The best part about being married is having someone you can lean on when you need them, someone to metaphorically carry you, if you need them to, someone that knows how to hug you just right, knows when to give you that soft temple kiss that lets you know they are right where you need them, and finally just knowing that someone loves you unconditionally, no matter what mental state you are in at the present moment. Today, this morning, this hour, at this very minute I'm so thankful to be married to the awesome woman that is Brittany Susan Pierce. Last night when she told me that my abuela was in the hospital, I felt numb immediately. Anyone that knows me knows that my abuela is my world, I've learned so much from her both growing up and in my adult life. The way I help raise my kids, the way I cook, the kind of wife I am to Brittany, the type of friend I am...all are a result of watching my abuela all these years. Brittany knows how much my abuela means to me so she held me tight last night as we slept, tighter than she ever has before. After I calmed down from my initial sobfest Brittany and I did take a shot of tequila, I curled ino her embrace as I took a few more shots. I knew it was a bad idea to keep taking shots, especially with three small kids in the house, but Brittany didn't judge me and just stroked my hair, never letting me go at all, and pouring the shots for me. Until I finally pushed the bottle away, a silent indication I was done drinking. After Brittany checked on the kids, she packed for all of us before she cuddled close to me in bed and just held me.

I'm standing in the shower now, the water scorching as it falls on my body, I slipped out of bed early to shower and make Sebastian breakfast, and to pack some snacks for the road. I have to stay busy, I have to keep my ha dis busy, so as everyone who knows me knows, that involves cooking, even the simplest things. Quinn and Lio are coming to Lima with us, so they are going to trail us on the trip this morning with Brayden. We are going to try our hardest to drive straight through, but with four kids under the age of three, we know it'll be a stretch so we are prepared to stop and spend an afternoon and evening somewhere and finish the trip tomorrow morning. I didn't sleep well at all last night, everytime I closed my eyes I saw my abuela, I remember wiggling deeper and deeper into Brit's arms, her rubbing my stomach in her sleep unconciously. I finally reach for my body wash when the shower door opens, ushering in a cool breeze, and I feel Brittany hug me from behind, kissing the back of my neck. She takes the body wash out of my hand and sets it back down before turning me around.

After I look up and lock eyes with Brittany, her eyes full of concern and love, I wrap my arms around her waist, hugging her tightly before resting my head on her chest. I feel her hands glide up and down my back soothingly as she kisses me on the forehead. I feel one of Brittany's arms leave my body so I close my eyes, a few moments later I feel her start to wash my back slowly, humming lowly. She keeps one arm holding me tightly, not wanting to let me go while the other cleans me up. Even though my eyes are closed I feel like we are locking eyes. This is the ultimate goal of marriage, being able to look at someone, really look at someone without having to see their eyes, or their face. I feel so connected to Brittany right now, more so than I ever have, and it's so relaxing.

Once we finish our silent shower we head back to the bedroom, Brittany holding my hand and leading me just as Yasmin starts to whine. I watch Brittany grab a robe and toss it on after quickly drying off, she then walks over to me and kisses me softly on the lips, never deepening or giving me the chance to. She cups my face and smiles. "Need anything, I think YazzyBear is hungry." She laughs softly.

I smile and shake my head. "Thank you, and of course, Yazzy is always hungry." I add, laughing softly.

She winks at me before leaving the room, I hear her in the monitor a few moments later, talking to Yasmin in French, before she starts to sing a lullaby to her, again in French, the same one she would sing to Sebastian to calm him down when he was fussy at her age. I sit on the bench at the end of the bed and listen to Brittany talk to Yasmin, the baby giggling whenever Brittany would laugh and feel myself start to relax a little more. I finish getting dressed and head down to the nursery to help Brittany out with Bellamy, who I know will wake up soon. If we get the girls fed and dressed before Sebastian wakes up, I know the morning will go a lot smoother.

As I'm kissing Bellamy on the cheek and matching her smile Quinn calls to let us know that they are going to meet us at our house to follow us in another two hours, which works out since I want to call my parents and do a few things around the house. Puck is on the way to pick up Brownie and Chef, so I need to keep Sebastian busy so he can get them out of the house quietly and undetected.

