Blaze: new chapter

Darth: really?

Blaze: yeah, I know it's about time

Anakin: okay then?

Insane Luke: AHHHH PURPLE BEES!

Blaze: those are blue bees, Luke, gee, are you color blind?

Luke: (whistles innocently) no

Blaze: I'm sure, here's part one of this five part chapter

Disclaimer- I don't own Darth Dilectia or any of the songs, books, real world stuff, places and characters in this chapter

Chapter 44

The Idiots Strike Back Pt 1

With the Dunderheads, Above Coruscant…

Palpypie, who still hated being called by this ridiculous nickname, narrowed his eyes as Oilcan guided the starship toward the planet of Coruscant that lay in front of them. Saruman, Sauron, the orcs and the Ringwraiths, as well as all the other evil dunderheads were watching them.

"What's the plan?" Dooku the Friendly Ghost asked.

Palpypie smirked; he really needed to go see a dentist. "This is where I shall meet my new apprentice, and I don't need to see a DENTIST!" he replied.

"You got a new apprentice and you didn't tell me?" Dooku the Friendly Ghost protested.

"You never asked."

Galbycakes frowned. "Who is this new apprentice?" he asked.

"I gave her the name Darth Dilectia, she liked it though I have no idea as to what that name means," Palpypie admitted.

"Neither do I," a new voice sounded.

"Ahhhhh, it's the voices again, make it stop!" Durizzle screamed clutching his head as a willowy girl with braided long blonde hair, green eyes, a bow and arrows with swan fletching and a hand and a half sword with an emerald in the pommel appeared behind them.

"Who are you?" Sauron demanded.

The girl shot Sauron with her arrows before gazing around. "All right, which one of you is Sidious?"

Everyone pointed to Palpypie.

"Hello Darth Dilectia," Palpypie greeted her.

"Lord Sidious," the girl that everyone figured was Dilectia said lowering her head in greeting.

Palpypie smirked. "And now my long awaited plan at revenge shall began," he said laughing scornfully but, of course the clumsy idiotic dunderhead fell almost as soon as he got up.

"Wait a minute, I thought Blaze didn't like narrators," Voldymuffin protested.

"She does but this narrator is a good friend of hers."

"Please don't say it's the strange guy no one knows."

Oh how ever did they guess? Well, I guess that's what happens when you're surrounded by dunderheaded losers like Palpypie and his gang.

"Don't you dare call me a dunderheaded loser, you idiotic dumbass," Dilectia snapped stabbing the stranger/narrator with her sword.

Oh, she just insulted me, this means war!

"Bring it on!" Dilectia yelled.

"Why are you yelling at nothing?" Galbycakes asked.

"Oh shut up, what's the plan, Master?" Dilectia asked turning her green gaze to Palpypie who was busy trying to get back to his feet but he tripped again like the clumsy idiot he is and he crashed into all the other dunderheads, except, strangely enough, Sauron who stepped back to avoid them.

"Idiots," Sauron muttered.

"Whatever happened to Saevitia?" Voldymuffin asked curiously as he got to his feet and promptly stepped back as Palpypie struggled to get to his feet. Well, if you can stand on your own two feet when the entire floor is covered with ice then I congratulate you.

"What the hell do you mean this place is covered in ice?" Palpypie shrieked slipping on the ice-covered floor and he went flying into a group of orcs, knocking them down like bowling pins.

And that Darth Dilectia chose to go with him, gee, she must be an idiot.

"I am not an idiot," Dilectia snapped stabbing the stranger/narrator with her sword before pushing him into a pit filled with piranhas and fire.

That does it! Bring it on, idiot!

"Who are you calling an idiot, dumbass?"

Who are you calling a dumbass, idiot?

"Oh shut up you nerfherder."

Oh that's so original.

"Shut up!"

"Lady Dilectia, stop arguing with the narrator," Palpypie ordered. He finally managed to get to a part of the Star Cruiser that wasn't covered in ice. "Look, there's the Death Star, let's switch over and prepare for our revenge plans."

"What exactly is our plan?" Galbycakes asked.

"I can't say it out loud because then the narrator will warn Blaze," Palpypie replied.

Damn.

Dilectia narrowed her eyes slightly. "Would it have something to do with a certain character?" she asked.

Palpypie smirked; he seriously needed to go see a dentist. "Precisely and I DON'T NEED TO GO SEE A DENTIST!" he yelled angrily.

