Chapter 51
Wrestlemania was getting closer and closer, and the matches of the night saw stipulations that would lead into the big day.
One match scheduled was a Divas' Battle Royal to determine the No.1 contender for Beth's Diva's Championship, along with the six woman tag team match versing Beth, Nattie, and a partner of theirs against Mickie, AJ, and Britani. As for the Guns, they were hoping to get some type of match against Ziggler and Swagger at Wrestlemania, but didn't get word of anything yet. Now, the girls were preparing for their match when the Guns joined them in their locker room...
"What, ladies, no visit to our neck of the woods tonight?" asked Alex.
AJ giggled. "Sorry, babe, we meant to visit your room like we usually do, but we've been glued to the TV here watching the Battle Royal."
"Yeah, we're hoping that Britani gets the win." agreed Mickie.
"Well, where's Punk? Shouldn't he be here to watch his future girlfriend?" asked Chris.
"Probably drooling in front of the TV in his locker room." the Country Diva chuckled. "I swear, for as long as I've known him, I've never seen him this way before."
"He actually reminds me of me when I first met the lovely April here." replied Alex.
"No, Punk acted way more mature than you did, dude." Chris said surely. "Remember, you were a stuttering, babbling idiot who couldn't even say two words to-"
"Shut up, Sabin." he grumbled.
"No!" he argued.
"Guys, guys, c'mon, we're trying to watch!" AJ exclaimed, taking Alex's arm.
In the ring, Kelly Kelly, Eve, The Bellas, Alicia Fox, and Britani were left battling in the ring, while Beth and Natalya were on commentary with King and the biggest Tool of them all, Michael Cole.
"Seriously, guys, none of these Barbies even deserve to look at my title, much less compete for it!" Beth exclaimed. "This is just going to be a waste of time for them."
Meanwhile, Kelly tried to take down Nikki Bella with a running bulldog, but Brie stepped in and managed to clothesline the blonde over the ropes. Kelly refused to let go and clung to the ropes, with both Bellas fighting to shove her off. Thinking that this was a golden opportunity to lower the stakes, Britani managed to lift all three Divas and shove them all over the ropes, eliminating them simultaneously. The fans cheered at this, while Beth and Nattie were shocked that she was able to do that.
"Ok, that's-that's not fair." Natalya announced. "She's not supposed to be that strong, I mean look at her! She's a Barbie doll!"
At this point, Alicia, Eve, and Britani were left in the ring. The three faces circled one another, but then Alicia and Eve thought about Britani's strength advantage and targeted her next. The Divas double teamed the British Diva with a slur of punches and kicks, and cornered her into one of the turnbuckles. While she tried to compose herself and fight back, she got up and ran for the two Divas, when both Eve and Alicia were able to clothesline her back down. Then, they lifted up the British Diva and attempted to throw her over the rope, but like Kelly, she clung onto the rope with a new strategy in mind. Now, the three Divas were all clung to the top rope, all attempting to get rid of the British Diva. Eve lost her grip though, and fell from the top rope, eliminating herself next.
With only two Divas left, Britani and Alicia were both still hanging on for dear life on the same rope. Her strategy still in mind, Britani was able to maneuver herself to where she leaned forward over the top rope and grabbed onto Alicia's ankles, pulling them back while Britani's legs were tightly wrapped around the Foxy Diva's upper body. The fans were very impressed with her rope-hung Boston crab and cheered in approval. Alicia cried out in pain, and as soon as Britani's legs let go of the other woman's upper body, she slumped back to the mat. The British woman let her go, and with her weakened state, it made it easier for Britani to finally toss the Diva over the top rope and win the match.
"Here is your winner and new number one contender for the Diva's Championship, Britani Knight!" announced Lillian.
The crowd cheered for the new Diva as she stepped over the top turnbuckle and posed for the fans, before she glanced towards Beth and pointed at her title. The blonde shot a look back at her and furiously shook her head 'no', refusing to give up her title for anyone.
Backstage...
"Yay, she won! I knew it!" exclaimed AJ.
"Dude, that was a sick submission hold. I gotta learn that." Alex agreed, crossing his arms.
Then from out of nowhere, Punk bursted in the room, totally excited. "Guys, she won, she won! I'm busting out the Pepsi's!" he exclaimed before leaving again.
"...So how come she gets Pepsi's from him but I can't get one from him?" asked Chris.
"Dude, just buy one from the vending machine." replied Mickie.
"And waste a buck fifty?" he cried back.
"And you called ME the cheapskate." Alex muttered. "Even I'm not as bad as you are."
"Oh, leave me alone, Shelley!" he whined.
Then, someone knocked on the door. "Who could that be?" Alex asked, opening the door to find Good ol Mr. Laurinitis!