Whenever something is on my mind, my hands have to stay busy, and I need to cook, so while Brittany fusses with the kids, I make Sebastian pancakes for breakfast and cut them into shapes for him, I add food coloring so they are blue, and quickly made dough to make a honey croissant for Brittany. I then start to make sandwiches for the trip, including making some for Quinn and Lio. I grab some of the cookies I made the other night and pack them for Brayden and Sebastian as a snack in the car.

"Sanny." Brittany wraps her arms around my waist, startling me, but pulling me out of my deaze.

"Yes."

"Quinn and Lio just pulled up." She tells me, rubbing my staomch soothingly before she grabs my hands and holds them.

I nod to her and lean back in her embace when she wraps her arms back around me. "I need you this weekend."

"I'm here." She reminds me, kissing me on the cheek.

After we get all three kids loaded in the car, we hit the road to Lima, to probably say goodbye to my abuela.


"Are you still with me?" Brittany asks me softly, placing her hand on mine, which is on the gear shift.

I look over at her and nod. "Yeah. I just...I don't now how to feel, you know?" I shrug, glancing in the rearview mirror at our kids.

"What did your mom say when you talked to her?" She asks me.

"No change in her condition." I whisper.

Brittany squeezes my hand and turns up the radio, dancing slightly as a Beyonce song went off. An Anita Baker song comes on and I laugh when Brittany turns up the radio louder and starts to sing to me.

When we met, I always knew
I would feel that magic for you
On my mind constantly
In my arms is where you should be

I love you here by me, baby
You let my love fly free
I want you in my life for all time

Caught up in the rapture of love
Nothing else can compare
When I feel the magic of you

"I know you remember this song." She smiles.

"Of course." I nod and start to sing along. When Brittany and I were in Egypt on our honeymoon, Brittany woke me up at 2am in the morning and wanted to dance, I of course being the love stricken girl that I am, jumped up and danced with my new wife, we turned on the radio in the room but couldn't find a song we liked so I turned on Oa Dora and this was the first song that played, which was perfect.

We stand side by side
Till the storms of life pass us by
Light my life, warm my heart
Say tonight will be just the start

I love you here by me, baby
You let my love fly free
I want you in my life for all time

Caught up in the rapture of love
Nothing else can compare
When I feel the magic of you
The feeling's always new
Caught up in the rapture of you

I listen to the words and think about how fitting the song is at this moment, even though I'm hurting, really hurting right now, with Brit by my side I feel sane. I know that we both took our vows serious but I think this elevates them to a whole new level. We haven't had to deal with anything like this in our marriage yet, we've been sued, we've been through the ringer with her father, we've fought between the two of us, but death...death hasn't been apart of our lives as wives yet. I know it sounds morbid, but I've always wondered what we would do for each other, how would we handle it together. I knew Brittany wouldn't be amazing, and know exactly how to handle me, how to handle my moods, would she know what I needed without me even saying anything...and the answer is yes.

I don't even know why I questioned it. I remember as a littlle girl my abuela would tell me that the true measure of a relationship whether romantic, or just a friendship, is in how they deal with devastationship. So many times in life people are around you when you're doing great, and sitting on top of the world, but when the chips fall and you need people to lean on whether financially, or emotionally, those same people disappear. I met Brittany when I had nothing, like seriously nothing, not even a job, and she stuck around, she believed in me, she loved me despite what I didn't have, so I know now that I need her, she'll be there. I look over at her and smile at how cute she is, singing along to the radio, her hand still firmly on mine, an innocent sign that she's there.

"Did you book a hotel room for us?" I ask her, not wanting to get too lost in my thoughts while I'm driving.

"Yep, I got a suite for everyone, so Quinn and Lio can just stay with us." She tells me. "I ordered a crib for the girls too, they can share, we'll just put mittens on Yazzy, so she doesn't scratch Bellamy in her sleep."

"Sounds good."

"Bach go potty." Sebastian says suddenly.

"Should I stop?" I ask Brittany.

"Did you go already, buddy?" Brittany asks him.

"No, momma." I look in the mirror and watch him shake his head no quickly.