Gee, someone seriously needs some anger management.

"And I don't need anger management!"

Sure.


The Executor, En Route to Coruscant…

"I wonder what Palpypie's plan is?" Blaze muttered from where she was pacing back and forth on the bridge of the Executor. Her top favorite characters, Anakin, Murtagh, Poseidon, Aragorn, and Percy were watching her while the rest of the characters were doing something that Blaze wasn't really paying attention to.

Which isn't anything knew when it comes to Blaze.

"You're lucky you're my dad or I would have killed you by now," Blaze growled.

Now, now, don't get angry little Blaze and HOT! Oh that was uncalled for!

"Why did you toss your dad into a volcano?" Frodo asked walking over to join them with his hobbit friend Sam at his side.

"Because he was annoying me," Blaze replied with a shrug.

Gee, if someone looked at you wrong, you would be annoyed.

"You're annoying dad!"

Thank you.

Blaze sighed before rolling her eyes skyward as she turned her gaze to the other characters. Obi-Wan and Nemesis were talking with Gandalf and Rose, Wolf was standing nearby staring off into space while Legolas Eragon's Ghost, Brom and Arya talked about something Blaze was too far away to hear.

"Jedi are better than wizards," Obi-Wan said.

"No way, wizards are so better than Jedi," Gandalf protested.

"Jedi!"

"Wizards!"

"Jedi!"

"Wizards!"

"Jedi!"

"Wizards!"

"Shut up you two, you're giving us a headache!" Nemesis and Rose yelled at the exact same time.

"What's Obi-Wan arguing about now?" Anakin asked.

"Whether Jedi are better than wizards," Murtagh replied.

"Oh that's easy, Jedi are so better than wizards."

"No way, wizards are so better than Jedi," Murtagh retorted and the two of them started arguing about that. Blaze sighed before she walked over to her two most favorite characters and proceeded to toss a bucket of slime on them.

"That was mean!" they both yelled at the exact same time.

"Well then stop arguing 'cause I have a headache," Blaze muttered. "Does anyone, by chance, have any Tylenol?"

"Here you go," Brom said tossing a bottle of Tylenol at Blaze and it proceeded to hit her in the head. She scowled at him before Force pushing him into a ditch that just happened to be on the bridge of the Executor.

"I don't want to know where that came from," Eragon's Ghost said.

Blaze took some Tylenol before gazing at the hyperspace lanes before frowning when she spotted huge strawberries floating in the lanes beside the Star Destroyer. "Am I the only one that can see that?" she asked pointing to the strawberries.

"STRAWBERRIES!" Insane Luke screamed.

"I guess not."

Poseidon narrowed his eyes. "Where are we going?" he asked.

Blaze frowned. "Coruscant, I think."

"You think?"

"Well, I accidentally spilled some Pepsi on the navicomputer so I'm not sure if they are still reading the coordinates for Coruscant."

Obi-Wan glanced over at them. "Let's hope we're not flying into a sun," he said.

"Oh I doubt that," Blaze said with a shrug. "With any luck, we'll only be flying into the Maw Cluster."

"That's a cheery thought."

"I know isn't it?"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Yeah so was I."

"AH Purple Bees!" Luke yelled hiding behind Anakin as a swarm of blue bees flew onto the bridge.

"Gee, you must be color blind," Anakin said.

"I sure can see that," Murtagh replied. Both of them were each enjoying their own candy sundae from Sonic.

"Hey, why didn't you get me one?" Blaze whined.

"Sorry," Anakin said before handing her a candy sundae.

"YAY!" Blaze yelled starting to eat the candy as she waited for the blue bees to make their report. Everyone prudently took a step back because they knew of what happened when Blaze was hyper and candy only made her even more hyper than ever.

"Mistress, the Dunderheads have gathered above Coruscant on a newly reformed Death Star though they were unable to get the large green DX off of it," the lead blue bee began.

"Hee, hee, hee, hee," Yoda and Qui-Gon chuckled.

"Anyway, the Grand Army of Arctic Foxes and the Grand Army of Polar Bears are waiting further orders and I left some of my men behind to report on anything else the Dunderheads might come up with. Oh and it seems Palpypie has a new apprentice," the lead blue bee said.

"Great, who is it this time?" Nemesis asked.

"She's known as Darth Dilectia," the lead blue bee replied.

Blaze groaned. "Not her again," she complained.

