Couldn't sleep so I'm updating again. Thank you very very very much to minaghostwolf , you just boosted a writers ego…good for you . Thanks to the readers and stuff and yes…there's more chick-flick stuff in this one, but I'm gonna lighten it up a bit next chapter…gotta give em a break sometime. Love and Rockets (oooOOOooo rockets….) –Han (Ryah, I hope you read this)

He didn't go inside. Instead he waited in the dark, with a beer and a pensive look. He was reclining on an old van, staring up at the stars and watching first light break over the salvage yard.

The sky looked purple in the east and he figured it was only about five in the morning. He hadn't slept at all. He looked behind him as his car rolled into the lot. He watched it carefully, making sure it was in the same pristine condition he left it in. He didn't move from his spot, but watched as Kat laid her head against the steering wheel and sighed deeply. She looked up and met his eyes, both pairs were red. She got out of his car, and walked slowly towards him. He jumped down then, and waited for her to reach him.

Kat stood in front of him and held out her arms. He managed a small smile and pulled her to his body. She sniffed and buried her head into his chest.

"I don't want to be dead inside," she whispered, so low that he could barely hear her. "Not anymore."

"Me neither," he said back. She looked at him and narrowed her eyes, studying him.

"You better not give up," she said forcefully. "You're not allowed to." He had thought it would take her longer to see through him. "Dean, people need you. Your brother needs you," she paused and looked at him carefully. "I need you, Dean."

He hadn't thought of that. He'd gone through every possible reason for living had not thought that she would care all that much. He looked at her with shocked eyes and she nodded.

"I do. You let me sleep at night and you make me laugh and dance and crack jokes and you keep me sane, Dean. You can't leave me when I barely know you." She looked scared and worried. "You are the best of us Dean. A weapon of heaven with a GED and a give 'em hell attitude. We need you." He laughed and kissed her cheek.

"I think that was exactly what I needed to hear," he admitted quietly. She blushed slightly and punched him jokingly.

"Good."

"And Kat?"

"Yea Batman?" He sighed, things were back to normal when he had a nickname.

"I…I need you too," he mumbled. She smiled and nodded. She had heard him, and she wouldn't make fun of him for it. She turned her back to him and started for the house.

"Do you mind if I talk to Cas alone?" She asked, as they walked inside.

"No, knock yourself out," he said. He was worried about what she wanted to talk about, but trusted her. She went down to the basement and locked eyes with the angel.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked carefully.

"Yes," he said stiffly. He did not want this. He didn't want to be alone with her.

"You are Castiel?" she asked for confirmation. Everyone called him Cas, but she had made the leap.

"Yes, I am an angel of the Lord," he said, tilting his head curiously.

"The one I prayed to?" She asked again. His eyes grew wide with fear and pain.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you answer?" She asked softly, her eyes filling with tears. Cas looked startled. He had expected her to scream and attack and hit, not this.

"I couldn't."

"Why not?" She pressed, walking closer to him. She could see the panic in his eyes, but beyond that, the guilt.

"Heaven had given me an assignment, many years ago…and I took matters into my own hands to save a life. They found out about my disobedience and barred me from Earth. I heard you calling, but I could not reach you," he told her sadly. His entire frame was crushed with guilt, his wings drooping to trail along the ground. He froze suddenly when she hugged him, pulling the angel to her.

"I don't blame you," she whispered.

"I…got a message to Gabriel the day you escaped. So he could help you," he said quietly, his arms still by his side.

"I know you did. He said he owed you a favor. Thank you, Cas. For everything," she said. His mouth twitched upwards and he wrapped his arms around her too, crushing her closer. She allowed him to, feeling as though she were being held by a parent. He provided strength and wisdom and was the rock that Team Free Will needed.

"You are very welcome," he said sincerely. He wanted nothing more than to tell her everything. Explain his charge and his duties and his disobedience. He wanted to tell her why he was barred from heaven and why he could hear every scream and every moan of pain from her time there. He wanted to explain how he had saved his charge, and why it was wrong.

But he couldn't. Instead he held onto her for as long as he could, breathing in her scent and then releasing her. She smiled at him and went back upstairs, letting him resume his faithful vigil over Sam, who was quiet for now.

She found Dean and Bobby upstairs and sat heavily into a kitchen chair. They glanced at her and she waved them off. She rested her head on the table and sighed deeply.

"We should take a break after this," she said.

"Me and Sam were thinking Fiji," Dean said smirking.

"What about Bora Bora?" she questioned. He smiled and shrugged.

"As long as it's secluded and there isn't anything supernatural," he said. She nodded in agreement and went for coffee. "you and Cas duke it out?"

"He told me why, and I told him I understood and I hugged him...and he hugged me back," she said smiling softly. Bobby looked confused but let it go. "You know what I just realized?"

"What?" Dean asked.

"He's the one from my dream…the only good one I've ever had," she said, remembering the night. He hadn't said anything, just been there.

"Maybe he was trying to make up for not being there," Dean suggested.

"Well, it was much appreciated."

"Just so you know, that was the first day he had been on Earth. I bet making sure you slept easy was one of the first things he did," Dean said, wanting Cas to get the credit he deserved.

"After he pulled you from hell, you mean," she said. She had made the jump to how they treated each other.

"Yup. Cas is a good guy," he said. And he knew it was true. If there was someone her could rely on, it was Cas. He had proven to Dean over and over that he would got to the ends of the Earth to do the right thing. It gave Dean a sort of hope that no hunter could provide.

Kat was quiet as she watched Dean reminisce. His eyes were distant and his mouth was in a slight smile. She grabbed a much needed cup of coffee and inhaled the black drink deeply. She took a long sip and sighed as she imagined the caffeine rushing to her bloodstream and waking her up. Bobby looked at her worriedly. He thought she should sleep, but knew she wouldn't.