I speed to the next exit, which thankfully was close and turn down a little grassy road and park, thankful that Lio pulls over with us and carefully jump out of the truck, I run around to the other side and grab Sebastian out as Brittany gets out of the truck too and decides to quickly feed Yasmin, who is awake, her bottom lip trembling, her tell sign that she's hungry and will cry in a few minutes. Brittany sits back in her seat and starts to feed her, while I quickly pull Sebastian's pulls up down a little and look around. I pick up a stick and hold it up to me so I can try to demonstrate how he pees standing up.

"Just have him squat." Brittany tells me, a frown on her face.

"I can teach him this way." I shake my head at her. "Look, Bash, like this." Sebastian looks at me and down before grabbing his little member and holding it. "Good job, go to the potty." I nod to him. He looks up at me again and smiles, I figure we are out of the woods so I point the stick up and turn to look at Brittany, before checking on Bellamy in the truck, smiling at how peaceful she looks fast asleep. I turn to look at Sebastian again just as he angles up and pees in my face.

I scream and jump back as Sebastian starts to laugh. "No, no Bash." Brittany says quickly, trying not to laugh. "Point down." She adds when I hear Quinn start to cackle loudly and see her hanging out the passenger side window laughing at me.

"Go to hell!" I scream at Quinn before glaring at her as Lio jogs over, a big smile on his face. "Don't say a word." I warn him as Brittany walks over with a baby wipe and starts to wipe off my face.

"I'm not laughing." She giggles while trying to clean me up.

"I got it ladies." Lio tells me.

I walk over closer to him as he upzips his pants and stare at him, Brittany still wiping my face.

"Move Rat." He says quickly.

"I've seen you naked before." I shrug.

"When we were like five." He scowls.

"So what?"

"Santana." Brittany motions me over to the truck as she walks back to the side.

I groan and walk over to Brittany, who hands me another baby wipe, Yasmin in her arms, staring at me. I wink at her and sigh. "I need a shower now."

"Do you want me to drive for a little bit?" Brittany asks me.

I nod and sigh. "Yes, please...I'm not focused right now, so much on my mind."

"Do you want to call your mom?"

"No, not while we are driving, I'll call her when we stop for the night." I reply.


"I can't believe how much Yazmin looks like you." Quinn laughs.

"It's amazing, right?" I smile. "I knew there was a chance she would look like me, but this much is crazy." I blush. "I love it, and Brit thinks it's hilarious. Bellamy looks so much like her, it's so cool how it worked out for us."

Quinn, who is holding Yasmin, feeding her a bottle, nods in agreement. "How's the adjustment going in the house?"

"Still kind of crazy." I admit. "But we are baring through it." It's why Brittany is so tired and knocked out sleep right now." I add. We stopped for the day around 3pm, wanting to get the kids out of the car for a while. We booked a suite for both families that had three bedrooms. Brittany needed to pump so she took a shower and pumped a few bottles out, adding to the couple we already add in the cooler, before falling asleep. I went to check on her and grab a bottle and saw her fast asleep, so I kissed her on the cheek and covered her up, knowing how tired she was from not only the previous night but just in general. Lio took Brayden and Bash with him to get dinner for everyone, so Quinn offered to help me feed the girls, so Brittany could continue to sleep.

I lift Bellamy to burp her and smile at Yasmin, who is quickly sucking down her bottle, staring at Quinn intently. "Bash is actually really helpful and good with the girls. He likes to help feed them, so we let him carry the bottle and he holds it to warm it up." I smile. "He's always trying to play with them too, bringing over stuffed animals and toys to show them what they do, Bellamy loves it, Yasmin just stares at him most times."

"So she has your personality too?" Quinn teases as Yasmin finishes her bottle and sighs. "All done?" She asks her, lifting her to burp her, which she does right away.

I laugh and nod. "I guess. Bellamy poops all day, like seriously all day, Q." I shake my head. "It's so crazy, nothing stays in her, she just ate and I bet she needs a diaper change in like twenty minutes."

Quinn laughs and cudddles Yasmin to her again, locking eyes with her. "Well at least Bash is kind of out of diapers."

"That's been pretty rough, but we are working on it with him." I nod. "He has his moments."

Yasmin starts to fuss and whine, moving her arms angrily around while staring at Quinn. "She likes to sit up after she eats." I tell, staring at Yasmin. Quinn nods and sits her up, so she can see and look around. I watch her stare at Bellamy, who is happily kicking her legs in my lap, holding my finger tightly. Yasmin stares at Bellamy and smiles when Bellamy looks at her and they lock eyes.