The tag team specialist eyed him down. "...Gross." he scoffed.
"Now yes, contain your excitement. It is I, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and Interim-"
"Just get on with it before my already small attention span diminishes to nothing." interrupted Chris.
"Ahem. Right, so I have an announcement. As you all know, Wrestlemania is right around the corner, and everyone believes that you two would be a hit at the Grandest Stage of them all." he continued. "So tonight, you two are going to be in a handicapped match against the team of Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Dave Batista."
The guys looked at each other and shrugged.
"All right, great, we get another chance to kick their sorry asses, but what does that have to do with Wrestlemania?" asked Alex.
"Here's the thing. If you two are able to defeat them, not only will you go to Wrestlemania, but you'll get another title match there, too."
"Now you're talking our language!" Chris exclaimed excitedly.
"Wait, wait one sec. Say for some apparent reason we don't win. Does that mean that we won't be going to Wrestlemania?" asked Shelley.
"I'm afraid so." replied Mr. L.
The four of them grew silent.
"So, you better get ready for your match, because it's coming up later tonight. Chao." the GM announced, leaving while he was texting something else to nobody in particular.
"Oh, man." Chris sighed. "Dude, we HAVE to make it to Wrestlemania, we're the Guns! You know how much of an impact we had since we got here?"
"Of course." Alex replied with a sigh. "Wow, this just bummed out the rest of our night."
"Guys, listen to yourselves!" exclaimed AJ. "You haven't even had your match yet and you're already thinking about what happens if you lose? Think about all the matches that you've won! I mean, you've had this super long undefeated streak since your first night here, until Dolph CHEATED to break your streak."
"But that's the thing, April, those guys have cheated in every way in every match that we've had together." replied Alex. "Look back at our last title match, for example. The bleach-blonde bastard sprayed red Gatorade in my face and tried to pass that off as blood, so we automatically lost!"
"But you can't let that stop you guys." replied Mickie. "Yes, it's a handicapped match, but that isn't a challenge for you. You two are the Motor City Machine Guns! You have to think positive and win this, because AJ and I aren't going to have any fun at Wrestlemania without you guys."
"That's true. You won't have any fun without Shelleykins and the Chrismeister there." agreed Chris. "You two really think we can do this?"
AJ gave Alex a kiss while Mickie did the same with Chris.
"Hell yes." the Divas agreed.
After that little motivational speech, the Guns looked at each other and smiled.
"All right, Sabin, we got a match to prepare for." Alex announced.
In the hall, Ziggler and his drones overheard Laurinitis's announcement too, and had a plan of their own...
"So, a 3 on 2 handicapped match where if the Guns lose, they're not goin' to Wrestlemania. I gotta give Johnny Ace his props, that's a genius idea." announced Ziggler.
"But what if they do find a way to win and get their title match?" asked Jack.
He gave him a look. "They're not. Look, guys. Cheating is what got us this far, and we'll do it again tonight to ensure that those two punks don't step foot in Miami. Got it?"
Dave cracked his knuckles and nodded as Jack nodded too. "All right, so what's the plan, Ziggler?" asked the Animal.
He was about to say something, but then looked at Dave's shirt. "Dude, do you seriously shop at the Baby Gap?" he asked.
"Can we all just drop it?" he demanded, angry.
"Ok, ok, anyways, yeah. Here's the plan, listen up." the Perfectionist announced, getting into a group huddle with his cohorts.
A little later, it was just about time for the handicapped match. How would this go down?
"I am perfection
Perfection
I am perfection
So take your best shot
Give it all you got
Show me love
Some things are exactly what they seem
I wlll define the things you dream
Go check the scores again
Call mine a perfect ten...
Lillian announced, "This handicapped match is scheduled for one fall! Approaching the ring first is the team of Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Batista!"
The crowd immediately began a round of boos upon seeing the three heels, and as usual, Ziggler, Swagger, and Batista were completely unfazed. As they headed into the ring, Dave and Dolph each stood over the ringposts and posed for the fans while Jack ran laps around the ring like a happy idiot. Ziggler's music soon cut short as the Guns' theme flooded the arena next, the crowd roaring in anticipation of their favorites.
"Hundred miles an hour on a dead end road
I need a little Detroit in my soul
Every night's hotel a different name
It's part of the game
Everybody wants to be just like me
Fame and fortune is their fantasy
I gotta get back where the life was pretty
Rockin all the way to the Motorcity
Motorcity, motorcity, motorcity, I'm rockin' all the way to the motorcity..."
"And their opponents, hailing from Detroit, Michigan, is the team of Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, the Motor City Machine Guns!" announced Lillian.
