Chapter 51

Loss for Words

"Run Away"- Blue Hamilton

Kyle (POV)

Beads of sweat trickled down my brow as my feet pulsed on the conveyer belt of the treadmill. Foss stood at my side analyzing the data that streamed across the three monitors we had set up.

"Increasing incline and speed, five percent," he noted as the intensity picked up and I acclimated.

Another increase like that and the treadmill would be maxed out. I ran for thirty minutes at that pace until Foss picked up the incline and speed again. I continued on for another hour before Foss began decreasing the intensity until I came to a stop. He handed me a bottle of water and towel, I blotted my face off and took a swig of the water.

"How does it look?" I asked, peeling off the electrodes that had been stuck to my bare chest to monitor my heart.

"You're heart is consistent with what it was last week," he mumbled, plugging in the new set of data to the catalog of data he kept. "This time last year your performance was on an upward curve, now its hit a Plato."

"At least it's not decreasing," I sighed, trying my best to stay positive. "Did the blood result that we had Jessi run come back?"

"Your white blood cell count was slightly elevated, which in a normal person would be explained by something like seasonal allergies, however with you-"

"It means that my immune system is declining," I sighed. "By how much was it elevated?" I pondered as I tugged on one of my old Dartmouth T-shirts.

He swiveled around in his chair to the table behind him covered in stacks of papers and books.

"Uhm .0002%." He rattled off.

I sighed again and ran my hand through my hair as I slumped down on one of the chairs.

"Look, Kyle, this is good, all things considered," he said, getting up from his seat. "When Adam was going through this, his levels were dropping way faster than yours currently are. Now, have you been able to replicate the formula?"

"Jessi and I are working on trying to get the right balance of electrolytes without offsetting something else," I explained, "We're close though."

He nodded riffling through the piles of books and papers.

"Well I should head out; I promised Amanda that I would set up the furniture in the nursery today," I said as I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed for the doors.

"Kyle!" he called out.

"Yeah," I called over my shoulder.

"You're, ah...you're going to be okay," he shuffled.

I nodded, "Thanks, Foss." I pushed the door open and made my way to the Jeep.

The drive home was fairly fast. I pulled into the garage and before I made it into the house I grabbed the tool kit from the work area where Nathan had his motorcycle parts spread out. I smiled; the motorcycle was really coming along. I made my way through the downstairs and up to the nursery.

All the boxes were randomly placed through out the room. I looked at all the labels on the boxes in search of the crib specifically. I tore open the box, once I came across it, and laid out all the parts. The crib was a dark stained wood that was very straight lined. I quickly glanced over the instruction booklet and gathered the tools that I would need.

I was halfway through assembling the crib when I heard Amanda and the boys walk in. I glanced at my watch; it was three in the afternoon already this furniture was taking a little longer to assemble than I had expected.

"Kyle!" I heard Amanda call out as she climbed up the stairs. "Kyle?"

"In here!" I called back, half mumbling as I held a screw between my teeth.

"Oh! You're putting the crib together!" she beamed.

"Yep, I think I may have to recruit Nate's help, though, this is taking longer than I thought it would," I mumbled as I got up from the floor and screwed in a few nuts.

Before either of us could say anymore I heard Nathan making his way up the stairs.

"And there's my guy," I laughed, knowing he had overheard my conversation with Amanda.

"Just remember the family is coming over at seven," she reminded us. "I'm going to finish up some work than I'll start dinner, Kyle you're in charge of the grill."

"I'm all over it," I chuckled before she disappeared back downstairs.

What I loved about Amanda was that since I had told her about my body showing signs of failure, she didn't give me that look of pity. She would have her moments were her thoughts of 'what if?' would get the best of her, however she didn't let that cloud how she saw me. I was still Kyle, her husband; I wasn't someone with death marked on their forehead.

"How can I help?" Nathan asked, looking around the room at all the boxes.

"I need you to hold the side of the crib to keep it steady while I tighten the screws," I instructed as I maneuvered around the crib. "There, now that, that's all set we can start on the changing table."

