Chapter 49
Alrighty, folks! This is ONE of the chapters we have all been waiting for. There are still quite a few chapters after this one but THIS. THISSSS IS IT!
I am so excited for you to read this! I am so freaking pumped. I got so many great reviews this week and I just can't wait any longer to post this for you! I wish I could just post the next ten chapters but then it would be over too soon and I'm not ready for that. So just know that there is so much more to come but enjoy this crazy climax for what it's worth.
I cannot thank the loyal reviewers enough. I love your emotional responses! They touch my heart and match how I feel about the chapters. I am so glad you are on this emotional roller coaster with me.
This chapter may have a few more grammatical errors then usual. It was fueled by emotion and very little spare time.
Please give all the reviews you can muster but know that there is some REALLY REALLY REALLY great stuff coming as well.
"Back to Forever" Lissie ( I heard this song when I was shopping for jeans one day and have not been able to get it out of my head since. That was like...three years ago. I might even hazard to say that the image in the garden was what this song triggered first. Before any of the rest of the story was formed. So, credit where credit is due. This song might actually be the catalyst for this story. Enjoy!)
It used to go slow,
But now it's so fast
It melts like the snow,
Christmas midwest
Time lapses years just drift away
But I always said that I'd come back someday
to be laid down
Take me back to forever
That's where I was born to be
How'd I end up in this land of never
Only memories
In this spot.
This exact spot
Is where I'd hide until I got caught
And this place, this is my place
And homes all I got so
Take me back to forever
That's where I just long to be
How'd I end up in this land of never
Only memories
Oh my memories,
they come back to me.
Oh my memories.
Won't you come back to me?
"Are you sure about this, my boy?" Maurice stood at the entrance to the castle looking at Adam's bloodshot eyes and downcast shoulders.
"This is how it should be, Maurice. You know it and I know it."
"She will ask questions that I will not be able to answer. What shall I tell her?"
"You saw her last night. You saw what happened."
"I saw two people separated by a horrible accident and are desperately trying to find their way back to each other."
"This is how it should be, Maurice!" He repeated a little more forcefully. "This is how it should have always been. You of all people know the kind of misery coming to this castle brings. How you must wish you had never come here. How much better your lives would be if I had stayed in the shadows and allowed you to slip away without ever knowing I existed."
To Adam's surprise Maurice took the fur covered arm on his right. "Now you listen to me, boy!" He craned his neck to look into Adam's face. "You are my son and I love you. I regret nothing and I fully expect to see you again very soon. Whatever you choose to do. But never, ever question my regard for you and what you did for my Belle. What you are still doing for her."
Adam was speechless and overcome with more emotion then he was comfortable with. Before he knew it, he was crouched to Maurice's height and embracing the old man with as much gentleness as he possessed.
The moment was broken with footmen hauling both Gabriel's and Marie's trunk to the carriages waiting to take the party back to Molynoux. The solemn figures of Marie and Gabriel followed in fine cloaks lined in fur. Marie's mournful eyes followed Adam as she stopped and gave the most demur curtsy before making her way down the steps to the carriage and was lifted in. Gabriel looked stoic and unhappy as his mother disappeared inside the carriage.
"I don't understand. Why are we leaving? You said we would never have to leave." His voice was accusing and Adam wished he could have explained everything to this boy he adored as he would his own son.
"I know it seems wrong now. But you will understand soon. I promise, my boy, I promise." Adam held up a paw for Gabriel to take but he didn't. He only looked imploringly at Adam's face and when it did not yield the answer he was looking for he made off down the stairs in a rush and into the carriage with his mother.
It took a moment for Adam to lower his paw as he watched the carriage door slam shut. Maurice put another comforting hand on Adam's outstretched arm and patted it gently. "It will be alright in the end, my boy. I promise, I promise."
With a sad sigh he put his arm to his side. "Not for me, but perhaps for her." And without much else they made their way down the stairs to the carriages where a footmen helped Maurice into the same one that Marie and Gabriel resided.
Everyone waited for Adam to give the go ahead for them to leave. It was still very cold outside and they needed to get started if they wanted to make it to the next village by sundown.
He hesitated as the feeling of deja vu washed over him like a tidal wave. He must let her go. The words sat on the tip of his tongue. He knew he would never see her again. But then, that wasn't a new feeling. Twice he had lost her and thought that he would never see her again. And twice he had somehow lived through it. He wasn't foolish enough to believe that this would be any different. That was his curse; to always have to let her go and hope that somehow it would turn out alright.
The carriages sat underneath a massive trellis. Though winter was unwaveringly bitter and lasting, roses grew in all their splendor. It was a magical part of the castle that Adam had always admired. Reaching up a paw he plucked a fat red bloom from its vine and approached the carriage. The door was still open and he peaked inside to see three sad faces looking back at him. He searched for words before finally laying the rose in her hands and looking into that beautiful brown eye, one more time.
