailed off, wanting to see if I was right.
"Like magic?"
I couldn't help the smile. "Yes. Exactly." I turned my head so I was looking at him. Even in the dark I could still see his eyes shining. "And I don't ever want it to end."
He cupped my cheek, leaning forward to kiss me. "Good. Because I don't want it to either." He whispered against my lips.
I rolled on my side, our kiss becoming more and more heated. For being on ice for 70 years, he still knew what he was doing. Or I was just inexperienced. That could have been it too.
Steve went to roll over, but I stopped him, taking a moment to breathe. "As much as I want to, I don't want to move too fast. I just want to take it slow and steady, and do what feels right."
Steve nodded, smiling at me. "Good. I can respect that. Otherwise your dad will squash me like a fly."
"He did say that, didn't he?" I said.
Steve pressed his lips against mine again. "Tell me you'll be my girl.' He whispered against my lips before pulling away so he was looking at me. "Tell me you'll be mine."
I smiled, tracing his jaw, up to his cheekbones. "I'll be your girl." I pecked his lips. "I'll be yours."
He kissed me again, cupping my cheek in his hand before he broke away, sitting up. "Stay with me tonight?" He asked, looking down on me.
"Of course." I said, making myself comfortable.
Steve pulled the blankets back on the bed, covering us up before he turned so his back was to me. I snuggled up to his warm, muscular back, not able to wipe the smile off my face. I threw my arm over his waist, snuggling closer if that was possible. He laced our fingers together, kissing my knuckles before I fell back asleep, more comfortable than I'd been in a long time.
