Chapter Forty-Three

The conversation from a week prior kept playing over and over again in Evelyns head.

"That's not possible." Evelyn whispered, staring at Arcade in horror. She hated the look of pity on his face, hated what he was saying. The nausea she had become accustomed to in the previous two weeks was replaced by a much stronger sickness, flat out terror and dread.

Arcade ran his fingers through his blond hair. "Evie, I'm sure I don't need to explain exactly how it's possible." The doctor told her softly.

"Well, how do I take care of it?" She asked, her face looking drawn.

"Take care of it?" Arcade asked, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "I'm sure there are other people who can tell you all about that. I'm far from an expert on infants."

"I mean to get rid of it Arcade." Evelyn sighed. She rubbed the bridge of her nose in

"Get rid of it?!" Arcade yelped. "No. No. You can't do that."

"I don't need your opinion Arcade! I need fucking options! I cannot be fucking pregnant!" She snapped, her hands curled into fists.

"You can and you are Evie!" Arcade snapped back. "And if you try to seek out some alleyway butcher, you'll die. I've seen it too many times. No real doctor will help you."

"Why?" She whimpered, her face crumpling as the tears came forth.

"Because life is precious. A gift. With life there is hope. There's too much dying and pain." He told her, looking fierce. "You're scared now, but it will get better. This is a gift."

Evelyn sighed, her shoulders slumping as she brought her hands up to her face. Arcade patted her shoulder awkwardly and left her suite.

"I didn't mean ta eavesdrop." Vincent interrupted her misery. She hadn't left her suite since that fateful conversation. She had barely moved at all. "But I heard Boone talkin to Arcade a lil bit ago. They was talkin bout yer... Condition." She looked up at him through bleary eyes.

"It's okay. Saves me from having to explain I guess." She whispered.

"Miss Evelyn, ain't my job to tell ya what to do and it ain't my right. But kin I ask ya somethin?" The large man asked. He looked hesitant.

"Yeah." She said softly, pulling her knees to her chest.

"Why don't ya wanna be a mama?" His blue eyes were filled with sympathy and she looked away. She didn't deserve his sympathy. She had done this to herself. For the most part anyway.

"I don't know how." She admitted, the tears flowing again.

"Well jist do what yer mama did." Vincent suggested, taking her hands in his. "I'm sure every new mama gets a lil scared at first. But mamas been doin their duty forever."

"My mom died giving birth to me Vincent. I never had a mom." She said. "I can't be somebody's mom."

Vincent squeezed her hands. "Ya are though. An I think you'll do a good job. But ya know what we gotta do?" He asked.

She looked up. "What?"

"Gotta find Charon." Vincent said, bobbing his head.

She jerked away from him and shook her head vehemently. "No!" She shouted. She felt sick again.

"He has a right ta know." Vincent insisted. "I always wanted ta be a daddy. Ya shouldn't take it away from 'im."

"He's not-" Evelyn couldn't even say it. "Ghouls can't have children."

The sight of Vincent's blue eyes going wide bathed Evelyn in more shame than she had ever felt. "So Harland..." He trailed off.

"Yeah." She hiccuped miserably. The large man scooped her into his arms carefully.

Evelyn sobbed into his shoulder. Her whole body shook as she broke down.

"He's never going to stop hating me now." She sobbed.

"Ya don't know that." Vincent soothed, stroking her long blond hair. "He loves ya."

"He replaced me!" She screamed. Her face turned red. "Like I was nothing!"

"Ya hurt him." Vincent reminded her softly. "Hurt people do crazy thangs sometimes. You hidin from him ain't gonna help ya none." Evelyn just kept sobbing.

"Evelyn?" A strange voice broke in. Evelyn and Vincent turned to the door and Evelyn gasped.

The petite little redhead she hated so much stood there, twisting a beat up old cowboy in her hands. She was so pretty, standing there in her brown dress and little white shoes stained by the red dust. Her hair was a wild tangle of curls but it worked for her.