"Ok...that was so cute." Quinn smiles.

"Oh my God, yes, they have that whole twin thing going on. Yasmin's almost obsessed with Bellamy, she's always watching her and Bellz gets the most smiles of everyone in the family." I point out when Yasmin reaches for Bellamy before pulling her hand back right away, a big smile still on her face.

"So cute, ugh they are so cute." Quinn laughs as the girls continue to stare at each other and smile.

"When are you two having another?" I ask her, moving to sit on the floor and laying Bellamy down for some tummy time, Quinn quickly following my lead and setting Yasmin down facing Bellamy.

Quinn rubs Yasmin's back and shrugs. "I don't know, we've been talking about it and are waiting for the right time I guess."

I laugh and nod. "Well, not that I have that much more experience than you but I will say there's no right time. You two are comrtable financialy, own a home, have great careers...I mean, not saying that I know what goes on in your house, but you're just never really ready for a kid. Look at us, we planned for another baby, and two came." I laugh. "Are you two waiting for something specific?"

"No, not really." Quinn shook her head.

"Hmmmm, well you two have my vote to keep procreating." I tease her, tapping a few toys for Yasmin and Bellamy. Bellamy, of course, excited by them, Yasmin too focused on Bellamy to notice the toys.

Quinn then reaches over and grabs my hand. "How are you?"

I know she's referring to my grandmother, so I close my eyes and sigh before opening them slowly. If anyone knows how much my abuela means to me, it's Quinn. "I'm hanging in there." I shrug. "I think I'm still in a little shock." I add.

She stares at me and nods.

"Brittany got the call last night, we were relaxing after a long day with the kids, I had the fireplace lit, we were going to listen to the some music and just kick back but ..." I trail off. "I love my wife, that's all I can say, Brittany is so amazing, she's been so amazing so far, but I didn't expect anything less from her. How's Lio?"

"Same ole Lio." Quinn shrugs. "He's putting on his macho act, but I know he's upset. He's just ready to get to Lima and really find out what's going on."

"Me. too." I nod. "Can you watch the girls, I want to check on Brittany?"

"Of course." Quinn nods as Yasmin turns to stare at her before going back to the toy she was staring at.

I walk in the bedroom where Brit is asleep and rub her back. I sigh and stare at her as my mind starts to race, wondering what's going on with my abuela. I her Brittany clear throat and look down at at her as she stirs and wakes up slowly, blinking quickly to adjust her eyes.

"Hey." She rasps, turning over to face me. "Everything okay?"

I nod and lean down to kiss her. "I just wanted to check on you, Lio should be back any minute now with dinner."

"What time is it?"

"It's a little after 7." I tell her, intertwining our fingers, I lift her left hand so I can kiss her wedding ring. "I didn't mean to wake you, I know you're probably tired from last night and this morning still.

"It's okay, I need to get up anyways, so I can help you with the kids, I don't even remember falling asleep to be honest." She smiles slightly.

"It's okay, Sebastian is with Lio and Quinn is playing with the girls with me, so you can rest a little longer." I assure her.

"No, I need to get up so I'm not up all night." She yawns and sits up just as we hear the suite door close and a kid crying, we both immediately know it's Sebastian so I get out of bed, Brittany close behind me.

"What's wrong?" I ask Sebastian when we reach the living room. I see him sitting on the couch, his head in his hands as he cries louder, Yasmin now staring at him from her spot on the floor.

"He wanted to carry the food, but it's too heavy, so he had a meltdown." Lio smiles as he laughs a little and starts to hand Brayden fortune cookies to set on the table. I smile at Brayden, who is crushing most of them as he grabs them but still setting them down really gently.

"He likes to help." Brittany yawns as she sits on the floor next to the girls, Yasmin immediately turning to smile at Brittany, kicking her legs

I kneel down and sigh. "Come here Bash, come to mami." He lifts his head when he hears my voice and jumps off the couch running right into my arms. I rub his back and kiss the top of his head to calm him down a little. "What's wrong?"

"Lio no let Bach help." He stutters through tears as he points at Lio before hiding his face in my chest.