"No matter where you go or who you become, please, don't ever forget me. And know that you were the reason for my life. Even if you never knew or understood why."
Marie's eyes were full of tears and she took the rose in her hand and looked at its petals until Adam closed the door with a swish. She never did look up as the carriage rolled away from the castle. However, Gabriel did and his mournful eyes stared at Adam long after he had disappeared from sight.
The rose was a thing of beauty. It was a masterpiece of nature and she touched its soft petals lovingly as tears continued to stream down her face. She looked across the carriage at the older man that said he was her father. He genuinely seemed to look at her with admiration and love, which she found disconcerting and strangely familiar at the same time. She closed her eyes and wished more then she had ever wished that she could go back to being whoever she was before. Whoever they all believed she still was.
She pressed her nose into the center of the Beast's rose. Breathing in deeply, she felt the rich scent of the flower fill her up.
And just as the sun rises over the crest of the mountain, so did her memory come rushing back.
She saw, as if a scene played out before her eyes, all the missing puzzle pieces come together. She saw a small village and a farm house. She saw her massive horse, Philippe. A girl who read books and longed for friends and adventure so much that she cried herself to sleep when the lonely days became too unbearable. She saw her father creating wonderful machines to help with daily chores and his enthusiasm for science and knowledge that fueled her own passion to learn. She saw him leave for the fair. Her own flight into the woods to save him. She saw a horrible bargain struck with a terrible monster hiding in the shadows. She saw talking candlesticks and teapots and a chipped teacup with a penchant for sneaking into her room at night. She saw snarling wolves and breaking ice as this same Beast rescued her from what would be a terrible fate. She saw slashed fur and a broken creature that in turn needed saving. She saw a beautiful peace created between herself and the Beast as he gave her his library, a friendship she so desperately needed, and his heart. She saw long evenings reading in front of the fire and beautiful conversations over the dinner table. She saw a yellow ball gown and a release from her bargain made. She saw villagers pour into the castle and kill her Beast. She felt like her own heart was breaking all over again. How she had realized she loved him too late.
Then, when it seemed her head would explode, she saw him. Him, with his big shoulders and mane of reddish gold hair. Him, with his uncertain lopsided smile and perfect kisses. Him, with his tendency to trip over his own feet and snarl like the beast he was when he didn't get his way. She saw him as he was to her. Her friend, lover, man, prince, and beast. The one to tease her in the library, argue with her over the dinner table and make the sweetest love to her in the quiet of their private sanctuary long into the night. Those blue eyes that stared balefully out of the Beast's face now looked at her longingly through his eyelashes. She knew him. He was hers.
Her head snapped up so quickly, as the visions swirled in front of her eyes, that she felt she might faint. Her heart started to fly out of her chest as she gasped in physical pain at all the memories. Her father looked up at her in alarm. And he was her father! She knew him. His name was Maurice. He married a woman named Rosamund who died in his arms when their daughter was very little. He was older and so much more fragile then she remembered but it was him!
"What is the matter? What is wrong?" He reached over the seat to touch her but didn't quite, for fear she would not like it.
She breathed heavily as if seeing him for the first time and whispered through swimming eyes. "Papa?"
Maurice looked at her long and hard and tried to ascertain if he had heard her right.
"It's me. What has happened?"
She shook her head violently and squeezed the rose until its head threatened to pop off.
"Papa..." she whispered again.
With tears in his voice he finally connected his hand with hers. "Belle?"
Her name was like cool water on a burned surface. She gasped again at the release and gripped his hand back. "Belle, is that you?"
She nodded her head, unable to breathe through the feeling of knowing her own name. Her real name. Then, as if all the air were blowing out of her she met eyes with her father once more.
"Adam!"
Maurice's face registered exactly what she was feeling. He raised his cane and hit the top of the carriage forcefully. "Stop! Stop! Stop at once!"
The wheels creaked as the horses were reigned in and Gabriel had to grip the wall to keep from being toppled out of his seat. "What is happening, mother?!"
Maurice shoved the door of the carriage open, with the castle towers still just visible behind the trees of the country road they stood on. "Go to him!" Maurice whispered. "Don't leave him for one more second! Go to him!"
Marie, who now knew her name was Belle and never wanted to be called Marie again, smiled her first real smile at her father and then alighted out of the carriage. Gabriel cried out in alarm and made to follow her. She slammed the door right in front of him and touched his face. "Stay with your grandfather, you'll be right behind me!"
Then without looking back she took off down the road, grateful at how healthy and fit she had become since coming back to Chateau de la rose. The road was rough on her soft slippers and her massive dress and cape weighed her down but she didn't feel a thing. All she knew was that she had to get back to him.
Back to forever.
When even the sound of the carriage could not be heard by Adam's keen ears he waited and wished for them to turn around. To come back to him. He chided himself for acting like a foolish child and finally tore himself away from the spot he had last seen her. He wasn't sure how, but he found himself outside the glass house in the gardens. He walked along the rows of dead and withered bushes that had not been carefully trimmed and put to rights before the mass exodus of servants had left the castle once Rosamund had taken a turn for the better. He loosened his cravat and removed his overcoat, hanging it on an obliging tree. He wouldn't need it anymore.