Seeing everyone was looking at her, she shrugged. "We ran into each other during the battle for my remote while I was on Venus," she said.

"Is there anything we need to know about her?"

"She's unpredictable."

"That's much help."

Blaze narrowed her eyes in thought as the Executor came out of hyperspace. The giant strawberries she had seen earlier now disappeared and the image of the Great Rolling Ball appeared before her.

Ha, Great Rolling Ball, I'm keeping that.

"Another Death Star? I hated the last one!" Anakin exclaimed.

"Actually it's called the Great Rolling Ball," Blaze said.

"What? Is it a bowling ball?"

"Maybe."

Obi-Wan walked over to join them on the bridge. "They aren't attacking," he commented.

No duh.

"I don't need your sarcasm, you stupid narrator!"

He just called me stupid, did you hear him call me stupid? I'm going to break him into tiny pieces and toss him into a black hole!

"No dad," Blaze said.

But…

"NO DAD!"

Fine!

Blaze narrowed her eyes. "Palpypie must have another plan," she muttered.

"And what would that plan be?" Murtagh asked as he pulled out a large pixie stick and started to eat it.

"CANDY!" Blaze screamed.

"MINE!" Murtagh yelled.

"MINE!" Blaze yelled tackling Murtagh to the ground and the two of them began fighting over the large pixie stick.

"Great, they're much help," Eragon's Ghost muttered.

"AIIIIEE GHOST!" Arya screamed.

"Gee, that is so getting old," Brom muttered.

"You're telling me but so is me being a ghost! When the hell is Blaze going to make me alive again?" Eragon's Ghost complained.

"Why don't you ask her?" Brom suggested pointing to where Blaze and Murtagh had rolled down the hallway of the Star Destroyer, still fighting over the large pixie stick.

"Ah no thanks."

"Smart."

"Are we just sitting ducks until Blaze gets back?" Aragorn asked curiously.

"I sure hope not," Legolas said.


With the Dunderheads, the Death Star…

"Ma'am, the Executor has arrived," a Ringwraith said walking to Dilectia's side.

"Didn't I tell that idiot Palpypie that if he wanted to tell me something to come tell me himself?" Dilectia asked.

"Yes."

"THEN WHY THE HELL DID HE SEND YOU?" Dilectia yelled slicing the Ringwraith in half with her magenta lightsaber before clipping it to her belt and stalking to the bridge of the Death Star.

"Why did you kill one of my Ringwraiths? I only have nine of those you know," Sauron said.

"Well actually seven now, one was killed by Dilectia while the other fell down a hole and can't get back out," Saruman said.

"Stupid Ringwraiths," Sauron growled. "Then again, Ringwraiths aren't as stupid as orcs."

"Yeah…hey!" Saruman protested.

"Took you long enough," Dooku the Friendly Ghost muttered.

"Enough chatting you two, where's Sidious?" Dilectia demanded.

"There," Galbycakes said pointing to the large viewports of the Death Star. Dilectia pushed past the Dunderheads before walking over to join Palpypie at the viewports.

"What's the plan?" she asked.

"Simple really, all we have to do is send someone onto the Death Star and kidnap some very important characters," Palpypienincompoop replied before scowling. "Stupid narrator."

Stupid emperor!

"Idiotic narrator!"

Idiotic stupid dunderheaded dumb pansy pedophilic ignorant retarded emperor.

Strangely enough, Palpypie couldn't think of a comeback to that one, ha!

Palpypie growled before looking at Dilectia. "I want you to issue the orders. Remember, no harm is to come from them. Just detain them long enough to bring them here," he ordered.

"Yes master," Dilectia said before she turned around and walked away to gather her troops for the raid of the Star Destroyer, the Executor.

Everything is going exactly as it has been planned, Palpypienincompoop Sissyface thought smirking evilly. And that is not my name!

It is now, dunderheaded loser.

Palpypienincompoop Sissyface scowled angrily, thinking about a way to get rid of the annoying stranger/narrator while going about his plans for ultimate revenge.


a/n what do you think?

Blaze: the next chapter will be longer

Darth: that's cool

Palpypie: I hate my new name

Darth: so?

Luke: why did Blaze pick you as the narrator?

Darth: 'cause I'm the only one that she won't kill and she hates narrators

Luke: oh

Blaze: please review and I'll post chapter 45 as soon as I possibly can but I doubt it will be anytime soon, probably in a few weeks to a few months.