I glance at Brittany and Quinn, and see them smiling at Sebastian, Brittany playfully raising her fist to Lio, while Quinn shakes her head dramatically at him, both taking Sebastian's side. "You can't always help, buddy." I try to explain. "You can't throw a tantrum when you don't get your way, you know better than that." He sniffles and leans more into me, I give him a hug before leaning him back so I can look in his eyes. After I wipe his tears away I kiss him on the forehead and smile. "I bet if you tell Lio you're sorry for being naughty when he said no, that he'll let you help him now."

Sebastian, hiccups and sticks his hand in his mouth, which I quickly and softly pull out of his mouth and rub his back. He looks over to Brittany, who nods to him, so he walks slowly to Lio and pulls on his shirt. "Bach sorry."

Lio smiles and kneels down to him. "It's okay, little guy." He tells him, shaking his hand.

"Bach help Lio?" Sebastian asks quickly.

"Yeah, you see the bag over there." Lio points overs to the plastic bag on the table. "Take all the white boxes out and stack them on the table."

Sebastian nods and runs to the table and starts to take the boxes out as Brayden runs over to Brittany, who he's obsessed with, and hands her a fortune cookie.

"Oh my gosh! Thank you." Brittany gushes, making Brayden blush as he stares at her. "So awesome." She adds. He shakes his head and runs back over to Lio and hides from Brittany, peeping out at her to smile. He's so cute because he's a little shy, he likes to help and give people things, but the praise he gets afterwards makes him blush.

"Feeling better after a quick cat nap?" Quinn asks Brittany, as I watch my wife pick up each of the twins and kiss all over their faces and set them back down, each one laughing and kicking their legs excitedly until it's their turn again.

Brittany nods. "Like I told Sanny, I didn't even know I was asleep." She laughs. "Life is such a whirlwind lately, but I wouldn't trade it at all."

After Brayden and Sebastian get everything all unpacked for us, I make Sebastian a plate of white rice and some of the bourbon chicken that Lio ordered and give him half of an egg roll, since he loves them, and surround him with napkins, but that is one messy eater. I then make Brittany a plate so she can keep playing with the girls a little longer, before finally making myself a plate. Lio sits on the couch with Sebastian sitting close to him, while Brayden sits in Brittany's lap and sucks on a piece of chicken for a while. Bellamy eventually falls asleep, but Yasmin is wide awake, so I hold her for a while, balancing my plate on her back, since she wants to be on her stomach for some reason, while she sucks on my fingers off and on.

We spend the next hour alternating between a comfortable silence of eating, while the kids watch a cartoon, and talking about random things, everyone ignoring the big elephant in the room and that's Lio and my abuela. While it would be awesome if we are just on a vacation together and that's why we are hanging out in a hotel suite, we know it's not the case, but no one wants to really talk about it. It's been on my mind non stop, I can't focus on anything else really. My appetite suddenly leaves me and I end up just pushing my food around my plate, I glance up and see Brittany is staring at me, so I give her the best smile I can, but she knows it's not genuine at all, she knows me.

"I think I'm going to call it a night, I'm tired from the drive and everything. I'll take the girls with me, B." I tell her as I walk over to Sebastian and kiss his full jaws, before throwing my garbage out, Yasmin still in my arms.

"I'll help you." Brittany shakes her head. "Can you two keep an eye on Bash while we get the girls bathed and down?"

"No problem." Lio waves us off. "Go do your thing." He smiles as he breaks another egg roll in half and gives it to Sebastian.

After making my way to the room and laying Yasmin down, lying down with her, facing her so we can stare at each other, I hear Brittany come in and close the door.

"You didn't eat very much." She tells me softly, laying Bellamy, who was now awake and looking around, down on the bed next to Yasmin.

I sit up and shrug. "Not really hungry." I reply, watching her get pajamas out for the twins and set them on the bed. I stand up to help her and get out their bath items, taking off my tshirt so I'm just in a tank top.

"You have to eat, Sanny." She reminds me casually. Brittany isn't going to force me to eat, or nag me about it, she's going to casually and calmly say things in a way where I don't feel like I'm being micromanaged, I guess is the best way to put it.

"I know, B." I nod. "I just...no real appetite right now."