He knew that what he was about to do was foolish. That he would most likely meet an untimely death at the end of a hunter's crossbow, or perhaps the wolves would finish what they started with him. But he just couldn't bare it anymore. He couldn't bare to see her face looking at him the way it had the previous night, every time he closed his eyes.
This was better.
Cogsworth would get word to his uncle. His lands would be safe and he could finally rest from all the pain and hurt. He sat down on his haunches and let his mind relax. The beast inside him would come up as soon as it realized he was no longer blocking it. And he would let it. This time he would embrace the animal and let it stay there for however long he had left. No complicated emotions, no memory of all he had lost. Just dumb, simple, beautiful oblivion.
He breathed deeply and felt his mind slowly start to slip into the recess of his brain where it could rest. Just a few moments and he would make his way into the woods and hopefully, God be willing, he would stay there for the rest of his days.
Lumiere was just making his way outside. He knew that Adam had walked in the general direction of the gardens and he had a sinking feeling that his Prince needed someone, whether he liked it or not. So it came as a bit of a shock when he heard the sound of pounding footfalls coming back up the road. He turned around to see the flashing pink of a gown as Marie ran like all the devils in hell were chasing her. Her breathing was ragged and once she had cleared the castle gates and was across the bridge she stopped very near Lumiere and bent over to gasp breath and clutch her knees. He was at her side in a moment and just in time as she sagged against him and brushed the scarf off her face as one would an obnoxious bug. Her scars glinted in the sunlight and he could only look at them and wonder at what had come over her.
"My dear Lady Marie, What 'as 'appened?"
She clutched his waistcoat and looked into his eyes with more clarity then he had seen from her yet. "Where is he, Lumiere!?"
" 'Is Lordship?"
She took another gasping breath. "Adam! Where is he?"
Lumiere stood stunned for what felt like ages as she continued to try and catch her breath.
"What did you say?"
She gave him a look of annoyance and tugged at her bodice. "Damn this corset!" She muttered to herself and Lumiere almost laughed out loud. He had never heard anything so vulgar out of Marie but he certainly had out of Belle. "Lumiere, you must tell me where Adam is. I need to find him this instant!"
Without asking for any other explanation on how she could know his name, he took her hand and led her down the garden path he had last seen the Beast go. She rushed ahead of him when she realized where the path would lead. Hitching up her skirts she broke back into a run and disappeared around the castle wall before he could think to keep up with her.
The darkness was so comfortable. He no longer felt the cold of the day or the weight of pain in his chest. Why had he felt that pain? He couldn't quite remember. He felt hungry and restless and his claws dug into the frozen ground. Dozens of different scents assaulted his nose and he felt his ears twitch in every direction listening to the sounds of the castle gardens. It was the woods he wanted and just as he was about to move in that direction something else caught his attention.
A heartbeat.
It was pounding in its chest so hard it was a surprise the owner did not die of a heart attack. The beast in him perked up and listened intently to the sound. Adam himself tried to encourage the animal to ignore it. It was just another heart beat and he needed to get away from it as soon as possible. But the beast, the beast that he hated and thought just a stupid entity attached to his physical form. The beast that knew him better then he knew himself, also knew that heartbeat. That was her heartbeat. The her that he loved. He would know that heartbeat across time and space.
With violent force he felt the human side of himself thrust to the forefront of his mind and crash against his skull. He kept his eyes closed, trying to will himself back to the place where he didn't feel and was at peace. But the sound reached his ears and the beast in him knew he was never going back to that. That half consciousness of being more animal then man.
"Adam!"
His eyes flew open and focused on the girl with the short mop of hair as she raced up the pebbled path to where he sat underneath the rose arbor.
"Marie?" He said, bewildered. "What are you doing here?"
She stopped just at the line of wild rose bushes along the base of the hill that barred her from coming any closer. He vaguely caught sight of Lumiere racing up the pathway behind her.
"Adam, it's me!" She gasped out clutching a stitch in her side.
He swallowed hard and tried to keep up with what his tired brain was trying to say. "You know my name? How do you know my name?"
"I'm sorry I forgot! I'm sorry I couldn't remember! But I do now. I remember you! I came back to tell you I remember you!"
He leaned forward and felt all the air leave his body. "You came back?"
"I came back."
"Because...you know me? You know my name?"
"I know your name."
His eyes met hers across the wall of rose bushes and snow and her smile was full of recognition.
"How?" He whispered, knowing something was about to happen but knowing not what.
"Because you are my Adam and I love you."
He wasn't sure if that was the moment he leaned forward to come to her or if he simply fainted and rolled down the hill. But whatever happened in that moment he knew the last thing he remembered was her lovely face and how for the first time since she had come back she was fully and completely his Belle.