Alex and Chris stood back to back and posed their 'Guns' sign, before heading down the ramp and slapping hands with the fans. Ziggler and his gang all slid out of the ring to glare at the two who had just slid in the ring, going over some last minute strategies. Chris and Alex glared down at the three before posing for the fans, and soon enough, everyone stepped back into the ring. Everyone called out a series of threats towards one another from across the ring, until the ref had to settle everyone down. Finally, Dave stepped in first, followed by Chris, who wanted another chance to take down his enemy.
The two men circled around each other before Dave swung a quick punch towards the Detroit native. He ducked and sped towards the ropes, turned back around, dodged another punch from Dave and sped back to the ropes on the opposite side, and then quickly took the muscled Superstar down with a springboard from the ropes into a tornado DDT. Sabin went for the cover, but Dave kicked out at two. Next, Chris attacked the Animal with a few more high kicks and punches, while he led him to his corner. He tagged in Alex, where Chris held Dave in a fireman's carry, allowing Shelley to hit a diving double foot stomp onto the Animal, followed by Sabin hitting a fireman's carry takeover, resulting in Dave roughly landing onto Shelley's knees.
Ziggler and Swagger were outraged at this, so they ignored the rules and sped into the ring, throwing whatever attacks they could towards the Guns. For a moment, it was an all out brawl until Ziggler, Swagger, and Dave managed to get the upper hand and pummel the boys down to the mat, the crowd jeering in disapproval. The Guns stumbled back up, but were soon taken down, over the ropes, and out of the ring with a devastating clothesline from Batista. The three heels raised their arms in victory as they stood in the middle of the ring, but while they were basking in their glory, Shelley and Sabin managed to drag both Ziggler and Swagger out of the ring and onto the floor, where Alex forcefully tossed the Perfectionist into the steel steps, and Chris tossed the All American American over the announce table. In fact, Swagger landed in Cole's lap. Ha ha. The fans cheered again while the Guns slid back into the ring and posed for the crowd. Would they keep this momentum going until the end?
Later, Swagger faced off against Alex in the ring, and he had the upper hand over the Detroit native. First he attacked the tag team specialist with a wheelbarrow suplex, followed by a devastating Oklahoma stampede, ramming Shelley's back into the corner turnbuckles. Now in the heels' corner of the ring, Swagger tagged in Dolph while he still held down Alex, and Dolph capitalized with a jumping elbow drop to the former X-Division champ's chest. Shelley tried to escape his corner, but the ref caught Chris trying to interfere on the opposite side. So with the ref's back turned, Dave, Ziggler, and Swagger each took turns pummeling Shelley while the crowd reacted angrily to this.
When the ref finally did turn around, he told Swagger and Dave to back off, allowing Ziggler to try and attack Shelley once more with an inverted body slam. He went for the cover, but Alex kicked out at two. Frustrated, the bleach-blonde pulled him up by the hair and was about to try something else, before Shelley fought back and took Ziggler down with a surprise enzuigiri move. He went for the cover this time, but Dolph kicked out at two. After this, the two got back up and began trading blows, with the crowd alternating between cheers and jeers. Ziggler got the upper hand again, though, and took him down once again with a fireman's carry gutbuster from the second rope. Thinking that he was finally going to win this, the Perfectionist went for the cover, but Chris slid in and broke the pin.
Dave and Jack immediately took note of this and sped to the other side of the ring to meet Chris, where he sped away from them and to the opposite side. Dave and Jack cornered him soon after, but Sabin looked at them before headbutting their skulls together in an emergency maneuver. The ref's back was turned again, though, allowing a dazed Jack to slide in one of the title belts towards Dolph in the ring. The bleach blonde looked to finish Shelley once and for all, but when he aimed the belt towards Alex, he ducked just in time for Ziggler to accidentally clock Dave in the head with the heavy metal and cause him to fall off of the ring apron and onto the floor.
The Perfectionist looked stunned for a moment, allowing Shelley and Sabin to do what they do best. Once Ziggler turned around the Guns each took turns superkicking him before simultaneously superkicking him at the same time. Stunned, the blonde got back up just to be attacked with a falling neckbreaker, courtesy of Chris, followed by a diving crossbody by Shelley. Alex quickly went for the cover where the ref counted, "1...2...3!"
The crowd roared in the Guns' favor as Lillian announced, "Here are your winners, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, the Motor City Machine Guns!"
The Guns looked shocked for a moment and then smiled, quickly rolling out of the ring and heading up the ramp as Ziggler and his guys angrily yelled towards them from the ring. Chris and Alex laughed and posed the Guns' sign, watching an irate Ziggler screaming his head off at both Swagger and Dave. This was excellent news for the Guns, though. Not only were they headed to Wrestlemania, but they also got their title rematch against the two men that they despised most. Revenge really is sweet. ;)