She nods and picks up Yasmin. "Well, why don't we split an eggroll after the girls take a bath, you love shrimp ones and these were really good. I'll warm up the sweet and sour sauce for you." She smiles, tossing a towel over her shoulder and singing to Yasmin in French as they walk to the bathroom. I pick up Bellamy and follow so we can get them bathed and into bed, then we can focus on getting Sebastian in a bath and bed too. I need some quiet time with Brittany tonight, so I hope everything goes smoothly.

It takes us longer than usual to get all three kids down, probably because we aren't home and are in a new place, Sebastian was all wound up so we needed to get him settled and calmed all the way day, which took three bedtime stories and a song. He's sharing the third bedroom in the suite with Brayden, so they get waking up and starting to play, Quinn and I alternating going in the room since we both had our baby monitors in there. Bellamy and Yasmin are fast asleep, sharing a crib next to our bed.

I'm laying in bed on my back, my eyes closed, even though I'm not asleep. I just want to try to clear my mind of everything but I can't. My mind always drifts to my abuela and tears start to cloud my eyes. Brittany slips in bed next to me and starts to rub my stomach soothingly, before she places a kiss on my cheek.

I shake my head as tears start to spill out. "I'm scared, Brit." I whisper. "Scared she's going to die."

"I know."

I exhale shakingly before covering my mouth with my hands, a sob echoing into them. "I don't want to lose her."

Brittany shuffles in bed and slides closer to me before rolling me on to her chest and holding me tightly, kissing each tear away softly. I don't need her to say anything, and she knows that. With each kiss I start to cry harder until I'm full blown sobbing, Brittany simply holding me and surrounding me with her love.


Brittany POV

When I first met Santana I knew there was something special about her, the more I got to know her, I knew that the special spark I saw inside of her was the love she had for her family. I've never seen a closer family than hers. They are so supportive of each other, and you can tell that they genuinely love and like one another, and not just because they are family and you are supposed to. I remember whenI first went to Lima, Santana was the most excited for me to meet her abuela, and she's who I was most nervous about meeting, but she was so sweet. She never treated me like just a friend of Santana's that was around for a visit, she immediately labeled me as family and treated like one of her own. I immediately began to love her abuela like my own as well, she's so wise and caring, and heavily respected in her family. I saw why Santana was so drawn to her, she has an energy that just pulls you into, her life struggles, how she came over from Mexico escaping to start a better life, she's just an amazing woman.

I know Santana is hurting, she's hurting in a way I've never seen before, and a way that's scaring me a little. Santana likes to play tough, but she's being completely vulnerable right now, and that's how I know she's not going to be okay after this. Last night hearing her sob and cry was heart wrenching. Every time her body shook I felt her pain, and all I could do was hold her tightly, because I knew that was all she needed.

We woke up pretty early, Bellamy being first awake as usual, needing a diaper change. Santana jumped out of bed and tended to her, while I nursed Yasmin, who woke up soon after, hungry as always. We ordered room service for breakfast for everyone and packed up to hit the road again to finish our drive to Lima.

I offered to drive the remainder of the way, but Santana insisted that she drive, which I knew meant she wanted to have some control of something in her life right now, and I wanted to grant her that. I lost my grandfather so I know how hard it is to lose something that you consider to be your world, I wasn't dating anyone at the time, so i didn't have someone to stand by me and be my backbone and support system, since I'm in the position to do that, I plan to make sure she's okay, well as okay as she can be.

We pull up to her parents house and park, blowing the horn at Lio and Quinn as they make their way to his moms house, which is a few blocks over. I reach over and rest my hand on Santana's, waiting for her to look at me.

"Are you ready?" I ask her.

"No." She replied. "But I guess I don't have a choice, do I?"

I shake my head sadly at her. "I'm right here for you, I'm not going anywhere."

"I need right now, I need you to be my rock, my arms, my legs, hell, probably even my brain." She sighs and rests her head on the steering wheel.

"Can I be your mouth too? Does that mean I get extra dessert?" I tease hoping to lighten the mood a little for her.

She shakes slowly with laughter before looking at me. "As long as it's not apple pie, then yes." She nods.

"Seriously, Sanny, I'm here, okay?" I tell her, rubbing her back.

"I know." She sighs. "Thanks, baby."


Thoughts?