We worked our way through assembling all the furniture and adjusting where to place it in the room. Once we finally had a layout that we felt was the best, I went downstairs to get Amanda. I led her back up to the nursery.

"Alright," I mumbled, from behind her. "What do you think?"

She glanced around, taking in the whole room all put together. The crib was up against the wall that shared a door to connecting bathroom. I had hung wooden letters that spelled out 'Sophia' above the crib. The changing table was on the opposing wall along with the rocking chair we had picked out, tucked in the corner. The tan and brown rug with monkeys printed on it was rolled out on the center of the wood floor.

"Its perfect," she whispered, tears were in her eyes. "We're really doing this."

"Having another baby?" I questioned as I stepped closer to her.

She nodded. "This just makes it all feel…real?" she tried her best to explain.

"I completely understand," I smiled, pulling her into my arms. "Just think, in less than a month, she'll be here."

"I can't wait," she whispered into my chest.

I was able to take a quick shower and get cleaned off before; Declan, Lori and their girls arrived. Declan joined me on grill duty while Brice and Nathan played catch in the back yard.

"Nate seems to be fitting into this dysfunctional family well," Declan joked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yeah, I guess he is," I chuckled, "Brice idolizes him, it's kind of cute. How has everything with the girls been?"

"They're awesome, Lily is working on crawling and Peyton isn't far behind," he boasted. "We're going to have to find a bigger place soon. The girls things are flooding the apartment."

"Have you guys looked into anything?" I asked, turning a few of the chicken and shuffling the vegetables.

"Lori has kept an eye out, she's found a couple places online," he shrugged.

I could hear Josh's car followed by Stephen's car pulling into the driveway and within a couple of minutes I heard four sets of footsteps make their way through the front door.

"Why don't you guys look at the condos that are being built by the hospital?" I suggested as a shifted the food that was done onto a plate.

"There's new condos by the hospital?" he probed, his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"You haven't seen them?" I asked. "The development is right off of Hudson Street. You've been working at the hospital for four months now and you haven't seen them?"

"I guess I never noticed," he laughed.

"You guys should take a look at them," I chuckled. "Well these look like their done."

I handed Declan the plate of vegetables and I took in the chicken. I called out to the boys as I followed behind Declan back into the house. Since it was such a nice day I kept the glass doors open to let the fresh air in. I set the plate of chicken down on the table amongst the place settings and the other food Lori had help Amanda prepare. Everyone was making small talk as we fell into our places at the table.

"Hey Kyle, you think you'd be able to take a look at the breaks on my car this weekend?" Josh asked me as he passed the bowl of salad on to Andy.

"I can do that, didn't we just put new ones on though?" I was a little confused; those breaks shouldn't be giving him trouble already.

"I think you guys have put all the band aids you can on that car," Andy piped in, "I think its time for Josh to say goodbye and get a new one."

"I love that car, why would I get rid of it?" You could hear he was slightly offended, from his tone.

"The car is 15 years old, Josh, it's seen its better days," Lori chimed in at this point.

"Its my baby," he mumbled.

The conversation rolled from there to work, school, the twins, and various other topics. It wasn't until we had finished desert that I began to feel nervous. The weight of the real reason for a family dinner began to feel heavier on my shoulders. I glanced around the table as everyone laughed and carried on with a trivial conversation. I was seated at the head of the table with Stephen seated at the opposite end from me. Amanda was seated at my right and Nathan was at my left. The only ones that new about what I was going to reveal to everyone tonight were Amanda, Stephen and Nathan.

Earlier in the day I had asked Nathan if he would keep Brice occupied. I didn't want him to know just yet, at this point there was no need to worry him with the possibility of death. Nathan took Brice outside to play basketball in the driveway that usually kept him busy for a few hours.

I shared a knowing glance with Stephen and he nodded every so slightly. I reached for Amanda's hand under the table and gave her a small smile.

