Here's the latest chapter, re-vamped and re-uploaded. More info, better reading. I for sure didn't like the way the other one came out, so you all get to benefit from me going back and making this work.

Inspired by Florence + The Machine's Shake It Out.


Shake It Out

Erin Shepard leaned backwards against the cool black leather of the shuttle, closing her bright blue eyes in relief. Across from her, Kasumi was chuckling quietly, but the thief seemed exceptionally quiet, which Shepard could understand. They had just gone on a dangerous mission to steal back something exceptionally valuable to Kasumi: a gray box.

The gray box in question was resting in Kasumi's hands, and as they cleared the atmosphere, Shepard looked at it. This little device had been embedded in the head of her old partner and lover, Keiji. Silently, the two women made eye contact before Shepard stood to help her teammate hook the device up.

As the gray box activated, Erin couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable. This information was not only extremely sensitive, but very personal. While the audio was streaming to Kasumi's visor, Shepard could still see some of the images that Kasumi was seeing. Even with the audio disconnected, it was clear that Kasumi was being given a choice; the data or the memories.

With the choice laid before her, Kasumi glanced away for a moment to wipe away the glittering tears that had streamed down her cheeks. Gently, Shepard stepped forward. "Is there any way we can just destroy the information?"

"No," Kasumi admitted with some pride in her voice. "Keiji's a master at encrypting files. He laced the information into his memories. You can't get one without experiencing the other."

Pausing for a moment, Shepard tried to weigh the two options. Certainly Keiji wanted the information destroyed, and it would make sense to respect his dying wishes. If they kept it and the data got in the wrong hands, the Alliance – the organization that had saved Shepard from a life on the streets so many years ago – would be implicated in something horrible. Just as the brunette opened her mouth to speak, another thought flashed through her mind.

Garrus.

It was impossible to imagine how he felt without her for two years, and now Shepard found herself wondering what she would do in Kasumi's place. If the only memories she had of Garrus were on a small gray box that also held damning evidence, there would be no question as to what she would do.

Shepard snapped her mouth shut and nodded at Kasumi. "If it's that important to you, keep it. Just make sure you're ready to live with the consequences."

A look of relief seemed to cross the thief's face as she moved to the window. "Yeah, I am. I'll stay off the grid. No one will know I exist."

Together the two women sat across from each other, and for the first time since the mission began, Kasumi flashed Shepard a genuine smile. "I think I want this…Thanks, Shepard."

Even as Kasumi activated her visor and dove back into the memories, Erin stared at the stars outside. It wasn't always easy to know what the right thing was…it was a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't. If she asked Kasumi to destroy the gray box, it would hurt her friend to a degree that Shepard didn't want to think about. But keeping the gray box was dangerous as well, especially since it contained sensitive information.

Leaning back, the spectre sighed and closed her eyes. Nothing in life could ever be easy, could it?


Garrus was completely stunned. Certainly he had seen Shepard in formal wear before, but nothing like that. Even Joker was still talking about it, the pilot's bright green eyes shining up at where the Turian stood behind him. "I mean, seriously Garrus, that shouldn't have been legal! Any shorter and the Council would have had to weaponize it!"

"Yes, I know." Growled Garrus. Certainly the crew wasn't fully aware of the true nature of the relationship between the two, but it always irked Garrus when Joker made comments like that. Certainly it was all in good fun, but still.

A small notice pinged, drawing the attention of both boys. Joker brightened and spun his chair around in time to see Shepard striding into the CIC deck in full battle armor. "Hey Commander, what happened to that dress of yours?"

"I scrapped it." Quipped the commander unceremoniously. She offered them a smile, but it seemed…solemn somehow. "Joker, get us somewhere we can refuel…Omega would be fine."

Although she only offered the Turian a quick glance, Garrus seemed to sense something was wrong and as his bond mate headed for the elevator, he followed. No words were spoken as the elevator ascended to Shepard's quarters and even as she entered the washroom to change into her comfortable clothes. Garrus seemed to instinctively understand that no words needed to be spoken right now. Instead he simply seated himself on the edge of Shepard's bed, patiently waiting for when she would come to him.

He was not disappointed. Wordlessly, Shepard emerged from the washroom and curled up by Garrus, prompting him to lean back and hold her close. "Shepard…what happened down there?"

Feeling the human spectre shrug against his chest was an odd feeling, but Shepard's voice was almost hollow. "Crashed a party. Stole the Casa Locust – the real one, not a copy. Blew up a gunship. Helped Kasumi retrieve a gray box that holds all her lover's memories."

Garrus fluttered his mandibles in surprise. "Run that last one by me one more time?"

"Blew up a gunship?"

The Turian chuckled and began to play with a few strands of Shepard's hair. "No, that's normal for you. The gray box. What's so special about this?"

From where she lay on the bed, Shepard heaved a sigh. "Kasumi used to have a partner named Keiji…eventually they became lovers. He uncovered some information that could potentially be dangerous to the Alliance and stored it in a gray box that this guy had. The catch is, the data is encrypted in with his memories of the time Keiji spend with Kasumi…so there's no way to get one without the other."

Stunned, Garrus turned to try and look at where Shepard was curled against the bleach white sheets. "So what did you do?"

She shook her head, a few strands of mahogany hair falling across the commander's bright blue eyes. "Kasumi kept it. She's going off the grid with those memories and that data."

"Isn't that a bit risky?" Garrus murmured, his voice humming in the cabin. "I mean, I trust you did what was right but if it had data that could bring down the Alliance…"

At last, Shepard sprawled out, casually tossing an arm over her eyes. "I know, I know, this could come back and bite me in the ass. But…I kept thinking of you and I couldn't tell her to destroy it. I just couldn't."

Turning around completely, Garrus stared as Shepard sighed and shook her head again. "I just thought…if you died and left me something like that, I couldn't destroy it, no matter how damning the evidence would be. I couldn't just let go of the last thing I had of you. I just…couldn't. Does that make any sort of sense?"

Stunned, Garrus stared for a moment before sliding closer and lifting Shepard's arm so that he met her pained gaze. "Shepard, you're talking to someone who spent two years on Omega thinking of you constantly. I understand your decision and if it helps, I would have done the same thing."

Shepard smiled, a sad little expression. "I just…I can't lose you. I never thought that it'd come to this, where I would be here…with you, but that's where I'm at. I can't afford to let you go. Even if that means compromising the safety of others. What kind of spectre does that make me?"

"A human one." When Shepard stared at Garrus, the Turian abruptly realized his mistake. "No! Wait, that's not what I meant! I mean…well, what it is, it's that…you have your desires and things like that…the things you want that make you who you are. You can't just give up something like that so easily….I'm not making sense."

After a moment, Shepard chuckled and a smile spread across her face. "Garrus, I'd almost forgotten how cute you are when you're flustered. But I think I get what you're saying. You can't just give everything away…you have to keep some things for yourself."

Slowly, Erin sat up and pressed her forehead against Garrus', his heat radiating through her whole body. In the silence, he purred, the humming sound creating a strange, tickling sensation in Shepard's chest.

At last, he spoke, voice low and husky. "That is exactly what I mean. Even if it was the same situation…could you live with that? Could you preserve what was left of me even if it meant keeping evidence that could doom a major organization?"

"For you?" Shepard's ocean blue eyes locked with Garrus' ice blue ones, sparkling with light. "A thousand times over. I would hold those memories and that information until the day I died."