"What do you want?" Evelyn barked. She didn't have the energy to pretend she didn't know who she was.

"I came here to..." The redhead started, before she sighed deeply. "I need to talk to you."

"I don't care what you need." Evelyn snapped.

"Evie." Vincent admonished.

"You think I want to be here?" The redhead snapped. "That I want to come to you and tell you this? You don't deserve him! You don't love him!" Little fists rested on petite hips and the small woman trembled with rage.

Evelyn leapt to her feet. "How dare you! You think because you've been fucking him for four months you love him? You think you know me? I love him more than anything! He's my fucking everything and he left me! I wanted to die! You stupid bitch!" Vincent held Evelyn back, lifting her from the ground as she fought to get ahold of the much smaller woman. To the redheads credit, she didn't back away. That seemed to enrage Evelyn further. She kicked for a few minutes before going limp. She started crying, her despair clear on her face. Vincent set her down. She crossed her arms over herself and hugged as if trying to contain her pain.

The redhead cleared her throat, gray eyes wide. "He loves you." She said softly, looking as if the sentence pained her. "He's here."

Evelyn lifted her head. "Here?" She whispered hoarsely. She looked confused.

"He didn't think you would want to see him." The small woman said. "He's in the lobby."

Evelyn didn't reply. She took off at a sprint, brushing past the redhead. She threw herself into the elevator and pressed the buttons urgently. She slapped at them impatiently, screaming in frustration. She needed to get down there before he left! After what felt like an eternity, the doors opened with a loud ding.

And there he was. He was wearing different clothes, but he was exactly as he always had been. Impassive and quiet. She didn't stop to think that she looked a mess, her blond hair greasy and limp. She wore the ugly green and pink lounge pants he hated so much and a ratty off white tank top that had a tear at the bottom where the worn fabric had given way to her nervous tugging. She just ran to him.

"Charon!" She wailed, throwing herself into his arms. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to him as she cried.

His arms wrapped around her, holding her up by her thighs. "Evelyn." He breathed against her ear, nuzzling her cheek. "I have missed you so much." He told her as her tears hit his cheek. "Do not cry dear one."

"Charon." She whimpered. "I love you. I love you. Love you." She chanted.

"And I love you." He murmured, setting her down gently. She wrapped her arms around him, not willing to let go.

"You left me." She whimpered, peering up at him.

"You were with someone else." Charon said, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. He cradled her face in his large hands carefully. "I only wished for you to be happy."

Evelyn sniffed loudly. "How could I be happy without you?" She asked in disbelief. "I've been miserable."

"I am not leaving again." He said forcefully. His hands rested on her waist, close to her ever so slightly distended belly and she flinched, reality setting in. She pulled away.

"You will." She whispered miserably.

"I will not." He insisted. He reached for her again, clasping her hands.

"I messed up Charon." Evelyn couldn't look at him. "Bad."

"It does not matter. It is the past." Charon said firmly. "I love you."

"It's not that!" Evelyn said in frustration. She lifted up her shirt. "It's this." She pointed to her stomach.

Charon blinked at her. "You have gained weight?" He asked.

Evelyn looked down with a frown. "You can tell? What? No!" She groaned. "I'm pregnant Charon." She said so softly that she was barely audible.

The large ghoul looked as if someone had dumped a large bucket of cold water over his head. "That is not possible." He said, staring at her stomach, looking almost frightened. "Ghouls cannot have children."

"I know." She replied, tears filling her eyes again.

Realization crossed his features. "I see." He said. "The smoothskin from Freeside." His entire body stiffened. He let go of her hands, his hands gripping his thighs tightly.

"It was only once." She pleaded, fighting back the tears. "I know it's not an excuse, it was a mistake. And I'm so, so sorry."

Charon lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I love you Evelyn. Every part of you. Even this." He lay his large hand against her stomach. "Especially this."