"There's a reason why we invited everyone here tonight," I spoke up and the conversation quickly died off and all seven pairs of eyes shifted toward me. "I don't know how else to say this other than to just come straight out and say it… My body is showing signs of failure."

There were 19.4 seconds of pure silence; only the sound of a basketball hitting the pavement and Brice's laughter from outside was audible. It wasn't until Stephen spoke that the silence broke.

"Kyle has been working with Jessi and Foss to figure out a way to combat this," he tried his best to ease the tension.

"You knew about this?" Lori questioned a little too sharply.

"What do you mean, your body is failing you?" Josh's voice faltered slightly.

"We're not sure how exactly but it has to do with… my mind and abilities expanding faster than my organs can keep up with. It was one of the flaws that the scientists at Zzyzx and Latnok thought they had fixed with my experiment by altering the formula, however it wasn't completely fixed until Jessi was created," I explained the best I could, ignoring Lori's accusation.

"How could that be, I thought you were created the same way?" Andy questioned, she had been brought in on the secret a few years ago.

"The scientists made improvements to the formula with each experiment," I provided. "There were multiple experiments before mine and Jessi's at Zzyzx."

"So because Jessi was created after you, this won't happen to her or Nate?" Declan wanted to clarify.

I nodded.

"What have you guys been working on with the formula?" Josh piped in, "Can't you just used it like mom did and everything will be fine?"

"That's what we're hoping for, right now we're just working on creating the formula," I explained. "Once we do that I'll start with weekly injections and see if it helps."

I tried my best to keep up with all the questions as they came up. The whole time Nicole never said a word. Eventually it began getting dark out and the boys came back inside. Amanda excused herself and went to get Brice to take a bath. Declan had gotten up to sooth Lily who had started fussing, shortly after Peyton started up as well, Andy offered to help and excused herself.

"Nicole?" Stephen spoke as he shifted toward her taking her hand. "Nicole, you haven't said a word all night."

"I don't… I…" She was at a loss for words in complete shock.

I got up from my chair and slowly made my way to the other end of the table. I crouched down between her and Stephen and placed my hand on her arm.

"Mom, I'm going to be alright," I assured her.

She turned in her chair and palmed my cheek in her hand; I could see the tears in the brims of her blue eyes. She was the strongest woman I knew and I could tell she was fighting against her emotions right now, trying her best not to break.

"Everything is going to be okay," I whispered and I felt Stephen place his hand firmly on my shoulder. Josh and Lori hesitantly made their way over to us and I rose to my feet again. Lori pulled me into one of her famous sisterly hugs.

"You're Kyle, of course you're going to be okay," Josh said trying his best to lighten the mood. "You were born in a pod for Pete's sake."

"Josh," Lori couldn't help but smile as she punched him lightly in the arm.

"What?" he chuckled, "It's true, if anyone can get through this it you Kyle. You saved Andy from cancer this should be a piece of cake."

I saw a smile form on Nicole's face and a chuckle came from Stephen as they both stood from their seats as well.

"Josh is right," I said, resting my one arm on Lori's shoulders and my other arm on Nicole's shoulders. "I'll get through this."

Shortly after all the tears subsided and everyone calmed down. Declan, Andy, Nathan and Amanda rejoined us, we hovered around the living room, no one really knew what to say. Peyton and Lily were sprawled out on a blanket that had been spread out on the floor. I laced my arm around Amanda's waist and kissed her temple.

"Hey look!" Nathan called pointing to the girls, breaking the silence.

Lily was crawling about and Peyton was as well. Everyone laughed and the mood of the room completely shifted. Those little girls were crawling for the first time and Lori and Declan couldn't have looked happier. Declan was crouched on the floor coursing them to him. In one moment those little girls were able to take the awkward petty looks that my family had been giving me and turn those looks into smiles and grins.

I looked down to my side and caught Amanda smiling up at me, 'I love you' she mouthed. I gave her a peck on the lips and whispered the same back.

AN: Hey everyone! Hope you all like this new chapter! Let me know what you think, questions, comments, thoughts, it's all welcome! Thanks for reading.